Factoids.

[cobblers]

Danny Dyer is actually more aerodynamic at the back, than the front.

 

Please produce a book of Danny Dyer facts. or at least a wikipedia page.

[Cavcraft]

Don't. Danny Dyer is well tasty and has a tidy firm who will mug you right off, you muggy mugster.

[Guest]

Danny Dyer's window will pop out if you jack him up incorrectly.

[barrett]

I heard Danny Dyer is longer on one side than on the other, can anyone confirm this?

[Richard]

Danny Dyer has a square steering wheel.

[Guest]

Danny Dyer was so unsuccessful on launch, it was rumoured they were going to bring the Cortina back, but it was unfounded - he later became a great sales success.

[Station]

Danny Dyer must not be run above 3000 'cockney wan'kah's per minute for the first 5 minutes of operation or his 'rock 'ard geezer' gasket will blow.

A fairly well know one this; several parts are interchangeable between Richard Bacon and all of the 'Mock The Week' cast, including the 'Humour reducing flange', the 'talent resistor', and the 'dog shit inverter' parts. They are common models due to the fact they are of low price and extremely cheap quality.

[Richard]

Can I interrupt this thread to ask a serious question?

 

Who or what the fuck is Danny Dyer?

[Station]

 

Faux cockney hard man who has featured in numerous shit British gangster films and features in numerous shit programmes about gangsters and hard men. Possibly gay.

[Richard]

Ah, a poor man's Ross Kemp.

[scaryoldcortina]

Danny Dyer is prone to exploding if rear-ended at anything above walking pace.

[wuvvum]

Danny Dyer is prone to exploding if rear-ended at anything above walking pace.

Best one yet.

[autofive]

Can I interrupt this thread to ask a serious question?

 

Who or what the fuck is Danny Dyer?

 

Danny dyer's real name is actually danny dire - he was recalled by the manufacturer after problems were found with his 'norf an sarf' causing excessive bollocks to be broadcast on channel 4

[pogweasel]

The french for Danny Dyer is Danny Dyer.

[Station]

The first 'press' version of Danny Dyer that was used for magazine reviewers (in 1978) suffered from terrible understeer - due to the not yet fully developed 'jellied eels' that were installed on early models. A writer for German car magazine "AútoDanke" lost control of Danny Dyer at a meagre 15mph on the Leyland Test Track and Dyer was written off.

[cobblers]

Reports of Danny Dyer's feet falling off all the time turned out to be due to technicians assuming that his shoes were of a previous design (worn by the preceding model of cockey wanker) and massively overtightening his laces, causing catastrophic failiure of the ankle.

[cms206]

Danny Dyer has more factoids than Chuck Norris. FHACKED!

[The Moog]

Operating Danny Dyers "FACKIN AVE IT " horn after 7 pm in a built up area is a road traffic offence and an affront to moral dignity everywhere

[gearoil]

Advancing the ignition timing on a Danny Dyer is achived by punching it square in the face...

 

Dutton once produced an eight wheel burger van based on the chassis of a Scammell Routeman called the Danny Dyer. Advertising was purely through a black & white ad in the back of 'Cargo Handling Monthly'...

 

Front wheel bearings on a Danny Dyer need torqued up to infinity twice fortnightly with any Whitworth socket. (left hand thread)

[pogweasel]

Applying full steering lock to danny dyer may under certain circumstances cause the cambelt to snap.

[Negative Creep]

Danny Dyer performs better the closer its proximity to the sound of Bow-Bell. It also shares internal parts with the Fiat Tipo

[scaryoldcortina]

In a group test for "Auto Express" Danny Dyer was found to be underpowered for his size, and despite the hard looks was slow and had a tendency to roll over when cornered.

[autofive]

...and he doesnt shitting in the woods

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAmQw_hN4iY

[Pete-M]

Danny Dire is not available in beige.

[M'coli]

There has been too much bandwidth wasted on someone who doesn't deserve it.

 

A german preparation firm could get more power from the Metro 6r4 than the factory could, and make them last longer too.

[MrDuke]

Danny Dyer was the target for extreme ridicule on his original release, mainly due to his rear seats not being designed to fold down, thus seriously limiting his potential as a decent-sized workhorse. This was to permanently damage sales, as no-one would buy the ugly fucker for his looks alone. Eventually, he was only available in selected eastern European countries, and produced under license in west Africa up until the mid-90s.

The makers of Danny Dyer are rumoured to be working on a new, 'modern' 'sporty' 'coupe' which will rival the StreetKa in terms of all-out performance, but as yet they have failed to secure an investor, despite offering blowjobs to Lord Sugar and half of the Dragons.

Fortunately for fans of Danny Dyer, most people have forgotten who he is, and see him as a quirky oddity. Therefore being seen driving him in public no longer carries the social stigma that it once did. Unfortunately for Danny Dyer, there are virtually no spares left for him in the UK, and he will soon vanish from our roads forever. The cnut.

[MrDuke]

A german preparation firm could get more power from the Metro 6r4 than the factory could, and make them last longer too.

 

 

Wouldn't have been Zakspeed by any chance? Who iirc got stupendous amounts of power from a 1.4 Capri (albeit with a turbo attached)

[Alexg]

BMW sold Rover to Danny Dyer for an Ayrton Senna

[CreepingJesus]

The proposed upgrades for the Danny Dyer will only make it fatter, uglier and less competent than it already is. An Autocar scoop exclusive can reveal next week. For what it's worth, the Danny Dyer looks the way it does, because it is magnetically attracted to charging head first into iron railings, even at a standstill. And the Danny Dyer is more aerodynamic in reverse, than going forwards.

Soon the Danny Dyer will develop a slight sentience, due to the fitment of Android technology, Google its' own name, and turn up on Autoshite, engaging its' 'chimp behaviour' module.

[M'coli]

A german preparation firm could get more power from the Metro 6r4 than the factory could, and make them last longer too.

 

 

Wouldn't have been Zakspeed by any chance? Who iirc got stupendous amounts of power from a 1.4 Capri (albeit with a turbo attached)

No, I believe it wasn't - Zakspeed were excellent at turbocharging and at the time were building their own F1 engine and car, but this bunch got more power out of the homologated Group B engine, so naturally aspirated.