sneering load of aspirational bollocks

[chester drawers]

Except that they’re not the World’s slowest and most of the figures are wrong.

 

Another load of old bollocks to make rep man feel justified in driving like a twat every time he encounters something small and more than 3 years old. Who writes this shit?

 

Having completely derided them, there's a helpful link to examples of the cars for sale at the bottom of each page

[trigger]

Must be a slow news day, even the first page of that artical pisses me off "They are so slow in fact that the fastest - yes, the fastest - car in this gallery tops out at a paltry 90mph" which is 20 mph over the national speed limit.

 

What 18 year old twat faced cock end writes this shite?

[MrRegieRitmo]

Since when has 90mph been not fast enough for a country with no Autobahns?! If you're going flat out in the fast lane & holding anybody up at that speed then you should both be pulled over!

Basically this whole article is suggesting that everybody should be speeding.....or do we all own private test tracks??

 

 

EDIT: and incidentally, I haven't been right through the list but I would expect any of the cars I've read about so far to sail right past me when I'm in the R9. The only things I normally overtake are milkfloats & tractors, even the juggernauts leave me for dead!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Calm down FFS, this is MSN, no-one ever reads it or takes any notice of it.

[M'coli]

None of the cars are as slow as their website!

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

...and of course there's the usual sad lefty twat ('molehusband') who lambasts anyone who exceeds the 70 limit due to a bereavement.

 

Shame it wasn't yours you po faced dickhead.

[wuvvum]

There's a comment from somebody called "dockertrigger" who sounds vaguely familiar...

[wuvvum]

...and of course there's the usual sad lefty twat ('molehusband') who lambasts anyone who exceeds the 70 limit due to a bereavement.

He also uses "whom" incorrectly, which really winds me up as people who do that are invariably trying to make themselves sound cleverer than they are.

[trigger]

There's a comment from somebody called "dockertrigger" who sounds vaguely familiar...

I wonder who that could be?

[Marshall]

Even if this wasnt total bollocks, at the end of the day is it really a suprise that small cars with small engines, which were not originally designed for performance, are quite slow? And does this mean they are shit? I think not!

[Guest]

Calm down FFS, this is MSN, no-one ever reads it or takes any notice of it.

I agree with this point, by looking at this toss we're only doing their lousy writers a favour.

 

I like how the whinge for the Daihatsu Move only being able to do 79mph is accompanied by a picture of the Japan-only Move SR. Possibly one of the most ridiculous "sleeper" cars of all time, with a 4cyl twincam turbo engine that can break 100mph. Nice one boys!

[Mr Lobster]

There was an agreement on here ages ago that nobody would link MSN / Yahoo 'motoring' articles due to the basic inane shit content contained within.

 

Might be time to reintroduce that agreement...

[garethj]

small cars with small engines, which were not originally designed for performance, are quite slow

Indeed. Watch out for next week's MSN shock list, where Tuesday will follow Monday, followed by Wednesday, followed by....

[cobblers]

I like how the whinge for the Daihatsu Move only being able to do 79mph is accompanied by a picture of the Japan-only Move SR. Possibly one of the most ridiculous "sleeper" cars of all time, with a 4cyl twincam turbo engine that can break 100mph. Nice one boys!

Same goes for the 106 1.4 Diesel. They look like this

Whereas they seem to have put up a photo of a European spec Series 2 106 Rallye. Which is by all accounts quite a nippy car.

 

That was as far as I could get into this crap. It's obviously written by one of those cunts like your girlfriend's brother, in her words "He likes cars too, you'll get on great!". He's probably got a 3rd class degree in English from some polytechnic and drives a 1 Series on HP from his new build "executive apartment" (meaning small flat with laminate flooring, expensive door handles and an Ikea settee) to work every morning, wearing a topman suit, listening to Chris Moyles on radio one or whatever dullard is on these days.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It's obviously written by one of those cunts like your girlfriend's brother, in her words "He likes cars too, you'll get on great!". He's probably got a 3rd class degree in English from some polytechnic and drives a 1 Series on HP from his new build "executive apartment" (meaning small flat with laminate flooring, expensive door handles and an Ikea settee) to work every morning, wearing a topman suit, listening to Chris Moyles on radio one or whatever dullard is on these days.

Your profile analysis is incomplete. Twat also has a Scouting For Girls CD borrowed from his G/F called Lucinda who he drops off every morning at Wenker, Turdos and Jones Estate Agents but not before she nips into Starbucks for a Super Skinny Latte Frothochino.

[Milford Cubicle]

Well exactly, what is a slow car in a country with speed limits?

Most people would think an old diesel with 80bhp like my Cavalier the slowest car evar, but it still manages to sit all day at highly illegal speeds.

[cobblers]

That's a point actually. The amount of people I have to overtake on country lanes while driving my mums rusty Ka is depressing. It's got an engine designed about 50 years before the wheel, Tyres designed and made a decade before the vulcanization of rubber was invented and brake disks like wavy washers, but I've never caused anyone on any road a hindrance.

[Polystratus]

Just look at the future classics list (Which includes a BMW X6) tells you what sort of quality motoring writers they use (Not!), but these 'top 50' lists seem to be written by the same twerp, best ignored and laughed at.

[Station]

Here's the editorial team:

 

 

The word 'Pistonheads' and 'Jeremy Clarkson for PM' springs to mind. I'd love a crack at this, I reckon I could write something 100 times better than these, the motoring press has moved on zilch since the 70's.

 

http://cars.uk.msn.com/about-us/about-us.aspx

[pompei]

Zora Suleman is bonny.

[CreepingJesus]

They left this guy's pic off the team...

...he's a TIGER, and no Panda's gonna get in his way!

[oldford]

I drove a 1.2 Nova, it was absolutely flat out at an indicated 75mph. It did go a little faster when I changed up into third gear.

[Formula Autos]

Who writes this shit?

The world's slowest motoring journalist?

[Rocket88]

The only one amongst that lot worth reading is James Ruppert. The rest make Mike Brewer look moderatley [sic] bright............

[Father Ted]

I feel proud to have owned rather a lot of those cars during my time.

[Tayne]

.

[Milford Cubicle]

To be fair, that uglycars website has some new and expensive stuff on it too.

[Tayne]

.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Here's the editorial team:

 

 

The word 'Pistonheads'.......

........means that they are a bunch of wankers in true Pistonheads style. Just look at them FFS.

 

The Citroen DS is, to my eyes, a fucking horrible looking thing. I am probably the only person in the world who thinks that. Sorry, the 18/22 is a much better looking vehicle but oddly, they don't have lefty weirdo Guardianista fawning all over them. Most odd.

[eddyramrod]

When you say 18/22, Rev, I do hope you mean the wedge, not the Landcrab. I had two wedges, and I think they were on the verge of being a good car. Yes, they were hampered by their elderly engineering, but so was the DS and you hardly ever read a review that says so. I congratulate Citroen's styling department for being 20 years ahead of their time; the rest of the industry couldn't get near until the SD1, which was brave of Rover. Doesn't mean I'd buy a DS though. I save my blind fawning for Detroit...