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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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mercrocker Rank: Isuzu Florian

mercrocker

Posted
Posted

Here's one of those ads that infrequently boil my piss...

 

Overlook the painted bumpers and whitewalls (if you can) and the forecourt paint job

 

post-5367-0-10697000-1545943999_thumb.jpg

 

 

 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/AUSTIN-A50-SHOW-CLASSIC-car-CUSTOM-A40-A55-Cambridge-A90-Atlantic-A70-Hampshire/382695533923?hash=item591a6e6d63:g:sQ4AAOSwi3xcI8DW

 

 

 

No, its the seven photos of which only one (badly) portrays the vehicle for sale.

 

The rest are irrelevant tosh including a racing car and Japanese licence-built examples.   Keyword spam of almost every Austin variant the vendor could think of (not that many, I'll admit) and a load of blather in the description. 

 

Shame as it probably wasn't a bad car before that fucking horrible paint job. 

 

Oh, and anybody who insinuates that these are easy to maintain should try changing the oil filter on one..... 

 

Verdict - Cobblers.

 

  • somewhatfoolish, Skizzer and Junkman
  • Like 3
MorrisItalSLX Rank: Isuzu Florian

MorrisItalSLX

Posted
Posted

MG Metro Turbo

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Item location: Hazelbrook, NSW, Australia

 

:shock:  :shock:  :shock:

 

If my ankle was not fucked in such a way that made clutch use agony, I would be all over this like a rash.

 

That being said, it is pretty irresistible.

 

https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Mini-MG-Metro-Turbo-1275-Cooper-S-Clubman-GT/153317527564?hash=item23b26fd00c:g:PFoAAOSwlx9cFhgx:rk:1:pf:0&LH_ItemCondition=4

  • Rusty_Rocket, Aston Martin, MarvinsMom and 3 others
  • Like 6
LightBulbFun Rank: Talbot Tagora

LightBulbFun

Posted
Posted

is it possible to adapt some sort of hand clutch?

 

after all Metros where pretty popular motability cars back in the day I think   :mrgreen:

  • MorrisItalSLX and BorniteIdentity
  • Like 2
MorrisItalSLX Rank: Isuzu Florian

MorrisItalSLX

Posted
Posted

I would think the motability cars would have been automatics, but please prove me wrong!

 

I can drive a manual, but I need to ware an ankle brace boot which is very cumbersome and creates its own issues.

  • LightBulbFun
  • Like 1
LightBulbFun Rank: Talbot Tagora

LightBulbFun

Posted
Posted

I would think the motability cars would have been automatics, but please prove me wrong!

 

I can drive a manual, but I need to ware an ankle brace boot which is very cumbersome and creates its own issues.

 

good point... (ill blame the fact its 5:30AM, I woke up at 10PM and that I only got 5 hours of sleep! yay crippling back pains...)

 

how about a big stick to push the clutch pedal with your hand?  :mrgreen:

 

all being said, pre model 70 invalid carriages where manual AFAIK, so they must of had some sort hand operated clutch setup :)

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

 

 

attachicon.gifs-l1600.jpg

 

Fee Fi Fo Fum

 

I smell Rigger Boots.

 

 

And yellow vests?

 

 

Yes.

 

The Oxford's future life will be measured in laps, not years.

 

 

And yellow paint (with a black No45 on it) 

 

 

'Barn'??  Looks like a shitty old garage to me, lol.

 

 

I suspect the oval beckons.........

 

 

 

What bunch of imbeciles has bid that pile of scrap to meanwhile over 700 quid then?

Which bar of gold hidden in plain view am I missing?

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

Here's one of those ads that infrequently boil my piss...

 

Overlook the painted bumpers and whitewalls (if you can) and the forecourt paint job

 

attachicon.gifs-l1600 (1).jpg

 

 

 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/AUSTIN-A50-SHOW-CLASSIC-car-CUSTOM-A40-A55-Cambridge-A90-Atlantic-A70-Hampshire/382695533923?hash=item591a6e6d63:g:sQ4AAOSwi3xcI8DW

 

Evidently you don't spend much time on eBay, since this is one of the better ads you find there. On an eBay scale of 1 - 10 it's a good 7 trending on 8. Read all the others posted here for comparison. Or better don't read them, considering the boiling point of your piss.

 

This ad does allow me to deduce that the heap can be driven to the oval, for example. The sheer amount of ads leaving this point completely unclear is fascinating. Wouldn't you expect the first sentence of any classic car ad tell you whether the car runs, or not?

Wouldn't you expect it to be either "the car does run", or "the car does not run"? Would you not? Am I the only one with this opinion? If I really am, please tell me, what would be the first sentence you expect in a classic car ad? Also, if the car runs, I expect to have qualified in the following sentence whether it can be driven, don't you? The overwhelming majority of ads either do not mention with one word whether a car runs or can be driven, or they bang on how good the car is and then tell you in the last sentence that you need to trailer it away, but fail to give you any reason for that.

 

 

 

On a different note, the term 'barn find' has gone out of fashion. Every old car is now a 'hot rod', including that shagged A50:

 

 

Mild Custom / Hot Rod

 

Where does this come from?

And if it indeed does have something do do with hot rodding that I am missing, then what are the likes of Chip Foose and Rick Dore doing?

mercrocker Rank: Isuzu Florian

mercrocker

Posted
Posted

No, I do not spend much time on Ebay!    Hence piss boiling only infrequently.....

  • The Reverend Bluejeans and Junkman
  • Like 2
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

The fascinating thing about eBay, and the real reason why I spend so much time on it, are not the cars, which are overwhelmingly clapped out wrecks too hanging for even scrapping. It's the mind blowingly daft horseshit people write and the gloriously half arsed photos they deem worthy of taking up bandwith. I also have this total obsession with the surroundings they photograph their rubbish in. How many people in the fifth wealthiest country on the planet carve out an existence on a plot that makes a village in the Democratic Republic of Congo look posh in comparison, and then post photos of it on the internet, is staggering!

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

All of them are shit, mind.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-12-4-i-type-1939-Excellent-project-with-lots-of-work-already-done/223300934166

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

The ad does not mention with one word whether the car is running or not!

 

However,

 

lots of work already done

 

If brushing the front wings with a coat of Hammerite is your concept of 'lots of work', the old car hobby might not be for you.

 

 

Let's move on to what is included in the sale:

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Fucking brilliant.

 

 

 

Want to see the interior, too, to enable you to form an educated estimation of the scope of the work necessary?

 

Okay...

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

 

Now, this is the ad of a company! You are dealing with professionals here!

  • somewhatfoolish and mercrocker
  • Like 2
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

 

barn find

 

 

That's sooooo earlier this year. The term now in fashion is hot rod.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1977-Austin-allegro-barn-find/143068799191

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

He pretty much opens the ad with

 

 

Been sold for full restoration

 

 

He then describes the faults surprisingly detailed. Even if you add them all up, the car merely requires some tidying and is far away from necessitating a full restoration.

 

Then comes this classic:

 

 

I have brought two good replacement Bumbers

 

It made my day before 8am.

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Classic-beetle/323624336399
s-l1600.jpg
 
 



Relisted to an absolute idiot.

 
Well thank you very much.
Despite it's factually correct, you didn't have to rub it in, you Dubber.

 

 

 

i have been driving her around last month. 

Tax and MOT exempt so cheap insurance and she will drive away

 

It shows untaxed since 1994. What would it have taken to tax it? Who is the absolute idiot now?

  • spike60, egg and mercrocker
  • Like 3
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

Pickup Barn Find Project

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Escort-35-Popular-G-Reg-1989-Mk4-Van-Pickup-Barn-Find-Project/303010087942

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Ideal* WBoD.

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Getting very hard to find in this condition

There will not be the day terminally fucked Escort vans are hard to find.

 

 

 

It does run and drive fine  just that all the brakes have been took off all comes with the vehicle  I have tried  starting the engine but it just turns over at the minute

 

Do I understand this correctly? It does run and drive fine without brakes and the engine not firing?

You are the weakest link. Good bye.

spartacus Rank: Renault 16

spartacus

Posted
Posted

Ah Junkman, when I first discovered this site in my darkest days I could rely on your ramblings to make me smile.

You even had your own clickbait tag, 'do not read the ad!' inevitably I would and perhaps discover an entire tome written in CAPITALS, or without the use of any punctuation.

Please carry on, as long as your health and sanity can remain unaffected!

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

Ah Junkman, when I first discovered this site in my darkest days I could rely on your ramblings to make me smile.

You even had your own clickbait tag, 'do not read the ad!' inevitably I would and perhaps discover an entire tome written in CAPITALS, or without the use of any punctuation.

Please carry on, as long as your health and sanity can remain unaffected!

 

 

Thank you so much!

I must say that since I live in the parallel universe of R16 ownership a lot of my long lost sanity returned.

I shall continue to entertain you folks with my trademark lack of air quotes, I promise.

The Reverend Bluejeans Rank: Isuzu Florian

The Reverend Bluejeans

Posted
Posted

What bunch of imbeciles has bid that pile of scrap to meanwhile over 700 quid then?

Which bar of gold hidden in plain view am I missing?

Banger racers. They’ll pay a grand plus for an Oxbridge to destroy.

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