Bastarding Nissan Juke advert

[blackbird]

Long Live the Bluebird I say!!

 

 

Here , Here !

[Negative Creep]

It lives on as the Bluebird Sylphy (which sounds like some sort of STD)

 

 

[scooters]

what I don't understand is this new obsession with shit pseudo 4x4 'hot hatches' eg@ the BMW X1, the Nissan Puke etc......what is the fuckin point? They are shit to look at, they have zip off road capability, they are tiny, expensive and driven by narcissistic masterbators

[Mr Lobster]

driven by narcissistic masterbators

 

Probably because there are an awful lot of this ^ sort of person about, who 'must' have the latest car and need something that they have been told is cool regardless of whether they need / can afford it.

[scooters]

I hate the last Primera too, lump,gutless ugly crocks of shite. I loved the P10 Primera, especially the fast ones, handled superbly-even spent a big wodge ( the biggest I've ever spent on a car) on one a good few years back. Almeras are also absolute crap in my opinion, and I really got fed up of changing gearboxes in them.. Give me a 120Y anyday.

 

 

I had a P10 Sport + estate - rare as you like and pretty quick - great engine and I liked the handling and the basic ergonomics - well designed, decent car

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

That'd be a P11 or P11U.

[Mash]

Dammit, I saw my first Juke today. I thought I'd be able to go a bit longer than this

[Polystratus]

Dammit, I saw my first Juke today. I thought I'd be able to go a bit longer than this

 

On the road or in a showroom? The less sightings the better.

[Owain-328i]

Car makers are spunking out a lot of toss at the moment. I mean what is the point of these mini SUV's like the Juke? Theres no room in them to use them as a utility vehicle, nor do they have off-road capabilitys, i bet most arnet even 4x4, and theres no power in them so they can be used as a sports vehicle

 

Yet morons continue to buy them

[Mr Lobster]

Most buyers won't give a toss what they can or can't do, as long as they look like they could do it. Possibly.

[CIH]

Since the whole Renault take-over/partnership thing Nissan have been one of the big sucess stories of the past few years....

[Mr H Sceptre]

Nissan sales figures from last 12yrs:

 

Calendar Year Global Sales

1998 2,555,962

1999 2,629,044

2000 2,632,876

2001 2,580,757

2002 2,735,932

2003 2,968,357

2004 3,295,830

2005 3,597,851

2006 3,477,837

2007 3,675,574

2008 3,708,074

2009 3,358,413

 

 

Source: Wikipedia (ergo may not be correct)

[martc]

Since the whole Renault take-over/partnership thing Nissan have been one of the big sucess stories of the past few years....

 

I'm not very good at spotting sarcasm, but I guess that this is it.

 

Once upon a time, Renault had a range of quirky, charming cars with dodgy build quality and "characterful" reliability that appealed to a select, but loyal, few; whilst Nissan made well built, reliable cars but lacking in quirk and charm which attaracted the mass market.

 

And then some suit decided that Renault should tackle the mass market sector and Nissan should become "niche", the outcome was as predictable as Nissans previous collaberation with Alfa Romeo.

 

It's as if they've seen the Koreans coming, with the Chinese on the horizon, and decided to stop taking car production seriously and commit a slow, embarassing and very public suicide

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Renault are a strange company. They have moments of boldness (outgoing Megane - a very good car) followed by absolute porridge (new Megane, Lagooner 3), utter rubbish (That jacked up faux 4x4 Scenic wank chariot and the terrifyingly awful Koleos) and then some mentally fast Sport stuff. Since the era of the Renault 18 they haven't been that great at reliability.

 

Nissan is for old farts and pseudo dickheads who want to make a 'statement' about themselves. Yes, you're a dickhead, and by buying that piece of shit you have informed the whole world.

[morris_ital_lover]

Nissan is for old farts and pseudo dickheads who want to make a 'statement' about themselves. Yes, you're a dickhead, and by buying that piece of shit you have informed the whole world.

 

Never a truer word said about the clientelle of Nissan. As has been mentioned, what do these companies think they are playing at? VW/BMW/Merc and others are busy chruning out a wide range of well built models suited to the market (love'em or loath'em) whereas Nissan/Renault amongst many are the little alternative twats in the corner who manage to pull the odd rabbit out of the hat but... fail to recognise that in 10 years time they'll be getting sweet f all in the way of government subsidies and the chinese will have arrived in style. Every year chinese cars (and indian cars) are getting better and better whereas so many countries' products are stagnating or getting worse, just like the arrival of european/japanese cars destroyed british leyland, so the arrival of the other asian powers' cars will destroy many other countries car manufacturing bases... and probably put the final nail in that long running gag, a.k.a. the american car industry!

 

m0rris

[scaryoldcortina]

I've just been to Asda with Conor, and we saw something in the car park that actually had him speechless (not often that happens).

 

It was a brand new (60 reg) Nissan Cube resplendant in domestic appliance white. He has seen a cube before, but this one was HUUUGE! While he was wandering round it in horror, a tiny woman got in and drove it away.

[Cavcraft]

I think the point about the Chinese is a very good one. Just as we laughed at the 'rusty rubbish' Japanese cars in the seventies we laughed at the shonky Chinese motorbikes/scooters/mini-motos and undoubtably they will just get better.

 

Anyone who buys a car for the badge (which I firmly believe people still do) is an idiot in my humble opinion.

[Rusty Pelican]

Everything is getting overblown , fat and totally anonimous , Id love to go around swapping badges from make to make in a car park just to see if anyone would actually notice ( the badges not me swapping them ) . Years ago you could recognise a motors make by its looks , In some cases i now NEED to read the badge which is sad

[Polystratus]

Everything is getting overblown , fat and totally anonimous , Id love to go around swapping badges from make to make in a car park just to see if anyone would actually notice ( the badges not me swapping them ) . Years ago you could recognise a motors make by its looks , In some cases i now NEED to read the badge which is sad

 

 

VW - Polo and Golf look exactly the same, even the new Scirocco has the same front end design (and the new Astra rear looks similar to the Scirocco's rear). Designers now have to work to a load of EU safety regulations and has to be 'pedestrian' safe hence why cars have got taller and fat.

[Albert Ross]

Perhaps this,

 

 

 

 

Is a merger between this...

 

 

 

 

and this.....

 

 

[ChinaTom]

From an Asian point of view, the Juke is going to rock. It already is as there is a 6 month waiting list for them even in this backwater town. Nissan will sell more here than all of Western Europe put together. All of a sudden, it doesn't really matter about UK - looks to me like they are just hoping to keep the customers they already have and not bother competing. Another strange thing to comprehend is that Renault are by far a more premium brand than Nissan here. Only top of the range cars (V6 Lagunas, RXE+++ Koleos') are available, and they are priced way above the equivalent Nissan. Nissan have really scored a winner with the Tiida. They are as common as the Focus is in UK. We have the Note, but that is a "premium" version of the cheaper Livina and we are treated to a stretch version of that called the Genensis. Some cars are spelled Genesis, the most recent Geniss. The Altima is still very popular too. A Mondeo would be considered far more premium and trendy than an Altea. Fords and Renaults are like we class Audi and M-B.

 

I guess it is a case of cars suiting certain markets - they actually look OK here cruising down the flower lined fluorescent stripped boulevards driven by mid-20's pretty people with fluffy toys lining the back window; and even on the poorer quality county-grade roads where a bit of 4x4 can come in handy. Obviously not so good in Bury St Edmunds though.

[Tayne]

,

[Station]

I keep seeing this advert with that horriblly pathetic, piss-weak song running through it:

 

"Swinkle. Swinkle. Slissle ssars. Sow sI swonder. Swhere you. Sare."

[ChinaTom]

I've seen a few nissan-badged renault Clio saloons here on Chile.

 

Whereabouts are you in Chile? I imagine their version of the John O'Groats to Lands End challenge would be amazing

[Tayne]

.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I keep seeing this advert with that horriblly pathetic, piss-weak song running through it:

 

"Swinkle. Swinkle. Slissle ssars. Sow sI swonder. Swhere you. Sare."

 

That's the bit that sets my teeth on edge. Not just the sight of the gog eyed moron chariot itself, but that bastard song sung by Kate Moss at 6am after a night on crack. It's even worse than that cunt Steve Wright and Scouting For Girls put together - and that is very, very bad.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

 

Anyone who buys a car for the badge (which I firmly believe people still do) is an idiot in my humble opinion.

 

It depends which badge. If you're buying a 30 brand Merc or BMW, you're getting 30 grands worth of car. A V6 Lagooner will not drive anything like as well.

You'd buy a Golf over an Astra because as a new car purchase, the Golf would retain quite a lot more of it's resale value. Is the Golf a better car? Probably not.

I'm renting an Insignia to take the Mrs and her Mum to t'airport on Saturday so I'll be able to tell you on Monday how good/indifferent it is. It won't be bad. Modern cars rarely are these days.

[M'coli]

It's taken me a while to work out what ill-proportioned thing it reminded me of...

[Lord Sterling]

Wow, the Juke does look bad. It appears to have very ill-proportioned lights on the front, so what are the lights by the bonnet for?

[Tayne]

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