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Dear Dreardrie....


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Posted

THIS....

1234172_175511099303802_2062502755_n.jpg

appeared in my neighbours driveway, am I wrong to get excited ant take sly photographs? I am worried I may be some  sort of prevert.

 

Yours - Micrashed

  • Like 2
Posted

No, it is perfectly appropriate behaviour, however, I would worry if this was to progress further to say, licking the van perhaps. Then that would be classed as right fucking weirdy pervy stuff - ICD: F99.9. You are normal'ish at this point.

Posted

Its not wrong to have these feelings.

Its only wrong to share them with others via the internets.

Posted

Dear B. Wildered,

 

it's perfectly normal behaviour for a man of your age. Just remember it's fine to look occasionally, but what will you do if you look at the windows and it's all wet and soapy, hey? And it starts feeling that 206 up a bit. Nothing heavy at first, maybe just 'accidentally' rubbing it's bumper a bit then before you know it a couple of litres of veg oil up it's flume and the fingers come out. Oh God, it feels so good and yet so wrong, but you just can't stop. And it's reciprocal, the Peugeot turns round and kisses you full on. That's it, you dive in: fumbling, fondling, groping, feeling and before you know it you're LEZZING IT UP. Yeah, go on, stick your tongue, all the way, mmmm I like that.

Then afterwards just roll over, leave her on her damp patch, all sticky and sweaty and smelling of Spry Crisp-n-Dry, and leave in the morning. Just quietly Hiab yourself off and go to Africa.

Leave her with her bastard love child and don't look back.

Posted

just as long as we dont have to see photos of gails tits again

Posted

Yeah, for this to be a Dear Deadrie, some 4 pinter (not good enough for page 3 but broke and willing to get into some sexy undies) really needs to get their kit off for no apparent reason and 'I wonder why my husband is always taking photos of old cars, is he having an affair?'. 

 

mmdeidrecopy_zps22890c6b.jpg

Posted

Carpet fitters van, you're clearly a repressed rug muncher.

Posted

From the online comments section -

"Many's the time I've been banging away at a rough old Escort for hours on end. Mind you, you don't have to wait long for something to come off in your hand" -C Ortina, Truro.

"That's nothing mate, I had a steamy fling on a cross-channel ferry with a cheeky little Frenchie called Xsara. Panel gaps so wide it was like flinging your spanner into the garage. Now I seem to be leaking funny smelling fluid, and my rear hatch has gone crusty. Doctor or coachworks? Pls help!" - R O'ver, Dunstable

  • Like 3
Posted

That would be her big sister, Xantia then. God she went down easy...

Posted

tailpipe_man1.jpg

Posted

If Tayne sees that you have posted that picture of him again he is going to be livid.

Posted

No way, its not him is it - its all over the interweb if you search sex with cars. OMFG.

Posted

It's not our Tayne, it's Justin Fletcher doing 'Something Special'.

 

 

There, that'll fuck the CBeebies search engine up good and proper.

  • Like 2
Posted

unfortunately edward misunderstood this sign for the local gay cruising site

sign+with+two+people+having+sex+against+

 

with hilarious results, as site regular dave watched

 

ezlaq8.jpg

Posted

It's not our Tayne, it's Justin Fletcher doing 'Something Special'.

 

 

There, that'll fuck the CBeebies search engine up good and proper.

I'm just wondering how mister tumble would sign "bloke  shagging a range rover". 

Posted

I'm wondering if the sign for 'Come Outside' covers rogering Rangies too.

Posted

Dear Dredgerie

 

I purchased a pressure washer yesterday and preceeded to wash my cars and clean the drive despite persistant rain whilst carrying out said jetted water activities.

 

Am I a complete utter mongtard or just a dappy fuckwit?

 

I'm also having "impure thoughts" regarding a work colleague who is 26years my junior -  am I a prevert or mearly a half arsed paedo?

Posted

Dear Dredgerie

 

I'm also having "impure thoughts" regarding a work colleague who is 26years my junior - am I a prevert or mearly a half arsed paedo?

I believe the rule is half your age plus seven years,.

  • Like 1

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