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Dear Dreardrie....


Micrashed
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Dear B. Wildered,

 

it's perfectly normal behaviour for a man of your age. Just remember it's fine to look occasionally, but what will you do if you look at the windows and it's all wet and soapy, hey? And it starts feeling that 206 up a bit. Nothing heavy at first, maybe just 'accidentally' rubbing it's bumper a bit then before you know it a couple of litres of veg oil up it's flume and the fingers come out. Oh God, it feels so good and yet so wrong, but you just can't stop. And it's reciprocal, the Peugeot turns round and kisses you full on. That's it, you dive in: fumbling, fondling, groping, feeling and before you know it you're LEZZING IT UP. Yeah, go on, stick your tongue, all the way, mmmm I like that.

Then afterwards just roll over, leave her on her damp patch, all sticky and sweaty and smelling of Spry Crisp-n-Dry, and leave in the morning. Just quietly Hiab yourself off and go to Africa.

Leave her with her bastard love child and don't look back.

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Yeah, for this to be a Dear Deadrie, some 4 pinter (not good enough for page 3 but broke and willing to get into some sexy undies) really needs to get their kit off for no apparent reason and 'I wonder why my husband is always taking photos of old cars, is he having an affair?'. 

 

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From the online comments section -

"Many's the time I've been banging away at a rough old Escort for hours on end. Mind you, you don't have to wait long for something to come off in your hand" -C Ortina, Truro.

"That's nothing mate, I had a steamy fling on a cross-channel ferry with a cheeky little Frenchie called Xsara. Panel gaps so wide it was like flinging your spanner into the garage. Now I seem to be leaking funny smelling fluid, and my rear hatch has gone crusty. Doctor or coachworks? Pls help!" - R O'ver, Dunstable

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Dear Dredgerie

 

I purchased a pressure washer yesterday and preceeded to wash my cars and clean the drive despite persistant rain whilst carrying out said jetted water activities.

 

Am I a complete utter mongtard or just a dappy fuckwit?

 

I'm also having "impure thoughts" regarding a work colleague who is 26years my junior -  am I a prevert or mearly a half arsed paedo?

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