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2013 Autoshite Quote Thread


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Posted

Cannot, or should not?

I figure it doesn't matter in the slightest. I'm sure there's loads of guys as well who just can't understand why anyone would want to drive dismal shite like a beige Princess, instead of some VAG TDI on £300 a month finance.

Posted

Another gem from inconsisistatatant in reply to Oh-man 5s not knowing what a Miler Cycle was:

 

 

 

10/10 but did have to guess the Mazda. never even heard of a miller cycle

 

 

WindyWithTricycle__.JPG

 

Can you imagine Miller cycling his little cycle to make a Mazda Xedos engine work  :lol:

Posted

Tagorasx purchases a 40 year old mothballed car with no brakes and another car's engine fitted by goodness only knows who sight unseen over the phone.

Against all odds,
 

This one has turned into a right ball ache.

  • Like 3
Posted

One from RWUK

 

I bought Tesco Value Corn Flakes once but threw them away after the first mouthful. It tasted like they were working in reverse, actually exctracting flavour from my mouth.

Posted

It means you couldn't visit the dentist on the 19th because the 19th is taken up with a hilarious quote comparing a Nissan Navara to smallpox or something. 

Posted

MrDuke is on fire tonight, he's on fire tonight......

 

 

'NORMFEST' conjures up an image of 150 silver vectras and mondeos in a field, while the office-dwelling owners sip decaff tea and stare awkwardly at each other's M&S ties.

 

He is quite wrong though, 'NORMFEST' conjures an image of a field of modded American racing Capri's and talks with an American dude about world politics.

  • Like 5
Posted

 

 

He is quite wrong though, 'NORMFEST' conjures an image of a field of modded American racing Capri's and talks with an American dude about world politics.

 

Surely NORMFEST will have several hundred of these....

 

norm_cheers.jpg

 

...in a field, probably looking baffled and demanding beer.

Posted

Think BMW should change their name to crabs, they're fun to get but a right twat get shut of.

Posted

"I'd rather shit on my hands and clap than own a soul less Euro shitbox thats value drops faster than the local whores knickers"

Posted

From the "Autoshite Dreams" thread: 

 

warren t claim, on 28 Nov 2013 - 5:33 PM, said:

A recent dream had me delivering timber to a bunch of Jews hiding from the Nazis, I delivered the wood and then helped them by stitching in a repair panel on their Capri Laser. 

 

 

:-D

Posted

It occured to me some time ago that I should send DVLA a monthly letter containing a drawing of a cock, saving proof of postings to use whenever I get the inevitable fine for whatever bit of missing paperwork but there's no need.

  • Like 4
Posted

Barefoot:

 

This place is something else.

Thursday - My lad's just fucked his 147

Friday - 147 for sale.          

Posted

Today's journey went rather more smoothly, and was memorable for the fact that I got my first ever ride in a Pacer.  It was just as dreadful as I'd hoped - slow, noisy, uncomfortable, rattly, bouncy.  Proper trainshite.  Made my day.

Posted

Brown is without doubt the best colour for interiors.

Posted

I had an extra aerial but it was never fitted properly - the cable ran from the back of the unit, round the dash, along the sills, under the back seat, up the D pillar and across the top of the rear window - there was a little box thing that was supposed to stick to the glass with the aerial part on the other side, but I lost the glue and just left if hanging for two years.

Posted

...window looks like the bathroom of a Rhyl pensioner's bungalow

$_12.JPG

Posted

If they'd made a commercial version of the VdP and a special edition signed by an Irish singer it could have been the Van the Man Van den Plas Van.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

That's the thing about Autoshite, whether your budget is £200 or £200,000 there's still a car out there for you which would be more interesting than a new lease drab-mobile to impress the neighbours.

  • 2 weeks later...

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