Selling a car - annoying statement

[Peter C]

I hate some of the things people put in car ads but the thing that pisses me off the most is this sort of thing:

 

Central locking doesn't work but it was already like that when I got it....

 

Dent in the bonnet but I got it like that.....

 

Can a fault really be dismissed just because the owner claims that it was like that when I got it?

 

Such a stupid thing to say.

[pompei]

I suppose they say that so you're not left with the impression that they are clumsy/ham-fisted/neglectful/uncaring etc.

[cobblers]

Adverts like this annoy me:

No pictures of the car, no mileage or other details, just "T reg fiesta, Three owners from new. Passenger window doesn't work (was like that when I got it) Genuine reason for sale £1295"

 

24 words, two of them useful (and that's including the price as a "word")

 

 

And what is the point of "Genuine reason for sale"

 

Headgasket just about to go? 2 weeks MOT left and you can run your hand from the front of the sill to the back without touching any metal? Both perfectly genuine.

"Mary mother of jesus appeared to me in a dream and told me to sell the car and use the money to buy a skipful of homepathic medicine, dump them into the north sea off a pier and save millions from malaria?"

Again, genuine.

[hennabm]

Can anyone tell me a None genuine reason for sale?

[chaseracer]

"First to see will buy."

 

What...??!

 

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1992-PEUGEOT-205- ... 0583471107

 

+1 for hopeless adverts

[Guest]

To be fair on the 205 seller, he sounds a bit foreign and was probably hurriedly tapping away on his keyboard with his big hairy hands before STEALING OUR JOBS, etc.

[Tayne]

.

[autofive]

To be fair on the 205 seller, he sounds a bit foreign and was probably hurriedly tapping away on his keyboard with his big hairy hands before STEALING OUR JOBS, etc.

looks translated, and his ebay username is andrzejczarny

[Station]

The whole 'quick fix' thing.

 

"Passenger door central locking doesn't work, but looks like a quick fix."

 

Why haven't you fixed it then?!

 

I must say, the most annoying things I've found are ones I actually use myself. "There's a few faults which I'll fix before sale," which means "I don't know whether I'll mess it up, so at least I'll have an excuse when you come and see it."

[scaryoldcortina]

People who write"Here we have..." at the top of an ebay listing, followed closely by people who write ebay ads like they are paying per word. People who have only just discovered what fonts do. People who don't know what CAPS LOCK does. People who put something you want in the paper for money you can afford, but get their own phone number wrong...

 

Actually, people who sell/buy cars annoy me. I'm probably in the wrong business

[eddyramrod]

"First to see will buy."

 

What...??!

 

First to see it might be me, and am I really in the market for whatever shite is being advertised? Chances of me buying it are pretty damn slim, so I've got him on the Trades Description Act right there...

[Guest]

"First to see will buy."

Yeah I hate that one as well. Only true if seller has a gun My Dad went to look at a Humber Sceptre in the late 70's. The advert in the Leicester Mercury said paintwork needs attention. He went to view it and the bodywork was rotten. Nothing there to put paint on

[Spiny Norman]

Some of my favourites...

bought this for the wife but she wanted a ******

In other words you're a have-a-go trader or you didn't notice it smoking like a tramp steamer when you bought it, and you're hoping I won't either...

MOT till end of month but will fly through next one...

Really boils my piss, that one. MOT it then dipshit.

remember it's a 15 year old car so expect the odd slight scrape

It's four inches longer on one side than it is on the other...

no timewasters

See "First to see will buy"......

[Lankytim]

"No MOT but will fly straight through"

 

Why dont you just MOT it then??

[ashmicro]

MOT prepared is another crock

 

Just Serviced - usually a lie

 

Was in xxxxx magazine in 1995

 

Low mileage for year. If it's a 20 year old Nova on 90k it'll still be fucked regardless of the yearly average*

 

Top end bottom end and back end all ok - for a FWD

 

 

 

*Novas were all factory-fucked anyway.

[binhoker668]

My all time most hated one.

In the Main description:

L@@K!!!!SHITTY CAR L@@K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are 'AT' symbols, not the letter 'O'.

Therefore it makes no sense and I don't understand you.

You fucking futile mouth breathing cretin.

etc.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

"Cambelt has been changed" on cars with chain or gear driven camshafts.

[Station]

"No MOT but will fly straight through"

No doubt when the tester does the brakes and it flies over the test plates and out through the back wall.

[Guest]

Just Serviced - usually a lie

To be fair, I sold my old Cuore as "just serviced" and the 626 is the same. For what it costs to do it, I figure I might as well. If anyone ever wanted to question it, I could show them the fresh oil on the dipstick, clean air filter, shiny spark plugs, etc. Seems daft to have the buyer in the dark about something I can easily prove.

[oldford]

That Peugeot on e bay seems like a bargain, it must be new as it says 0 orevious owners. How the e bay listings can detail the number of previous owners is beyond me, the log book lists the number of previous keepers who might not have been the owners. It can be viewed as a mis description and a reason for not completing the auction.

 

Two more phrases that are true with any car:

 

Immaculate when new.

 

Unique registration number.

[Cavcraft]

'Had a cam belt recently' and no receipt or proof offered.

 

'Had a recon engine' and no proof or receipt offered.

[pogweasel]

The 'lumping together' of significant and inconsequential faults.

E.G.

bad points

rear electric window doesn't work

scratch on bumper

needs new headgasket

Cheers. A sticky window and car-park-biffed extremity were hardly worth mentioning if the engine has been boiled to death, is full of salad cream and the whole lot is now rendered only of use for recycling into washing machines.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'd rather be told about that lot than not told!!!

[Alexg]

No Time Wasters. Shit, I was going to come round and poke the floor with a screwdriver for half and hour with no intention of buying...

 

Was owned by **famous person here** I think the worst I saw was a Renault 25 advertised as owned by the Dad of Big Brother winner Kate Lawler

[Pillock]

I've been to look at a few cars with "NO TIMEWASTERS" only to find out the seller is a complete knob-munching timewaster himself where the car isn't ready for sale. Tells you after a test drive and successful haggling that you can't have the car for three weeks as his mate is borrowing it at the moment, or the V5 isn't back yet, or he needs it for work. BAI!!

 

And "No test pilots". Firstly, it's not a plane and secondly, if I'm serious about buying your car and I'm insured then I want to drive it in a way that will expose faults. If I can't take it over 50mph then I'm just going to assume every bush, every bearing and the entire braking system is fooked.

[DCLane]

Was owned by **famous person here**

This works though. I sold a car once owned by a Radio 1 DJ, now on Radio 2. The start price was low and I got two members of their fan club trying to out-bid each other

 

What was wierd was that the winning bidder wanted me to deliver the car (no problem), but when I got there they insisted on showing me their collection of cars - all of which had been owned by this DJ

[Richard]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3YUlcyPXLo

[Alexg]

Cheap on petrol, it only costs £30 to fill up!!!! that just means you have a small tank you fool [/b]

[Lankytim]

Phrase often used in damaged-repairable sales.

 

"Mint pre-accident condition"

 

How useless is that????