2015 shite quote thread

[Bucketeer]

I popped my roflcopter cherry to this gem from the selfie king, posted in the thread with old pictures of Newcastle city centre.

http://autoshite.com/topic/21654-grey-st-newcastle-chod-through-time/?do=findComment&comment=818363

 

I must have thrown up clinging to at least 1 of those lamp posts

My best m8, Mr Tickle, managed to cling to 2 - flash bastard!

TS

[vulgalour]

Oh that is lovely, enough torque to pull a house down, but not enough power to outrun the falling brickwork.

[Alan_Green]

Autoshite.  The only place on the planet where a Rolls owner invites a Bentley owner to a meeting with the promise of half-price vouchers.

http://autoshite.com/topic/21734-bentley-turbo-r-uber-shite/page-2 

[DVee8]

Station in the On-line dating thread over on the other side said.

 

Never had that problem, as rarely had a car then.

However, crashing a Granada hearse through the front window covered in Swastikas would've been better than my first proper girlfriend's father walking in on me going all Hungry Hippos on his daugher's rude bits on the living room floor.

 

 

LOLOLOLOLO

[anonymous user]

ruffgeezer on his ZX

 

well I say paintwork, what I really mean is at some point in it's life it has been driven through a puddle of silver paint and some stuck,

[Pillock]

 

they forgot how to use headlights over summer so just spastically flail their hands at switches on the dashboard until they see some kind of light emitted from the front of the car

 

[cms206]

That is class, a German telling a Yorkshireman in Spanish how to fix a French car.

 

Fuck you, ISIS, you hear me? FUCK YOU!

[anonymous user]

Joey Spud on his dad's french microcar

 

It seemed to use 80% of its engine power to vibrate the dash board and the rest to propel it down the road.

[Craig the Princess]

Two pack is extremely dangerous stuff, Mr. Shakur is no longer with us merely from being named after it.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The Bo11ox Laguna thread is full of fun...

 

Replacing the buttons in the keycard sounds like a faff.  I'm sure an easier solution would be to transfer the components into something more sturdy, such as a Quality Street tin, then rig up a couple of 13A light switches on the outside.  Such a thing would be rugged, unlikely to be lost and would be great for starting conversations with women ("Why yes, I am starting my car with a tin of sweets").  Maybe put a 3rd switch on it, labelled "FFS just work!" which you can mash furiously when the inevitable happens.

 ...and an existential crisis or two

 

Terrifying innit. I'm fuggin 40 now and the Mk2 laguna is packing out the scrapyards. We'll all soon be dead :-)