Your car is too fat. Ha!!

[dollywobbler]

It's now even easier to spot a complete dickhead. They can be found either behind the wheel of that hideous Audi off road thing or the even more hideous BMW X6 - which looks like a foul 4x4 that's melted.Had an Audi racing up behind me while I was in the 2CV today. I was doing an indicated 55mph in a 50 zone. But it was my turning, so I indicated right and took it - slowly like, to hold him up.The bloody great thing followed me but we were now on a narrow lane. He indicated right as if to overtake, but there was no way that Fat Boy was getting past. I wasn't going to drive my precious little car across the verge. He'd have to sodding wait. The road then gets even narrower but by now, I'm up to a real 60mph. Now, I really should have slowed down but I was having fun driving down a very bumpy road at high speed. Sure, Fat Boy was sticking with me but I was at the legal limit and very happy.We get out onto a wider bit and he's off like a shot. I was still doing 60. What's the rush? Pillock.

[pbottomley]

Obvious innit, "worlds gona end" and he has to get home and boil an egg

[pompei]

Funny, I was "pursued" by a **** in one of those BMWs today. Not being judgemental or owt like that, but you just know what sort of person will be behind the wheel ...

[garethj]

What's the rush?

If you had a car that hideous, you'd be in a hurry to get home and jump out too To make real progress on the roads today you need a motorbike and to ride like your trousers are on fire. Anything else just puts you 2 cars ahead at the next traffic jam.

[155V6]

I meet a lot of these on rural roads when I'm delivering in my Sprinter,might as well be a 7.5 tonner coming the other way .And is there any chance of them putting a couple of wheels on the grass verge?

[Richard]

Most of them won't even drive through a puddle.

[pogweasel]

I wish I had a fat car. I wouldn't be bothered about rushing or not if I had electric toys and cumfy seats etc. 100+ miles a day in a wobbly, inadequate and ultra-basic piece of french crap is driving me loopy.

[MrRegieRitmo]

100+ miles a day in a wobbly, inadequate and ultra-basic piece of french crap is driving me loopy.

What is it?

[dollywobbler]

I wish I had a fat car. I wouldn't be bothered about rushing or not if I had electric toys and cumfy seats etc. 100+ miles a day in a wobbly, inadequate and ultra-basic piece of french crap is driving me loopy.

Ah, I only do 50 miles a day in mine! As for meeting them coming the other way, while the 2CV will happily swerve up a verge at speed, I delight in forcing the plebs to get their wheels dirty. Managed it with a Range Rover Sport the other day. They really don't expect me to not yield!Might is right? Nah, sod off mate. And yes, I do apparently have a death wish... (well, not hit anyone yet...)

[Albert Ross]

<<<<<~I drive this....I was towing a van on a rope last night down some narrow lanes. EVERYBODY pulled into the bushes when they met me coming the other way! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[mk1_4dr]

I did 250+ miles on Sunday, mostly on moorland roads - just narrow bands of tarmac over the top of the moors - and the number of inconsiderate bastards that had me two wheels in the mud, they're all driving huge disco3's/RangeRovers and the like and not one of them a) knows where their car ends so they can get close to the edges have any intentions of getting their precious 4X4 flecked with mud anyway.I just got glared at like I shouldn't have been so stupid as to drive an old car up on the tops

[Maltelec]

I drive a land rover very much like Alberts. I often get a little Polo stuck behind me while I am doing 30mph to work on very twisty and windy, not to mention very narrow roads.I ALWAYS leave it behind on the hair pin bend/hill cos I stick at 30mph 4th gear, double-declutching to 3rd just at the start while they are crunching their way down to 2nd and reving the bollox off the engine to get round the hairpin and climb the 1 in 4 hill at the same time.But like all boy racers, it comes rocketing up behind me, while I am still doing 30mph with the hedge touching both sides of the door tops.

[Station]

 

Talk about fat. Some slackjaw parked this in the middle of two petrol pump spots. He got out, observed that my missus' tiny MG wouldn't go in the gap, and then got on with it and just filled up the tank with 500 gallons of petrol. Missus then squeezes into the gap which took about 2 minutes, with Q8 driver looking on. He had a few feet of space for himself to stand in though.

 

He then scratched the side of his heap on the side of the pump on the way out, though I don't think he noticed. These big Audi's/BMW's are fucking shite and need to be banned.

[Rocket88]

I do think that nailing his testicles to the rear view mirror of the MG was a tad harsh though

[pompei]

[trigger]

I do think that nailing his testicles to the rear view mirror of the MG was a tad harsh though

That just made me dripple my Ribena onto my lap and now i look like I've pissed myself!

[AnthonyG]

Followed one of those BMW X6 things for a few miles a couple of weeks ago - they are really BIG and FUGLY and make the aforementioned Audi Q7 look like a Alfa Spider. What with the twin exhaust pipes that look like eyes, I was reminded of a early Terminator (T600?) or the robodestroyer thing in Robocop 2, the one that couldn't go down stairs .

[Guest]

Followed one of those BMW X6 things for a few miles a couple of weeks ago - they are really BIG and FUGLY and make the aforementioned Audi Q7 look like a Alfa Spider.

 

What with the twin exhaust pipes that look like eyes, I was reminded of a early Terminator (T600?) or the robodestroyer thing in Robocop 2, the one that couldn't go down stairs .

 

ED 209?

 

That was the best fucking bit of Robocop. Although all of it was QUALITY.

Just the sight of that bloody thing having a fit because it couldn't walk down the stairs and then squealing like a pig.

 

And despite wearing a metal and fibreglass suit Peter Weller still manages to look like he doesn't give a fuck, puts his gun away and walks down the stairs.