A chav, even in death

[garethj]

Some cemetery bosses reel in horror at the mere thought of a teddy bear in their graveyard. They consider cuddly toys and trinkets tacky and inappropriate in a sombre setting. Other managers, it would seem, take a more relaxed approach.

 

When car fanatic Steve Marsh died last year, aged 51, his family wanted to mark his passing with a big gesture.

And after getting permission from the authorities they came up with this headstone - in the shape of his favourite BMW M3 convertible.

 

The granite scale model, which had to be imported from the Far East, cost around £50,000 - almost as much as the real thing. However, eyebrows are already being raised - with locals questioning how it was allowed, and what it could lead to next. Weighing one ton, the BMW sculpture had to be lowered over Mr Marsh's grave by crane in an operation involving 20 people.

 

The detailed design includes silver-painted lights, a complete dashboard and tiny BMW logos on the wheels. It even has the personalised number-plate: 'Steve 1'. Mr Marsh, who was known as 'BMW Steve' because of his love of the cars, died in his sleep last April. He had been suffering heart problems. His wife Joanne, 51, and children Kerry, 31, and Vincent, 27, from Forest Gate, East London, drew up the designs for the headstone with the help of a stone mason.

 

After the blueprints were approved by the manager of Manor Park cemetery, they ordered the black granite car from China. The family unveiled the headstone at a memorial service on the first anniversary of engineer Mr Marsh's death on April 23, which was attended by 50 mourners. In keeping with his sense of humour, a joke parking ticket was placed under the windscreen wipers for the service.

 

Mr Marsh's daughter, Kerry, said: 'He was a car enthusiast all his life, he loved cars from a child. When Mum was in labour with me my Dad was outside fixing the nurse's car and got a page when it was time to come inside. 'He always drove BMWs, we've all got them. We couldn't just give him a normal headstone. 'We wanted it to look as realistic as possible. We had a lot of trouble getting it done. We had to order it from China and have it shipped over. 'It weighs about a ton and was made out of one piece of granite. I think my Dad would absolutely love it.'

 

Some locals, however, are concerned the headstone could open the floodgates to other 'novelty' graves. A gatekeeper at the cemetery, who did not wish to be named, said: 'I was very surprised they were allowed to have it. They certainly wouldn't allow that at City of London cemetery. 'I said to the manager, "people are going to want all sorts now". I wouldn't be surprised if the next thing people are asking for is a bus. I think it's possible it could be targeted by vandals.'

 

Local resident Rene Dryden, 33, a mental health therapist, added: 'You have to admit it's totally different to everything else around it. 'It's definitely not my taste. I think some people will say it's tacky and it could end up as a target to be vandalised. 'It could open the floodgates for anything to be built in a cemetery. When I walked past it the other day, though, I have to admit it did make me smile.'

 

 

 

 

This really opens the floodgates, and it’s not going to get better. If there is a God, please let him take the soul of a speed camera operator. Then his dear wife can say “He loved sitting in the back of that van, it’s only right that his memory is forever captured by the granite Mercedes Sprinter with a hole in the back window.†And let the church warden put it in front of that Beemer.

 

Then, after the tragic death of a JCB operator, perhaps they can put it next to the BMW with some lovely marble traffic cones?

 

Please, God? I don’t ask you for much....

[chester drawers]

Won’t be getting to heaven particularly quickly mind as nobody will let him out of the cemetery gates. I’ll get my coat.

[Father Ted]

I think its brilliant.

 

Go have a look in some of the older Victorian graveyards at the mahooosive mausoleum type graves, the Jewish graveyard in Layton has a few quite tacky ones too.

 

Admittedly I think local kids will play on it

[Formula Autos]

Can I have a Tagora please?

 

Apart from the wheels and 'arches there'll be no tiresome curves for the stonemasons to worry about either.

 

Can you get beige granite BTW?

[Station]

He has a statue on his gravestone that perhaps suggests he was a homosexual.

[FredTransit]

I would go for this! Only I do think burial is a waste of land. Would I get away with a real Mk1 transit parked on me grave?

[garethj]

Would I get away with a real Mk1 transit parked on me grave?

Dunno. I’ve asked around what I should have on my grave, and the consensus seems to be “a dancefloorâ€Â

[pogweasel]

Would I get away with a real Mk1 transit parked on me grave?

Dunno. I’ve asked around what I should have on my grave, and the consensus seems to be “a dancefloorâ€Â

Probably mildly preferable to 'urine'...

[Alexg]

 

 

 

 

I can imagine the resently deceased queing up in an orderly fashion at the pearly gates, then this bozo cutting in at the front with no indication.

[retrogeezer]

I guess it will look cool in a 100 years time when it's a vintage car!

[MrRegieRitmo]

I can understand the grave concerns over this!

[Father Ted]

I would go for this! Only I do think burial is a waste of land. Would I get away with a real Mk1 transit parked on me grave?

Some wood and a gallon or two of four star and you can have yourself a Viking burial....

[Tayne]

.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Is Chinese granite inferior to European granite then?

 

No matter, it looks fuking horrific anyway.

[Tayne]

.

[Waderider]

It's a sign of the times when someone carries brand loyalty to the grave. Did he design the car? Engineer the car? No? What did he achieve in life? Even if only a husband and father, that's enough to put on a plain gravestone.

 

That's the most tasteless thing I've seen since I watched My Gipsy Wedding. No offence to travelling folk.

[danthecapriman]

My word thats sad!

I intend to be thrown in the wheelie bin outside the church when my time comes!

 

Im sure I read in the paper ages ago some guy was buried in his metro when he passed away.

[Albert Ross]

For me, a piece of cardboard ripped off a burger box at a motorway services, and scrawled in crayon/felt-tip/lipstick would do, just like a hitch-hiker at Scratchwood. Then nailed to a tree near a railway siding near an abbatoir.

[Pillock]

It's the way it's worked that will make it look rough. The surface has to be highly polished with diamond discs, any scratches left in it will pick up ranwater, residue will be left which will adhere to the rough bits, and give moss a chance to form.

 

I used to be a memorial mason, never made anything as gash as that though. All we did was sandblast pictures of favourite cars/bikes/animals/trains into the granite, and sink enamel paint into the rough surface. To be fair I can't imagine any of the places I installed at allowing that, they're either council run and strict as fook, or they're church-run, even stricter, and with no way of getting a one tonne block in. I once had an argument about silver writing vs gold with the council, let alone a car!

[Father Ted]

Im sure I read in the paper ages ago some guy was buried in his metro when he passed away.

Foooook - you imagine the Robot archeologists face in 500 years time with Robot Tony Robinson on Robot Time Team

 

 

 

I should be doing something more productive than this

[GJR 11L]

He was a car enthusiast all his life, he loved cars from a child. When Mum was in labour with me my Dad was outside fixing the nurse's car and got a page when it was time to come inside....

 

So that's what they call it nowadays....

 

 

It isn't even a decent rendition of the car's shape so imagine how hacked off the poor bloke, a "lifelong enthusiast", would be if he were to see that bloody lash-up! It's most foul, IMHO.

 

Cremation FTW. Preferably in a concours-winning specimen of a Riley Elf. Yeah, that'll do for me thanks.

[Des]

What the fuck, have good taste, common decency and respect gone off on their hols? Needs a white van on an adjacent grave, with a speaker blaring out "Oi you arrogant twat, you wanna step out of that fucking credit agreement and show us just what a big man you are then? No? Didn't think so. Pussy."

[trigger]

I can full appreciate the skill that must of gone into making that out of granite and if i saw it on display in a BMW showroom I'd be quite impressed by it but to use it as a headstone in a local grave yard is just distasteful and wrong.

 

It reminds me of the headstone used for Del and Rodneys mum in Only Fools and Horses, I wonder if it glows in the dark like theirs as well?.

[eddyramrod]

I've just been trying to think of a word that says what I feel, but the most accurate one I can find is "disgusted." Disgusted for the deceased, because it IS a woeful representation of the way he wasted his passion; disgusted for the rest of us because of the way he wasted his passion. I thought my horizons were low until I saw the general public lapping-up these BMWs...

 

Someone has thrown Standards out of the plane, with no parachute...

[garethj]

It isn't even a decent rendition of the car's shape so imagine how hacked off the poor bloke, a "lifelong enthusiast", would be if he were to see that bloody lash-up!

I don't think matters of good taste are troubling the bloke or his family tbh

 

It reminds me of the headstone used for Del and Rodneys mum in Only Fools and Horses, I wonder if it glows in the dark like theirs as well?.

Glad I'm not the only one who was reminded of that!

[Mr Lobster]

£50k

 

Money can't buy class can it.

[Mash]

That won't last five minutes.

[VWPowered]

£50k

 

Money can't buy class can it.

totally agree hat a waste of 50k

 

That won't last five minutes.

till someone nicks the alloys, or it'll end up in a container on its way to africa, wonder if they had to get a tracker fitted

[RedSparrow]

Completely OT but similar to this was a story in the news a couple of years ago.

A 14 year old girl was run over and killed by a speeding driver - very sad story.

However, her parents decided to bury her in a pink coffin covered in the Playboy logo. Tasteful.