'They all do that mate'-and they do.

[Cavcraft]

It's that sinking feeling when the shite you've just purchased starts showing signs of FAIL. The one where you call the vendor getting ready to blow your top and then you get the 'they all do that mate' comment.

 

Had it on an (expensive) Poojot 405 (1.9 pezzer) I bought from a garage which very shortly afterwards went all headgasket failure lookalike on me. Called the garage 'common thing mate, it's condensation and we can't and won't fix it' so I'm mightily pissed off until I went into a Peugeot dealers I knew who confirmed this was true.

There must have been loads of 'they all do that mate' faults on loads of different cars and it's actually true. Got any to share?

[Station]

K-series?

[Timewaster]

K-series?

 

I think he meant odd little foibles or design flaws like MK2 Polos having no discernable brakes despite being as VW intended, Or 205GTis that hunt and kangaroo in traffic.

 

K series that appear fucked really are fucked!

[Guest]

All Citroen C4s:

 

Crack their central brake light cover if you slam the boot,

 

Have misaligned top door rubbers (trust me, the next time you see a 5 door C4, check the N\S front door, I guarantee the rubber won't sit right and will look crap).

 

Break the glovebox lid off,

 

Wear their track rods out at 30,000 miles,

 

Have wheels no garage can balance properly.

 

All Amazons:

 

Snap their window chains because of a STUPID design,

 

Have misaligned boot lids because they were hand fettled at the factory and won't fit another Amazon unless you fiddle with them,

 

Inevitably have a broken plastic handbrake ring because your shoe twats the fly off handbrake when getting out.

 

Will shash the connnection up twixt horn switch and horn push because of general design gayness.

 

All 306s:

 

Eventually burn their clock illumination out and the local cock garage destroys the bottom dashboard trying to get them out (all you do is pop the section out by pulling the cig lighter element out and slippin your finger under one side to unclip it).

 

Have electric front windows that bugger up because the connecting cable twixt body and door stretches when opened and closed too much. They work perfectly if you open the door and hit the switch.

 

All Piazzas:

 

Destroy their fuel gauge sender,

 

Have back axles that are unfeasibly attractive to Chevette \ Manta owners.

 

All Kas (and indeed any other Valencia engined Ford):

Snap the third spark plug off in the head because of unanticipated electroylsis

 

Have stupid 'self adjusting' tappets that don't.

 

Sound like a sewing machine going for a jog.

 

All 1.9 TDI Golfs:

 

Are driven psychotically by tossers who want to move you over even if you're doing 90 down a country road in the pissing rain.

 

Here endeth my experiences.

[Station]

Fords in the year 90's:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rocket88]

All XJ40 models have door handles made from chocolate. The temperature gauge never works on 80's/90's Fords. All 306's seem to have a leaky heater matrix. All big block Chevys eat rear tyres [although this is not a design fault..............]

[dieselnutjob]

all 607s are totally knackered

2.2 HDIs snap cambelts

the auto transmissions peg out

the manual transmissions eat dual mass flywheels

the particular filters block

the motors that control the heater flaps go mad

windows pack up

the multifunctions displays loose most of their lines/pixels

alarms that go off all the time

crank pulleys that knock (like all HDIs)

sagging exhaust because there aren't enough mounting points

tyre pressure sensors that leak

[retro80sboy]

good shout on the Mondeo bumpers! may as well be made out of cheese.

 

Ford Capris -

 

Parcel shelf always breaks/falls to bits

 

Heaters pack up

 

Dash always cracks.

 

Metros -

 

back arches always rust to bits.

[pompei]

Great Mondeo observation!

 

Fiat 500 (the original)

all leak

all suffer from fuel vaporisation

all burn out condensers in a few hundred miles

all need timing readjusting in a few thousand miles

all put a smile on the face (except in circumstances above)

 

Honda CRX

All rot on rear arches and sunroof

 

Alfa 156

All need oil checking twice a day

All need cambelts and variators every other week (despite which, seriously thinking of getting one)

 

Mazda 3 & 6

All give me backache and grumpiness

 

1970's Alfa/Fiat/lancia

all are no worse than home produced cars of the period

 

Lexus is/GS/LS

all seem to go forever ....

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

The Ford Scorpio suffers from egg shell bumpers too. I'm glad mine was almost the same colour as gaffer tape.

[ProgRocker]

 

All 1.9 TDI Golfs:

 

Are driven psychotically by tossers who want to move you over even if you're doing 90 down a country road in the pissing rain.

 

Here endeth my experiences.

 

Too right! These 'can't quite afford an Audi' set are probably worse than BMW drivers in general.

 

Re: gaffer taped Mondeo mark 1 bumpers - yes, I have noticed this too. A former neighbour had this issue on her R-reg. Shame really as apart from that, it looked like a good car.

Still on the subject of mark 1 Mondeos - the rear bumpers of estate models seem to constantly hit speed bumps when driving over them!

[AnthonyG]

Montego/aestro plastic bumpers were pretty bad for cracking as well.

[richardthestag]

good shout on the Mondeo bumpers! may as well be made out of cheese.

 

Mine was made out of fine bone china. A parking touch would split it and anything over 5 mph would leave it in a thousand bits all over the road.

[warren t claim]

Mk 3 Scrotes (GL and above), Sierras and the Porsche 924 all have dashboards that like to get cracked-up more than a Birkenhead prostitute when a ships in.

[Angrydicky]

Maestro/Montego - Rotten rear wheelarches, sagging headlining, crap boot struts.

 

Austin A30/35 - Rotten front panel and wing bottoms, leaking master cylinders, knackered shock absorbers, leaking steering boxes resulting in masses of play at the wheel.

 

2CV - Rotten chassis, collapsing seats.

[Lord Sterling]

Rover 2.7 Honda V6 - Sounding like cutlery in a tumble dryer.

 

Later Rover 800 Dashboards -Sufferers of Dash Lift syndrome.

 

Mk1 Rover 800 Beige Dashes - Some seemed to suffer some sort of pimpling all over, though this only seems to have happened to beige coloured ones

[Lankytim]

Belgian built Allegros- All the paint flakes off then they go rusty and fall to bits

[peter9000uk]

Rover 2.7 Honda V6 - Sounding like cutlery in a tumble dryer.

 

Caused by total lack of oil changes by the numerous owners, can be vastly improved by several engine flushes

 

Later Rover 800 Dashboards -Sufferers of Dash Lift syndrome.

 

No more nails and a couple of clamps overnight

 

Mk1 Rover 800 Beige Dashes - Some seemed to suffer some sort of pimpling all over, though this only seems to have happened to beige coloured ones

[wuvvum]

Peugeot 406s - passenger airbag cover peeling off

 

All GM-era Saabs - dying pixels on the info display, and blocked crankcase breathers

 

All pre-GM era Saabs (back to about 1980) - saggy headlining syndrome

 

1256cc Vauxhalls - phantom HGF syndrome as per the 405, caused by condensation in the rocker cover

 

'70s and '80s Volkswagen stuff - mushy brake pedals and a tendency to run hot

[406V6]

Peugeot 406s - passenger airbag cover peeling off

Not on my 406