What Makes Shite, Shite?

[D Spares & Tyres]

My definitions may upset some people but that doesn`t bother me

 

It has to be undesirable to the general public

 

Sorry, VW campers and beetles are way too popular to be shite

 

Same goes for anything now desirable like Minors, 2CVs Minis etc

 

Modern day Rover and MG products? Not shite, they are way too common. As soon as they become rarer then they will be shite. Apart from maybe the City Rover as that is not only rare but shit and also probably shite

 

Almost any proper classic can`t truly be shite

 

A good test of shite is your average `Jones` with their 3 year old silver Golf on finance and their concrete print drive. If they turn their nose up at your motor then it is shite and I would be proud to drive it

 

Also small kids are good at shite naming. Mine are honest, they love my 1959 Standard, my 1981 Mercedes and other classics but they wouldn`t be seen dead in the Tercel I`m sure.......

[Taff]

 

 

 

Almost any proper classic can`t truly be shite

 

 

 

what's a proper classic, then?

[D Spares & Tyres]

what's a proper classic, then?

 

ah, another can of worms.......

 

something that has reached rock bottom in price and is now going up again is a good start.......

 

I`m not knocking anyones cars by the way, I have both classics and shite.oh and some shit too

[Pillock]

Shite will make you poor.

A proper classic will bankrupt you.

[D Spares & Tyres]

ah but a bona fide classic is an investment.....

[Taff]

ah, another can of worms.......

 

something that has reached rock bottom in price and is now going up again is a good start.......

 

I`m not knocking anyones cars by the way, I have both classics and shite.oh and some shit too

 

I wasn't having a swedge at you mate. "proper classic" is a phrase I don't really like, it conjurs up the image of some smug cunt with millions thrown at his common-as-fuck E-type sneering at the guy who owns the oldest recorded Austin Maxi.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I wasn't having a swedge at you mate. "proper classic" is a phrase I don't really like, it conjurs up the image of some smug cunt with millions thrown at his common-as-fuck E-type sneering at the guy who owns the oldest recorded Austin Maxi.

I know

 

Nothing more dull than seeing a row of mint TR6s or Jags with all the history painted out of them. Almost as boring as new cars. I like proper patina that tells a story.

 

I`d like a tatty but solid E-type though. With a 6cyl BMW diesel in it.

[I_am_Diesel]

For me, my definition of shite is something that I am itching to put a bid on whilst browsing a popular internet auction site after consuming far more strong Belgian beer than is good for me.

[New POD]

 

The Honda is shite, because it's not been as reliable as it's supposed to be, has let me down both financially and literally, has hidden crash damage, and the six disc changer in the dash has 6 discs that won't play and won't come out.

 

It also has a "Vibration" that only new drive shafts will cure. Plus the alloys are scabby and because it's got 135 K on the clock it is virtually worthless.  Like all cars that are shite it does it's job (a to b at speed and in comfort) so no reason to get rid.

 

The Mx5 is shite, because it is a) Poverty spec not even the radio works c) it's rusty d) it only got 90 bhp as standard, e) the clutch is starting to slip.

 

The BINI is shite because erm "real" petrolheads and mini enthusiasts think it's not a real mini and a girls car, and none car people think a 51 plate is scrappage, and because actually it's great, apart from the reputation for shit gearboxes, shit power steering and rattles of trim.  It must be real shite, because it has a cassette head unit, with 6 disc changer in the boot.

[DodgyBastard]

Sorry but those are just shit!

[FakeConcern]

Now we're getting a distinction between shite & shit, do we need a new thread?

[RayMK]

I drove a Rover shitty when they were new - it was a courtesy car because the garage had run out of knackered Corsas.  The City actually scared me on a dual carriageway at 70mph.  A very slight corner, unnoticeable in most cars, yet this thing felt as though it wanted to let go but couldn't decide which end.

 

Several years down the line, the event still etched in my memory, I'm looking at any cheap car and would not say no to one (except I want an automatic).  For me, shit has become shite.  If I bought one, I would just drive it slowly and avoid corners.  So it follows that a shite car has character, even if it is that of a murderer.

[New POD]

Sorry but those are just shit!

 

 

Thank you.  I've achieved the impossible. Ownership of 3 shit but not shite cars.

[Pillock]

Thank you. I've achieved the impossible. Ownership of 3 shit but not shite cars.

Naaah, mx5 definitely shite. Mini probably not so, Honda getting there.

[jonny69]

Perhaps we need a sliding scale for shite. I mean, we know proper hero-spec shite when we see it because it ticks all the boxes. I.e. it's obscure and undesirable; parts are hard/impossible to get; huge unnecessary road trip to collect; it's fucked when the owner gets it; it's worthless; will cost a lot to fix; still worthless once fixed; nothing but misery once on the road; Peugeot-205-for-sale-for-buttons-on-Autoshite resale potential; etc etc.

[Junkman]

You know that your car is shite when your children don't talk to you on the school run and your wife demands her own.

[tooSavvy]

So... my savv is Shit, e?

 

TS

[Sloth in a bowl]

Shite doesn't have a definition but shiteist's are generally advocates of bargain basement motoring; usually without wishing to ever waste a usable vehicle but always accepting that you can't save every one.

 

 

The shite it self can be in one or more of several flavours:

 

The cheap modern, typically 8 to 15 years old.

 

The 'there used to be loads of them about, but not any more' many family cars from 20 to 30 years old

 

The 'it was an anti-fashion choice from the start' from Watburg to Proton and beyond (with a sub-group of Hydro suspension Citroen die hards)

 

The too bland to be classic, where aging Hondas go to be restored

 

The daily driver classic, where old Rovers are run into the ground, but in a good way

 

and there will be other groups that I have missed

[mitsisigma01]

What makes shite shite ???

My mitsi Sigma 3 litre V6 manual box , bought after a night on the pop , wanted a cheap small van ended up with a massive thirsty tank of an estate ......with a minor idling niggle , but it was cheap with long mot , 4 new tyres , just been serviced and £75 quids worth of juice in the tank .... Never seen one before agreed to buy it without seeing it first .....went to collect it with thoughts like OMG what have I done , its gonna cost a bomb to fix etc etc. ...

What a surprise I had , no rust , everything working , engine sweet as a nut .... I've had it about 4 years now , what has it cost me to fix ..... 1 part worn tyre and about 2 litres of oil both of which I already had !!!! What a shitbitch of a motor !!! My mate says I'm a jammy shit ! Can't think why !

It does still have a slight idling issue but I forgive her , no bitches are perfect , I was gonna treat her to a wash and cutback of the paintwork then a polish , I made it as far as winning a polisher off shitebay and giving her a pressure wash .... the polisher remains unused so the paintwork is as flat as shit .

On a more serious note , have any fellow Autoshitters ever seen one or know where another one is because according to " how manyleft.co.uk my Sigma estate is the last one on a 96 plate on the road and I think there is only 2 or 3 other years models left as well so any help finding spares would be greatly appreciated ,

After spending ages typing this I hope it goes online ok !!!

Need to go for a manualshite and a bath now I'm knackered .

Any Autoshitters in Sussex ?

Cheers

[LC Torana]

I think an accountant could give us a definition of sh!te:

 

Something along the lines of

 

Any car whose residual value is low enough for depreciation to be negligible

 

or

 

Any car worth only its scrap value

[vulgalour]

Shite is:

the car you sell for less than scrap value a week before their values sky rocket.

immune to depreciation in theory but in practice will eat your last tin of beans and reverse over your last slice of toast just to rub it in

completely undesirable to everyone the moment you take ownership

basic

*said through gritted teeth* idiosyncratic, charming and/or a relic of a bygone age

best viewed through rose tinted spectacles

best viewed in the rain, at night, from a distance of 200 yards or more

bought on the strength of photographs on the internet

rusty

a great way to sort the wheat from the chaff, socially speaking

[Taff]

The Galaxie is shite, because despite it being a 50's classic yank, it's a base model runabout, misery spec when made & delivered. It also has a known fault which Ford choose to ignore (rocker shaft oil galleries). For extra qualification, it's the only one of it's type in the country yet is currently worth less than I paid for it. Winner!

The F is shite as it had stacks of potential when on the drawing board and then MGR opted for a comedy exploding engine to keep the owners on their toes. Toss in a handful of comedy flaws (courtesy light operated by the door lock mounted micro switch which is directly in line for ingress of rain for example)

The X is shite because it's another great idea for a car that could have been eleventy times better for a slightly bigger engine, better brakes, better electricity and better rust prevention (HA!)

 

I love all three. Already told my son he is inheriting them.

[J-Rod]

For me, 'shite' is an interesting old car which is not particularly fashionable.

...and usually very useful too 

[oldcars]

Shite for me is stuff that was not popular or used to look tatty when i was a lad. Stuff like Montegos, Marina's etc.

[John F]

I think "shite" can be summed up in just one word that covers all considerations of desirability, status, value, etc.

 

CHEAP.

 

Ah.

 

The Citroen fucking Xsara fucking Picasso is also cheap.

 

But that's just shit.

 

I haven't thought this through, have I?

 

Erm...

 

[rocks backwards & forwards in chair, sucking thumb]

[Justin Case]

A car that is even less fashionable than its owner*

 

 

*This may possibly also be a good definition of a shiter.

[beko1987]

I dont count my car as shite because it works well! And none of my neighbors have turned their nose up at it, wether happening upon me removing the interior, having the exhaust off twice or hearing it rattle into life in the morning.

 

Could it be shite because it is the OLDEST (I checked, there is another L reg on the company parking books, but it's a LHD camper van thats newer than mine) car in the entire car park at work! It's the oldest car I see around at home too.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Sorry....

 

The zx is a great car and will be a classic in time. It is not shit it is a fantastic blend of everything you would want from a car.

 

But it is proper autoshite. It is almost worthless, undesirable to the general public and has no classic status whatsoever

 

This is not an insult, I have a 23 year old xantia

[AlabamaShrimp]

I honestly don't think I can define what's shite or what a shitter is as really is so many things each a bit different but all in the same area.

 

Cars that were once common that have disappeared. fixing a car no matter what. It dosent matter that it's worth* this or that, you want to fix it so you do.

 

We don't really have "spec envy" a Base model is just as good (sometime even better) than top spec, and if it's a crap colour even better.

 

All in all we appreciate our cars as they are our cars, sod if others don't like them, so you as you do then that's all that matters.

[FakeConcern]

What makes shite shite ???

My mitsi Sigma 3 litre V6 manual box , bought after a night on the pop , wanted a cheap small van ended up with a massive thirsty tank of an estate ......with a minor idling niggle , but it was cheap with long mot , 4 new tyres , just been serviced and £75 quids worth of juice in the tank .... Never seen one before agreed to buy it without seeing it first .....went to collect it with thoughts like OMG what have I done , its gonna cost a bomb to fix etc etc. ...

What a surprise I had , no rust , everything working , engine sweet as a nut .... I've had it about 4 years now , what has it cost me to fix ..... 1 part worn tyre and about 2 litres of oil both of which I already had !!!! What a shitbitch of a motor !!! My mate says I'm a jammy shit ! Can't think why !

It does still have a slight idling issue but I forgive her , no bitches are perfect , I was gonna treat her to a wash and cutback of the paintwork then a polish , I made it as far as winning a polisher off shitebay and giving her a pressure wash .... the polisher remains unused so the paintwork is as flat as shit .

On a more serious note , have any fellow Autoshitters ever seen one or know where another one is because according to " how manyleft.co.uk my Sigma estate is the last one on a 96 plate on the road and I think there is only 2 or 3 other years models left as well so any help finding spares would be greatly appreciated ,

After spending ages typing this I hope it goes online ok !!!

Need to go for a manualshite and a bath now I'm knackered .

Any Autoshitters in Sussex ?

Cheers

 

I am in East Sussex.