Worst towing experience?

[Lankytim]

I have no scary towing stories to speak of (unbelievably) so i'll recycle someone elses.

 

A mechanic mate of mine told me a story once, He had a big old VW LT van that he used for going to breakdowns e.t.c. One day he was on the M42 towing an empty trailer on the way to collect a MK2 escort. This particular section the M42/A42 is made from concrete with rubber expansion strips every 100 yards or so. The constant BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... seemed to set up some strange oscillation between the van and the trailer, with both lurching upwards at the same time. Suddenly the tow bar sheared off the van and the trailer gently glided across lane 2, ploughed through 50 yards of gravel and came to rest against the armco.

 

My pal immediately parked up on the hard shoulder and pondered his next move. It was then he noticed the stationary traffic on the other side of the motorway. To cut a long story short, the gravel the trailer threw up showered onto traffic on the opposite side, a number of windscreens were broken and a discovery flipped over taking evasive action, hospitalising the family inside and closing the M42. Oops! The police were understanding as he wasn't to know the bolts holding the towbar onto the van were going to crack and break but he still ended up in court and received a £1000 fine. He was going to appeal, but was told not to as the court had forgotten to add a mandatory 6 point penalty- if he were to go back to court they may remember and add them on too.

[michiel]

Towing? Towing is for amateurs!

 

 

 

I have no stories and felt left out...

 

[oldford]

One Friday afternoon in 1984, I was in a non running B reg 1.3L MK III Escort (a Europcar one, so why the hell we didn't get the AA to recover it, I'll never know), getting towed on the end of a 6 foot rope that was attached to his V reg Renault 20. Outside lane of the A12 at 70mph, I got a funny look from an old boy in a Metro as we flew past him. After getting back with it, I was off out again down to Chelmsford in an A reg Montego to swap if for a Renault 25 (B46MLK).

 

Had a similar experience to Trigger crossing the A12, as a passenger in a MK 2 Cortina. A very cold winters night, a rotten untaxed Cortina with a failing alternator, no heater and a bin liner where the sunroof used to be. We were crossing the A12 on a blindish hill and as my friend was changing gear the gear lever came off in his hand, we were frantically trying to get it in in the face of oncoming traffic and just made it.

[MrDuke]

Only a few months back, a mate was towing me back from the car park where I was stranded, to his house, which was less than 4 miles through town. However, being scared of Plod, he decided to drive up onto the A55, carry on to the next junction, then leave and drive home. If stopped, he could tell them I had broken down on the A55 and he was towing me out of the way

My battery was completely and totally flat, we tried towing around the car park in gear to power up the lights, but no joy. So, eventually we set out, using a 5-foot rope, late at night with no lights on my car at all. On the A55, his Hiace van goes straight up to 65, and all I can see is the van doors and his rear lights. As I can't tell where we are, I'm waiting for his brake lights so I can dive on the brakes myself (I don't care if it gives him whiplash, I just don't want to rear-end him). How I made it home I'll never know, at least 3 times I was inches away from his bumper with my foot on the floor and my arse-cheeks tight enough to crack walnuts.

 

I've only ever towed someone else once. I clearly explained exactly what he should do, used loads of rope, and never went above 30... the twat still managed to nearly break the tow-loops at every single junction, he ran over the rope at least twice. Then complained about my driving afterwards Never, ever again.

[RichL]

LOL at Pete-M's stories. Nearly fell off my chair

Was towed once about 7 years ago and vowed never again. The garage I worked for at the time had taken a shagged out Bluebird in part ex for a Saab 9 5. Dickhead salesman had driven the old Bluey a couple of miles back to work after delivering the new Saab and deemed it to be a runner. Couple of days later I get the job of driving it to the scrappy, and after a jump start all seemed well and even then I had a soft spot for the old Nissan. It died a mile away an demanded a tow, which came courtesy of a then nearly new Transit Di Turbo. I had no brakes. No PAS. Nearly flat tyres. Transit just kept pulling away as if there was nothing there.

[worldofceri]

A couple of years ago I broke down in an 18 ton Iveco about 10 mins from the yard at the end of a twelve hour shift. It was a Friday.

 

After about forty minutes waiting for recovery to arrive, two Highways Agency bods turned up in their luminous Mitsubishi Shogun.

 

WOC: "Hello."

HATO: "Hello. Have you broken down?"

WOC: "Yes. How did you guess?"

HATO: "Hmm... you're in a running lane here." (it was a slip road.) "Will it move at all?"

WOC: "Not under it's own steam. I don't know what's wrong. Recovery should be here soon."

HATO: "Are you loaded?"

WOC: "No, empty."

HATO: "I'd like to tow you somewhere safer using my amazingly powerful and not to mention luminous with flashing lights Mitsubishi Shogun."

WOC (Under breath): "FFS."

 

The lorry weighs about 7 tons unladen and in retrospect I should have refused to be towed on safety grounds, although the Shogun didn't seem to have any trouble pulling me a couple of hundred yards, even, as it was, slightly uphill.

 

To cut a short story long, once towed onto a minor road I had great difficulty explaining to the recovery bloke (and later the agency driver sent to wait with the lorry so that I could go home) where I was, and ended up walking about half a mile in the pissing rain to find him. Clocked off at 9pm, over two and a half hours after stopping.

[catsinthewelder]

I've been on the end of a tow-pole a few times the first was worrying, 60mph, 6' pole HiJet

 

The worst evening involved dragging a dead Megane 10 miles in the dark with no electics with an illegal Espace that had just arrived via flea-bay. We got near the edge of town, dropped off the Megane in order to look for a trailer board, which had gone astray from the store at work it turned out. Stopping off on the way back, the Espace refused to start. So I tried to bump start it in reverse, this led to ramming the Megane in the dark and wedging the two cars together on a blind corner in pitch darkness. With the goodwill of a few passing drivers that I'd managed to flag down before they joined the pile we pushed them apart and started the MPV and dumped the Hatch somewhere safer.

 

2 years and 3 engines later I gave up on the wretched Megane and gave it to a friend. It was being stored at another friends house and the battery had gone flat so we decided to tow start it with the 205

 

 

1st attempt ....fail,

 

2nd .............fail lets try a

 

3rd, ............not much friction, I think that must have worked, check mirror,whys it back there? FUCKSTICKS that's my rear bumper that its wearing, didn't notice that there was rot in the rear chassis rail where the towing eye was.

 

Gave both cars away and got the BX through freecycle within a month

[Andrew353w]

Excellent thread! I used an "A" frame a great deal until I sold my faithful Skoda Fun and all my recoveries were uneventful, except one...

 

I made my way to from Barnet to Luton in December last year (2009) to collect a dead Citroen Xsara 2 litre. The weather was bad, but eventually everything was coupled up and I set off. The area of Luton from which I was leaving was Stopsley, on the top of a hill near Luton, so I decided to take the A505 to Hitchin and then come down the M1, to avoid the hill. Perhaps I ought to have studied the maps more carefully, as the A505 is quite hilly... As I drove sedately down a long hill approaching a roundabout there was a "clunk" followed by the view in my rear view mirror of the Citroen sliding to the right and forcing the rear of my Fun in the same direction (HELP!!!) By G-E-N-T-L-E braking I brought everything to a halt, straddling 1 1/2 lanes of the approach to the roundabout. My anal canal was telling me it needed emptying, to say the least, but it's amazing how, when "the chips are down" one switches to "autopilot"! I jumped from the Fun and with almost super-human effort pushed the Citroen away from the Fun, so as I was blocking only one lane. Traffic could then pass. I did up the "A" frame properly and set off back to Barnet, completing the rest of the journey without incident. Later I had a sort of flashback of the incident, which frightened me quite a bit!

 

I don't know about the rest to the Autoshite community, but I reckon that those of us who become involved with towing manage to get through hugely stressful incidents, and it's only later that the reality of "what might have been" comes back to haunt us.......

[Guest]

My only towing story would be overloading a little car trailer and having one wonkey wheel, which shook the nuts off one by one. Would've changed it but spare was flat, no pump and no jack anyway, got 60 miles into a 100 mile trip and heard the trailer hit the road.

While seeing the wheel disappear under a passing police car.

And I wasn't insured either.

 

I was absolutely bricking it but now I find it quite funny as I never got stopped about it or anything. I de-plated the trailer, left it there and came back a week later at late o'clock and emptied it.

[blackbart]

mine happened about 20 years ago. me and a friend had been out tatting all day in birmingham. we would always find one or two cars to either sell on or scrap. this day we found a crusty old jag in a front garden and after knocking the door a price was agreed with the old boy. so all was well and it was going to be a nice little earner. we were driving a citroen bx estate in shite beige.

so out came the towrope, which was then attatched to the rusty old jag. then we attempted the 20 odd mile drive back to coventry. the jag had been sitting for years and nearly everthing had either seized or was falling off. adding to this my mate always tried to put the shits up me by driving like a madman, and he was succeeding, my knuckles were white and my arse cheeks were glued together. (which was a good job or the cream seats would have been getting a brown makeover).

then we had the daunting task of crossing a dual carriageway to a central reservation before joining the other dual carriageway south. with my mouth drier than a nuns crotch we waited for a suitable break in the rush hour 70 mph traffic. im sure my mate thought the traffic was only going around 5 mph, and so when a suitable gap came in the traffic of around 5 feet the idiot decided to pull out. resulting in an almighty thumping sound which would have awoke the dead. the result being my front wheels had seized and locked on.

trying desperately to pull me from a certain death the towrope decided to snap as well. then with a screech of brakes the 3 black limos that were about to cut my car in half just managed to pull up inches from my door.

suddenly out of the first of the 3 cars, jumped 4 blokes in black suits.

'oh shit i thought i was going to be on the wrong side of a hiding to hell from the mafia'. and yes they had handheld radios as well. they started screaming down their radios whilst shouting at me to get out of the f@@king way.

i wound the window down and tried to explain to them that the last time this jag had driven under its own steam we were still using petrol ration coupons.

after a few more choice words and a 2 mile tailback behind me, and after around ten minutes of ruining their nice new suits they pushed the jag onto the grass verge.

at this point the sweat was p@@sing out of every orafice on my body. then without a bye or leave and while still frantically shouting on their radios, they got back in the first of the 3 limos and pulled off very gingerly as i tried to crack a smile to them. as the second car past the middle aged man and woman in it seemed to have enjoyed the whole saga, and gave me a smile as they past.

jesus bloody christ, it was only the queen and prince philip, and im sure they were regretting the fact that they had never ever had the pleasure of a day out tatting and being on tow. sometimes us lowly peasants don't have such a bad life after all

[michael1703]

I got offered another 400e thames van,my dad said he would tow me with a solid bar behind my mk2 transit, 25 miles of sheer fright

 

There was no brakes at all, no brake pipes,no handbrake or cable,gear linkage wasn't connected so couldn't shove it in to gear either

 

No horn to beep,no lights to flash,no heat and it was a freezing night

 

The solid bar was a bad fit on the towing eye on the 400e and instead of staying straight,went diagonal and made graunchy noises

[Spiny Norman]

I once agreed to tow a mate's Renault 5 to a garage in the south side of Glasgow. It wasn't far, maybe 3 or 4 miles, and we did it at about 9pm when the roads were abit quieter.

It wasn't a heavy car so it was fairly easy and we were soon bowling along a main road when I suddenly saw the little R5's headlamps lurch sideways and a loud 'BANG' along with the jolt as the tow rope broke.

 

When I got out to see what the problem was, his R5 had turned into a 3 wheeler. One of the front wheels had come off the car and bounced away into the distance, leaving the brake disc to carve a groove into Albert Drive that was still there 5 years later!

Turned out some of the little scrotes where he lived had taken off the car's hubcaps, loosened the wheelnuts, and replaced the hubcap afterwards so there was no outward signs of damage. The car was being moved because it had a gearbox fault so my mate had just put the slight rattling sound made by the loose wheelnuts inside the wheel down to the crunchy gearbox.

 

Little scrotes were later found and remonstrated with...

[dieselnutjob]

early nineties

wrote two cars off (one mine, one innocent)

damaged trailer one week before owner needed it for RAC rally (he was competing)

 

deeply unpleasant and embarrassing experience

[Ben_L]

Being towed by the RAC.

 

The Cavalier had run out of Petrol last year so I called the RAC (They're getting bored of my phone calls now, I can tell!)

 

Man comes, diagnoses no fuel and offers to run to the petrol station and buy me some petrol. I said no, I'd rather fill it and red-ex it as well, so he tows me... We get into Waterbeach, near Cambridge and then onto the A10. He sees a gap in the traffic and heads for the central reservation and stops... Leaving me blocking the southbound A10!!!! I beeped and flashed the lights, other half thoughtfully switched on the hazard warning flashers (Which is pointless in sunshine when your side repeater is the size of a 1p piece!), he actually got out and asked what the problem was, saw the queue and jumped back in his van quicker than I've ever seen! Was hilarious! Then off we went to BP in Landbeach... Didn't even bother doing the survey thing! I told him that I wasn't happy, went to start the car and the battery was dead (Due to the Hazard warning lights being on for 2+ hours and me trying to start the car a few times). After moaning at him, collared him, got him to give me the jump pack and then told my now ex off for flattening the battery by using said warning lights (for all of 30 seconds).

 

What a day that was :/

[bub2006]

An old work mate said he had a fiesta mk1 he had broke and said if I towed what was left to breakers I could keep it. Being 17 I jumped at the chance of a quick buck. Using my highly illegal pug 205 diesel I towed the fiesta from Codnor to somercotes via golden valley hill. If anyone knows the road it is relatively steep. The fiesta didn't seem to have a towing eye or brakes or lights or hazards. Come to think of it,it had nothing. The bloke in the fezzy didn't even have a license let alone be towed before. I tied rope through the slam panel and bumper of the fiesta and away we went. All went fine till and I was amazed at the grunt the little diesel had. Thought I'd best go through industrial estate and down the lane rather than going through the side streets. Bloody glad I did. I pulled out of the junction and set off down the industrial estate,cursory glance in the mirror and all seemed well. Then I heard a scraping noise and glanced in mirror again to see no fiesta there. He was overtaking me. I was mildly impressed as I was doing nearly 40 and the fiesta had no engine. Sudden reality check told me he had no brakes. I had to floor the pug to get round him and let him run into the back of me. The whole front end of the fiesta had pulled off. He said when I pulled out the junction he heard a creaking noise then started to gain momentum. I had a steel bar still on back of the Peugeot with a piece of rope on the end with more or less a full front end of a fiesta dragging along the floor.

[richardthestag]

I have just four tales related to this thread and they span across 4 decades .

 

The first was in dads Vauxhall FD 2000 estate back in the early 70’s, I was but a nipper. It broke down with all us in the car on cross country journey home to Gloucester. We got towed by the RAC to the nearest hotel but couldn’t afford to stay so all 5 of us slept in the car. Next morning dad called his mechanic chap who came out, diagnosed a buggered diff and offered to tow us the 40 or so miles home. All went well until we got to Birdlip hill. The root cause of the diff problem turned out to be a borked rear bearing, it failed completely and allowed the halfshaft and o/s/r wheel to float free of the car, severing brakes as it went. No foot brake, no handbrake and no engine braking thanks to one half shaft missing and an ever so slightly out of control Vauxhall with a seriously wide rear track. Mechanic realised what was happening after the first crunch to the back of his car and was able to bring the procession to a halt but not until near the bottom of that very long hill. That was very scary!

 

Roll forwards just over a decade and my brothers first car, a very tired £50 Austin 1100. Told him to be careful with it but he managed to break it after a few weeks. It was stranded across the middle of Ruxley Lane dual carriageway with a mostly broken drive shaft. Dad in his newish Sierra Ghia was on hand to tow me but we had to get across Ruxley lane and the Ewell Bypass, home was not too far away. Bro stopped the traffic on Ruxley lane while we waited for the traffic lights to change and dad was under instruction to go for it regardless of what happened. What happened was that the Austin’s front o/s wheel was locked because of the mostly broken driveshaft. The car kangarooed a couple of times and then the driveshaft broke which launched the Austin to take a decent bite out of the back of dads Sierra. Dad pulled into a bus stop on the other side of the Ewell bypass where we laid down a Amoco cadiz slick from the Austin’s broken diff case. Austin now rolling freely was towed straight to the tip. Dunno how dad explained the Sierra damage to his company fleet manager.

 

One for all those who have had a tug for being a couple of kilos over their towing capacity. A school friend chum’s dad was a copper in the Met traffic division in the early 80’s. While cruising in his Met company vehicle, he found an army Bedford truck stranded on north end of the A3. Quick chat with the driver established breakdown and that he wanted to get back to Chelsea barracks. The Range Rover should be able to tug that baby 8 miles or so home, so it was hooked up, low range was chosen and the tow started. Going was tough and much harder than was expected. On arrival at the barracks it was found that the truck was fully loaded with personnel. What is gross weight of a loaded Bedford MJ 4x4 I wonder. Doh

 

Stupid and dangerous one was recovering a mates very rotten series IIa LWB safari from the farm where it had been parked axle deep in slurry for a decade (probably) to another farm where it was going to be used as a tow vehicle for the gun club. We did it proper, my Range Rover and a proper 4 wheel trailer with winch etc etc. We arrived at farm #1 and saw the landie. What a wreck!! We pulled the bumper and front dumb irons off it trying to winch it into the trailer FFS, mate was told to bring rat shit straps and tie downs etc but forgot. Oh it will be alright on the winch rope and with the handbrake on he says, not a chance in hell i says. I rummaged around my boot and found a couple of straps which we used to tie the rear axle to the trailer deck. The drive to farm #2 was very slow, we kept to the lanes and off the dual carriageway my mate wanted to use. Arrived at farm #2 intact, reversed the trailer so we could drop the IIa straight into the space, matey removes the straps and then for some reason decides to release the winch lock! The IIa makes a bid for freedom not giving a thought to missing ramps, the winch handle was spinning wildly and TBH I ran. As the IIa dropped itself off the rear end of the trailer it lifted the Range Rover almost off the ground. On the plus side the IIa landed almost exactly where it was intended to go. We used a lump hammer, which I had initially threatened matey bollocks with, to straighten the rear of the trailer before returning it to the hire shop.

[vulgalour]

On the way to a show, I broke down in the Mk2 Polo I had. Car had me, my brother, his heavily pregnant girlfriend and a cat in it. I had no break down cover and no spares to fix what later transpired to be completely melted points. Rang around everyone I knew until the only person available was a friend who had a reputation for being a bit gung ho at driving. He arrives with his blue motion Polo and we hitch up, me never having been towed and him never having towed. I have enough life in my battery to keep the wipers working for most of the journey home. Not only was the tow rope a bit on the short side, but he also had no idea just how rubbish my non-servo brakes were on the Polo and I spent most of the journey crapping myself as his car was brand new and mine clearly wasn't. He set off from a roundabout with sufficient force to make a noise that felt like he'd pulled the front of the car off (he hadn't, thankfully) and make my tailgate fly open much to the surprise and anger of the BMW behind me. Much frantic horn beeping, waving and light flashing was done to make him pull over so I could check things over and as we headed back to Sheffield it got darker and rainier. Only when we got to the Sheffield Parkway did the weather really turn bad, my battery flattened completely and I then had no wipers and no lights in rush hour traffic and the guy towing me would set off in a not at all smooth manner. It was the most unpleasant journey I've ever undertaken in my own car and I never want a repeat of it! Amazing how many other drivers don't know what hand signals mean when used by a car that's being towed in the pouring rain that doesn't have any lights, even if it's just to signal that I'm turning right and I'd like it if they didn't overtake me while doing so.

[beko1987]

Been lol'ing at this for the past 20 minutes! I haven't got an interesting tow story.

 

To get the Puma to the scrappy myself and my bro-in law, in his navara borrowed my uncle-in-law's trailer. We arrive at uncle's, hitch the braked trailer on and set off to my mums to get the puma. Pushed the puma on, then decided to jump down the m40 as it would be easier and quicker than the back roads.

 

Called my mrs, who came down and followed us just in case. Job jobbed! Liquidised the puma money in the pub all afternoon, after giving bro-in-law £20 for diesel.

 

I need a towing experience! Wonder what the ZX could tow?

[barefoot]

I can do three...

 

Many years ago being towed in a c2 Audi 100CD by a c3 Audi 100, I had complete auto box failure, so had a running engine, heater, pas, radio etc. but I wasn't expecting to be overtaking stuff at 60mph.

 

T2 camper van failure - the big fuck off earth wire had fallen off, just the other side of the village. Walked home and Mrs barefoot and I returned with the 944. Not an ideal tow car I suspect. I only used first and second gears and drove like I was at a funeral, but the fair maiden was a little miffed by the acceleration that the van didn't normally do.

 

Finally I made a trailer out of the arse end of a beetle - this is not really my sort of thing at all - to tow behind the t2.

Off to VW Action, M1 J12, a bit of a lurch, looked in the mirror to see that the trailer was at a bit of a jaunty angle. The nearside wheel had fallen off. I didn't know about the split pin. Took foot off pedal and drifted to a gentle uneventful stop on the hard shoulder but brought the motorway to a stop folk watching as I recovered the wheel dressed like the biggest flower power hippy since the summer of love!

[Joey spud]

I got asked if i could help out on the way home with a simple nonstart on a Cabstar.

When i get to it its actually starts fine but the clutch has been burnt out,the elderly driver said It needs to go about seven miles to the old boys regular garage.

It had a big bull bar on it so i couldn't solid bar it so asked the driver if he had been towed on a rope before?,he replied no problem as he had towed/been towed when he was in the Army (WW2 probably).

I should have ordered up a flatbed for the recovery but he seemed like he would be ok to be towed so off we went. (big mistake no1)

 

The route was one long straight road then a left into busy A21 into Bromley,off we went with the Cabstar running so he had PAS and better Brakes.

All along the main road the old boy was holding me back with his foot on the brake,and i couldn't get above 20 mph,i should have stopped to get him to leave the brakes alone but i pressed on anyway... (big mistake no2).

 

As i turned on to main road into Bromley i could smell what i thought was my clutch cooking but i only had to go less than half a mile so i struggled on..(big mistake no3).

 

Next thing i hear is a horn sounding and the old boy shouting.

We are now in rush hour traffic and i jump out my van and see flames licking around the front wheels on the Cabstar and acrid smoke rising up around the arches.The grease in the hubs was burning and the heat also popped the brake hoses adding to the smell.i untie my rope and move my van out of the way.

I grabbed my fire extinguisher but that doesn't touch it and the flames start licking at the wheel arches,luckily in the back of the Cabstar is a bucket and we knock on a house door and use their garden hose to fill it and start to quench the flames.

 

It takes a good 10 buckets of water to finally stop the heat from the from the brakes reigniting the hub grease and rubber patrs.while this is going on the Police have turned up and ask if i need the Fire Brigade calling !!!

The Police help to push the Cabstar half onto the path and then get called away before they can question us futher (i think they thought i had just 'come across' the Cabstar and was helping out)...

 

So we now have a smouldering Cabstar with no drive and no brakes,(oh and an alarm siren that goes off every couple of mins) stuck half on the road half on the path blocking the home time traffic going into Bromley.

I can see the sign for the Old Chaps required Garage but have to call up a Flatbed to move it the last 500m...

 

That was a day to forget..

[ayrshirelad]

My story is very much work related. I was siting spare one weekday morning. The bat phone rang. One of our Leopards had decided it didnt want to take the kids to school that morning and had chucked it once it had picked them up. I may add at this point that this was not exactly yesterday. Anyway your truley set sail in replacement bus handed it over to the driver and sat and waited for the mechanics. He turned up with the garage tow waggon. At the time a cut down c reg ie 1965 Leopard. Anyway said tow waggon was actually a god un and usually did its duty faultlessly Tow bar fitted air line attached we were set. Said mechanic asked if we had air which we did. Ok lets go. I i will take it easy says he. Anyway off we go and so does the air pressure!. I had no brakes. OOH SHITE!. I tried blowing the horm flashing the lights, all to no avail. Taking it easy meant 40/50 foot to floor. A leyland Leopard at full chat aint the quiest of vehicles and the tow waggon was sigining loudly. The Leopard i was in had no power steering or brakes of its on or anything. All that lay between me and disaster was the towing eye!. Anyway we hurtled back towards Killie. The only bit i was worried about was were the road went threw Gatehead!. Before Gatehead the road goes down hill and turns right over the river via sandstone bridge. I stood on the brake pedal as hard as i could but the pressure was nearly zero. stood up and turned the wheel. Somehow we made it round!. Sounds easy but at the time it wasnt! Anyway we gets back to the Garage and i casuallly say btw we didnt have any brakes since we left. Eh?? You are joking!? No go look air line Knackered! OHH FFS! Why didnt you .... i did blow horn and flash lights you didnt hear FXXXK. Say nothing says he. I didnt, but i did have a small pee followed by a strong cuppa afterwards!

[ayrshirelad]

My story is very much work related. I was siting spare one weekday morning. The bat phone rang. One of our Leopards had decided it didnt want to take the kids to school that morning and had chucked it once it had picked them up. I may add at this point that this was not exactly yesterday. Anyway your truley set sail in replacement bus handed it over to the driver and sat and waited for the mechanics. He turned up with the garage tow waggon. At the time a cut down c reg ie 1965 Leopard. Anyway said tow waggon was actually a god un and usually did its duty faultlessly Tow bar fitted air line attached we were set. Said mechanic asked if we had air which we did. Ok lets go. I i will take it easy says he. Anyway off we go and so does the air pressure!. I had no brakes. OOH SHITE!. I tried blowing the horm flashing the lights, all to no avail. Taking it easy meant 40/50 foot to floor. A leyland Leopard at full chat aint the quiest of vehicles and the tow waggon was sigining loudly. The Leopard i was in had no power steering or brakes of its on or anything. All that lay between me and disaster was the towing eye!. Anyway we hurtled back towards Killie. The only bit i was worried about was were the road went threw Gatehead!. Before Gatehead the road goes down hill and turns right over the river via sandstone bridge. I stood on the brake pedal as hard as i could but the pressure was nearly zero. stood up and turned the wheel. Somehow we made it round!. Sounds easy but at the time it wasnt! Anyway we gets back to the Garage and i casuallly say btw we didnt have any brakes since we left. Eh?? You are joking!? No go look air line Knackered! OHH FFS! Why didnt you .... i did blow horn and flash lights you didnt hear FXXXK. Say nothing says he. I didnt, but i did have a small pee followed by a strong cuppa afterwards!

[Albert Ross]

I've saved this one.....

January 1999. I was delivering a Mk1 Sierra Estate to lend to a mate, his Allaggro Estate had been vandalised, his Mandingo Estate had shat it's Auto box, and he needed a workhorse for a month. I had spent the Christmas holiday making the Sierra sensible for him to use. I stripped out all the goodies, welded it up and undersealed it.... I removed the 2.1, and popped in a Transit spec 1.6 with a VV carb. Put all the small brakes back on it, an Emax gearbox, and the correct rear diff. So this Thursday, I hired the trailer, and loaded the Estate up, and set off for Hereford from Lincoln, using my Mk1 Sierra 2.0i Ghia hatch (In regency red, what a honey it was... proper flying machine) I got as far as Swinderby on the A46.. I was nudged into the kerb by an overtaking impatient van driver who didn't like the idea of 40 mph uphill... Well to be honest, I was a little overweight.... (towing car!). I got a wobble on and jacknifed into a Renault Magnum.... the trailer took a bit of it, but my red Hatch was fooked. The Green Estate wasn't too bad, it had an indicator lamp drop out, but soon refitted. I took the green one off the trailer, took the trailer off the red one, and put it on the green one, and drove the red one onto the trailer, all before Plod showed up. Talking to the truck driver (and his mate who was following) they had seen me wobbling, and reckon if I hadn't hit the truck I would have ditched it sideways.... that would have killed me. Side bars on the trailer helped. Having spoken to Plod when they showed, I was congratulated for making a bloody mess of his road! The Fire service came and helped sweep up, an Ambulance stopped.... as did the Air Ambulance! (Various reports of many cars and a caravan etc had been phoned in) I was breathalised and clear.... (Was ill over new year so abstained) I drove the lot home, rang my mate, and got thoroughly pissed. I went to work the next day, tail between my legs.... It was my "awakening" and I went out and bought a house.

 

The moral? Always carry a spare car, you never know when you might need one!

[ruffgeezer]

My mate Mark and I once bought an Ax Gt5 for £21 from ebay, it had been an engine donor for a rally car, and our mate Gav offered to tow us behind his 106 quiksilver.

 

We borrowed a cheap looking rope from Mark's dad and arrived to collect the car, which not only has no engine, but nothing under the bonnet at all. I manage to get the front windows open by shorting them across a battery, and we give it hand signals all the way, telling Gav not to go above 30...

 

...What follows is 2 idiots giving hand signals whilst passing 2 traffic police cars at over 60mph, luckily we didn't get stopped, and when we arrived back at base, we found the rope had nearly snapped, never again!

[Station]

I was chatting to autofive about this earlier, I thought this might make a good winter evening thread. What I want is stories of terror and near death on the end of a rope... I'm sure most of us have at some time realized too late that your life is in the hands of a madman, and that you are going to die.

 

For example...

 

I once popped in to see the guy at the MoT station, he asked me to help him collect a car. Stupidly, I agreed. We jumped into his brand new Mitsubishi L200 "Animal" and set off towards a village about 12 miles away, along some ver.y hilly and twisty roads. Eventually, we arrived to find a knackered citroen AX, and Mick connected it to the L200 with a rope.... Up to this point, I'd assumed it was a "drive it back" type of job, but OK, we are here now... towing. I reassured myself with the thought that, with 20 years in the trade, Mick would know how to tow. Off we went, on the way up the street I tested the brakes on the AX. No discenable difference... tried horn, nope. No lights either. Opened the window, waved to mick. He waved back, and carried on. Bad became worse.. country roads that I'd not usually drive at 50 were taken at 70, less than 10 ft from the back of a pickup. I couldn't actually see where I was going and mostly had to rely on memory. On one of the rare straight bits, he overtook a volvo 940 that was doing 60... I still remember the driver's look of shock when he saw me! I waved at him, then carried on holding on for dear life. Less than a mile to go, I'm starting to think I might be ok... there is a roundabout, then a bit of by-pass and we are back. Turn right at the roundabout, road clear, mick takes it at almost 50, the AX understeers, then oversteers, then slides to the outside held by the rope like a tupperware pendulum before being dragged rudely (and sideways) up the bypass.

 

When we got to the garage I noticed that the towing eye on the AX was one spot weld away from detaching, the nearside bottom ball joint had given way, and my legs and bowels were refusing to behave. I've never ever let him tow me in anything ever again.

 

I loled at that in work!

Towing a mate in Minimad's mk1 Fiesta to the scrap yard, having the boot fly open and emptying most of the stuff in the back on the road was amusing.

[stuboy]

being towed from cantebury to ashford by a mate in his 216 vandan plas r'over and i was in his lime green xr3i with blended in rs turbo body kit with cossie whale tail ..... he drove like an apsolute manic and way too fast .... bearing in mind i had no battery or indicators