Oh no, you could write the script....

[Mr_Bo11ox]

 

I rang up the seller of this 33 last night. He is a super sound feller and gave me chapter and verrse on on it, must have been going on for about an hour describing the car. But....

 

He described how he had the car totally restored about 10 years ago including a full pro respray costing £1200 (back then) with him doing all the stripping and reassembling, rebuilt gearbox, low mileage SH engine and lord knows what else. Its been in his lock-up for 7 years and now needs restoring again, basically much of the lacquer has flaked off, some of the door bottoms have gone rusty, filler cap aperture is rusty, front cross member is rusty. Asking about the chassis/floor he says 'not sure, but I painted it with some really thick bitumen when it was restored so it should be OK' which sounds ominous. Its done 240,000 miles. He has all the parts necessary to sort it out however including numerous doors, petrol tanks and so on, many of which I am sure are made from purest unobtanium. Basically though it sounds like a substantial project and frankly a right load of GRIEF.

 

However its cheap as chips on the bay and he's had some feller round who wants to rape it for its engine, which sounds a shame as there must be loads of these engines knocking around still, seems a shame to scrap a super-rare car for its most common part. The seller really wants to see it rebuilt and I could tell on the phone he was fishing for me to make an offer to just take the lot away with a promise to do something constructive with it. I didnt make one but he seemed amazed that it had made £120 on the bay so I bet £150 would have bought it. ANyway this engine geezer seems very business like, came to see it, started it up and so on, and reckons he'd pay £350 for it to get the engine. This seems like madness to me but there we are, i'm not paying anything like that figure.

 

Now the seller has rung me back, trying to engineer some deal with the engine buyer where the car lives on, minus engine, in my custody. I am starting to wish i'd never seen the damn thing. I dont want to be party to it being scrapped cos i'd seriously love one of these and they are ridiculously rare, but its sounding like a proper several-month project and TBH i just cant take on another of those. Its like when someone on emmerdale is having an affair, they say to their bit of totty 'This has got to stop, its getting too serious and I dont want to get involved', to which the totty says tearfully 'YOU ALREADY ARE INVOLVED' and our man realises that he's already in over his head. Now I can see that i've got to either buy it or, basically condemn it! BOLLOCKS

[Pillock]

I can just see Mr_Boloques as the grim reaper, turning up in a black hooded robe and a scythe to condemn the poor Alfa to DEATH.On the plus side, it's a nice car. It's super-rare but has all the bits. From your piccies of the bLandcrab you could make it work. We would hail you once more as the king of autoshite.On the minus side, it sounds like a fugging ballache just to get hold of the car before the work starts. Anyone doing that much faffing over buyers trying to work out deals without engines is going to cause you grief. What if engine man delays? What if he mangles the car getting the engine out? How much more are you looking at to source and collect a new engine?How many are left, does anyone know? Are we talking, like, this is the very last one and should be in a museum or are they in the same category as silver Vectras? You could see it as condemming this to death helps other 33 wagon owners by making theirs just that little bit rarer and more valuable.

[Volksy]

 

Ding Dong, Hello I've come for the Alfa...

[Station]

Take it, and then keep it for a bit. If you have no interest in it I'm sure someone else will in the future! Don't let it go to shite heaven!!

[seth]

Calling Torsten! Couldn't this be housed until Mr B gets a chance to take it on?

[Monkey_boy]

Well bend me backwards and feed me a banana. I had one of those in racing green. Was a lovely car till it fell to bits and became a typical Alfa nightmare. Didn't help that I had no cash to keep it going.

[Mr Lobster]

So the only way theres going to be a deal for it to be saved is if it comes without engine? If thats the case, unless you are really really into restoring rotten old Alfa 33 Wagons then I'd walk away tbh. If the seller wants to see the car live on and suddenly has an attack of conscience and will sell it complete for £150 then get on it immediately if not sooner.It might be rare but if its going to come with no engine, needing loads of work AND you've nowhere really to stick it then you'll only end up resenting the massive ballache it will turn into.

[mouseflakes]

Chill out Mr. B - if it does get scrapped for the engine then that's not your fault. Don't kick yourself for it. It sounds like a right pa*n in the arse to me.As I think you've said yourself - there will always be more old heaps than can be saved. If you're not saving this one, then you'll no doubt be saving another.

[Guest]

To be honest, I didn't think it sounded like a hugely appealing concept with the engine in given your current "to do" list, without the engine it just sounds like an utter ballache you'll never realistically be able to sort out. Plus if you get this, how much will your other stuff suffer? You were on about maybe scrapping the Alpine to make room for it, that's mental. It's a bit scabby but it at least it has an engine!

 

A better one will turn up I'm sure - probably one that doesn't want a load of paint and has an engine in it. It is an Alfa after all so there'll be a few enthusiastic owners keeping the remainder going I'd imagine. I could just see this one rotting away for ages sans engine until you have to weigh it in and feel incredibly guilty about it - cut your losses and stay the hell away, crack on with your other stuff, drive them around for a bit! The Ital couldn't have been that much fun with all the pressure you had to get rid of it, you didn't even get to have a few months pottering around in it.

 

Soz to be a bit harsh man! Just don't want to see you lumbered with something that will give you huge headaches when it's not really your fault/problem.

[Spottedlaurel]

/\ He's right, you know.

[Station]

After reading through them ^ I agree, if he's so passionate about getting it to someone who can restore it (which is strange as to why he's getting rid of it) then he will wait?

[Ratdat]

Cast it from your mind Mr.B. It won't bring you much happiness. You've done more than your fair share of tat saving already so no need to beat yourself up because one slips the net.

[Guest]

Hey Mister Bollocks, have you considered that the engine buyer thing might be a bit of a red herring, a ruse brought up to encourage a snap decision from you?If the story is genuine enough, I'm sure if you dig around a little, free-ads/OC forums and the like, you can find another engine up for grabs which you can then tell the 33 seller about before he rips the lump out and gets his 350 smackeroonies.On the other hand, its 4x4 so not GR8 4 A-FRAMIN.

[retrogeezer]

I think you have more of a problem admitting you watch Emmerdale to be honest!

[KruJoe]

Would it be worth making him an offer on his hoard of spare bits, and stash them in a corner so you'll be ready for the next one after you've sorted your life out? Let him do his deal with the engine man and forget this grotbox. Don't let this one erode your love for the model, because it could. And that would be a crime.

[carlo]

I was just like that with a lovely Peugeot 305 GTX a few months ago. I went though AGONIES thinking about it, literally sleepless nights - over a bloody car nobody wanted for £600! All I can tell you Mr B (although I'm not someone who works on cars like you) is that having made the final decision NOT to go with it I felt immediately much better! That of course was untill the seller emailed me a week later to offer it again even cheaper, and then the whole bloody process started again.I'd say no, and see how you feel afterwards - that should tell you how much you really want it. I doubt it's going very far (much like that 305 which hung around for ages.)

[CortinaDave]

I'd walk away.. with no engine its absolutely a no hoper.. basically the other bloke gets the best bit and you're left with all the crap. No deal!Given its rarity and IF it comes with the engine at £150 it might be worthwhile.. even if you only store it for a bit while you think about what you want to do. At the end of the day as it stands its gonna get crushed, so if you buy it and decide you cant do anything with it and crush it yourself its no worse off!If the bloke is that keen to see it saved he'll take the £150.

[Guest]

Alternative angle to think about Bollox, now that the engine is going, you have a great excuse not to buy it. It was already down as a pretty tough project and that could be the nail in its coffin.

[AnthonyG]

Tell him if he wants it restored you will take it, but only for free.That will soon get him off your back. The last thing you want is an Alfa without the engine - thats the main point of Alfas - journos always used to say that you paid for the engine and the rest was free. Dont worry about its rarity - there will be loads left in Southern Europe. Its not as if its a Isotta Faschini or something.

[shite_meister]

I have to say even I would steer clear of this one but it does seem quite unusual.If you want it that bad I would suggest speaking to the owner-you already have a good raport with him from what you say and explain to him that if the engine man gets his way then its the end of the road for the Alfa and then play on his emotional attachment to the car, tell him it'd be a crying shame etc etc it would be far too expensive to get a replacement engine yadda yadda yadda and then say how he clearly cared about the car so if he wants to give it a fighting chance of survival then you would ensure the car was restored and cherished but you can only muster £150 sovs, fuck, tell him you'll bring it back to show him one day when its all gleaming even if you're lying-doing all that has seen me get cars that would otherwise have been broken by someone offering more cash.

[reallyloud]

Not seen a mk1 4x4 wagon in years, not sure whether such an opportunity will come up that soon in the UK. I think your best bet would be as suggested is to get yourself down to Southern Italy and find the best one you can find, or get yourself a sud estate instead.

[pompei]

It's certainly a rare beast, but sounds like a whole heap of TRUBBLE. A mate of mine had one some years ago and apparently it was a max grief purveyor. From another point of view, I don't think that £350 for the car is a bad deal - if I had a good Sud or Sprint, then I'd be happy to pay this to extract the 1.7 engine plus all the other goodies that could be prised off it. Sacrilege I know to sign its death warrant for that purpose but how badly do you want to save it?

[trigger]

I scanned off a road test from one of these the other day.

 

Even What Car in 1985 only rated it a 2 star compared to the 5 star Pug 305 GTX Estate & Citroen BX 16 TRS.

 

They said the only good feature about the car was the styling, If it was shit then, It's bound to be even shitter now, Personally I'd move on and try and forget about it.

 

Link to set ------>

[FredTransit]

I would tell him you only wanted it complete. At your price. If not, walk away. I suspect the engine thing might be a pressure thing. Why would somebody spend more on just an engine than the whole car AND loads of spares? What is/has it fetched on the bay? If it's not finished, put in a snipe bid, and leave it.

[pogweasel]

It ended at £123. The winning bidder has a feedback score of 100 - 499. Mr_Bo**ox has a feedback score of 270. Could it be...?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

No, it couldnt, I didnt bid any more. BUT the seller texted me this morning to say that the winning bidder is indeed the engine buying man, and he'd be happy to sell me the remains (I bet he would), and can he pass on my number to the winning biddAr. I havent decided about that yet.I must say, even if this car is a bit of a shitbox that guy has got a mega bargain at £120 I think.I feel like the chances of this car ending up in my custody are currently at about 15%.

[FredTransit]

Why didn't you bid more? I thought you were going to offer £150. It was engine man that offered £350, and OK if that was ghis high bid at least you could have bid him up!

[andrew e]

Mr B buy the remains, handy for a future 4x4, if they are all pure UNOBTAINIM.

[Owain-328i]

Its a heap. Forget it, and buy something thats not gona cost loads of money, waste loads of time welding, and still cause all sorts of electrical and mechanical grief when its 'sorted'.

[shite_meister]

Well if you didn't bid £150 did you really want it?

 

I've had cars offered to me without the engine after taking an interest in the whole thing and I just think er no, I want it all or not at all.

 

Chalk this one down to experience and put it on your 'ones that got away' list-we've all got them.