'Celebrity' shite confession!

[bigstraight6]

On last Saturday evenings truly awful 'celebrity' Mr & Mrs programme, the dashing debonair cheeky girl besoted Liberal democrat politician 'Lemsip Opaque' confessed to his ownership of a Vauxhall Chavalier with 375,000 miles on the clock, much to the embarresment of said cheeky girl

[mouseflakes]

When he was a student he had a Kawazaki Z1300.

[Marty]

Not being funny, but what does she see in a man called Lemsip? Perhaps she has the decent motor?

[reallyloud]

She's a burd from Romania isn't she? I'd have thought an expired Cavalier would be luxury compared to a Dacia. My missus has Croatian connections and is positively baffled by my interest in old Zastavas.

[Spottedlaurel]

Do we know what sort of Cavalier? It’d be nice to think it was a Mk1 1300 2dr, but doing 375k in that would be hard going. Maybe a Mk2 estate? Again, optimistic. Probably just some dull old Mk3.Was it Harriet Harman who had the Rover 800? Any other politicos known to have shite (and not proper classic) leanings?

[Marty]

When Uncle Tone came into office he had a Montego Countryman Estate. I see he soon binned that

[monzaE]

While we are on the topic of celebrity related shite.... 1. I once bought a 74 Mini from the lead singer of Candlewick Green. You probably remember them from their Opportunity Knocks win in 1974? 2. What happened to the Autoshite celebrity called McQueenmachine? I bet you still have a sneaky look now and then Steve?

[pogweasel]

2. What happened to the Autoshite celebrity called McQueenmachine? I bet you still have a sneaky look now and then Steve?

Too busy being "the voice of automotive reason" on the Jeremy Vine radio program I think.

[outlaw118]

From The Independent site:Touch my clutchTasked with bridging the emotional gulf between his 25-year-old Cheeky Girlfriend, Gabriela Irimia, and his prized Vauxhall Cavalier Diesel, Lembit Opik has refused to ditch the motor. Ms Irimia dislikes arriving at paparazzi parties in the steamed-up, green love wagon. But her MP boyfriend, 42, tells Pandora: "The Vauxhall Cavalier Diesel is one of the finest cars ever built. Mine has 369,000 miles on the clock and I've had it for 11 years. I regard it as an antique. It might not fit the pop star image now, but one day Gabriela will regard this as a classic car. It could be the E-type Jag of its generation." He is considering contacting Jeremy Clarkson about taking the Cavalier on Top Gear.Some 80 days ago a newspaper claimed the vehicle had done 250,000 miles. The diary desk's tea-encrusted calculator suggests that Lembit would have since had to drive non-stop, day and night, at 62mph for this to be accurate. Pull over!The Guardian, (Arts supplement!)I do warm to Lembit when he admits to driving an ancient Vauxhall Cavalier. But Gabriela hates it, and he's having to trade it in for a Volvo. Just as he traded in his old weather girl (born 1958) for his new Cheeky Girl (born 1982).No pictures I'm afraid!

[bones96]

i wouldnt trade a cheeky girl for a volvo

[Karmann Ghiaman]

What is the point of going on about the Cheeky Girls without posting any images of them?

 

This one seems reasonable:

 

 

On the other hand, have you ever seen their mother? An absolute dog. Wonder if it's occurred to Lemsip that 'his' CG will, in due course, turn into the same?

 

Anyway, there they are - and good news! You can't hear their horrid squealy voices. You need only ogle their finer points.

[mcqueenmachine]

If I wasn't a 'gobby Northern gobshite' (copyright 'Motorcycle News') I might be hurt by some of the comments on here about my 'valued' contributions to The Jeremy Vine Show on R2. I've also been amused by the enthusiasm for James May. You so want him to like you - I can smell it.However, despite seeming to be exactly the sort of bumbling, very English eccentric that might 'get' the Meaning Of 'Shite', he blotted his copybook when he spent a chunk of the vast sums the BBC and various corporate types are shovelling into his bank account on....a Porsche Boxster. Not a Bristol. Not a Facel Vega. Not a Bentley Turbo R.No, a brand new Boxster which - round these parts - is the sort of motor bought by heavily-Boxtoxed, plastic-titted ladies whose hubby spends his days shagging Cheeky Girl look-a-like Rumanian hookers and finding out how many Polish guestworkers he can squeeze into one of his terraced houses.I laugh in the face of other pretenders to the title of 'Autoshite Celeb' with this list. 1988 Mercedes 560SEC1977 Mercedes 350 SE (same colour as Clarkson's 600)2001 Alfa 166 2.5 Sportronic (ubershite)1971 Alfa Spider 2000 Veloce1993 BMW 525 TDS (possibly the best car I've ever owned - though it pains me to admit it)1967 Ford Mustang Coupe (the Mcqueenmachine)1979 Ford F150 4x41992 Toyota Carina E Gli (yes, really-brilliant car) 1993 Cagiva 900 Elefant2001 Aprlia Habana1986 Suzuki DR3501967 Airstream Overlander Landyacht InternationalBeat that Mr James May! Come and have a go if you think you're 'Shite enough Mr. Chris Barrie!!

[Jazzy Jeff]

1992 Toyota Carina E Gli (yes, really-brilliant car)

GR8 4 MINICABINI don't think I've read much on here in praise of James May or the rest of Top Gear's adolescent mental aged presenting staff. To be honest the idea of trashing a perfectly nice Austin Princess or a Lancia Beta (ok that wasn't very perfect) in the name of entertainment is so abhorent it's practically heresy.

[mk2_craig]

1967 Airstream Overlander Landyacht International

 

Beat that Mr James May!

 

[Richard]

Are you a celebrity then, Mr mcqueenmachine?

[Split_Pin]

Does the fact that Madonnas new video shows her dancing on top of a an Arrow-Series Humber, Dolomite, Renault 25 and other quality tat count as celebrity shite??

[Marty]

1986 Suzuki DR350

Beat that Mr James May! Come and have a go if you think you're 'Shite enough Mr. Chris Barrie!!

McQueenMachine sez "Last one to the top is a floppy haired p00f"

 

You lucky bugger - I so want a dirt bike - instead I have a dirty bike (cos I haven't washed it)

 

Bet JM wouldn't know what to do with one.

[Richard]

I used to work beside a guy who has a dirt bike. He spends quite a lot of his life in plaster.

[bigstraight6]

On the other hand, have you ever seen their mother? An absolute dog. Wonder if it's occurred to Lemsip that 'his' CG will, in due course, turn into the same?

Wise words and bang on the money Mr KG, a moose in the making

[mcqueenmachine]

I don't know if this has been discussed before but there seems to be two distinct groups on here. 1. Group one. Younger and probably living in the South East. Like Renaults . Can take it a bit too seriously. Like to post, reply to each others posts and end up with threads that come across as cliquey. 2. Group Two. Old buggers. Mainly in North or Mids. Like big luxo-barges - Alfa 164, Merc 126 S-Class, BMW E28. Been there, done that, T-shirt acquired and subsequently recycled as polishing cloth . Less likely to get exercised by 'Clarkson & Co' smashing up old nonsense. Will contribute to a thread regardless of OP.Not a bad thing necessarily, but its there...

[Marty]

You get that pretty much everywhere though.Work, web forums, the pub. Its just life I suppose.People should hug each other more is what I say.EDIT- just as an aside really, I have met Chris Barrie and thought he was OK (it was during the filming of Coming Next - so it was early on in his telly life), fair enough he doesnt weild the gas axe like some telly celebs would in their spare time, but by his own admission he isnt as mechanically gifted as some are - and lets face it if we all had the cash wouldnt most of use pay someone else to get oily?Well OK then, perhaps thats just me. But then if I had the sort of money Chris Barrie has I would be wasting it on fast women and loose cars and bikes. Just to go slightly OT - does anyone know the make of bike some Indian firm was churning out several years ago with a Diesel cement mixer engine in it - sounds seriously horrid and suitable autoshite material. Cant says I gets terribly arsed about people wrecking stuff on the telly though some of its genuine stuff, some of its stuff made to look good, some of its totally mocked up stuff. I even emailed TG to see if they would buy my BX and blow it up, but they didnt - so it got sold to a bloke in Devon who had more money than sense in my opinion.Cant really says I have noticed a Clique, but then I am not the master of subtlty.

[Guest]

Oh dear! I'm 23 and I firmly fit the criteria of "old buggers".

[Renault18]

I don't know if this has been discussed before but there seems to be two distinct groups on here.

 

1. Group one. Younger and probably living in the South East. Like Renaults . Can take it a bit too seriously. Like to post, reply to each others posts and end up with threads that come across as cliquey.

 

2. Group Two. Old buggers. Mainly in North or Mids. Like big luxo-barges - Alfa 164, Merc 126 S-Class, BMW E28. Been there, done that, T-shirt acquired and subsequently recycled as polishing cloth . Less likely to get exercised by 'Clarkson & Co' smashing up old nonsense. Will contribute to a thread regardless of OP.

 

Not a bad thing necessarily, but its there...

Oi!

 

You cheeky sod, I'm from Sandbach and I love Renaults (Sandbach is in Cheshire and not one of the snooty bits that gets into Cheshire life - near Crewe, as in Railway)

 

At 37, I now officially class myself as an old bugger and therefore have added an old-type Megane Coupe to my fleet in order to assure myself that fatness and baldness are on final approach. Also quite excited by the three restored Ferguson tractors parked outside my neighbours house on Sunday, but I'll get over it.

 

Finally, Renault owners, cliquey. . .

 

They've got to be, they've got no other friends

[garethj]

does anyone know the make of bike some Indian firm was churning out several years ago with a Diesel cement mixer engine in it - sounds seriously horrid and suitable autoshite material.

Was it Royal Enfield? A few conversions here: http://www.dieselbike.net/currentconversions.htm

Cant really says I have noticed a Clique

Nor me. I just come here to read the funny stuff to be honest

[Marty]

does anyone know the make of bike some Indian firm was churning out several years ago with a Diesel cement mixer engine in it - sounds seriously horrid and suitable autoshite material.

Was it Royal Enfield? A few conversions here: http://www.dieselbike.net/currentconversions.htm

My god there are some horrid examples there "235cc and a TOP speed of 25MPH!

I think this is what i was thinking about:

But no longer in production due to frames breaking

[r.welfare]

I think Our Man's observation is quite astute, really, although as a young Southerner who isn't crazy on Renners and likes E28s (and would love another 528i provided it had a dogleg manual ZF box, LSD, solid door frames & jacking points, and unworn seats) I'm confused as to which category I fall into...I think this is the least-prejudiced and friendliest forum out there, not tainted by nurks who type in TXT SPK. Yes, some people do post a lot (me included), but we're all united by the common goal of having no hesitation in getting rid of all our collective automotive crud just to own a Talbot Tagora.Also, I don't think there's actually been any slating of McQM's input on the Jeremy Vine show - quite the opposite, or am I missing summat? Don't listen to the show myself - I would tune in if his brother Tim hosted it. King Of The One-Liner.Looking forward to seeing Opik's Cav appear on eBay at a suitable huge markup soon then!

[fotorabia]

Due to being filed Lost in Colonies i have no idea what the shite your all on about..but something to do with celebs n cars..so ill give u my 10 cents worth [about 4p]..back in the 70s i lived in a hotel up in the Highlands where me Mum was the cook..the owner of the hotel was a flash bastard and drove a 302 Boss Mustang..outrageously fast i might add on single track roads....u could here it coming from miles away..anyways...when Opec decided u couldnt afford 8mpg anymore he took it down to Glasgow and sold it..returning with a P5 Rover Coupe and a purple Scimitar.Later on we heard that one of the Bay City Rollers bought it and mowed down an old lady on a suburban street and got done for vehicular manslaughter....probably once of their last hits...

[Mr Lobster]

I don't know if this has been discussed before but there seems to be two distinct groups on here. 1. Group one. Younger and probably living in the South East. Like Renaults . Can take it a bit too seriously. Like to post, reply to each others posts and end up with threads that come across as cliquey. 2. Group Two. Old buggers. Mainly in North or Mids. Like big luxo-barges - Alfa 164, Merc 126 S-Class, BMW E28. Been there, done that, T-shirt acquired and subsequently recycled as polishing cloth . Less likely to get exercised by 'Clarkson & Co' smashing up old nonsense. Will contribute to a thread regardless of OP.Not a bad thing necessarily, but its there...

Oi Part Two ! I'm very firmly from the North - the sunny utopia of Lancashire - and am very much liking of Renaults. For me 33 is fast approaching which is why my normal mode of transport is now an 04 Seat Toledo Turbo for fast comfy cruising towards oldness I'd agree with r.welfare though as this is without doubt one of the friendliest forums I have seen with almost everyone to a man united in the shared love of old tat.Can't say I've noticed any cliqueyness on here though!

[M'coli]

Due to being filed Lost in Colonies i have no idea what the shite your all on about..but something to do with celebs n cars..so ill give u my 10 cents worth [about 4p]..back in the 70s i lived in a hotel up in the Highlands where me Mum was the cook..the owner of the hotel was a flash bastard and drove a 302 Boss Mustang..outrageously fast i might add on single track roads....u could here it coming from miles away..anyways...when Opec decided u couldnt afford 8mpg anymore he took it down to Glasgow and sold it..returning with a P5 Rover Coupe and a purple Scimitar.Later on we heard that one of the Bay City Rollers bought it and mowed down an old lady on a suburban street and got done for vehicular manslaughter....probably once of their last hits...

Ah, the Highlands! One of my favourite parts of the world, and now with probably the best driving roads in the country so long as you'vre not trapped behind a caravan!What hotel was it?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

If this place is cliquey, its probably cos we've only got about 20 members! Theres probably loads more out there who have asked to join but have not recieved the approval email, unlike regular contributors 'zzzhorsecockXXXX365141' and 'teenpr0ngetabigerection719v1agra'.