Hypothetical "Which Shite" thread

[MrDuke]

In the unlik... sorry, impossible event that I'm allowed to swap the Ashtray for something shitey, I'd like some fresh thinking as to what I might get.

 

Basically, the reason that I'm unable to get rid of my 52-plate Astravan is that it's: A) supremely reliable and economical, extremely useful for carrying stuff, and C) not particularly embarrassing for Mrs_Duke to be seen driving, or even travelling in. Therefore, if I was ever able to convince her to let me swap it, the other vehicle would have to fit all of the above conditions. As far as my own preference goes, it would have to be: D) rarely seen on UK roads, E) not appallingly slow or cumbersome, and F) reasonably non-rust-prone. RWD would be appreciated, but is not essential.

 

I know that rules out 98.5% of the cars featured on here, but hey - everyone loves a challenge

 

Oh, and after selling the modern, and then placating Mrs_Duke with gifts, I'd have around £1800-ish to waste on suitable chod.

 

By way of gratitude, I offer this photo off teh interwebz:

 

[eddyramrod]

Volvo 740/940 estate. Or any Volvo estate at the same price level really.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

With that sort of money, you can get two cars. A 'washing machine' type one (Corolla? Carisma?) for her and something suitably shite for yourself.

 

In fact, you can get yourself a Scorpio if you're looking for something reliable, RWD, somewhat uncommon, not slow, and not very rust-prone...although it doesn't come with orange seats or other particularly shite/mingebag features.

[MrDuke]

Volvo 740/940 estate. Or any Volvo estate at the same price level really.

 

Out of all the cars I've owned, I miss my 740 saloon more than anything else (apart from the Stanza), and I would own another 740 in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, Mrs_Duke knows just how much fuel they use, so unless I happen upon an LPG jobbie, that's a non-starter

 

 

With that sort of money, you can get two cars. A 'washing machine' type one (Corolla? Carisma?) for her and something suitably shite for yourself.

 

True, but I only have one parking space plus, she doesn't drive regularly enough to justify 2 cars, and at the moment it would be too expensive to tax & insure them both. If my health improves in the next few months, then that would be a definite option, but at the moment I'm kinda limited.

[eddyramrod]

MG Maestro? Montego estate, possibly diesel?

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Don't forget that with old shite you can get classic insurance, likely saving a fair bit of money compared to what you're paying now, and probably making the 2-car solution a viable option, as long as you can sort the parking out.

[R9UKE]

[skoda_fan]

As a newcomer to this site, may I take the liberty of suggesting there's only one car that fits the bill, MrDuke....Favorit Estate! (But then I'm biased!)

[Formula Autos]

Would an old MPV fit the bill?

 

With a little bit of jiggery-pokery to the seats, as handy as a van.The Japanese turned out a few, so you stand a chance of getting something fairly reliable.

 

Like these, for instance:

 

Or you could go down the true Autoshite route and put DIY windows in the back of a grotty old van.

[garethj]

A) supremely reliable and economical, extremely useful for carrying stuff, and C) not particularly embarrassing for Mrs_Duke to be seen driving, or even travelling in. Therefore, if I was ever able to convince her to let me swap it, the other vehicle would have to fit all of the above conditions. As far as my own preference goes, it would have to be: D) rarely seen on UK roads, E) not appallingly slow or cumbersome, and F) reasonably non-rust-prone. RWD would be appreciated, but is not essential.

Fitting all of these is tricky, depends where you put the emphasis. How about:

 

Land Rover Discovery 3 door. Side graphics FTW!!

Obviously you'll take a hit on the "non rust-prone"

 

Mercedes 300, or even 230 for slightly better fuel economy

 

Ye olde Scimitar, there's a bloe on Retro Rides that's put a modernish BMW diesel in his

[Justin Case]

So far A and/or C have ruled out just about everything suggested. So much modern stuff now comes into your price range that I fear that it is only a prime example of futureshite that would keep you both talking to each other

 

With that in mind, may I suggest an early example of this and to have patience while it slowly ascends (or descends if you look at it that way ) the shite scale (definition required?) until you can hold your head up high in shiting circles:

[skoda_fan]

Or you could go down the true Autoshite route and put DIY windows in the back of a grotty old van.

 

That's not grotty...custom Marina van...automotive porn!!!! I think that's the route to go if you don't like the Skoda suggestion

 

Personally I just can't get interested in any ageing Jap stuff. All looks so "throw away" and looks like it should've been!! But that's just me

[MrDuke]

Some good suggestions so far I had considered getting a Japanese van - an '80s Hiace/Space Cruiser or similar would be ideal, and hopefully for that money I could score a fairly non-rotten one. Likewise a Prairie etc, although they're a little thin on the ground now.

4x4s are a no-no (except maybe a lwb Duster ) but a Merc estate might be nice; Favorit or Felicia estate would defiitely appeal but might be a bit on the small side. What I'd really love is a CX, or even a BX estate, but I fear the first breakdown would lead to a swift divorce. At which point I would immediately buy myself a barely roadworthy Lancia Beta Coupe, just cos I could .

[dollywobbler]

I wouldn't recommend a CX. They have really annoying electrical issues. A BX can be as reliable as any car of that era though - it's just a case of getting your head around the hydraulics, which isn't tricky. Their nowhere near as horrifically scary as people make out. Mind you, BX estates seem to be picking up in value. Don't think I'd be able to score another one with MOT for £266 like I did in 2009!

[hhhugues]

I wouldn't recommend a CX. They have really annoying electrical issues. A BX can be as reliable as any car of that era though - it's just a case of getting your head around the hydraulics, which isn't tricky. Their nowhere near as horrifically scary as people make out. Mind you, BX estates seem to be picking up in value. Don't think I'd be able to score another one witMOT for £266 like I did in 2009!

 

In my quality of Frenchman I'd like to concur on the bx being a "sensible" choice. There was still loads of them about in France until the mid-noughties so they must have been reasonably reliable. Especially diesel ones obv.They had a great rep, aside from the love it or hate it (but mostly hate it) design. They were really comfy too. I'd quite like one in fact, after years of despising them...

[lancashireclamper]

Given that the ovlov 740 scored highly how about a Saab of some description?

Maybe a modernish 93 estate, diesel should be fairly painless, or a late 80's 900 might be an appreciating asset though fuel consumption maybe a problem.

[Pete-M]

 

The rot-prone bit has been diverted for a while on this. Most of it is Zintek?

 

I don't want an Astravan though.

[Lacquer Peel]

Volvo 740/940 estate. Or any Volvo estate at the same price level really.

 

Out of all the cars I've owned, I miss my 740 saloon more than anything else (apart from the Stanza), and I would own another 740 in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, Mrs_Duke knows just how much fuel they use, so unless I happen upon an LPG jobbie, that's a non-starter

 

Could you convince her that a diesel one is economical to run?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VOLVO-740-Tur ... 0769884412

[MrDuke]

Volvo 740/940 estate. Or any Volvo estate at the same price level really.

 

Out of all the cars I've owned, I miss my 740 saloon more than anything else (apart from the Stanza), and I would own another 740 in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, Mrs_Duke knows just how much fuel they use, so unless I happen upon an LPG jobbie, that's a non-starter

 

Could you convince her that a diesel one is economical to run?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VOLVO-740-Tur ... 0769884412

 

I possibly could, although that actual example doesn't look quite up to scratch. It would be a big help if they ran on veg juice, no idea if they can though.

 

 

 

 

Oh, you utter, utter git. I really hope that's not up for sale, seriously.

[Lacquer Peel]

Yes the D24 engine runs on veg oil.

I think that one might be better than the listing makes out.