What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Mr Lobster]

People who work in an office and take their annual leave at this time of year are bonkers - roads are clear, it's nice and quiet, nobody rings you. It's my favourite time of year by far, if it was always like this I wouldn't be half as miserable.

Absolutely. I always work between Christmas and New Year - journey to work is much easier and theres nothing much to do when you get here. I've brought the Sprinter in today, that way I can get a few bits of jobs done!!

[Cavcraft]

On a 10-mile trip across the motorway this morning, I saw about three lorries in total. The M62 Eastbound was so quiet that I didn't see a single person using the outside lane!People who work in an office and take their annual leave at this time of year are bonkers - roads are clear, it's nice and quiet, nobody rings you. It's my favourite time of year by far, if it was always like this I wouldn't be half as miserable.

I thought like that, especially as a couple of days we get to piss off early so it seemed pointless booking a full days holiday.This year I wish I had booked the time off though. Been a fugging nightmare and even though I got off early today I've been on the go since 07.00 and it was fucking freezing at the part of the plant I was working at.Anyhow back to happy things:Cavetter Junior has landed himself a job at a garage today. Two days next week on a trial basis and then one or more days a week if he does well, to compliment his college course. He's chuffed and so am I, and secretly hope he gets to work on some shite as well as modern stuff!

[Rusty Pelican]

Great news on cavette junior especially in todays climate , when hes qualified maybe he can fix all your shite for you , a ready made free mechanic , although i bet he will want some dosh .

[Cavcraft]

Great news on cavette junior especially in todays climate , when hes qualified maybe he can fix all your shite for you , a ready made free mechanic , although i bet he will want some dosh .

Cheers, that's the plan. If he does ask for money I'll just remind him of all the times 'Dad's Taxis' bailed him out and the XBOX he will 'pay me back for within a month' he had 12 months ago

[Pete-M]

http://www.freshnews.in/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/emma-bunton.jpg

Dearie me, I'd fuckin' violate that!

[Timewaster]

Nah, Emma Bunton is looking her age lately.

 

Anyway, This makes me Especially M

 

http://www2.b3ta.com/buffyswear/

 

(Probably not worksafe!)

[Hudsonpie]

Yeah shes probably dog rough in the morning.....mind you all the Spice girls are starting to go home a bit.

[55bloke]

Oh, harsh!! We're non of us getting any younger you know!!

[Hudsonpie]

NOOOOO Hud......

Still at least its a step in the right direction.......

[whitevanman]

Aye.... I doubt many of us would be considered a catch by most of the female population

[Cavcraft]

Yeah shes probably dog rough in the morning.....mind you all the Spice girls are starting to go home a bit.

I don't think Victoria ever left then. How the bloody hell anyone can find the pouty faced silly bint attractive is utterly beyond me.

[55bloke]

Aye.... I doubt many of us would be considered a catch by most of the female population

Sad, but true!!

[trigger]

It's Emma Bunton for me everytime, Mind you even that old sort Mel C is pretty fit now she's changed out of that shell suit.

[Milford Cubicle]

I don't know how the ladies say no to a 23 year old 19 stone Peugeot 405 owner with unkempt hair, but they do.

[Hudsonpie]

Aye.... I doubt many of us would be considered a catch by most of the female population

What....? Fuckin fine catch me......

[dollywobbler]

It's Emma Bunton for me everytime, Mind you even that old sort Mel C is pretty fit now she's changed out of that shell suit.

It's true. Wonder where All Saints are now...

[binhoker668]

I just posted my new years feelings on the grump thread.However, I just went downstairs and found a near full bottle of 15% wine on the shelf - left over from xmas day.And then found all the good Newtown Neurotics stuff on Spotify.Evening's looking up.New years can still get fucked tho.Word.Shabba.etc.

[Hudsonpie]

Bugger all on the telly.....Final Destination threes on just at the bit where the two birds get roasted on the sunbeds......that'll teach 'em

[pogweasel]

Do you mean roasted in the premier footballer sense?Or should I keep watching a wonky-eyed bristolian telling jokes?

[Hudsonpie]

Well that was 2009 then....been sat on here all night drinkin beer and talkin shite....brilliant, much better than paying twelve quid to get into some shithole then dancing round the local clock tower kissing twats you dont even know.......roll on some thing more exciting l

[Guest]

2009 can sod off as far as I'm concerned.

[Guest]

Is it 2010 yet?

[Hudsonpie]

Yay it is now....great....

[Cavcraft]

Well that was 2009 then....been sat on here all night drinkin beer and talkin shite....brilliant, much better than paying twelve quid to get into some shithole then dancing round the local clock tower kissing twats you dont even know.......roll on some thing more exciting l

Hey, what time does that start?

[Station]

What a shit decade.

[Guest]

Something has brightened up my evening considerably, so I will share it with my Autoshite "buddies" and we can get off to a good 2010.Out of the blue, I got a phone call from a cousin inviting me to have a drink with him a local pub. Whilst he's under the influence of alcohol I find him a bit of a pain, as he clearly can't hold his drink and starts bothering people that he doesn't even know. In the interests of peacekeeping, I decided to go, but with the caveat that I'd be leaving before midnight to go home.Now, I've never considered myself to be the best around "the ladies", mainly due to a strange sense of humour and the fact that I drive around in beige cars all day. But whilst in his company, I saw the most pathetic attempts at attracting female attention that I went home feeling like Giacomo Casanova.It had to be seen to be believed - rudely intruding on the conversations of people he didn't know, giving cigarettes to three different birds (who abandoned him as soon as they'd finished their smoke) and some of the most pathetic attempts at teasing that I'd ever seen. Some lass drops her phone and he goes "Hur hur, it's turned off now!" and she just stares blankly at him and goes away. He received nothing but contempt for his efforts, with me being the observer of the trainwrecks he generated. In the end, I straightened up my lapels and went off home feeling like a king.Also I didn't try to chat up any birds there because it was a slightly rough pub on a council estate. None of them were very nice. Just thought I'd add that in there.

[pogweasel]

Hirst, if you are going to frequent council estate pubs on NYE, surely it is impossible to leave without getting noshed off by some slapper kneeling in the piss in the gents. It is the law.

[Guest]

I just held it to be honest, it wasn't worth the risk.

[whitevanman]

Hirst, if you are going to frequent council estate pubs on NYE, surely it is impossible to leave without getting noshed off by some slapper kneeling in the piss in the gents. It is the law.

PMSL ........................oh feck I've been in those pubs

[Richard]

So have I, but the slappers never showed any interest in noshing me off.