Shitescan; preservation of fading old newsprint is our concern

[JeeExEll]

 

 

Rev rev, thrash-thrash, scrabble, slide, scorchio-scorchio, rev some more.

[JeeExEll]

Managed 104mph (165kph) velocimax. Becomes a little floaty from 95 (154kph).

 

Power-steering vague at higher speeds.

 

[JeeExEll]

Brakes pulled very slightly to the side after repeated emergency braking at velocimax 165kph.

 

Velour seats nicely blue and comfortable, sadly did not prove very resistant to fag-burns.

 

Ashtray 15 minutos fag-end capacity, mucho overspill.

Air-con vents scatter fag-ash everywhere. Everywhere.

 

New improved door mirrors withstood 3 hard kicks before smashed.

Superiore sturdy but still broken. 2/5.

[JeeExEll]

Overall, on our magic on-board-computer-ometer Taunus 2.3 Ghia S scored 6.3.

 

Here, take your Taunus back. We have finished with it now.

 

Source, "Corsa" magazine, July 1982.

http://www.testdelayer.com.ar/taunusghias.htm?fb_comment_id=10150228982039188_10154518889314188#f16322f488

[JeeExEll]

 

Check this out.

Autopista on Autoshite .

Didn't know such a mag existed.

[JeeExEll]

 

Renault 2 ?

[adw1977]

Renault 2 ?

Looks a bit like a three door version of the Renault 6.

[tobyd]

Someone a while back on this mentioned "How to keep your car alive" by Lindsay Porter. Its quite a good read.

One bit says to empty the ashtray if you smoke a lot of weed and are in the process of selling the car. Pro-tip right there.

Anyway, I happen to have that. It's currently keeping a computer from falling off of another computer so if anyone wants it for preservation let me know and I'll post it.

[chatsharris]

Datsuncog, I'd be interested in a couple of mags namely Issues 3 and 14 if they're still available?

[Datsuncog]

^^^ Yes, for sure - PM coming your way, sir.

[Datsuncog]

All thanks to JeeExEll for his painstaking word-for-word translation of the Argentinian Taunus review! I'd certainly buy one!

Hang on... actually, I owned two... and I can't say I treated them significantly better than our sympathetic* South American testers...

[Datsuncog]

Anyway... here's something which might also be of interest to the sort of weirdos classic print connoisseurs who follow this thread - the third issue of The Classic Motoring Review is just out. That's "out" in a fairly loose sense - you won't find this one on the stands in WH Smith.

http://www.classicmotoringreview.uk/current-issue/

The Classic Motoring Review was mentioned on a thread here last year, but I promptly forgot all about... and then found some mention of Issue 2 on FaceAche, which reminded me again.

I'd dithered for a while, as... well, as someone clinically diagnosed as suffering from Intractable Tightwad Syndrome, the internal monologue ran as follows:

• Cor! It's a tenner an issue! Fark me, I could get a hundred musty back issues of Auto Express from that giant box down the back of the Africa Child Ministries charity shop for that sort of money... or two copies of Craptical Plastics. Or another dead Laguna.
• Hmmm... it seems bang on a lot about 1950s Ferrari and Maserati GP duels; 1920s Bugattis, megabucks Christies Sales cars, gentleman racers, all that tweed-and-seven-figures old bollocks. Nah mate. Not my thing, yeah?

But.... but but but. I liked the idea of a publication that isn't reliant on flogging advertising inches for its survival, and instead was more a of a compendium of motoring tales from across the decades... new writing, reprints of archive material from defunct mags, and just interesting stuff about motoring. By enthusiasts, for enthusiasts - not just the latest venture to swell the profits of MegaPrint Inc by tapping soft-headed old duffers like me for £4.95 a month by dazzling them with sooperHD pics of MGBs photoshopped half to death.

And most of all, temptingly and tantalisingly, I could see it was edited by Mark Williams, one-time Jalopy publisher. And Issue 1 contained an article by erstwhile Joypal luminary Frank Westworth, while Issue 2 promised ruminations from the quill of Rod Ker, the one and only Japloy Editor-in-Chief. Could it be... Jalopy 2 - The Second Coming??? (Spoiler alert: no.) But these very men had railed against the follies of idolising cla**ics, in print, for years. What goes on?

Sooo... crying tears of blood, I realised the only way to find out was to pay up and wait for Royal Mail to do its stuff. After a great deal of prevarication, by the end of February I'd managed to shift a few high-value LPs and, feeling relatively flush for a change, finally stumped up some readies and ordered the first two (and at that point, only) editions of this bijou publication.

And what lovely little things they are. Smooth creamy paper, beautifully typeset and each story adorned with a specially commissioned illustration... but, most gratifyingly for me, the same size as the original Jalopy mag (before it entered the A4 years). So they fit happily on the same shelf (unlike the A4 editions of Japoyl - not that I'm still bitter after 23 years or anything).

And the content. Well... I'll not lie, some articles spoke to me more than others. But that's the same for any magazine, and even true for the diverse threads upon these beige pages, surely? I mean, have a quick look:

http://www.classicmotoringreview.uk/previous-issue/

So we've got... unwise European collection thread-type stories, living with old shite as a daily stories, profiles and interviews with some of the designers behind weird and wonderful cars... even a peep into the timewarp that was the Citroen 2CV factory in Paris, at its point of closure. The Editor recalling a memorable motorway trip in his callow hitch-hiking youth to That London, travelling in a lashed-up Alvis seemingly driven by Terry-Thomas' older brother. A Hillman Imp profile; a first-hand account of an ill-fated attempt to cross the Channel in a Fiesta-based kit car; the trade secrets behind GRP; living with a Lancia Gamma Coupé (spoiler alert: contains rust, unreliabilty and unobtanium parts)... bloody hell, there's actually a lot in here for the hardcore shiteist. Any one of these would make for a lively thread.

Owen Llewellyn's The Southbound Car is a cracking read, the true story of the author and some friends piloting a Daimler from London to Spain through some rather unpromising February weather. What, some hilarious undergrad banger rally japes? Nope, he wrote it in 1907. Engaging, enthralling motoring tales from one hundred and eleven years ago. These are not the kind of archive materials you can just turn up with a Google search.

Yer Man Westworth's real-time account of the sights, sounds and aromas relating to the process of starting and making progress behind the wheel of a Rover P4 was unlike anything I've read; probably because these are long-format articles allowed to take as long as they need to tell the tale - not a story cropped to 800 words to satisfy the diktat of the layout editor. They may meander, they may digress; but this isn't the same experience as thumb-scrolling over a phone screen to grab a bitesize factoid to fill a blank moment in a coffee-shop queue.

Indeed the layout, the texture, the whole aesthetic of this publication is something of an antidote to the manner in which many of us tend to consume our car-related information these days - pixel by pixel. TCMR demands a sense of occasion; accessorising one's reading experience with a smoking jacket, a glass of fine tawny port and a wing chair beside a roaring fire in a gentlemen's club would not be a ludicrous affectation. This is Autoshite Club Class, if you will. Maybe not for everyone, maybe not all the time, but still a very enjoyable experience once in a while. Four issues a year might keep things fresh enough to avoid it becoming cloying, and these resemble journals to be kept in a library and referred to - not just magazines to be sucked of content and dumped in the recycling along with Grazia and Exchange & Mart.

There is quite a focus on classic motorsport, I'll grant you, which may or may not appeal to all. What I will say is, although great names like Fangio and Nuvolari may not resonate as much with me as it may do with others, the stories themselves have a way of drawing the reader in nevertheless.

Peter Wright's article about Bill Milliken's exploits in the Pike's Peak Hill Climb pivots on the efforts of a bunch of lads in a rural garage trying desperately to get hold of a replacement for a failed distributor cap while facing a severe time pressure. It's a scenario familiar to many of us; the fact it's for a T35A Bugatti is, somehow, irrelevant. It's all about the story, and these are ripping yarns in the best tradition.

Anyway. I'll not spoil it for you, should you wish to explore this series for yourselves. As I say, once you get past the sticker shock of a £10 magazine, there's a whole lot more than might be expected within. Less than £40 a year, delivered, is actually pretty good value, now I reflect on it...

Just as Mark Williams and friends drew together Jalopy as "Motoring In The Real World", it seems that TCMR is also ploughing its own furrow - quite differently, but with a touch of humour and nonchalence that will be familiar to ex-Jafloppy readers and Autoshite members alike.

And finally - I like to think that Williams & co still draw no small pride in their part in launching Britain's Smallest, Dullest Motoring Mag on the unsuspecting general public all the way back in 1992. Look what's semi-hidden toward the back...

I've put my order in for #3.

[Crankshaft]

^^^ Excellent review of TCMR there Datsuncog. I subscribed from the start and agree, it's nice little read.

[Datsuncog]

^^^ It really is a nice read, glad you're enjoying too. I'm thinking of taking out a subscription... I quite like the idea of having a magazine drop through the door unexpectedly every few months. Kinda like the postie's giving you a present...

[Datsuncog]

Just as a heads-up to those of us still eager to achieve that elusive Jalopy Full House - another assortment of magazines has just popped up on The Bay.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jalopy-Motoring-Magazine-6-Issues-From-1992-93-94/222961252589?hash=item33e986b8ed:g:TqsAAOSwzrNa6MSR

This haul (seemingly 7 issues, not 6 as the title states) comprises:

• Issue 7 December 92
• Issue 10 March 93
• Issue 23 August 94
• Issue 24 September 94
• Issue 25 October 94
• Issue 26 November 94
• Issue 27 December 94/January 95.

Eight days still to run and an opening bid of a tenner already placed.

None of my missing issues in there, but may be of interest to others here!

[warren t claim]

I've joined PayPal just to bid on these!

[warren t claim]

Just as a heads-up to those of us still eager to achieve that elusive Jalopy Full House - another assortment of magazines has just popped up on The Bay.

 

Jalopy - Ebay sale May 2018.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jalopy-Motoring-Magazine-6-Issues-From-1992-93-94/222961252589?hash=item33e986b8ed:g:TqsAAOSwzrNa6MSR

 

This haul (seemingly 7 issues, not 6 as the title states) comprises:

• Issue 7 December 92
• Issue 10 March 93
• Issue 23 August 94
• Issue 24 September 94
• Issue 25 October 94
• Issue 26 November 94
• Issue 27 December 94/January 95.

Eight days still to run and an opening bid of a tenner already placed.

 

None of my missing issues in there, but may be of interest to others here!

I'm pleased to report that I'm still the highest bidder on these. 

 

Obviously, if I win I'll scan them and share on here.

[Datsuncog]

Here's hoping! That'd be a decent bundle, for the money. Fingers and toes crossed for you!

[Spottedlaurel]

Anyway... here's something which might also be of interest.................

 

Wasn't aware of this one. I've completely stopped buying current magazines but it looks like that could be worthwhile - sounds like some of it will remind me of old Car articles.

[Datsuncog]

^^^ I'd say it'd be more than just reminiscent - a few stand-out Car articles have been reprinted so far, with more to come, I'll wager. It really is excellent stuff, offering something that can't really be found anywhere else.

My copy of Issue 3 arrived in the postbox yesterday, so I'm anticipating a pleasant evening spent perusing this quarter's selections. First impressions are that it's getting better and better.

Due to an administrative error, I received a second copy of Issue 2 in the post a fortnight ago - so if anyone would be interested in obtaining a sample of this periodical at cost of postage only, do let me know!

[artdjones]

^^^ I'd say it'd be more than just reminiscent - a few stand-out Car articles have been reprinted so far, with more to come, I'll wager. It really is excellent stuff, offering something that can't really be found anywhere else.

 

My copy of Issue 3 arrived in the postbox yesterday, so I'm anticipating a pleasant evening spent perusing this quarter's selections. First impressions are that it's getting better and better.

 

Due to an administrative error, I received a second copy of Issue 2 in the post a fortnight ago - so if anyone would be interested in obtaining a sample of this periodical at cost of postage only, do let me know!

I'd like the spare magazine please,if still available.Postage would be to County Cork.

[warren t claim]

Just as a heads-up to those of us still eager to achieve that elusive Jalopy Full House - another assortment of magazines has just popped up on The Bay.

 

Jalopy - Ebay sale May 2018.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jalopy-Motoring-Magazine-6-Issues-From-1992-93-94/222961252589?hash=item33e986b8ed:g:TqsAAOSwzrNa6MSR

 

This haul (seemingly 7 issues, not 6 as the title states) comprises:

• Issue 7 December 92
• Issue 10 March 93
• Issue 23 August 94
• Issue 24 September 94
• Issue 25 October 94
• Issue 26 November 94
• Issue 27 December 94/January 95.

Eight days still to run and an opening bid of a tenner already placed.

 

None of my missing issues in there, but may be of interest to others here!

Fucking hell I've just won these!

[Datsuncog]

Boom! Well played!

[warren t claim]

Need to throw some money in the bank on Monday morning!

[Datsuncog]

MOAR Ebay Jaloppiness up for grabs, kids:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192539293189?ul_noapp=true

Just in case anyone is seeking Issue #6 (November 1992), complete with bonus Alfa literature.

[sierraman]

I have a copy of 'keep your car alive' it very basic stuff though, proper simple stuff like changing the oil etc

[warren t claim]

All paid for. I'll try and scan as many as possible or sell them on in the AS community when I've enjoyed them.

[Wack]

..

[Datsuncog]

Just for the hardcore Jalopy Massive (hey, I know you're out there) - seems that reproduction stickers from Jalopy #2 (July 1992) are commercially available via Ebay.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/352365770831?ul_noapp=true

Demonstrate your unimpeachable shite credentials without having to shred your priceless* copy of #2 to do so.

Three stickers for £1.50 posted seems pretty good value, all in all.

It isn't anyone on here who's selling them, is it? Brownowl99?

[Datsuncog]

Another Fleabay listing for a Joypal back issue - an appropriately ratty copy of #20, which must date from April 1994.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/123196604159

If no-one bids against you, it could be in your hands for under £4...

EDIT: same mag now re-listed at the same £1.99 starting price, closing 1st July.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/123209935690?ul_noapp=true

Looks like it's anyone's for the taking.