Shite Juke Box

[pompei]

Doing that blokey Nick Hornby make a list type thing, I've been trying to come up with examples of songs about or referring to shite cars. So far I gotWreckless Eric, Reconnez Cherie"Do you remember those nights in my Zodiac, playing with your dress underneath your pac-a-mac"The Clash, Janie Jones"He's got a Ford Cortina that just won't run without fuel, fill her up Jacko"Stackridge, Wonderful Day " ... a wonderful day in my Maestro"er, that's it ...Any others?

[mk2_craig]

Best I can offer is a couple of parodies

 

"Hairy Old Cortina" as used on the Nescafe ad, quick google search has turned up a copy of the promotional website at http://www.t1.co.uk/Nescafe/HairyOldCortina/default.asp . Original song was of course Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina"

 

"This is my Motor" - a Chris Moyles send-up of Tiff-nay out of Eastenders, refers to her Cavalier. Audible at http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/pafil ... ile&id=965

[Mash]

The Jam, Saturday's Kids:Saturday's kids live in council houses,Wear V-neck shirts and baggy trousers,Drive Cortinas, fur trimmed dashboard,Stains on the seats - in the back of course!

[garycox]

My Bloody Yugo by The Legendary Jim Ruiz Group...

 

Quite an obscure one, can be heard here:

 

http://www.last.fm/music/The+Legendary+ ... loody+Yugo

[155V6]

John Shuttleworth-Austin Ambassador Y Reg

[155V6]

Not forgetting the one in the Stingray puppet series about the blue Morris...Marina,aqua Marina!!Shall I get my coat?

[mk2_craig]

Well if we're clutching at straws then I give you http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tW0SZIHJgms

"Vamos ha jugar en el sol todos los dias son dias de fiesta" (at 3min53sec)

 

Mk2 1.4S please, C-reg in Paris Blue if it's all the same to you. Cheers!

[Guest]

Albert One - Turbo Diesel.

 

"Rover!" (HONK) "You are my everything!"

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7vcRTw4pTu8

 

Whilst he sits in what appears to be an Opel Commodore B with no roof, wearing a horrid tracksuit and a steering wheel medallion, with a load of bored-looking women. Brill!

[CortinaDave]

Fratellis-Chelsea Dagger..

 

"You drive a Bluebird, You've got no money for the petrol that's what I've heard "

 

There was also a song released in New Zealand about a crap cortina:

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zWLckOVh4 ... re=related

[Richard]

The Lambrettas- Cortina MkII

And now she's left for the boy next door

Just because he's bought a Cortina Ford

 

 

Tom Robinson- Grey Cortina

I wish I had a grey Cortina, whiplash aerial, racing trim,

Cortina driver no one meaner, wish that I could be like him

 

Roman Holliday- Motormania

Zodiac, Cadillac, I'm a motor maniac

 

I've got a song called Hillman Avenger somewhere too, but I can't remember who sang it.

[155V6]

Fratellis-Chelsea Dagger.."You drive a Bluebird, You've got no money for the petrol that's what I've heard "

Their video for Henrietta actually has the Bluebird in it

[pompei]

I s'pose we could have Blondie, Marea ...

[Spottedlaurel]

Line in a Cheryl Crow song that goes on about shiny Datsuns and Buicks.On the straw-clutching thing, I think there's a spaghetti western track (I think from Once Upon a Time in The West) where Joan Baez sings "Agony is my (or your?, I forget) Triumph". You can hilariously add your chosen agony-ridden model of choice after that, I prefer Herald. Bit like Jesus wanting me for a Sunbeam [Alpine].

[Guest]

Make an model not mentioned, but Skee-Lo's fed up of his shite in the I Wish vid

 

 

I wish I had a brand-new car

So far, I got this hatchback

And everywhere I go, yo I gets laughed at

And when I'm in my car I'm laid back

I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat

But that's flat

[Ratdat]

There's a band called "Size 14" who did a track called "Rollin' in the 5-1-0" which is about cruising around in a Datsun 510.

There's also a track actually called "Datsun'" by a band called "Spoon".

 

I've uploaded the Size 14 track so you can listen to it. I've not enough space left on my server to do the other but I'll replace this one later with it if anyone wants to hear it.

 

Size 14 - Rollin' in the 5-1-0

[155V6]

Make an model not mentioned, but Skee-Lo's fed up of his shite in the I Wish vid

 

 

I wish I had a brand-new car

So far, I got this hatchback

And everywhere I go, yo I gets laughed at

And when I'm in my car I'm laid back

I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat

But that's flat

That's a Ford Pinto(or Mercury Bobcat)

[Electric Leyland]

In "Sexuality" by Billy Bragg he sings " I look like Robert De Niro, I drive a Mitsubishi Zero". But that's not a real car. I think it is a plane though.

 

"In the City" by Madness was adopted by Honda for their Honda City ads, as was the band:

 

Blondie: Rapture "he eats Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercurys and Subaru" and in 1981 Subaru were definitely shite

 

UB40 "Cherry-oh baby"

 

Macc Lads Gods Gift to Women "I got a barmaid from St Helens in the back of me Vauxhall Viva"

 

Then there's "Mini" by acid jazz combo Corduroy, who also had an album track called E-Type. On the subject of non shite classics, Public Ememy did "911 is a Joke", and mid 80s soul band Atlantic Star did "Silver Shadow"

 

And to get really tenuous, there's the Broadway musical "Jesus Chrysler Supra Star(let)"

[mouseflakes]

The achingly beautiful 'Saddest Vacant Lot in All the World' by Grandaddy has the line;

 

'He's so drunk he's passed out in a Datsun'

[55bloke]

What about Madness?I like driving in my car, It's not quite a Jaguar. The video showed a Moggy Thou convertable at that point, I think. They went on, if memory serves, to say something about it being made in a factory by The Tyne, which always puzzled me, as I don't think there's ever been a car factory up there?

[Guest greenvanman]

Struggling here, all I can think of is 'White Valiant' by the Mutton Birds.

 

For two-wheeled shite there's always this

[hobo]

god,dont the beachboys look like tossers in that one then.or is it just me?probably.Alexi Sayle mentions the cortina in Ello John,Gotta a New Motor?by the way,hello everybody,this is my firstist ever post on here!!!

[andrew e]

Hello!

[Futuramic]

"Cherokee" by Europe?I'll go now....

[bigstraight6]

Ian Dury and the blockheads timeless classic 'Billericay Dickie' which has the line "Had a love affair with Nina in the back of my cortina, like a seasoned up hyena couldn't have been more obscener"

[Albert Ross]

George Thorogood and the Destroyers. "Gearjammer"..............makes me think of my first Mk3 Escort.........and a few Land Rovers aswell!