RichardKs wanderings: Insight or in-stinked? Smokin! (advice request)

[RichardK]

50 minutes ago, Jazoli said:

Re the dpf removal and exhaust how are you planning to get it through its next mot?

Take it where it went for the last one, or fit a DPF and restore the map to original, though I'd be sad to lose the exhaust

[RichardK]

This is a bastard of a job. The EGR cooler just sits in the way of water pump removal and it seemingly /has/ to be removed no matter how cunning you can be 😕

Coolant drained, bolts out, thermostat bolts mostly out in case the thermostat had to come off after all, but nope. Water pump is staying put.

Sick of oil-soaked hands and swearing at BMW's otherwise good engineering - I swear they do this just to make it hard to DIY them.

[Dave_Q]

A 56 plate would pass an MOT with no DPF provided some terrible accident occured to the smoke number on the VIN plate and it was tested to defaults.

[RichardK]

I'll have to look at the VIN plate...

The only time it gets sooty is when booted. And I found a stray vacuum pipe which may contribute to that behaviour...

[Jazoli]

50 minutes ago, Dave_Q said:

A 56 plate would pass an MOT with no DPF provided some terrible accident occured to the smoke number on the VIN plate and it was tested to defaults.

Are you sure about that? as its been removed its a major defect and a failure, I'm just curious

[Dave_Q]

It will pass the smoke test aspect, I meant. I haven't read the thread back to see what Richards exhaust looks like.

If it's obviously had a DPF before and now doesn't then you're right it's a fail. But it depends what it looks like under there and if the system, or parts of it, have been replaced with something that looks "right" and doesn't have obvious welded holes in or DPF sensors hanging there in air then I reckon many testers would give the benefit of the doubt, unless they happen to have an encyclopedic knowledge of X3 OEM exhaust systems.

[J-T]

My 335d had a gutted DPF, I never had an issue with emissions come MOT.

i did the thermostats on that incidentally. I didn’t do the water pump but it did end up failing; I farmed that out as I needed it turned around quick as I was using it for work. They really are a fantastic engine 

[RichardK]

Fuck me, this is a twat of a job on the twin turbo

And it just keeps on giving - one piece gasket with tabs to cut when replacing the pump, sharp as a blade...

But this will go in as a module I think

[RichardK]

And then the water pump and thermostat fell off the bonnet and broke.

EGR coolers and other such bollocks can get in the sea. What a thoroughly stupid, pointlessly horrible job for a simple and essential bit of car maintenance.

[RichardK]

Schrodinger's parts delivery:

Well, the brands and size of boxes look promising

Holy shit, the numbers match!

So... how long has it taken to fit rear dampers? Almost a month?!

Most complex and annoying eight bolts ever.

[RichardK]

Nearly all the parts here - another supplier let me down so I still have no new fuel flap lock, have resorted to a secondhand one as it's the piece stopping me assembling the boot trim.

I hate this pipe:

It's solid and goes around the side of the engine so more removal is even more of a pain in the arse but it is in the way of pump or thermostat.

Making that annoying is that one bolt on the 'stat is blocked by the EGR cooler so I wanted to install pre-assembled and can't.

And the EGR cooler also makes lining the gasket up (no chance of holding bolts in and installing, it always finds a thing to snag on) also difficult, blocking tools and torches alike.

Fuck EGRs and diesel emissions fakery.

But the boot looks nice where it is done...

And I can't wait to feel what this handles like now

[RichardK]

I found where the EGR attaches!

Much easier

[RichardK]

Even with the EGR off it is fighting, because the gasket just can't be held and aligned. What a horrible job.

[RichardK]

Finally. The pump is in after fighting angles, sliding gasket, obstructions and a very sore back...

I'll put the rest back tomorrow. What an absolutely stupid job, just because of pipes and access.

[2flags]

It was probably designed like this, so you take it back to a dealer and get properly shafter when they strip half the car out to change the thing.

[RichardK]

Okay. That's most of the important stuff back where it belongs...

Mostly through a lot of this.

[RichardK]

Still fighting me - who would have thought simple air intake pipes could be designed to be so difficult to refit!

Of course this would all be easier if I had a vehicle lift of some sort.

Oh, yes, I did once.

*sigh* shoulders are killing me now. I really underestimate how horrible modern diesel engines are to work on in terms of sheer muck and clart everywhere too. But everything torqued correctly, and soon - bleed the system rather than the car making me bleed for a while.

[RichardK]

Important:

 

And of course the dampers are done now as well. BMW really do go to some lengths to make the cars awful to work on in simple ways - like the three plastic nuts holding the boot trim on - behind the seat back.

[RichardK]

X3 seems to be keeping fluids where they belong and getting up to temp quickly. Big improvement. In future I'd go:

Air intake pipes down to turbo out

Drain coolant at radiator tap - release EGR bleed screw and expansion cap

Remove EGR cooler - two torx on manifold visible when intake resonator removed, two coolant pipes, three bolts, exhaust clamp

Remove radiator fan

Release aux belt

Remove thermostat housing disconnecting the radiator hose 

Release bolt holding the plastic cooling pipe

Remove water pump

Reassembly is reverse of that but with more swearing at the gasket.

So did anything get fixed today? YES!

I wanted to look at the PT Cruiser control arms, and I'd bought a new Hella ABS sensor since the Frankberg one had thrown codes

It might have been okay if I'd pushed the connector home and done the locking tab up 😂

But now it has a Hella one and is definitely working. Live readout in perfect harmony. This means, bushes aside, the Cruiser is behaving 100%!

As for the bushes - looks easy enough but does involve an anti roll bar and a balljoint. I need to release some bolts with level wheels for an easy life. Two new complete control arms await...

And taxed my latest purchase. Ouch.

[RichardK]

How has this not sold 😕

[RichardK]

A tale of diesel adventures

Note: do not miss turnings and drive through cities. You will not enjoy it.

[GeordieInExile]

Oh God, where did you accidentally drive through? I once went into Peterborough on the way back from collecting a 306 GTi, I only went a little way in but man that was a rough experience.

[RichardK]

3 hours ago, GeordieInExile said:

Oh God, where did you accidentally drive through?

Newcastle. Gateshead. Almost Sunderland 😂

Even so - successful trip home, and many thanks! The handbrake did not magically fix on the way home... but for what I am calling £600 car and £400 handbrake parts that need to be made to work, I cannot complain in the slightest.

Fuel stoppage

More roadworks

Washington Services

Wetherby Services

Just like my old one! Except it had RT4 with maps on a hard disc. Impressive economy as I had to test the spoiler was working.

Still a very attractive profile. I liked them, new, until I owned one that cost tens of thousands. One that costs hundreds is easier to relax with.

That manky numberplate lets it down

And home

Sunset on concave

Manky manky manky

C6ness

Art, deco.

[Schaefft]

I think you might be the perfect person for this to end up with. I'm genuinely interested in seeing how things will develop with it, it's a great spec and could be an excellent example with a few things sorted.

[GeordieInExile]

Yep, this car needs someone with experience and expertise way beyond what I could give it. I hope its issues are sorted, because it really is a lovely thing when it's working properly. Which in my nine months of owning it was about five days. 

[RichardK]

8 hours ago, Schaefft said:

I think you might be the perfect person for this to end up with. I'm genuinely interested in seeing how things will develop with it, it's a great spec and could be an excellent example with a few things sorted.

I take that as a compliment and thankyou - I hope I have the time and funds to do it justice, but I really need the PT Cruiser and Range Rover to depart before I can properly get into it.

The collection thread that never happened - talk about 'fate lining things up'! Obviously I've joked a few times about the car I hate (but clearly remain interested in) getting so cheap I'm tempted on @GeordieInExile's thread (why not the silver one? Because my first C6 was supposed to be black and cream Exclusive with lounge pack, and because the offside front window would annoy me far more than a duff handbrake or EML - though I did scout about for a replacement window out of curiosity). The downward spiral of price, plus knowing how much effort had gone into trying to get the car to behave and the shared experience of 'specialists are mostly shit once you need their specialist skills rather than getting an oil change at a garage with your car brand on the door' meant it finally found a level I could not resist.

At the same time, the car that motivated this sales promotion was with the excellent @ruffgeezer who I haven't seen for ages, and it turns out, had bought a car 10 minutes up the road from me.

No trains. No shenanigans. Just drive from Point A to Point B and collect car!

Since @GeordieInExile is the one holding the baby (literally), I'm happy to do the hours on the road. A beautiful Volvo XC70 (a car I have always found appealing) arrives, and in it. an esteemed AS'er with a Lexia/Diagbox cable! Tea is consumed, then we go to collect the XC70's replacement. Which is, of course, an XC70. One that had I not bought the BMW X3, I'd probably have wanted myself.

I have to rush - hurry up and wait into 30 minute M1 delays it turns out - but stick some V-Power diesel in the Volvo and make my way north. The five-pot sounds lovely and yeah, I had a few moments of wondering if I should have bought something like this instead of the X3 or a C6. The trip computer's claimed 53mpg after a reset and a motorway run is impressive, but so was the 39mpg showing beforehand.

Make it tantalisingly close to a Spanish City, meet @GeordieInExile. pet a cat, wake a baby, insure a C6. Get rained on. Point C6 towards home but forget to set the phone for nav and there's no nav disc in the car (the roads would have changed anyway). Manage to miss the sensible route and instead get stuck for an hour in Newcastle. Bonus moment - the last trips I did in my first C6 were as a sparkling happy professional photographer doing events with the MPA, such as the annual awards in Gateshead, and this C6 made me see those views again.

The sun came out and the lovely caribbean beach under blue skies that is why I am obsessed with the cream interior came to life. The unknown old cheap car in a traffic jam made me nervous for a while (is that whiff of antifreeze mine?!) but damn, the double glazing and refinement is just as good as it was 16 years ago. The suspension has a bit of wear at the front, but it floats down the A1 - if anything the worn nature feels more like the CXs I'm used to.

Overtake something. Giggle at the spoiler playing oeek-a-boo in the rear view mirror. Reset the trip computer at Washington services. It's doing 42 ish mpg; my brand-new one returned 43.5 on proper tyres and less than 20,000 miles of wear. The engine sounds a little muted, slightly off-beat compared with my memory of it, but pulls well and doesn't make any noises that sound too scary. I wonder if the Eolys bottle needs refilling to wake up a DPF regen or something. In heavy traffic the gearbox seemed to remain happy, no clunks or weirdness, which is reassuring.

No lane warning, no cruise control, and of course a mad flashing angry handbrake sign. But i have a Lexia cable, so let's see what I can find out when I get the software working.

It took longer to get home than it ever should have, but I still felt relaxed and in a good mood. This is what I liked about my old C6. I can see that while it's a bit dirty (black cars) and wearing 160,000 miles, it's still a pretty straight old bus. Except that bumper trim. I have no idea what lies beneath, and perhaps it's best not to care too much - just enjoy it as-is for a while.

Sign back in to the C6owners forum after 12 years of absence. ' I would rather sit and burn money than own another one' 

Yeah. Well, at least it's not too much to burn this time...

[GeordieInExile]

I know exactly what you mean about being delayed but still being relaxed, I did Coventry to Newcastle a few times for work and even after M1 rush hour death and the journey taking over 5 hours I would still get home perfectly relaxed and content. 

I'm gonna miss that rear spoiler. As an added bonus, it usually goes back down as well as going up!

[RichardK]

Let's make a start then:

A bit grim under here

A nest of wipers

1.50 part with unsightly glue because PSA probably bought from the OEM 1 more than they made cars, and burned the blueprints 0.001 seconds after the tenth anniversary of the last car being made...

[GeordieInExile]

Just count yourself lucky I replaced the borked coolant pipe and thermostat housing that were also being held together with that same glue. 

[RichardK]

1 hour ago, GeordieInExile said:

Just count yourself lucky I replaced the borked coolant pipe and thermostat housing that were also being held together with that same glue. 

How on earth did they manage that? Why?!

Looking a little better for a scrub...

service position is very useful

And persistent

Dreading polishing this

But looking forward to removing the bumper to get the headlights out for restoration, at which point I'll fix this...

Campervan for scale