The Autoshite Lending Library

[Guest Breadvan72]

The offer for sale of a full set of spankworthy Jalopy magazines set me to thinking that we ought to establish an Autoshite lending library, equipped with a full set of Jalopy, various Haynes Manuals full of LIEZ, 1960s-70s Brooke Bond PG Tips car sticker collection books, a few tattered copies of Speed and Power, and assorted brochures for beige carpeting.  

 

If we put in for a Lottery grant, maybe we could spring for a particularly loathsome and scabrous Leyland van converted from a Pox Clinic Ambulance to act as a mobile library, staffed by some gap toothed kiddy fiddler with fragments of pot noodle in his beard.   

 

Do we have a plan?

[derskine]

any1 got renault 18 haynes swap 4 volvo 340 haynes

[mercrocker]

What about a  pinned WANTED thread for shite-lit.   My local  council tip has literally a shed load of HBOLs - mostly house clearance tat prised  from cold hard fingers of old giffers who never want to  relinquish their chod and probably owned Corollas, Ladas and other such beigery....

[Partridge]

[Ratdat]

any1 got renault 18 haynes swap 4 volvo 340 haynes

 

I think I might have a genuine Renault service manual for an R18.

[CortinaDave]

Derskine- I spotted a R18 Haynes in a charity shop in Banchory recently - want me to grab you it if it's still there ?(doubt there's been a stampede for it)

[mercrocker]

I haz 2 books which I can post for £5 each (most of which will be the postage)...

 

OSPREY AutoHistory MK1 Cortina  by

Beaulieu Book of the Beetle (quite good this one as it was written pre-SCEENE so is very short  on pineapples...) by Hans O. Neubauer

More details PM me 

 

Both books are in  good condition with original d/js and only fault is the Corty one somebody has written Happy Chrizmas or similar.

[derskine]

If you're out that way sometime I would certainly much appreciate that!

I think the haynes manual would provide more info than the service manual?

[Guest Breadvan72]

The Librarian we advertised for....

 

 

 

The Librarian we got ...

 

 

[Ratdat]

If you're out that way sometime I would certainly much appreciate that!

I think the haynes manual would provide more info than the service manual?

Really? I'm not talking about a handbook you know!

[derskine]

I think I might have a genuine Renault service manual for an R18.

 

Nah, the only reason I was saying was I've got a service manual for the cortina but I find the haynes manual to be much more useful, though that could be manufacturer specific.

Just had a quick google and it looks alot bigger than the one I have for the cortina.

[Ratdat]

It's two volumes and the mechanical one is about 40mm thick.

 

[derskine]

Yeah, that looks a great deal better than my originl perception.

If you're wanting to sell I'll gladly oblige as I'm currently using an online one that I can't save/print.

[Ratdat]

PM me your address and I'll find out the postage. You can have it for nowt providing you offer it back on here if you sell the motor (unless you sell it to another shiter of course!)

[Justin Case]

Due to an unfortunate error in lending out the Bedford HBOL, the mobile library service has been temporarily suspended. However Autoshite Holidays can now provide you with desirable accommodation with all the reading matter that you could ever want:

[derskine]

If you're out that way sometime I would certainly much appreciate that!

I think the haynes manual would provide more info than the service manual?

 

Scratch that, think I'm sorted with ratdats one, cheers anyway though!

[Guest Breadvan72]

There is a set of jalopies doing the rounds.

They were offered for sale at £15 + £5 postage on the condition that they only trade here at that price.

They've been through four or five pairs of hands in the last couple of years.

I think the postage may have to go up though.

 

 

Can I have a go pliz?  These are not the 100 quid ones advertised elsewhere on the forum are they?  I assume that is a different set.

[ruffgeezer]

I've a selection of late 70s porn mags I found under the floorboards when rewiring my house.

 

Idea for those into the natural look, or perhaps gardening.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I've a selection of late 70s porn mags I found under the floorboards when rewiring my house.

 

Idea for those into the natural look, or perhaps gardening.

 

 

A visit from the Porn Fairy!  At least the scud mags won't be all damp like those copies of Razzle that the Porn Fairy used to leave behind the shrubbery in the park.

 

The only thing that I found under the floorboards of my house were assorted murdered dudes, which was a disappointment as I had been hoping for some coins. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Get on the bus, Gus!

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/9227-jalopy-magazines-for-sale/page-2

 

It's actually £25 plus postage and Meschersmitt Owner has them at the moment with Lobster next in line.

 

 

Muy especial gracias muchos! Ai yi yi !

[vulgalour]

Locally there was a Derbyshire Council mobile library in their livery of faded orange-pink with a gigantic D on the side in faded lilac-blue.  Strangely, this livery wasn't comprehensively pogweaseled but appeared to be designed to look knackered from new.  As a child, I had an irrational desire to own and drive the local mobile library thus liveried, a desire I had forgotten until the reading of this thread.

 

So, if anyone wants a driver for the mobile library whose license probably* lets him drive said vehicle I'm your man.

 

The modern livery is a bit rubbish.

[barefoot]

I have a copy of 'nuts about motoring' a car magazine written by women for women.

It is absolute shite and never made it beyond issue one

I suspect that i will eventually sell it to an annuity company to fund my pension.

[Squire_Dawson]

Cool idea.

 

Could even have an International section where the workshop manuals in other languages belong, like a ZAZ-968 in Cyrillics.

 

Reference section could include titles such as 'How to Bodge a Car in 10 Days'  by G. Affer-Tape, and 'Three Easy Steps to Sell a Second-hand Auto' by S.C. Arper.

[gary_davidson]

The only thing that I found under the floorboards of my house were assorted murdered dudes, which was a disappointment as I had been hoping for some coins.

 

The only thing i found under my floorboards was some mouse shit and some very dodgy wiring

 

Great idea about sharing books, I have a vision of a portaloo at shitfest '14 with a wonky shelf over loaded with beige books

[FredTransit]

I can do you a 1990 Cargo based mobile library called Gloria, stocked with 70s/80s Custard Cart including topless ladies.......

[minolman]

I picked up a cheap book froma 2nd hand shop motoring section last week. "Women also do it" by the wife of a 60s motoring writer and illustrated by a Punch cartoonist. Most hilarious advice for women drivers at the time.

[eddyramrod]

I can do you a 1990 Cargo based mobile library called Gloria, stocked with 70s/80s Custard Cart including topless ladies.......

 There y'go, there's the answer.  Autoshite already has a fully-equipped and suitably-shite library!  Trust Fred!

[FredTransit]

thanks eddie. Has a kitchenette too so can put the kettle on.

[eddyramrod]

I'm on the way, shall I bring cream cakes?

[FredTransit]

oh yes. Seriously Gloria will be on the move soon as we have to move the yard so will get some pics. There is one in the 90s section of me website. Shes seriously ugly......