Automotive idiot of the week?

[Cavcraft]

Any value in having an 'automotive idot of the week' nomination?

 

If so I'm going to vote for this berk...

 

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/1860759.htm

 

I actually like the car, not too overdone, nice colour and arguably the best alloy wheels ever made. But read the advert text

 

Who could possibly be 'serious' when faced with type like that?

[Formula Autos]

Have you noticed in the ad that his location has been given as 'West Midlands'? I suspect the only reading material available to them as a child was Slade album covers - hence the spelin.

[autofive]

http://birmingham.gumtree.com/birmingha ... 79423.html

 

http://www.turkishweekly.net/yellow_page.asp?ID=276562

 

same mobile number, same terrible language skills

[VWPowered]

i wouldnt buy anything off him

[FredTransit]

Anybody else think his first language is txt spk?

[Formula Autos]

Anybody else think his first language is txt spk?

Ethr tht or he is jst a prk.

 

Wndr how he wud fil in th V5 if yu bght th car?

[254575]

i thought that mobile number was one of those safety numbers you can use to mask your real number

[Cavcraft]

It's times like this where I feel the need to get some credit on my spare 'phone and send him random text messages at 3.00am on a Sunday.

[Cavcraft]

HOT NEWS JUST IN. We have a contender already...

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1996-VAUXHALL-CAL ... HOP:GB:101

 

 

That is THE best excuse EVER for a car not having an MOT.

[Milford Cubicle]

Vauxhall owners are a bit simple aren't they?

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1994-VAUXHALL-CAV ... 0533644767

[Station]

^ OI!

 

 

I sent that Calibra owner a message, which I hope will take him 2 hours to decipher:

 

Ow do m, sw u car n pstnhdz, no i thrggt YEAH, I WON IT!!! NO WO I MEAN M8? So snin mesig 2 U sn 1 wnni cum n av wit da WOSH WOOSH WOOSJ, as it got werkin dranfun box, n duz da six sped hear bok giv etr speed, duz u hn mi numbe n u cn see if i wan see exusast n m werkin 9 - 5 lk dl pat sng, so orll i ned iz a werkin car 2 geh m 2 werk n bk iow iz it 4 perol n iz da cra fassed? wo wil mi rinserins bee liek as i av got a Crosa 1.0 12v wish as a exusast dat i brought from peco n a trilld hairbox tha i trillld meselv so. f i kud ger rinserins iv foaned go cumper n the av sed dey wud rinser me turd partee for $7100 a yeer, do u fink dis is gud prise? wud u swop for Crosa wiv exasaut n modz n gv me too fousant as well as Croza iz fassed n as modz

[Station]

That is THE best excuse EVER for a car not having an MOT.

No MOT ... because a spider is in there.

[shaun1706]

That is an ace excuse! You would have to go some way to top that so hats off to the seller

[trigger]

WHAT I HAVE JUST TYPED IS 100% TRUE STOP LAUGHING !!!!!!

TBF i wouldn't drive it niether, i hate spiders!

[Richard]

What a fucking horrible car. That needs crushed immediately.

[maxpower]

What a fucking horrible car. That needs crushed immediately.

wiv da owna innit..innit

[autofive]

HOT NEWS JUST IN. We have a contender already...

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1996-VAUXHALL-CAL ... HOP:GB:101

 

 

That is THE best excuse EVER for a car not having an MOT.

doesnt the v6 have the rare six speed box?

 

if so, that was a cheap car

[Cavcraft]

HOT NEWS JUST IN. We have a contender already...

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1996-VAUXHALL-CAL ... HOP:GB:101

 

 

That is THE best excuse EVER for a car not having an MOT.

doesnt the v6 have the rare six speed box?

 

if so, that was a cheap car

I think only the C20LETs may have had the six speed boxes. Still a cheap car if only for the engine.

[trigger]

The Turbo's had the 6 speeder.

[carlo]

^ OI!

 

 

I sent that Calibra owner a message, which I hope will take him 2 hours to decipher:

 

Ow do m, sw u car n pstnhdz, no i thrggt YEAH, I WON IT!!! NO WO I MEAN M8? So snin mesig 2 U sn 1 wnni cum n av wit da WOSH WOOSH WOOSJ, as it got werkin dranfun box, n duz da six sped hear bok giv etr speed, duz u hn mi numbe n u cn see if i wan see exusast n m werkin 9 - 5 lk dl pat sng, so orll i ned iz a werkin car 2 geh m 2 werk n bk iow iz it 4 perol n iz da cra fassed? wo wil mi rinserins bee liek as i av got a Crosa 1.0 12v wish as a exusast dat i brought from peco n a trilld hairbox tha i trillld meselv so. f i kud ger rinserins iv foaned go cumper n the av sed dey wud rinser me turd partee for $7100 a yeer, do u fink dis is gud prise? wud u swop for Crosa wiv exasaut n modz n gv me too fousant as well as Croza iz fassed n as modz

I like that. If I could be arsed I'd copy something similar and text it as well.

[Richard]

You can send a message online too. *ahem* so I've heard anyway.

[Station]

I got a reply, he understood it!!!

 

aryt mate.. i cud undstand bits n bobz ov ur email... am nt up 4 any px... nd onli cash my friend... and if u r around i cn get u cheap incurance, u cn evenn drive a 6.0 liter car bh da incurance b still da same... i cn get u trade policy... wich will cocer u 4 ny car........up 2 50 thousand...

 

I don't understand his though!

[autofive]

I got a reply, he understood it!!!

 

aryt mate.. i cud undstand bits n bobz ov ur email... am nt up 4 any px... nd onli cash my friend... and if u r around i cn get u cheap incurance, u cn evenn drive a 6.0 liter car bh da incurance b still da same... i cn get u trade policy... wich will cocer u 4 ny car........up 2 50 thousand...

 

I don't understand his though!

hes saying he's an insurance broker

[chester drawers]

^ Presumably the vendor has contacts in credit hire / accident management too.

 

Minor bump to your K10 Micra bodykit? No problem Sir - the S Class will be with you in the morning

[Marshall]

"VAUXHALL CALIBRE"

Sharmone!

[CreepingJesus]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/pug-106-quiksilve ... 255bf1e190

Highlight of this one, for me, was the listing of 'Angel Eyes' as 'Safety Feature'. Closely followed by the passenger door issue. Top numpty-ism.

[Station]

doesnt the v6 have the rare six speed box?

 

if so, that was a cheap car

I think only the C20LETs may have had the six speed boxes. Still a cheap car if only for the engine.

Yeah, only C20LET cars had the F28's, this had the higher geared F25. I just bought a V6 engine for 200 quid which is really cheap, this was a bargain.

[Negative Creep]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/pug-106-quiksilver-modified-/160456368528?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item255bf1e190

Highlight of this one, for me, was the listing of 'Angel Eyes' as 'Safety Feature'. Closely followed by the passenger door issue. Top numpty-ism.

 

It is almost in legible English though. Almost.

[vicsmith]

That Calibra seems to have gone for weigh in money due to a spider being there. I wish I`d known about it, a cheap Calibra PLUS a nice big spider to take home and get up to mischief with - offering it to grandma in a crisp packet, putting it in dad`s coat pocket so it goes onto him next time he puts it on, things like that.