Sold Peugeot 305 - OFF TAE SCOTLAN.

[Jim Bell]

 

 

Trees and fields roar by as I read about Guy Martins little brother and the woes of the life on the bottom bunk. Getting his head spewed upon and having to endure the noise of sex adventures taking place above........... Poor lad.

[raggerminder]

Drove up from near Gloucester to Darlo yesterday in the XM and had a lovely trip - even the M42 was all right. Hope all goes well for you.

 

Rob

[cort16]

Are we there yet?

[Jim Bell]

  On 20/04/2015 at 08:04, cort16 said:

Are we there yet?

 

We are not. Still zooming through Yorkshite.

Many other shires to traverse before the halfway point.

[Jim Bell]

 

We have achieved Leeds.

 

Originally settled by the Vikings in 1956, Leeds sits on the junction of twelve rivers. The only owl sanctuary in Yorkshire is located opposite its Victorian baths and the town is currently enjoying its annual crane festival.

 

 

Crane drivers display in an attempt to attract a mate. A traditional Yorkshite ritual, and far more impressive in real life.

Honk if you are horny.

[Jim Bell]

 

 

 

 

Sheffield achieved.

 

Sheffield. Purveyors of finest Brittish steel. Home of the blade and birthplace of the Fairbairn-Sykes fighting knife.

 

 

 

The knife that won the second world war.

A twin edged Axis killer, built by Sheffield men and true, pushed between the ribs of foes of the realm since 1856.

 

Sheffield.

 

Where women use helmets as hand bags.

[stripped fred]

I think you should do this live collection thing as a full time job. It certainly livens up my Monday!

[320touring]

This is doing it properly!

[Jim Bell]

 

Tamworth.

 

 

 

Home of the telescopic tampon applicator.

 

The village of Tamorth was created by Druids in the years following the death of Jesus Christ, and continues to be a shrine of holy pilgrimage to this very day. If you stand on Tamworth Mount on a hot day, it is said in folklore that when the wind blows the correct way, you can sometimes think that you can smell the feet of Jesus himself.

 

Tamworth. They make no cheese here.

 

Tamworth. From the Norse TAM, meaning NOT and the Anglic WORTH meaning WORTH.

 

NOT WORTH. Can not reccomend. Are we nearly there yet?

 

 

 

[sloth]

moar! im sat here in australia waiting for the next installment of chod collection. 

[Jim Bell]

 

Birmingham.

City of culture 1979.

The second biggest metropolis in Europe.

 

Home of Europes funniest man.

 

[Jim Bell]

Train is filling up. I hate people. There's a heavy breathing morbidly obese nerd sitting over the isle, whose text alert ring tone is Butters from South Park saying something outrageous. It goes off every 26 seconds. He has headphones on and is playing World of Warcraft or some shit.

If he's a South Park fan, he must have absolutely no sense of irony.

[vulgalour]

Sounds like he probably had an Irony Bypass in about 1992 (they were all the rage), which is about the same year Hipsters started to be born.  This is surely not a coincidence.

[tooSavvy]

Think the Sheffield pepperpots are no more, do you not have any friends either - might kill you by running you down with a Wedgie?

 

Safe journey.....

 

From: SavvInEdinbro

 

 

TS

[face]

1. Was that a storm-trooper helmet?

 

2. Isn't Tamworth the furthest town from the coast in the UK, or something like that?

[Junkman]

It's the furthest town from anything in the UK.

[vulgalour]

GOOD

[Jim Bell]

 

Lame.

 

 

 

Lovely. It is getting out nice.

 

 

 

Attempting Cheltenham Spa.

[barefoot]

Move across the aisle, 

Go make a FWEND...

[Stixy]

Tamworth is great  but not a mention of Reliant 

 

This has cheered up a shit morning for me  , good luck with the rest of the journey 

[oldcars]

  On 20/04/2015 at 10:27, face said:

1. Was that a storm-trooper helmet?

 

2. Isn't Tamworth the furthest town from the coast in the UK, or something like that?

Tamworth is where Reliants were built so that = good 

[Jim Bell]

  On 20/04/2015 at 11:08, barefoot said:

Move across the aisle,

Go make a FWEND...

Ooooooooo, twain fwend.

 

If I move over the isle, I think the train might tip over on the next left hand bend. We fat lads must be kept equidistant for reasons of general safety.

 

Im ready for some fresh air now. Only another hour and a half to go, to the half way point.

 

Who's idea was this?

He must be a right prick.

[Jim Bell]

We are now approaching Newton Abbott. The destination of the first half of this trip.

 

 

 

Newton Abbot has the smallest castle and is a city shamed because of the insufficiency of its keep.

Suicides are common here.

 

Newton abbot was built in Scotland as a hunting lodge by King Henry the eighth. When he fell out with his third wife Janet Seymore, he had it deconstructed and carried back to Devon on the backs of gypsy laborors.

It was rebuilt in all of its glory, but the suicides continued.

King Henry the eighth declared it cursed and forbade anyone speak of it, or holiday there.

 

The ban remained in effect till 1956. It has now become a popular holiday destination for the Middle classes.

[holbeck]

  On 20/04/2015 at 11:48, Barry Shitpeas said:

We are now approaching Newton Abbott. The destination of the first half of this trip.

 

 

Really? I'd have put you passing the outskirts of Weston-Super-Mare at 110mph right now!

[Jim Bell]

I'm working ahead. Filling in the dead air.

I know you'd are all DEFINATELY on tent hooks for the next thrilling post** you see.

[vulgalour]

@holbeck:  Don't be silly, he's not in a Golf.

[holbeck]

Oh I am, I'm not painting the living room 'cos I keep checking on your progress.

 

Bonus points if you can get a phot of the derelict Volvo 740 estate in the Staff car park at Exeter St Davids (Its not mine), on your right hand side as you leave going south.

 

Although maybe not as you would have to lean over your new fwend to do so

[cort16]

see if you can get a picture of a giant dog given JohnK let us down on his tran-county pickup

[UmBongo]

  On 20/04/2015 at 11:48, Barry Shitpeas said:

We are now approaching Newton Abbott. The destination of the first half of this trip.

 

 

 

Newton Abbot has the smallest castle and is a city shamed because of the insufficiency of its keep.

Suicides are common here.

 

Newton abbot was built in Scotland as a hunting lodge by King Henry the eighth. When he fell out with his third wife Janet Seymore, he had it deconstructed and carried back to Devon on the backs of gypsy laborors.

It was rebuilt in all of its glory, but the suicides continued.

King Henry the eighth declared it cursed and forbade anyone speak of it, or holiday there.

 

The ban remained in effect till 1956. It has now become a popular holiday destination for the Middle classes.

 

The Shitpeas History of Britain by Barry Shitpeas

 

Some selected reviews below...

 

'It's a load of shite.' Andrew Marr

 

'What has that knob been smoking?' David Starkey

 

'It's nae bad, like.' Jimmy Fivebellies

 

'The only historical reference book you will ever need!' Tony Blair

[carlo]

Mutant Abbot.  It ain't quite as nice as it looks in that pic.