A Sort of reintroduction I guess - Driving Test Dramas

[af1]

Hello everyone. My name is AJ (it isn't but that's what people call me and I am a serial shite car apologist)

I am not sure why on this bank holiday Monday I have decided to start a thread on autoshite. I've been a member on here for a very long time. I guess you are my kind of people.

I would definitely describe myself as a connoisseur of the products at the bottom end of the automotive market, a lover of French Cars and a recent convert to Malaysian Metal.

What do I currently own starting with most broken:

• 1995 Peugeot 106 Rallye 
  • It's a shell,  im pretty sure that some parts of it are missing, it's been stored in numerous places over the years as I have moved about. I think I purchased it in 2012, there's probably a thread on it somewhere. Unfortunately life has always got in the way or something else has been more needing of my time
• 2000 Citroen Saxo VTS
  • Purchased in 2017 when you could still get them quite cheap. a couple of years back I got it back on the road with many new parts and used it with my son to compete in Autotests and AutoSolos. after that abuse it needed a new rear axle, what was a quick simple rear beam replacement ended up as a weldathon. The car is at my Dads outside a council garage without power. A white ago (I forget when) I had a 'few more bits to do' and haven't touched it since.
• 1988 BMW E30 320i
  • Purchased just before lockdown, It always had a rust hole in the roof. It's currently in storage. It's on its last legs but every panel seems to be available. It's beautiful, I love it. I would happily daily it. I rebuilt the top end of the engine after a catastrophic tappet failure during lockdown in my living room. It kept me sane. 
• 2013 Peugeot 208 GTi
  • I purchased this a couple of years ago, I had found a commute which completely bypassed main roads and took me across the county entirely on back roads and country lanes. It's like a spiritual successor to my old Peugeot 306 Rallye, end of last year one of the shock absorbers completely snapped at the top mount. It was on lowering springs and standard shocks. I opted for a set of Bilstein B14 coil overs all round, which was great until one of the shock absorbers completely snapped at the top mount. Fortunately you can send these to Bilstein who will refurbish them for a very reasonable price. We are due to move house imminently, the lead time on the repair is 2 weeks. I don't have a garage, just allocated parking, I don't want to move and leave my car on axle stands at the old house. 
• 2008 Perodua Kelisa (actually my wife's)
  • A few years ago I saw a Silver Perodua Kelisa parked at the side of the road. It had a sign in the windscreen saying 25000 miles £250. I thought it said £2500, this was not far post COVID so used car prices were still high. I thought to myself given the current situation £2500 wasn't a bad price for a car with such low miles. But as soon as I saw it was £250 I instantly phoned the number on the windscreen and purchased the car straight away. That Perodua Kelisa, the silver one, is now owned by my eldest  son who has his driving test in a couple of weeks and wears a fetching set of Slot Mags. The Perodua Kelisa I am currently piloting is a blue one that my wife bought for herself whilst I spent last summer welding her Volvo. In our ownership the clutch failed. fortunately I had already replaced a clutch on the Silver one so had managed to get a clutch replacement down to an afternoons work. This car currently sports a fetching set of 14" Toyota Aygo Alloys because finding decent 13" tyres is difficult these days. I am currently dallying this car as the Peugeot is Broken
• 2010 Volvo V70 2.0d (the Peugeot engined one)
  • I bought this car for my wife as a birthday present. This car can only be described as a victim of peoples belief that Volvos achieve moon mileage. I have had it in so many bits so I think I am qualified to say that they are well made, the parts are quality and I would happily buy one and take it beyond 180,000 miles (where it currently sits) but never would I ever buy one with such mileage. This car has been abused, I will dig out the pictures of it when we did an oil change. It was neglected, Volvos can achieve moon mileage but you have to look after them. The previous owner really didn't. It has had new DPF, new injectors, new mostly everything!! When replacing the rear trailing arm bushes ready for the MOT I noticed that the rear floor was completely rotten so I cut out a lot a floor and made my own panels to replace the missing bits. Its had new sills. No car of this age should be as rotten as that one was!

So yeah I think that's all of them, Im not someone who is willing to throw the towel in very often. Sometimes my confidence can outweigh my abilities but I usually get there in the end, even if my spend on tools and parts can far outweigh just getting an expert on it. Life the universe and everything can often get in the way of keeping on top of all of this and the 'daily' cars often take up all my time leaving me with no time to work on the projects or the fun stuff. As mentioned above, we are in the process of moving which means for the first time in my car owning life I will actually have a decent garage as well as a bit of space and for the first time ever I will have all my cars at home with me and huge house renovations aside I am hoping that it will afford me more time with my projects and help me keep the daily cars running. 

I guess owning all this, having all these dreams about them running is a much of a mental strain as it is something to enjoy. 

The Saxo probably has to go, perhaps the Peugeot should be replaced with something less temperamental for daily duties. I will try and do a more detailed write up on each car because the above bullet points are a bit like the rambling of a mad man.

So do I do anything other than fix broken cars? I enjoy digital art, drawing cars mostly - funnily enough! I also do a bit of printing, T-Shirts, mugs, Vehicle Graphics, Stickers and that kind of thing. However its taking a back seat whilst we move house

I occasionally put all this stuff on the usual trendy social medias, I have a few followers but this post isn't a plug to get you to follow/sympathise with me. It's quite cathartic to write it all down and I hope you find it interesting in a way.

 

Anyway, 56k warning here's some photos:

 

Edited Thursday at 16:29 by af1
update title

[Matty]

The way prices are going, Saxo and 106 will be a retirement fund 👍

[af1]

3 hours ago, Matty said:

The way prices are going, Saxo and 106 will be a retirement fund 👍

The Saxo isn’t the tidiest unfortunately. It does have a lot of recent parts though 

[af1]

So yeah what I thought I would do is add very little useful engagement to my introduction post for about a week and then without context upload a pixel art image I drew of a 90’s BP petrol station using the Amiga colour palette with prices reflective of the modern day. 
 

its not quite finished but I’ve got a back box and wheel bearing to do on the Perodua. 

bummer it’s dark and I spent the daylight evening hours drawing 🥴 
 

 

[af1]

So what did you do this weekend? 
What did I do this weekend?

Eldest Son has his driving test this Thursday. 
Unfortunately due to reasons we do not have an instructor and that means no nice modern instructor car for the test.

Enter Perodua!

This weekend was spent doing the final few things needed to make sure the car is reliable and will please an examiner. 

a new exhaust backbox was fitted along with two rear wheel bearings. These cars are so simple to work on. If only parts were a little more easy to come by. The car is based on a Daihatsu Cuore, it wasn’t until I owned a Perodua I realised that they stopped selling Daihatsu in the UK about 10 years ago. So finding parts for this car can be a little testing at times. AUTODOC usually has me covered but delivery times can be a bit painful. 
 

Lidl had a machine polisher in the middle aisle this week so that too was deployed on the Perodua. It’s come up really well! 

once he passes he too has a Perodua to drive. 
lucky kid 

 

Edited May 11 by af1
add photo of shiny Perodua

[af1]

Driving tests are stressful right?

Today it was my eldest sons turn to demonstrate safe and considerate driving to a representative of the DVSA.

Like most 17 year olds he was nervous but was managing to not let it get the better of him. I had agreed to pick him up, give the Perodua a wash at the local jet wash and then we would have a final run through of the manoeuvres and make our way to the test centre. 

For 'reasons' we were without an instructor or an instructors vehicle. so in the run up to the test to ensure the vehicle was in tip top DVSA condition, new clutch, new wheel bearings, new exhaust and of course a nice polish, vacuum and a spritz of air freshener.

I arrive nice and early at his house and the Perodua doesn't start. Battery is fully charged, I had just driven it 26 miles to his house. We jiggled some wires under the dash and it seemed to come back to life. Tested it a few times and all seemed fine. So onwards to the car wash.

Car was washed and thanks to the Gtechniq G6 Perfect Glass Window Cleaner I had taken with me, the windows looked glorious. The Perodua was certainly ready to impress the examiner. We go to start the car, nothing. we jiggle wires we tap the starter with a 10mm spanner (the only tool I had in the car - remember i had cleaned the car out as per the instructions by the DVSA) still nothing. We manage to push start the car to at least get it out the petrol station. We are about an hour away from test time.

I call my wife and explain what a precarious position we were in. Despite being at work, after a conversation with her very understanding boss she jumped in her trusty Volvo and met us at the petrol station. I put temporary insurance on the Volvo to cover him if needed. In the time waiting for her to arrive, my son had diagnosed it was a loose connection on the trigger wire of the starter motor.  We unplug it and plug it in, I turn the connector around and we test it a few times and it looks like everything is going to go well. 

We drive over to the test centre, my wife in the Volvo following behind, a bit like the opposite of the spare car on a top gear road trip. We arrive a bit early so park in a car park opposite the test centre. We keep testing that the car will start, it does. My son is given the option, Volvo or Perodua. He has done a lot of practice in the Perodua, its small, its cute, its easy to drive. He knows that car so he chooses the Perodua, He reverse parks it into the bay at the centre and we go into the waiting room and wait. 

The examiner introduces himself and all documents are checked and they go to the car. 

I pray.

A bit of time passes and I see my son opening the bonnet, Surely the car hasn't FTP, it must be a show me tell me question. I then see the examiner collecting his things and leaving the car. I tentatively ask the examiner if everything is OK, he said that never before on a driving test has he had a student have a mechanical breakdown and then jump out the car and perform a repair! (obviously this guy has never lived the shite life) I politely explain that there had been an issue this morning that we thought we had resolved but just in case we have another car, L plated up, insured waiting over the road ready to go. He said that the car is already booked into the test and he can't change it. "Ah Government" He says that he needs to speak to his manager and then disappears. A few minutes pass, the kind that feel like hours, and he comes back. The examiner explains that there is a risk if the car cuts out or it stalls during the test and therefore he cannot proceed. The examiner isn't wrong and I don't think it would go well if my son keeps jumping out the car to jiggle the trigger wire. Im fully expecting a very sombre drive home. Until he says "Do you really have another car available?" Absolutely we do. He says that he has spoken to his manager who is willing to take my son out for the test but there will be a bit of a wait. 

So Eldest son jumps into Volvo and away he goes. I sit in the waiting room, I pace outside the test centre to be honest the nerves don't feel much different to the ones I felt 17 years ago in that delivery suite. 40 minutes pass and I see the Volvo pull into the test centre. I wait with anticipation, after what seems like an eternity looking at  Schrodinger's Volvo my son gets out the Volvo with a big smile and a thumbs up!

He passed his test!!

he had driven the Volvo before but only briefly, its about 7 billion times bigger than the Perodua but he passed his test with only 3 minors.

I need a drink! He probably does too but he isn't old enough yet.

I remember my driving test being stressful but today must have been another level of stress for him. What a champion going through all that and still passing. Very proud Dad today.

 

 

 

[Mac69400]

Jesus! My heart was in my mouth reading that. Well done to all of you, but in particular your son, your wife and the DVSA staff. What a day! 

He'll never forget his driving test, I'd imagine. 

[af1]

5 minutes ago, Mac69400 said:

Jesus! My heart was in my mouth reading that. Well done to all of you, but in particular your son, your wife and the DVSA staff. What a day! 

He'll never forget his driving test, I'd imagine. 

I did say that long after I have departed it will always be a story to tell! 

Really can't fault the DVSA on this one. Fantastic service. I will be emailing a compliment. People can be too quick to complain and its rare that fantastic work is recognised.

[Tickman]

Outstanding result.

Congratulations to him for keeping himself calm.

[beko1987]

Nice, well done to hi for taking such a change in car and still passing! 

Mine wasn't as bad but my instructor changed his 56 plate fiesta which I'd done 99% of my instructor learning in for a 2009 newer model 3 days before my test... 

I had 2 lessons then the test and fucking hated the car. Everything was awfully light and everything I was used to in the old fiesta was different. I did fail my first test as I got beeped at for not taking a gap and I'm still 50/50 nowadays if if have made it through or would have mounted the kerb (which was the done thing at said junction for years until they re did it, hence you got beeped at for not mounting the kerb and turning left the microsecond the lights turned) 

Means he can use the volvo for his car now? 😂 He will be popular with the ladies/lads (don't want to assume) 

[af1]

23 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

Nice, well done to hi for taking such a change in car and still passing! 

Mine wasn't as bad but my instructor changed his 56 plate fiesta which I'd done 99% of my instructor learning in for a 2009 newer model 3 days before my test... 

I had 2 lessons then the test and fucking hated the car. Everything was awfully light and everything I was used to in the old fiesta was different. I did fail my first test as I got beeped at for not taking a gap and I'm still 50/50 nowadays if if have made it through or would have mounted the kerb (which was the done thing at said junction for years until they re did it, hence you got beeped at for not mounting the kerb and turning left the microsecond the lights turned) 

Means he can use the volvo for his car now? 😂 He will be popular with the ladies/lads (don't want to assume) 

Many times in my driving life I have pondered if I could still pass an ordinary driving test. 
 

We worked out that he had only had 6 hours of instruction with a qualified instructor and the rest was family taking him out. That and an unfamiliar car to go out and smash it with 3 minors demonstrates, in my view, a good talent for driving. He has been doing autotests and autosolos since he was 14. 
 

Im sure that he would love the Volvo but the insurance is frightening! 

[beko1987]

Yes, certainly won't be a bad skill to learn to jump between vehicles of all sizes. I still have the first 20 miles of "fuck me this is massive/wide/unfamiliar" driving anything else even after driving since 2010, let alone for my test 😂 

I was very lucky, because I passed quite late out of my friend group another good friend who passed the day he turned 18 etc was becoming a driving instructor for Red, and was well over the 3 year rule anyway to accompany a learner. I bought a 206hdi 3door and became his first pupil 😂 We'd smash £20 of diesel in (back when it was only £1.15ish a litre) and he'd plan his lessons and do mock things and generally use me to sort his own shit out which was amazing to me! Was a few occasions he jumped in the drivers seat and smashed us up the m40 to somewhwre unfamiliar then we'd do hours. Really did help, I only had maybe 15 lessons with an instructor. Can't remember now. 

I remember 2 days after passing he invited* me for a drive up the m40, my first* ever mway drive properly. He is a biker and was in his bike, and told me to concentrate on the road and everything else and ignore him, but also no sudden movements and we proceeded to drive 30 miles with him essentially being a massive cunt to me 😂 But it taught me blind spots and how fast things can move at 70. 

You can chase him in the volvo and do the same! Nothing learns you faster than a volvo estate flashing you out of the way in lane 3.

Some child* (she's 20 I think) joined our work a few weeks ago and I think she's only recently passed her test. But she lives in Oxford, our office is in Marlow and she's never been on a mway before and is too scared to... She does the entire thing the back way and it must take her 2 hours to her home. Cba to help though as she loves miles away from me and I'd have to drive slowly on the m40 😬 

I think I'd be fine with the speed limits, road signs and all manouvers nowadays. It will be the distances for gaps and the priority rules that I'd mess up on. My attitude of "it's bigger than me, I'll come out worst" or "I'm bigger than them, Ill wait for a gap" has done me well so far but I have no idea what the proper gap to leave for a cyclist is. Around here there probably isn't one for miles on some roads... 

[Markeh]

Picking up the "driving other vehicles without being fazed by it" skill is a strange one, you don't quite realise when you've done it. I got a bit of a helping hand on this one due to dad being in the motor trade and our driveway requiring shunting to get my car out often - I was used to shifting a variety of different cars pretty quickly.

My best mate still believes she's terrible because she thinks shes only driven a Sedici then 2008s, but I have to remind her that for work she drives LWB Transits, Rangers, Leafs and Defenders...

[Wibble]

2 hours ago, Markeh said:

Picking up the "driving other vehicles without being fazed by it" skill is a strange one, you don't quite realise when you've done it. I got a bit of a helping hand on this one due to dad being in the motor trade and our driveway requiring shunting to get my car out often - I was used to shifting a variety of different cars pretty quickly.

My best mate still believes she's terrible because she thinks shes only driven a Sedici then 2008s, but I have to remind her that for work she drives LWB Transits, Rangers, Leafs and Defenders...

It’s never been an issue for me either. Just get in and go, whether it’s a car, van or truck. 
 

The best I remember was when on a scout camp, when I was about 15. There wasn’t a Venture Scout group to join locally, so I stayed on as a junior leader( and years later became scout leader ). The adult leader had an incident with an airgun that pretty much severed his finger. Gun cocked and trigger pulled whilst loading😬

Off to hospital we went, him driving, with me doing gears and indicators, in his Mk5 Cortina estate, my favourite car. Two miles back from camp, he pulled over and asked me to drive the rest of the way, as he was in too much pain. Country roads, didn’t meet another vehicle and the only bit I was worried about was the small gate into the field. I needn’t have worried, got through it fine and felt the dogs bollocks when everyone back at camp saw it was me driving. Great day for me, not for him🙁

 

[Metal Guru]

3 hours ago, Markeh said:

Picking up the "driving other vehicles without being fazed by it" skill is a strange one, you don't quite realise when you've done it. I got a bit of a helping hand on this one due to dad being in the motor trade and our driveway requiring shunting to get my car out often - I was used to shifting a variety of different cars pretty quickly.

My best mate still believes she's terrible because she thinks shes only driven a Sedici then 2008s, but I have to remind her that for work she drives LWB Transits, Rangers, Leafs and Defenders...

If you’re driving many different cars regularly, it’s not a problem. It’s more of a problem if you drive the same car all the time and automatically know where every switch etc is without looking. When you drive something different , you reach for things that aren’t where you expect them to be.

[High Jetter]

Your lad deserves a drink for that. Great result, please send him my congrats, and get him on here!

[af1]

1 minute ago, High Jetter said:

Your lad deserves a drink for that. Great result, please send him my congrats, and get him on here!

I have sent him a link and encouragement to join! He is busy today getting his Perodua ready for its MOT on Saturday (tomorrow)

 

[beko1987]

Is it reliably starting now? 

[beko1987]

9 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

If you’re driving many different cars regularly, it’s not a problem. It’s more of a problem if you drive the same car all the time and automatically know where every switch etc is without looking. When you drive something different , you reach for things that aren’t where you expect them to be.

I don't drive many other cars regularly 😂 going from my xsara to dad's enyaq was terrifying to begin with, both ways after doing 300 miles in the enyaq then driving home from dad's in the 2002 xsara again 😬 

Now I've got the qashqai the "big" fear has gone somewhat as most other things are smaller, much to dad's chagrin as I chuck the enyaq through massive gaps I'd take in the qashqai 😂 

[af1]

3 hours ago, beko1987 said:

Is it reliably starting now? 

Annoyingly yes! 

[af1]

A weekend happened

After the driving test I treated myself to a long weekend. 
 

With the Perodua FTP on the driving test I decided that I should do something about it so I finally got on with fixing my Peugeot. Perhaps a bit too modern for Autoshite but firmly shite, this is an early model 208GTI the one that’s unreliable and doesn’t have any of the nice to haves like the newer ones. Why did I choose it? 
Whenever I go to car shows I always admire the early model survivors of any particular brands. The mk1s and ph1s of any car. Also it was cheap. In my ownership it has been nothing but trouble. Despite pouring good money after bad money into it, it’s mostly sat broken. It’s definitely going to be a low mileage hero, based purely on the fact that I can’t ever drive it anywhere. I fitted the Bilstein B14 coilover kit on it and one of the ‘uprated’ shock absorbers broke. Fortunately Bilstein can refurbish it so it was taken off ready to be sent off  

because it doesn’t rain, it pours I also discovered that the ‘uprated’ spring had snapped  

So I am also in the process of buying a new spring.

that’s the Peugeot on axle stands for the foreseeable 

 

on Saturday my son took his Perodua for an MOT. Which of course it passed without issue 

 

then on Sunday was a local festival of transport. I saw this for sale and I wanted it very badly 

not a bad weekend 

[motorpunk]

What’s the 208 like? Good shite or bad shite? Or just, well, shite.

[af1]

1 hour ago, motorpunk said:

What’s the 208 like? Good shite or bad shite? Or just, well, shite.

I dunno I’ve hardly driven it in the two years I have owned it 🤣

jokes aside. I quite like its like a slightly more refined 306 GTI-6. It is also surprisingly fuel efficient. This one had questionable remap on it when I bought it that caused a whole world of pain and issues.

I think if you are dead set on living a life of 1.6THP misery, at least do it in a RCZ so you have something pretty parked on axle stands on your driveway. 
Peugeot are great at making a hot hatch that is great to drive but they are even better at making them look indistinguishable from their run of the mill models 

[stuboy]

7 hours ago, af1 said:

not a bad weekend 

where was this?

[af1]

7 minutes ago, stuboy said:

where was this?

Faversham transport festival weekend thing 

[stuboy]

Just now, af1 said:

Faversham transport festival weekend thing 

not million miles from me in ashford.

[af1]

Just now, stuboy said:

not million miles from me in ashford.

Oh cool! Autoshite East Kent Collective