Weirdest people you've sold a car to

[autofive]

Four of the  women that I have shagged in the past are now fully paid up members of the rug munching brigade.

As I sold them no cars its not really relevant to the thread. But it makes you think doesnt it?

 

 

are you really that bad in bed that 4 women have given up on porksword as a result?

[Tayne]

That was what it made me think.

[Station]

A Mk3 Capri 1.6 Laser to some really, really ace bloke who'd pestered the tits off me about it. He was coming from Prestatyn which should be a sort of 30-40 minute journey.

I swear to God it must have taken him four hours and kept stopping to find land marks to let me know he was on the way, including 'I'm in Hay Warden now' and then after ten minutes of bizarre conversation it transpired he meant Hawarden, etc. 

Anyhow despite repeated attempts to guide him in he just sort of kept drifting off course and probably managed about 90 miles to get here.

 

 

Directions from Prestatyn to Billy's : Go on A55. That's it.

[Faker]

I own an old A4 tdi Avant. I've owned it for about 8 years. It is currently parked at my mums on a sorn for the last 18 months. It has my private plate on it, and I have to mot and tax it to get my plate off it.

 

Anyway.... A local wingnut, who tortured me for ages when I was still using it as a work horse, begged me to sell it to him, like for three years. He was a bit of a handy man, would mow lawns and shit, and wanted an estate. I really looked after the yoke and it was in good shape, and still is for that matter. So 18 months ago it Failed mot on a dodgy rear caliper and some other mickey mouse defect. Wingnut arrived at my house one day for a brew, and told me he would give me a monkey for it as it was, and that I could take my plate off it any time I liked. I agreed. The then fuker went to my local motor factors were I have an account, and got new discs, pads, bearings and two recon calipers on my account without me knowing. So when he later realised how much they were going to cost, he approached me and told me he had come into money problems, and he would have to sell the car. I told him I'd give him his money back as I wanted my private plate. No harm done. Then I got the bill for the parts. Fukin £320!!! I was going to kill the bastard.

 

To add insult to injury, the tax expired during the change of ownerships and it was put on sorn while in fuk heads ownership. I got the v5 back from the dva and tried to transfer the reg, but couldn't as it had changed owners. It would had to have still been registered to me on my sorn continually to change the reg. Double fuked!!

 

Anyway I rose above it and chose to ignore him for ages. He arrived at the house one day for something, and was promptly told to get the fuk off my property!

 

Our paths crossed in our local 7/11 about 2 or 3 months ago. Fuk head had the cheek to ask for a waterproof coat back that he loaned my ages ago. Needless to say i was informed that i was no longer welcome in the shop due to my language outburst.

 

Bastard!!

[Alexg]

Not autoshite but working in a Main Dealer brings in some nutters.

 

Whilst working at a Vauxhall dealer about 7 years ago an unkempt man in typical tramp attire sauntered into the showroom. He looked about 55, had a huge dirty beard and long smelly jacket, clearly not a typical new car customer. Whilst my colleagues and I paused with a kind of WTF look on our faces, my mate Dave approached and the guy mumbled that he wanted to buy the £20,000 ASTRA VXR out on the front forecourt. I chuckled to myself before Dave reached for the keys and said "lets go for a drive!... Do you have your licence?... No? I'll drive then!".

 

I watched in amazement as the homeless guy climbed into the passenger seat before Dave took of up the road flooring the throttle like an utter nobber.

 

10 minutes later he was back, and the tramp sat at Daves desk and confirmed he wanted to buy the car but would require finance. "No problem I need to take some details and what ID do you have?" The tramp searched through his trench coat pocket, but found nothing handfuls of dead leaves and twigs. Despite this some address details were cobbled together and an application put through to the finance company. Dave told the tramp to return later for an answer, but of course the finance company could find no trace when conducting the credit search.

 

The tramp returned and was given the bad news, and we thought we'd seen the last of him until 2 days later he walked onto the forecourt and up to the showroom window and just stared though at us. Creeped out I called Dave over, "your customer's back mate" Dave looked over at the window and then back at me "what's that in his hand?... SHIT it's a syringe!" And right enough the guy was clutching a drawn syringe in his hand as he glared though our window. He was there for about 10 minutes, walked off and was never seen again.

[Volksy]

Not autoshite but working in a Main Dealer brings in some nutters.

 

Whilst working at a Vauxhall dealer about 7 years ago an unkempt man in typical tramp attire sauntered into the showroom. He looked about 55, had a huge dirty beard and long smelly jacket, clearly not a typical new car customer. Whilst my colleagues and I paused with a kind of WTF look on our faces, my mate Dave approached and the guy mumbled that he wanted to buy the £20,000 ASTRA VXR out on the front forecourt. I chuckled to myself before Dave reached for the keys and said "lets go for a drive!... Do you have your licence?... No? I'll drive then!".

 

I watched in amazement as the homeless guy climbed into the passenger seat before Dave took of up the road flooring the throttle like an utter nobber.

 

10 minutes later he was back, and the tramp sat at Daves desk and confirmed he wanted to buy the car but would require finance. "No problem I need to take some details and what ID do you have?" The tramp searched through his trench coat pocket, but found nothing handfuls of dead leaves and twigs. Despite this some address details were cobbled together and an application put through to the finance company. Dave told the tramp to return later for an answer, but of course the finance company could find no trace when conducting the credit search.

 

The tramp returned and was given the bad news, and we thought we'd seen the last of him until 2 days later he walked onto the forecourt and up to the showroom window and just stared though at us. Creeped out I called Dave over, "your customer's back mate" Dave looked over at the window and then back at me "what's that in his hand?... SHIT it's a syringe!" And right enough the guy was clutching a drawn syringe in his hand as he glared though our window. He was there for about 10 minutes, walked off and was never seen again.

This happened to me when i briefly worked for a Holden dealers in NZ, however said tramp bought - with cash - two BRAND NEW V8 Utes, and an old Ford Fairlaine that he liked on the court.

[stuboy]

Four of the  women that I have shagged in the past are now fully paid up members of the rug munching brigade.

As I sold them no cars its not really relevant to the thread. But it makes you think doesnt it?

cab be taken either way

[Owain71]

Sadly, no interesting story to post, however keep this up & I reckon there's a publishing deal to be had - Xmas best-seller for Dads, anyone?

 

Make a nice change to the usual pair of socks and far more entertaining than the cliched bollocks of Clarkson & Co.

[chaseracer]

He turned up in checked trousers at least five inches to short and with pink cottoned repair patches to the knees, bright orange socks and a vile blazer that looked like it was a Wurzel Gummidge cast off. Anyhow he was a brilliant bloke, eccentric as hell and his equally mad, equally crazily dressed son came with him...

Truly, there are not enough people like this!

 

[chaseracer]

Directions from Prestatyn to Billy's : Go in an A55. That's it.

Edited for increased AS credibility.

 

[STUNO]

This happened to me when i briefly worked for a Holden dealers in NZ, however said tramp bought - with cash - two BRAND NEW V8 Utes, and an old Ford Fairlaine that he liked on the court.

Must have been a good crop that year !

[Bren]

Many moons ago I had a renault 5 GT turbo - I decided to sell because of it's lack of room and general flimsiness - I remember caving the door in trying to close it - the lock had broken.

 

Because the car had a fortune spent on it I was greedy and turned down a few reasonable offers - I then bought a 2.9i granada so things got desperate, I was keeping the renault at my in laws and she wanted it gone.

 

Two black males, one with gold teeth, turned up to view the car. The guy with the expensive gnashers was the buyer, he explained he was from Manchester, and that his renault 19 had been seized by the police because somebody had tried to shoot him in it - it was full of bullet holes.

 

My mother in laws face was a picture - she was less than impressed having two members of the cripps gang in her kitchen.

 

Suffice to say they took the car (I just wanted it gone), I remember putting the log book in the post  as soon as they were out of sight.

 

Only later did I think if somebody was going to shoot at me, I would want something more substantial than the skin of a renault 5 to protect me.

[Jim Bell]

Word.

[londonm]

I own an old A4 tdi Avant. I've owned it for about 8 years. It is currently parked at my mums on a sorn for the last 18 months. It has my private plate on it, and I have to mot and tax it to get my plate off it.

 

Anyway.... A local wingnut, who tortured me for ages when I was still using it as a work horse, begged me to sell it to him, like for three years. He was a bit of a handy man, would mow lawns and shit, and wanted an estate. I really looked after the yoke and it was in good shape, and still is for that matter. So 18 months ago it Failed mot on a dodgy rear caliper and some other mickey mouse defect. Wingnut arrived at my house one day for a brew, and told me he would give me a monkey for it as it was, and that I could take my plate off it any time I liked. I agreed. The then fuker went to my local motor factors were I have an account, and got new discs, pads, bearings and two recon calipers on my account without me knowing. So when he later realised how much they were going to cost, he approached me and told me he had come into money problems, and he would have to sell the car. I told him I'd give him his money back as I wanted my private plate. No harm done. Then I got the bill for the parts. Fukin £320!!! I was going to kill the bastard.

 

To add insult to injury, the tax expired during the change of ownerships and it was put on sorn while in fuk heads ownership. I got the v5 back from the dva and tried to transfer the reg, but couldn't as it had changed owners. It would had to have still been registered to me on my sorn continually to change the reg. Double fuked!!

 

Anyway I rose above it and chose to ignore him for ages. He arrived at the house one day for something, and was promptly told to get the fuk off my property!

 

Our paths crossed in our local 7/11 about 2 or 3 months ago. Fuk head had the cheek to ask for a waterproof coat back that he loaned my ages ago. Needless to say i was informed that i was no longer welcome in the shop due to my language outburst.

 

Bastard!!

That's simply fraud, did you consider taking it to a solicitor/police?

[Faker]

That's simply fraud, did you consider taking it to a solicitor/police?

Civil matter. Dispute over property is not a criminal matter. When the car was returned the parts were fitted, bar the calipers which are still in their packaging, so they were not stolen so to speak.

[purplebargeken]

 

 

I read Ken's post five times, and still couldn't make much sense of it. 

I was a little puzzled by that. Apologies if it didn't make sense but it was late and I was tired.

 

I thought it ticked all of the AS boxes:

 

A vehicle sold

Lesbians

Small 80's Fiats

A bargetastic Granada