Autoshite Quote of the Year

[explosive-cabbage]

Cavette wrote:

If I wrapped my COCK AND BOLLOCKS in cellophane and painted my big fat arse orange it'd be 'individual' but just like that heap of third rate, third divison toss no fucker would want to see it.

 

This made me ROFL.

[Ross_K]

How many VW camper vans are pre 1960? I suspect we will see a few dead hipsters in the next few years after they have fallen through the floor on their rotten ONG RATLUK shitbox.

 

[Albert Ross]

Cavette wrote:

It's actually difficult to tell what he's typed into the description as the last time I saw writing skills like this was when my 18 month old daughter threw a bowl of Alphabetti Spaghetti at the kitchen wall.

 

You fucking legend.... now I need to go and clean the carpet..............

[lancashireclamper]

R9UKE made me rofl out loud with;

Fucking hell. You'd be safer staying over at Dennis Nilsen's than driving that

[Cavcraft]

Autofive:

 

'Let he who is without a lambs wool roller and 50 pence worth of matt black cast the first stone.'

 

[RedSparrow]

Autofive:

 

'Let he who is without a lambs wool roller and 50 pence worth of matt black cast the first stone.'

 

 

This should replace 'your motoring is our concern' on the site's banner I recon.

[254575]

this made me laugh....

 

 

Idiotboy wrote:

 

If you ever want to know what owning a DS is like, wake up each hour during the night to set fire to £200

[254575]

this made me laugh....

 

 

Idiotboy wrote:

 

If you ever want to know what owning a DS is like, wake up each hour during the night to set fire to £200

[vulgalour]

When I first opened the shining red bonnet to gaze at the beautiful Lancia (erm FIAT) engine I found it framed with beige paint...the automotive equivalent of lifting a skirt and finding a hairy bollock poking out the side of tight panties.

[vulgalour]

When I first opened the shining red bonnet to gaze at the beautiful Lancia (erm FIAT) engine I found it framed with beige paint...the automotive equivalent of lifting a skirt and finding a hairy bollock poking out the side of tight panties.

[Craig the Princess]

so needed wheels ASAP. Picked up a purple 58k mile '93 Carina E auto yesterday. I'll be running around in my Merc Vito breakdown van, so the Carina is more shopping/teenager friendly.

[Craig the Princess]

so needed wheels ASAP. Picked up a purple 58k mile '93 Carina E auto yesterday. I'll be running around in my Merc Vito breakdown van, so the Carina is more shopping/teenager friendly.

[DSdriver]

The biggest problem I've had is trying to remember which gear has no synchromesh in which car...

[DSdriver]

The biggest problem I've had is trying to remember which gear has no synchromesh in which car...

[philibusmo]

Nothing beats the day when I came down to my old Beetle which didn't lock and found a whole tramp asleep in the back seat though.

I asked him if he wanted to go to Shettleston and he told me to fuck off, so I made him get out.

 

Amused me greatly.

[philibusmo]

Nothing beats the day when I came down to my old Beetle which didn't lock and found a whole tramp asleep in the back seat though.

I asked him if he wanted to go to Shettleston and he told me to fuck off, so I made him get out.

 

Amused me greatly.

[M'coli]

^^^ This wins. Shettleston is so bad that I agree with the Harry Ramp, no free lift would get me to go there!

[M'coli]

^^^ This wins. Shettleston is so bad that I agree with the Harry Ramp, no free lift would get me to go there!

[CreepingJesus]

It does win, and the thought of it's kept me smiling all day. Just not necessarily for the reason above...!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Made me smile:

 

One day I was told off by my then partner because we were having a dinner party and the house was full of my car.

[Craig the Princess]

"theres a problem with the earth"

 

[Ross_K]

I replaced it with Lanky Tims Audi which is known as Auschwitz as its big, white, German and runs on gas.

[ashmicro]

This fella types like an explosion in a Babelfish factory

 

 

I'm pinching that one Billy!

[vulgalour]

In truth though from my first Allegro drive yesterday, I was quite impressed by it. It felt solid...like a potato.

[Wilko220]

...Or equally

 

Your Allegro is one foxy potato, top purchase

 

.

[Wilko220]

I found that properly interesting, amazing to see how a car company operated behind the iron curtain back in the day. Must have been pretty tricky to get set up to make it in the first place, interviewing the big cheeses of FSO. To be honest though I was disappointed they didn't crash the FSO into the Yugo and drop a skip full of cabbage soup on the wreckage whilst making jokes about queueing for a loaf of bread. Now that would have been PISS FUNNY.

 

[explosive-cabbage]

Peter wrote:

I don't know exactly how EuroNCAP pedestrian safety ratings work, but I imagine running into someone with your chrome eyelids would look and feel like taking the first scoop out of a new box of ice cream.

[catsinthewelder]

You HAVE to save this Mr B.

 

CRY MIG FOR ENGLAND, HARRY, AND ST ISSIGONIS!

[CreepingJesus]

Easiest way to solve this would be to sell it to scooters,it would be fucked within a week.

 

I winced, dried my teeth a little, then literally LOL'd out loud. I can laugh, 'cos I'm not much better...

[KruJoe]

"Dear neighbours,

 

Tough shit.

 

Regards

Mash"