Driving the fun out of motoring.

[wuvvum]

Driving home along the M40 (sat nav directing me to the M25 for some reason, rather that towards the A14

You've probably got the nav set to "use motorway wherever possible". Mine was set to that when I bought it - didn't realise until coming home from Luton it tried to direct me down the M1 to the M25 (in the Innocenti ). I've now got it set somewhere in the middle and it's much more sensible.

[STUNO]

Yeah, same problems here. I've also taken to sitting back and relaxing at 65 or 70 and letting everyone get on with it in their own pointless little worlds.

 

The main one that used to make me laugh was when I used my Pop to get to work. Mainly lanes on the journey. I'd usually get someone sitting right behind me on the straight bits trying to push me to go faster. Er, I'm going as fast as the car goes, it's 60 years old. But then the hilarious thing is I'd lose them on the twisty bits because they'd be too scared to follow me round at the same speed. I'll just remind you again I was in a 60 year old sit-up-and-beg Ford Pop with 4" wide crossplies and cable brakes, and Mr big bully fast Audi was consistently too scared to race me round the bends. Bollocks the size of pin heads, I would imagine.

 

Wrong ! Mr Audi was frightened, but not of the bends but of running over a Pop that fell over on the exit of the bend.

And yes I have owned a pop

[ProgRocker]

Driving home along the M40 (sat nav directing me to the M25 for some reason, rather that towards the A14

You've probably got the nav set to "use motorway wherever possible". Mine was set to that when I bought it - didn't realise until coming home from Luton it tried to direct me down the M1 to the M25 (in the Innocenti ). I've now got it set somewhere in the middle and it's much more sensible.

 

Ah, that sounds like a plausable reason. Thanks, wuvvum.

[jonny69]

Wrong ! Mr Audi was frightened, but not of the bends but of running over a Pop that fell over on the exit of the bend.

And yes I have owned a pop

The cheek of it. I only nearly put it on its side once

[RoadworkUK]

Further to all the above, anybody noticed that recent VW Transporter and Caddy pilots have a spectacular lack of skillorz?

[danthecapriman]

In the latest Autocar Steve Cropley did a piece comparing how he is treated by other motorists when he drives different cars. To paraphrase, he explains that people give him plenty of space when he's in an Audi A6, and sit patiently behind him in the typical 80mph motorway queue, but if he drives his family's old Citroen ZX at the exact same speed, in the exact same circumstances, the car behind invariably pulls in, undertakes and then wedges himself in front, causing Steve to brake hard and the guy following to brake even harder.

 

I notice this mostly when I drive our shat old KA, and sometimes in the Rover. This is inevitable; the Rover 800 is inextricably (though not inexplicably) linked with the more experienced motorist, and a certain amount of dithering is expected whenever you encounter one. But I drive mine in the same way I drive company Mercs, e.g I don't hang about.

 

But here's the rub:- Going fast just isn't fun any more, and my main reason is that there's always some twat who wants to go faster.

 

It's all about people thinking they've got a point to prove. If you overtake somebody they seem to suddenly want to increase their pace to negate the advantage you've gained by the overtake. If they'd been going that fast in the first place I wouldn't have overtaken them. It's happened several times now. You overtake somebody, or sneak out before they pass you so you can avoid getting stuck behind the line of lorries you're approaching, then they narrow the gap as close as they can. So, lacking somewhere to pull in, you give them an extra 10mph to appease them. And he closes the gap again. Pretty soon you're both doing a ton. Neither of you want to be, but at least one of you has a point to prove.

 

Tonight, in the 800 I was driving through a village with a 40mph limit at 42.999 mph. As fast as I could get away with. A 1-series, who's been doing 45 catches up with me just before the end of the village. So, just for fun and because I knew what the outcome would be, I put it in third and floored it as soon as I hit the national speed limit. He was glued to me all the way up to and beyond 70, 80 until my little turning came up.

 

I think it's unlikely that he actually wanted to do 80, he was just spurred on by the idea of an old Rover that had held him up getting one over on him. He was trying to prove a point.

 

And I'm well aware of the irony that I've just started to drive an 800 and I'm complaining that driving fast isn't fun any more...

 

How true is this! Sadly!

 

I get it all the time, my granada seems to be the worst for it though. I think most of the pricks on the road see it as an old car that cant go fast and is therefore an ideal way to make themselves and their own (usually piss poor) choice of car appear superior. Like they get off on trying to prove some sort of bull shitty point!

The thing is, its not slow and can easily keep up with most modern cars at highly illeagal speeds, something several of these muppets have learnt in the past!

I have to drive a large van for work, sometimes with a 2 ton trailer on the back, and still people do this sort of thing! Fuck knows why, but almost every junction some dick will pull out on me, even when theres nothing behind me. On the motorway they overtake then pull back in and slow down, if I try to maintain my speed (restricted to 70 ) and overtake them, they see me coming up and speed up, stopping me overtaking!

 

The best thing I ever did was a few years back, I joined the motorway with some dick in a laguna right up my arse all the way down the slip road, a slower car was already in the left lane on the motorway so I signalled and started to pull out to overtake, laguna man doesnt like this as he wants to go first and trys to pull out quick to overtake me and the slower car. I had other ideas and pulled out anyway! He gets upset and starts tailgating and flashing his lights so I floor it, he follows and we both get to about a ton, all the time he is literally inches from my Volvos back bumper! Me, by now seething with fury with this decides thats it, so I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could! You should have seen his face!! He didnt know what to do! He litterally shit his pants! He slowed down then and pulled into the left lane. I did the same, almost hoping he was going to stop so I could get out and finish the job! Which I was totally up for! Laguna man gets to the next junction and swerves off at the last second, without indicating. Im convinced he was so shit scared he wanted to stop somewhere to let me go and get away from him!

I was pissed off with this tit big time, if I got the chance I would have torn him to bits where he stood! I hate being forced into situations like that and avoid it at all costs now.

Still, I enjoy driving and really try hard not to rise to these twats anymore, and just ignore them. Hard as it is sometimes! If they want to drive like an idiot then let them go. I hate allowing myself to get wound up by them and then it ruins the rest of the journey, its not worth it.

[Albert Ross]

10 years ago I had a 1991 Mercedes 300SE. Big, smooth, quiet, fast....... Well fast enough to piss off Cavaliers etc (that were the chavs weapon of choice back then) I had one tailgating me through a 30mph restriction on the elevated section of the A1 Northbound somewhere near Newcastle. There had been a fire underneath it, and there were bridge repairs anyway. He was about 5 feet off my tail end, and flashing me. With me doing 30, next to a mid size truck, cruise control on... Well I passed the "unrestricted" signs, plopped into Sport mode, and floored it. I slowed down to 70 within about 5 minutes of leaving him in dust, and he caught me about 20 minutes later, only for him to turn off about half a mile later. What a dick.

[Cavcraft]

Someone in an Astra H coupe undertook me today. I hadn't seen it coming so couldn't try and stop the bleeder but thought I'd get him at the roundabout. Alas he nailed it and left me in a cloud of diesel smoke. I wish I could pretend I had him right off but it didn't happen. I'll have the bastard one day though.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Cavette got the 'reaction to tailgaiting' right a few posts (pages?) ago. Just touch the brake pedal and they'll get the point. In my younger days, I have been known to punish tailgaters by performing proper emergency stops from 70-80 and bracing myself for impact! Fortunately, nobody got killed/injured as a result of this.

 

Sterling, the size of the car plays a big part in the sort of behaviour you get from the other drivers. A large car makes them think you've likely got a decent engine, so they feel less inclined to bother you and risk eating humble pie. Furthermore, I reckon that a lot of people think that the driver of an old luxury car (although Rovers are a bit 'special' in that regard because they've always been popular with giffers) as being 'old money' or 'a bit eccentric' whereas a small old car says to the uninitiated things like 'old giffer'/'dole scrounger'/'Romanian immigrant who landed here last Thursday' or perhaps a combination of the above!

 

Irrespective of what I'm driving, I do get a lot of frustrated tailgaters when I'm driving round town. Ironically, it happens as a result of me trying to drive logically and think ahead, something that 95% of drivers out there seem completely incapable of doing. L00K!1! YOU FLIPPIN IDIOT, THE TRAFFIC LIGHT 150m AHEAD IS RED. I don't want to get there doing 35, then come to a complete stop, then have to accelerate away. I will slow down by coasting and braking very lightly along the way, then when it turns green I will only be a few metres from the lights, already doing 7-10mph and will actually manage to maintain a higher average speed than if I'd stopped, in addition to burning less fuel and causing less wear on my clutch/box/engine/brakes. How hard is it to bloody understand that?

[scooters]

Someone in an Astra H coupe undertook me today. I hadn't seen it coming so couldn't try and stop the bleeder but thought I'd get him at the roundabout. Alas he nailed it and left me in a cloud of diesel smoke. I wish I could pretend I had him right off but it didn't happen. I'll have the bastard one day though.

 

 

[scooters]

Another trick is to flick your lights on and off. The rear lights will make it look like you are braking and mummy will react instinctively by doing the same.

 

A traffic polis I know said the number one cause of fatal accidents in the motorway was high speed tail gating. He believes that the best way to educate drivers who get caught doing this is to show them the warehouse where they store the recovered motorway wrecks...I saw this once and it was horrific..I subsequently watched my behaviour behind the wheel. He also thinks that money should be spent reminding people to be considerate...the premace being that the majority of folk are at heart considerate and only need to be reminded.TFL have a campaign of posters in London which say: Look out for each other'

 

very effective use of NLP and it works.

 

I Suggest that the recent trend in aggressive car styling does nothing to help the situation. Designers used to understand this but no longer.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

we both get to about a ton, all the time he is literally inches from my Volvos back bumper! Me, by now seething with fury with this decides thats it, so I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could!

 

Jesus Christ.

 

What if that stunt went wrong?

[dollywobbler]

Yeah, slamming the anchors on when someone's tailgating you is a recipe for an accident. Not wise. I learnt this when dealing with a tailgating 7.5 tonner when I had my first 2CV. Truck went skidding across the road and I realised just how stupid I had been. A flash of the brake lights is one thing, but just getting out of their way is probably the safest answer.

[Cavcraft]

Another trick is to flick your lights on and off. The rear lights will make it look like you are braking and mummy will react instinctively by doing the same.

 

 

Did this many years back in my Cortina on the M53. Left hand lane was busy so I'm in the right hand one (it's a two lane motorway) doing 80 odd when some fat old duffer got right behind me in his Granada flashing the lights. I couldn't get in the nearside lane and wanted this twerp off my tail so I flicked the fog light switch up then hit the lights. He saw the fog light, assumed I was braking and he slammed on the anchors big time. It was very, very funny at the time and he caught me up by a roundabout and was threatening to beat me up/call the police/flicked me the Vs and w*nker sign etc. Then I spied my arse, got out the car with the door open and engine running, and legged it over to him. His bottle went and he drove up the kerb and zoomed down the bypass with me running after him. I called that a draw. I made him look a twit on the motorway, he made me look like an idiot at the roundabout

 

Oh, incidentally (from experience) I find the one who cut you up/tailgate you/drive like fools and then gesticulate for you to pull over are 99.9% of the time the least likely to actually get out of their car and go toe to toe on the hard shoulder. This especially included fat, sweaty, bacon butty raping fridge truck drivers on the A5 near Oswestry.

[Guest Len H]

 

 

This is the correct way to deal with tailgaters.

[overheadvalve]

Wow, so it's not just me and my age/ lack of tolerance then.

It is also the important company car drivers in their 318/320's and VW/Audi drivers in general in this area that drive in a similar fashion, tailgating etc. I sort of despise Vag products and most BMW's because of this! (well the drivers at least) I have in the past at least partly blamed the fact that most of them do it because they don't have to pay for the fuel they are burning.

Undertaking is rife on any dual carigeway in the midlands, i suppose it's worse where there are more "important types"

I when i drive any of my cars usually drive at about 60/65 simply because the economy is great, i can get well over 50 out of the Rover derv and well over 40 out of the 200. The wife's Bini will easily acheive the manufacturers stated fuel economy figures if i drive in a slightly sympathetic manner.

By the way, i didn't want to buy the Bini at all because of it's connections to the Parent company, it still grates with me for numerous reasons one of which is everyone who is (just a) registered keeper of a new (!!!) Bmw is a complete c*ck as are 99% of vag group drivers in cars under or around 3 years old.

Fun? yes Cropley is right, it's gone, partly because of the price of fuel and motoring in general which in my book is down to the company car driver. The first thing i would do if i were in government would be to tax the shit out of them. I would possiblr attempt to put a tachograph type of device in every car under 5 years old, which is a plan, an unworkable plan because no one would be buying new cars then would they ?

[Cavcraft]

I expect lots of company vehicle drivers are like this. When you see some shiney suited turd whizzing down the M6 at 120mph he's probably chasing his next big sale of paper clips to some meaningless company in Milton Keynes or something.

Occasionally you can be subjected to a conversation between these ponces in service areas as they try to out do each other with tales of '150k orders to bluechip companies' just before they launch into some a boring report of how their new 371 iSe GT Cockwand has cruise control seats and leather bumwipes in the glovebox.

[Justin Case]

The only people who need cars for work other than the medical professions are reps and service engineers. As most reps have been replaced by the internet and service engineers by throw-away devices, there should be hardly any of them on the road in any case. For the rest the solution is quite simple; the people who need cars should find a Focus or similar estate more than adequate, therefore tax relief shouldn't be given for anything more expensive, eliminating at a stroke the £30k+ BMWs and Audis. Their drivers are such tightwads that they always go for the eco eco diesel for the low tax, so they are hardly likely to cough up the extra out of their own designer wallets are they?

 

Job done and the joys of motoring resume

[scaryoldcortina]

Hmm, tachographs in company cars.. I have a better idea. Company cars are not really different to company vans - it's still a work vehicle, and many firms have no problem with fitting GPS logging and cameras to the vans so they can monitor driver performance, so why not do that with the company cars?

 

FWIW, looking at a gps log of your driving over a medium to long term is quite interesting regardless of how well you think you drive.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

This company car subsidy madness needs to come to an end. Even with today's throwaway design, the 4-year depreciation/amortisation for tax purposes is completely bonkers. It screams '1978'- whoever designed it must have been thinking of some poorly-made BL shite or some FIATs that you could hear rusting in the dealer showroom.

 

When large private companies such as First and Stagecoach happily run 17-year-old buses for 14 hours every day, the state actively encourages people (employers, employees or the self-employed) to get rid of a Mondeo or a 3-series that stays parked for at least 18 (and up to 23) hours each day after only 3 years of ownership. Better still, the environmentalists, being the bunch of wankers that they are, cheer on that policy because it fills up the roads with cars that produce more cancerous diesel particulates and less food for trees (CO2)!

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

For the rest the solution is quite simple; the people who need cars should find a Focus or similar estate more than adequate

 

Nail on the head. Tax relief should be limited to a list price of about 20k. Nowadays even a Corsa/Yaris has more than enough space for 4 people and can be specified with climate control, cruise control, satnav and all the things that make long journeys easier. Can't see why we have to subsidise idiots in A6s.

[scaryoldcortina]

More than enough space in a yaris? I tested a 4 door d4d thing the other week - It's tiny! If you want boot space you have to wind the back seat forward so it touches the fronts. 4 smallish people OR 2 and some (but not much) luggage. Also, going on the brake test weight, it's about as heavy as my sierra sapphire.

[dollywobbler]

I kind of see where Luxo's coming from. If you jump up to the Golf class, I was amazed to discover that my sister's VW Golf has as much space in the back as my Saab 9000 - and many more toys! Mind you, it's probably about the same size overall...

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Yes, I didn't say space for people AND luggage. You only need that on a family holiday! If you're travelling for work, chances are you're either going on a longish trip on your own (or with max one more person) or you are taking a couple of colleagues across town for a meeting. Of course, there's a 5% of journeys that's not covered by the above, but I can think of better ways for taxpayer money to be spent on.

[scaryoldcortina]

True enough, but what about the boot? Most modern hatches seem to have just enough space for a man-size box of Kleenex. Ever looked in the boot of a citroen C2 or C3 and wondered where the space the AX and ZX had went?

 

Holidays only? rubbish. Try taking both kids and the missus to ASDA for the shopping. You can't get a months worth into a modern car full of people, you might not even fit a weeks worth in. This means you shop more often and drive further.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

haha that is true, too, but I wouldn't expect you to take the accounting manager shopping to the local Aldi! You can still fit 4 briefcases/laptop bags in there.

[Justin Case]

or you are taking a couple of colleagues across town for a meeting.

 

Just the thing that we are objecting to our taxes being spent on subsidising. If there were less meetings then the country wouldn't be going down the pan, as folk would be getting on with their jobs and producing something, and a lot of traffic would be off the roads, less congestion, pollution, 320ED BMWs, etc, etc

 

Anyway, I'm off to the grumpy thread; it's more cheerful there

[scaryoldcortina]

Meh. If they have laptops they should be video conferencing instead of pissing about driving around town.

[chaseracer]

Ever looked in the boot of a citroen C2 or C3 and wondered where the space the AX and ZX had went?

C1/C2, shirley? Domestic Management (a music teacher) chose the C3 because it had a bigger boot than the Panda and Micra that preceded it.

[Guest Len H]

Ever looked in the boot of a citroen C2 or C3 and wondered where the space the AX and ZX had went?

C1/C2, shirley? Domestic Management (a music teacher) chose the C3 because it had a bigger boot than the Panda and Micra that preceded it.

 

The C1 is a Toyota, C2 is the 3 door version of the C3 I think.

 

The newer PSA motors have conventional dead axles and bootspace eating coil springs/struts at the back now don't they?