Autoshite lexicon

[CreepingJesus]

Turdis, The: might be blue and British, but doesn't have to be, it's a master of disguise. Unlike its' cousin - Doctor Who's Tardis - the Turdis doesn't get unexpectedly spacious once you're in: its' deceptively short list of faults spread out in front of you exponentially, until you're screaming at it and randomly slapping controls, possibly hurtling into a hitherto unknown dimension. The only certainties with the Turdis are that you'll you'll spend a lot of time ripping bits out of it, and the monsters : attractive assistants ratio isnt favourable.

[Snookey]

Alfa mail - a stream of communications vainly attempting to claim against an anti-corrosion warranty.

[RoverFolkUs]

Invacar - a vehicle manufacturer of vintage small blue motor vehicles, not to be confused with another manufacturer with a similar* name who produce modern mobility aid equipment. 

[egg]

20p in handbrake doesn't feature? Can a long termer add the origin story?

[vulgalour]

It involved a Peugeot.  I don't remember the specifics beyond that.

[catsinthewelder]

It was a white 405 1.6 saloon.  Turned up on the tat thread with no MOT but will pass easily if a few minor faults (such as 20p removing from the handbrake mech) were fixed.

Kept being relisted with an increasingly angry description.  Caused much amusement on here and theory's on how much it was costing him in listing fees.

[abir246]

Can someone help me pinpoint FTP? I've seen it in a few threads but can only relate it to breakdown/french.

 

Many thanks!

[Mrs6C]

  On 06/02/2024 at 14:14, abir246 said:

Can someone help me pinpoint FTP? I've seen it in a few threads but can only relate it to breakdown/french.

 

Many thanks!

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FTP = Failure to Proceed

It can be applied to a breakdown also.

[abir246]

  On 06/02/2024 at 16:15, Mrs6C said:

FTP = Failure to Proceed

It can be applied to a breakdown also.

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Many thanks! Given what I currently have I'll be using FTP a lot 😭

[chaseracer]

It originated in documentation for chauffeurs from Rolls-Royce.  A gentleman's carriage never breaks down, though it may - occasionally - 'fail to proceed'.

[abir246]

  On 06/02/2024 at 20:21, chaseracer said:

It originated in documentation for chauffeurs from Rolls-Royce.  A gentleman's carriage never breaks down, though it may - occasionally - 'fail to proceed'.

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Very cool to learn that, many thanks!

[eddyramrod]

HFM:  often shown as HFM???????.  Acronym for How Fucking Much?  Usually seen in either Ebay or Shite In Miniature threads as a comment on ambitious pricing of something for sale.