Awful American car suggestions

[Station]

I've had a proper good run of reliable, rapid, unusual cars that have never really let me down in the past ten years or so and I'm looking to buck that trend by possibly buying an awful American car, possibly from the 70s or 80s and possibly with an ancient, iron engine that could consume more fuel than a tanker, yet would put out more power than a 9v motor.

My searches for mercury or oldsmobile had me looking at muscle cars that were 5 figures.

I'm looking for something with

v8 or even a wheezy old v6 clogged down with twenty catalytic converters with a maximum of 120bhp

An interior that looks like my nans living room circa 1968

Preferably a red/green or brown interior

Seats must have those little fabric buttons all over them

Front bumpers that are five foot long

Auto box

Suspension with about three foot of 'bound' which must still be 'rebounding' even if I've came out of the corner twenty minutes ago

 

Bonus is a spare tyre mounted in the rear bumper, special edition badging that claims its a 'sport' edition model, and knackered air con.

 

Any suggestions?

[Station]

Added bonus points would be my mother looking on in horror as I attempt to park it on their driveway, and unlimited points if it backfires from the exhaust like that old Beetle in the Liverpool 'sitcom' Bread.

 

There was an old thread on here from a while ago on this topic but can't find it.

[gary_davidson]

is this what you're looking for

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1990-Cadillac-Seville-4-5L-V8-TAX-and-MOT-Drive-away-Low-mileage-/300930961764?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item4610e21164

[Station]

Oh JEEZIS that's horrible! The seats! )))

I think that's the same model Seinfeld bought his dad in the episode 'The Cadillac'.

 

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cadillac

 

Lol at claim of people nearly crashing into the car!!

[gary_davidson]

I think this beats it though

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1994-Ford-Other-LINCOLN-LIMO-SHERIFF-/111018633294?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item19d939e84e

[Wilko220]

Never been very into American cars - but I still haven't quite got out of my system the desire to have a Plymouth Valiant one day, just so I can pretend to be in Duel...

[Station]

Not that into the last one as it assumes I'll be using it as an advertising/failed film prop business (hence the price tag), and it wouldn't get me banned from using the work car park (not that it would fit). I also don't reckon it would resemble the first ten seconds of a bouncy castle full of energetic children on turning the wheel (which should have at least 45 degrees of play).

[gary_davidson]

but just think how pissed off your mother in law would be

 

failing that, this is only £600

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/1991-chrysler-le-baron-convertible-american-classic-project/1023295457#photo-content

[purplebargeken]

I rather like the first one. It's  only slightly tasteless, has leather AND buttons on the seats.

[Spiny Norman]

Surprising how expensive the really cheesy 70s & 80s stuff is nowadays.

Here's an '87 Seville, moderately horrible, with a microscopic (by Yank standards) V8 that has a few EML issues for two grand.

 

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C38717

[Station]

Yes they are very expensive, maybe because a vastly superior yet much cheaper 5 series doesn't have the 'charm' these things have!

[Spiny Norman]

I suspect this is more what you had in mind, but it ain't cheap.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Chrysler-New-Yorker-Brougham-2-door-Coupe-/230947626301?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item35c58d1d3d

 

[Junkman]

Problem is that what you are looking for is increasingly hard to come by for the small coin. I'm afraid you are ten years too late, really.

 

However, there is this:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lincoln-Towncar-1992-4-6-V8-SOHC-Ford-Signature-Series-/181180155067?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item2a2f2dc4bb

[Disco Fever]

Problem is that what you are looking for is increasingly hard to come by for the small coin. I'm afraid you are ten years too late, really.

 

However, there is this:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lincoln-Towncar-1992-4-6-V8-SOHC-Ford-Signature-Series-/181180155067?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item2a2f2dc4bb

 

 

Problem is that what you are looking for is increasingly hard to come by for the small coin. I'm afraid you are ten years too late, really.

 

However, there is this:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lincoln-Towncar-1992-4-6-V8-SOHC-Ford-Signature-Series-/181180155067?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item2a2f2dc4bb

 

Tell you what, I like this seller's Swiss style abode, ample parking and sit on lawnmower driving lifestyle. But what's that lurking in the background?

 

[406V6]

Here's an '87 Seville, moderately horrible, with a microscopic (by Yank standards) V8

Back in 88 I had one of these in Colorado as a hire car for a weekend. It was brand new when I picked it up. Very nice car to drive. Full of American character but by late 80s standards which lost much of the chintz and terrible roadability of the 70s models.

[Station]

That Saville looks really nice - dash lights are a bit vague though?

[John F]

Tell you what, I like this seller's Swiss style abode, ample parking and sit on lawnmower driving lifestyle. But what's that lurking in the background?

 

 

Is it a Cav Mk 3?

[Junkman]

Benz of some sort innit?

[rml2345]

I say Benz too. W202 C-Class?

[Junkman]

How smack full of Win is this?
 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1981-Chevrolet-Caprice-/321169232997

 


Holy shit is this shite, or what.

[mk1_4dr]

This time last year I had the perfect car for you, a car you have essentially described, however it was sold last year to a Polish chap who'd travelled up from Coventry. It's either long dead as an engine donor or wafting around Poland like some sort of down at heal gangster.

 

 

[hauserplenty]

If I may: I suggest that you don't buy a Cadillac with a 4.1L mill. It can't get out of its own way. The 4.5 and 4.9 were much better. Dippys/Fifthlomats were cool, and basically unloved 'round this way. But Caddys are all pimpin', never slippin'. Strait gangsta! BMW once slagged 'em off in an ad by saying that their cars were for people who "want to feel the road...not just...the upholstery!" Touche...

[Partridge]

I suspect this is more what you had in mind, but it ain't cheap.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Chrysler-New-Yorker-Brougham-2-door-Coupe-/230947626301?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item35c58d1d3d

 

That looks as comfy as buggery. Bet it’s deceptively good on a long journey-forgetting fuel for a second. Shame they didn’t do a Bluemotion.

[skattrd]

I'd say don't do it. Buy an S-class instrad

[Junkman]

BMW once slagged 'em off in an ad by saying that their cars were for drug lords who "want to feel the road...not just...the upholstery!" Touche...

 

EFA

[Sigmund Fraud]

I've always wanted to sample one of those hideous American cars from the '80s.

 

However, there seems to be a 'scene' driving their prices up to ridiculous levels. So I'll have to make do with vastly inferior* Swedish imitations.

[Junkman]

I wonder what the reason for not more Oz cars being imported is.

 

They have all the awful attributes of yank cars, but are slightly more sensibly sized and have the steering wheel where it belongs.

What's not to like?

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

How smack full of Win is this?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1981-Chevrolet-Caprice-/321169232997

 

 

Holy shit is this shite, or what.

I am in love with this thing. It's RHD, which is great, the fuel, temp and economy gauges are hilariously inefficient uses of space without being more readable, it has COMFORTRON and a clock which looks like it was stolen from a broken teasmaid. Sublime.

[Sigmund Fraud]

I wonder what the reason for not more Oz cars being imported is.

 

They have all the awful attributes of yank cars, but are slightly more sensibly sized and have the steering wheel where it belongs.

What's not to like?

 

I suspect one of the major reasons behind the 'coolness' and desirability of American shite is that the Hollywood movies that most of us have been brought up with are jam packed with the things.

 

Oz shite, on the other hand, are obscure because the only Australian car that people remember is Mad Max's 'Interceptor'. No importer would bother bringing cars over from Oz, because the market would be really, really small.

 

Having said that, there were some brilliant cars produced down under, as can be seen by the following example :

[Junkman]

Yeah, you're probably right with your reasoning.

However, there could be a market niche hidden out there somewhere.

At least a few entrepreneural chod dealers might be able to carve out a living,

seeing the prices achieved once a 'roo barge does indeed make it to these shores.

 

P76 has been high up on my shopping list for ages.

 

I guess an Oz chod thread wouldn't hurt, no?