Christmas disaster averted by 'worst car ever'

[pogweasel]

Hmm.

 

Well, last night our Picyourasshole decided to eat YET ANOTHER brake light switch. Thought I'd have a bash at fixing it this morning, couldn't get ANY life out of it bar the odd flicker. Unhappy. With Mrs_P hideously close to producing poglet #3, I didn't want to risk it. With my BMW being out of MoT and temporarily laid up until work picks up, that was ruled out too, everything else is broken/unroadworthy too. And dinner provided by mother. Argh.

 

So had to hastily commandere brother-in-laws 'daily driver', which is a 1994 Ford Orion/Escort Mk5, universally panned as one of the most awful cars ever produced.

 

But the thing is, I know I should despise it, but I have found myself rather drawn to it. Sure, it's not quite how it left the factory, and has been rather spoilt rather than left to rot like most of them, but mega mega comfy (even with sports suspension) and very tidy to drive.

Plus it's a deeezel. With a hitch on the back. Think I might have to try and prise it away from him. Will I be stoned to death by the Autoshite Quality Control Dept??

 

Here is the vehicle in question:

Only done 228,000 miles from new.

[Torsten2001]

That's ticking all the shite boxes, love it, what happened to the Focus?

[pogweasel]

Focus is now in 'semi-retirement' with mother-in-law, and unavailable today.

[VWPowered]

arnt those RS2000 lights on the front looks ok nothing wrong with it...

[fearthecat]

nothing wrong with that at all. My dad had the hatchback version... unfortunately he'd traded in a very nice although rusty, C-reg Sierra, so I saw that as a downgrade and the end of his cool cars. It's decent enough though - and if it's shite, it's great here, and if it's not, that just means it's good? Surely you can't go wrong with that kind of logic.correcting my post after reading the one below. My dad has an R-reg, so after '95 - but I am not clued-up enough to spot any shape differences. I still thought it was a decent car, but I was a teen who didnt drive, so no idea what it was like to use, or compared to others

[Richard]

It's a lot better than the 1995-on version, no matter what the motoring journalists said at the time.

[Milford Cubicle]

That looks OK! I imagine they're alright to drive with PAS and a turbo.

Unlike the boggo Mk5 Escort 1.8D L I had. Heaviest steering ever and a completely hapless engine

[Guest]

Heaviest steering ever and a completely hapless engine

Not so fast young man! That honour go's to my 1500 TD Vauxhall corsa

[Milford Cubicle]

Is it that bad? I've driven a Corsa TD with no PAS and it felt like a '90s Honda Accord (lightest steering evar) in comparison to the Escort

[Guest]

This ones bad but my previous one was a lot better.

[Guest]

I briefly drove a 1.5TD Corsa with no PAS and a flat tyre and it was fine for me, skinny little 145 tyres, no bother!The heaviest steering car I've used is the Stanza, a genuine pain at low speeds, though once you get moving it has very nice steering feel, almost perfectly weighted.On the other hand, the lightest steering I've had is the setup on the Cuore and Mira, you could steer it lock to lock with your thumb if you wanted. Great for parking, but when properly moving you have to be a bit careful as the speed you can spin the wheel around far exceeds the handling, one time in the Cuore I was doing a (not particularly quick) U-turn around a traffic island and I got it up on three wheels! Bit worrying, that's what happens when you have PAS on a car that is far too lightweight to need it.Anyway I quite like these Orions to be honest, not sure why they were so universally despised as people who owned them seemed to like them. I can certainly think of worse cars and I bet in the right spec they're a pleasant thing.

[Heep]

What's so bad about that Orion? I think it looks great although I'm not a big fan of those wheels.My Camry has insanely light PAS, I can turn the wheel from lock to lock with just the pad of a pinky finger pressed against the rim of the wheel. Still, a Crown Vic/Grand Marquis/Town Car has lighter steering still...Heaviest I've used was in the Rover P6 3500 I had in Australia. No PAS, a worn steering box, and too-fat tyres. At least it had a rather large steering wheel.

[retrogeezer]

The Mk5/5 facelift were the worst Escort ever made, - but if it drives o.k then why not.

[Richard]

The "oval clock" Escort was many times worse than the Mk5. It shared virtually no parts with the Mk5 as far as I could tell, it was an absolute bastard to get parts for- and it needed a lot of parts.

[155V6]

I quite like that,the wheels suit it as they're not too blingy.That's what a modified car should look like,& Pog has said that it's still comfortable so the suspension drop hasn't spoilt it.Plus it's a diesel(if you like that sort of thing )with a towbar,so very useful

[Guest greenvanman]

I can't see the picture (posting from the outlaws on my recently upgraded foneshite) but even from the description it would appear that I've taxed far worse. I say go for it

[garycox]

I had a K reg 1.4LX Escort which was the same shape as that and I found it to be perfectly acceptable... nothing special but it was reliable, comfortable etc and TBH I couldn't see why people thnk they're so rubbish. I'd happily drive that Orion (esp. with PAS as even with the 1.4 it was a little heavy...), I'd probably lose the wheels if it were mine but each to their own and all that...Incidentally, my 'heavy steering' vote goes to my mum's 1.3 Auto Metro, which manages to be heavier than the 3.3 Auto Ventora my dad used to have...

[Pete-M]

Lightest steering award of all time had to go to a friends Range Rover which had a stuck valve in the power steering box - that was obscenely light. The Jensen isn't far behind..Heaviest I can remember was another friends Peugeot 205 TD fitted with a Dimma bodykit and something like 9" wide front wheels. That was stupid when you tried to park it.

[r.welfare]

What happened to the bargain ZX dizzler then? Shurely that would be a better drive than the Onion.Heavy steering? Try a Volvo 340...or a base-spec Rover 214 without PAS. The last car I had without it was the Mk2 Cav last year, but I don't recall it being that heavy...mind you I only drove it about 100 miles in total before selling it on.

[pogweasel]

What happened to the bargain ZX dizzler then? Shurely that would be a better drive than the Onion.

Due to the insurance bods buggering me about the bint flogged it to someone else rather than wait for me. Wouldn't have been so bad, but it was at HER stipulation that it had to be taxed before it left. I'd have just winged it & sorted out once the [correct] docs arrived. Ho-hum. Been out for a blast in the Onion again today to pick up parts for the Picasso.Which is nice. Quickclear screen too, handy with last nights thick frost. Needs a certain amount of 'forward planning' when overtaking/being overtaken occurs on uphill bits of the motorway though

[Split_Pin]

I like it - nothing wrong with it!I have a nice dealer-issue 1/24 scale model Orion Ghia, looks like an early one, in that metallic cherry colour Ford used to do at the time. I wouldnt mind a nice-condition example of the real thing, as long as the utterly tripe and infuriating theme tune they used in their adverts of the time (everything we do is driven by you!) doesnt pop into my head every time I drove it!

[r.welfare]

That'll be the Schabak model. They did quite a bit of Ford promo stuff at the time.

[Split_Pin]

Yep thats the one - I've got a Granada to go with it plus assorted Sapphires and an XR2i. Seems they stopped doing these after about 1993 ish??

[Guest greenvanman]

OK, now I can see it I'd like to modify my opinion from 'Go for it' to 'Go for it if you can un-lower it and dump those chavvy rimz'.

[Mr Lobster]

They are a lot better than people give them credit for. I ran around in a K plate 1.8i Ghia for a short time a few years back and was quite pleasantly surprised by it.