The Xantia of Not Many Shitters

[Rust Collector]

3 minutes ago, purplebargeken said:

So... do we prod the tester with pitchforks then burn him?

I’ll sort the brakes out, on the retest point out the handbrake is on the front axle and argue the toss again over the emissions as it sounds like they should really sort that/it should pass the retest anyway. It’s a shame as I’ve used them for years and put lots of cars through for tickets there and had no problems, it’s Sod’s law it’s difficult on this one.

[omegod]

An Italian tune up would help push the cataclean through the cat, it's probably still sucking shite fuel through

[Rust Collector]

1 minute ago, omegod said:

An Italian tune up would help push the cataclean through the cat, it's probably still sucking shite fuel through

Italian protocol has been followed at all times when running the car today 😅 Considering it’s an in-line 4 it does sound surprisingly throaty, I was pleasantly surprised.

[RoverFolkUs]

48 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

For my own curiosity I had to put it in my own handbrake test area* up at the farm

*disclaimer: this is not a scientific test.

50 kgf my arse 😆 - the handbrake just needs to resemble some sort of anchorage effort to pass the MOT! Doesn't even need to lock up!

Get the engine red hot before the retest and I'm sure it will be fine, it's clearly capable of passing hence the 2nd fast test result. I presume he just didn't get it up to temperature enough, fan cutting in doesn't mean a lot on anything French, their fans always like to cut in early and it doesn't mean it's necessarily up to temperature 

If it's manual (?) then don't use 4th or 5th gear on the way there and take a detour.. always works for me!

This is a classic example of why testers need to stay awake during the annual refresher! I count myself lucky that our tame tester(s) are up to speed 99% of the time, at the end of the day they're all only human though!

[purplebargeken]

John, the PO always felt that it was not a slow car at all. I remember now... the owner prior to John was described as a 'large gentleman'. 

Yeah, getting the lovely full fat pez and Cataclean running through its metallic veins is a good thing.

[Bren]

The failure list is not too bad. And there is no rot - lots of these look ok up top but the inner and outer sills can get crispy indeed.

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, Rust Collector said:

I drove it home the long way, to be honest now that the niggles like a lack of lights and indicators, the sagging headline and electrical quirks have been sorted it’s actually quite an enjoyable car to drive. Once the brakes are sorted and the seat back rest tightened up I think it’ll be a really pleasant thing to drive around in.

High n over?

[RoverFolkUs]

Just don't break the bloody rev counter again this time trying to give it an Italian tune up 😂

[purplebargeken]

Am sure the rev counter will be treated with all due reverence*.

[Rust Collector]

I've left the uncoiled paper clip in the car for future use, so we can now safely* rev to 10,000rpm without worry.

[purplebargeken]

Citroen special tool part number #0007654399-77PC.

[purplebargeken]

Sorry... CP, cos French.

[CaptainBoom]

It sounds like good progress is being made with the fail list. CaptainBoom’s Novelty Transportation service is still available to waft this gently northwards if needed. I’ve got a work colleague who has a job in Knowsley which if I can coordinate things, he’d give me a lift back home. His taste in music is shit though, so four hours of speed garage and house music looms in the future!

[purplebargeken]

I had to endure the Worzels all the way from Devon to Enfield. It was played constantly by the local recovery driver.

Don't tell oi, tell eee still makes me twitch even now.

[purplebargeken]

Am sure that we can organize something appropriate between the three of us.  That's a fab offer without a doubt

[purplebargeken]

I would love to see the expression on the testers face when he is told he had tested the wrong end. Am such a kid lol.

[gadgetgricey]

10 minutes ago, purplebargeken said:

I would love to see the expression on the testers face when he is told he had tested the wrong end. Am such a kid lol.

Just tell him you could not fix the ones on the back, so swapped the hand brake over to the front

[purplebargeken]

🤣🤣🤣

[Andrew353w]

I've come late to this thread, but would just like to add that my Xantia, an earlier one that yours ("M" reg) was simply the most comfortable car I've ever owned. I did over 250,000 miles in it, including numerous trips all over France. Believe me, these cars are built for French Autoroutes and for transporting industrial amounts of wine from French vineyards to England (customs regulations not withstanding!)

I've an off-side fog light unit that's yours for the postage, and a drive shaft (I'll have to check which side) if they're of interest. I fitted air horns and yellow French-style H4 lamps to mine, to give it that "French" look. Mine was an automatic and benefitted from regular ATF changes, so perhaps a gearbox oil change would smooth the changes? I used a firm in Cambridge called Pilades (I think) who are Citroën specialists to change the spheres & L.H.M. when necessary. ALWAYS use the genuine L.H.M., as it really does work better!  

They're truly great cars, with a HUGE range of over 400 miles on a full tank and my automatic returned over 40 M.P.G. on a run. If you need more information on their strange eccentricities, DM me!  

[RoverFolkUs]

Saw a Xantia HBOL at the car boot this morning, picked it up to take a look as it obviously piqued my interest and made me think of this car.. Without asking, he said "fiver that, find another one" 

Err, good luck finding anyone else here in this field that even knows what a Citroen Xantia is let alone want to buy a sodding HBOL for it 😂

Also; liar!

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/314315456220

[Rust Collector]

2 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"fiver that, find another one" 

Little did he know that just 25 miles away there is an exact copy sat on my coffee table. Mine cost £200 though and came packaged in a ZX.

[RoverFolkUs]

9 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

Little did he know that just 25 miles away there is an exact copy sat on my coffee table. Mine cost £200 though and came packaged in a ZX.

Ha, I assume he must have meant "find another at this carboot" unless he seriously thought Xantia HBOLs were rare 😆

But the same could be said about all the other shit people seem to bring! If you can't find another one there's probably a reason!

[High Jetter]

It just reminds me why it's not worth halting a lie-in to go and view overpriced crud.

[Rust Collector]

Time to stop standing around holding my cock and actually do something.

My brother’s mk2 Clio needed the rear wheel bearings replacing, so it seemed like a good time to spend a day up at my parent’s house playing with French stuff.

Once the wheel bearings were replaced on his car and a case of beer had been loaded in the boot of my car, it was time to look at the Xantia.

I got the front end up in the air and got the wheels off. @purplebargeken, I’ve done the searching so you don’t have to… after a long time looking I discovered that the door card has a hidden compartment under the arm rest/grab handle - the locking wheel nut keys live in there apparently.

They weren’t particularly bad but I’ve done my best to clean things up and grease the moving parts. I cleaned the discs up with some sandpaper and the car running in gear. It’s taken the rough shite off.

The pistons were no hassle to wind back in on either side, I’m hoping that’s a sign that they move freely.

I did find this, and I promise it wasn’t me!

The wired to one of the pad sensors was snapped and had been tucked into its bracket…

Ive checked the handbrake cables and the mechanisms on the callipers - they all move freely and actuate the piston in and out with ease. After winding the pistons back whilst greasing the slider and retaining pin, I did the ‘proper’ handbrake adjustment by applying the service brake firmly a few times then pulling the handbrake. The handbrake is now strong enough that you can torque the wheel bolts with it up in the air, and as soon as you release it everything is free enough to turn by hand. Not that it was bad before, but the callipers did bind a bit.

I’d like to think that’s the brakes sorted for now.

On to the seat then.

I was hoping to remove it and bring it home for repair. That plan was ruined by this:

It’s not easy to photo, but someone has been in here before and cut out a connector for the airbag system and soldered the wires back together. To remove the seat I would have to cut these and re-solder them - bugger that.

However, I think I’ve found the problem:

Again, hard to photo, but there’s a torx bolt missing that should attach the seat base to the rail at the front left corner. I think this is what lets the seat rock. I’ll find a bolt and replace it in situ.

I also noticed this:

It was loose and presumably adding to the rocking issue. It’s a bodge repair to a mounting that’s let go. Ken - do you mind if I put another Tec screw into this bracket in an attempt to get it solid enough that it doesn’t cause an issue getting an MOT? I know it’s a bodge, but the only alternative I can think of is take it out and weld a mount in…

All being well I’m aiming to get back to the car tomorrow, fix the seat, test drive it, and get it in for the retest Monday as I think/hope we are still in 10 working days.

[RoverFolkUs]

2 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

Time to stop standing around holding my cock and actually do something.

My brother’s mk2 Clio needed the rear wheel bearings replacing, so it seemed like a good time to spend a day up at my parent’s house playing with French stuff.

Once the wheel bearings were replaced on his car and a case of beer had been loaded in the boot of my car, it was time to look at the Xantia.

I got the front end up in the air and got the wheels off. @purplebargeken, I’ve done the searching so you don’t have to… after a long time looking I discovered that the door card has a hidden compartment under the arm rest/grab handle - the locking wheel nut keys live in there apparently.

They weren’t particularly bad but I’ve done my best to clean things up and grease the moving parts. I cleaned the discs up with some sandpaper and the car running in gear. It’s taken the rough shite off.

The pistons were no hassle to wind back in on either side, I’m hoping that’s a sign that they move freely.

I did find this, and I promise it wasn’t me!

The wired to one of the pad sensors was snapped and had been tucked into its bracket…

Ive checked the handbrake cables and the mechanisms on the callipers - they all move freely and actuate the piston in and out with ease. After winding the pistons back whilst greasing the slider and retaining pin, I did the ‘proper’ handbrake adjustment by applying the service brake firmly a few times then pulling the handbrake. The handbrake is now strong enough that you can torque the wheel bolts with it up in the air, and as soon as you release it everything is free enough to turn by hand. Not that it was bad before, but the callipers did bind a bit.

I’d like to think that’s the brakes sorted for now.

On to the seat then.

I was hoping to remove it and bring it home for repair. That plan was ruined by this:

It’s not easy to photo, but someone has been in here before and cut out a connector for the airbag system and soldered the wires back together. To remove the seat I would have to cut these and re-solder them - bugger that.

However, I think I’ve found the problem:

Again, hard to photo, but there’s a torx bolt missing that should attach the seat base to the rail at the front left corner. I think this is what lets the seat rock. I’ll find a bolt and replace it in situ.

I also noticed this:

It was loose and presumably adding to the rocking issue. It’s a bodge repair to a mounting that’s let go. Ken - do you mind if I put another Tec screw into this bracket in an attempt to get it solid enough that it doesn’t cause an issue getting an MOT? I know it’s a bodge, but the only alternative I can think of is take it out and weld a mount in…

All being well I’m aiming to get back to the car tomorrow, fix the seat, test drive it, and get it in for the retest Monday as I think/hope we are still in 10 working days.

Hope you sorted that imaginary parking brake on the rear axle as well, haha 😆

[Rust Collector]

6 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Hope you sorted that imaginary parking brake on the rear axle as well, haha 😆

Yes*

[RoverFolkUs]

2 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

Yes*

Mint!

[purplebargeken]

Josh, I have no issues with any of that buddy, just immensely grateful for the time and effort that you are putting into the Xantia.  Thank you.

Hopefully it will provide us with the positive news re: an MOT pass.

[Rust Collector]

New bolts added to the frame of the seat, the base is now spot on with no movement:

The back rest still has movement though. A bit more digging found this:

Bugger.

[Rust Collector]

Well, we’ve come this far so we may as well keep going.

That is not an improvised suicide machine, I just needed a third hand to put pressure on the seat back.

Ive blobbed some weld on and it’s better. Not perfect, but better.

After working on the brakes I also noticed the ESP light was illuminated, which made me feel a bit bad as I’d been really careful not to touch any sensors or wiring. I took a quick test drive to see if this would clear after a bit of driving - who knows, maybe it wanted to calibrate itself or something.

Incredibly it did actually sort itself out and the light has cleared. Even better, on starting it up again the light now clears immediately.

This means one thing then.

I’ll be back for you in the morning!

Fingers crossed we are a) still in the retest window and b) they have time to look at it tomorrow.