Awful American cars

[Station]

Finding shite American road cars is really like shooting fish in a big barrel of fish (with no water in it). There's some horrible examples out there, 1.9 CVH engines in a 2 tonne three box saloon with a front end that was copied across hundreds of variants of merely the same car, designed by executives so out of touch with the present time. American cars have always had an image problem (from the 70's onward anyway) in that they date really quickly due to realising they have to copy Japanese/European models five years after they've been released. You can only admire how uber-shite the standard road cars that were offered were.

And now, with the Ford Probe, the Plymouth PT Cruiser, and the Dodge Ram. Let's offer them some new shit in case they've forgotten how bad they are.

 

For my first case, I present you, the 1980 Ford Fairmont:

 

 

It came with a Pinto! If you were lucky, you got a Windsor V8, wheezing through a twin barrel carb, driving 3 speed autobox.

[VWPowered]

that the lightweight version

[brammy777]

1979 Cadillac Seville with the 5.7 V8 diesel engine. God knows who imported it over, but I wish Id heard it running.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

Isn't that a '79 Eldorado?

[Station]

1981 Dodge Aries. Does it get any better in this shade of brown with tan roof lining. 80bhp 2.2 engine through FWD.

 

[brammy777]

Isn't that a '79 Eldorado?

So it is...my bad. Did they even have the legendary Olds Diesel? This one does, anyway.

[ashmicro]

I know the power outputs of some of the "things" are woeful, but there is something wonderfully shite about Yank tin. Like the oft-destroyed cop cars in Hazzard or the A Team. Actually, does anyone know that model? Four rectangular stacklight on the front? If any fellow shiter know, I'd be grateful.

[Station]

Plymouth Fury was used as a standard in these types of thing:

 

 

 

You can just see it lurching and bouncing even in static pictures.

[ashmicro]

That's the badger! Thank you Station!

 

[ashmicro]

T J Crapper model of the Fury

 

 

 

If only, I could get a working model of a 20 year old Hather Locklear! DING DONG

 

Sorry Fatboy, you're never gonna catch that helicopter

 

[Minimad5]

Dave, i think you have made Ash's night

 

I have always been surprised at how little power the Americans get from there huge engines.

Yet someone can easily get 200BHP from a tiny jap box, mental i say

[Guest]

I like all these, soz!

[sprig]

1974 Dodge Monaco aka 'bluesmobile'

 

 

you can have your very own paper version by following this link.......

 

http://www2.darringer.com:8080/carta/images/model-bluesmobile2.jpg

[Milford Cubicle]

 

LOLOLOLOLOL AMERICAN CARS, they all have springs from an 18th century peasant's cart and engines from a Cugnot steam car

 

I like them too, there is something charmingly shonky about American cars of the '70s and '80s.

Also, I have flung the hubcaps off a lot of them in the game Driver

[Mr Lobster]

I've never really been into American stuff tbh, but one of these definately appeals -

 

 

 

 

 

[dollywobbler]

I love the sound of V8s, but most are more powerful than I like. Something with a 7-litre V8, but the same power to weight ratio of my 2CV sounds frankly perfect. Can't see the point of four-cylinder Yank Shite though.

[Station]

I like them too, there is something charmingly shonky about American cars of the '70s and '80s.

Also, I have flung the hubcaps off a lot of them in the game Driver

I like them too!

[Lukas]

I´d always have a Mazda 929L instead!

 

 

Looks like an american car, but with all the OJC-goodness!

[sprig]

I love the sound of V8s, but most are more powerful than I like. Something with a 7-litre V8, but the same power to weight ratio of my 2CV sounds frankly perfect. Can't see the point of four-cylinder Yank Shite though.

Possibly a Lincoln Continental for you then, Early to mid 70's mark IV packing a 7.5 litre V8 producing just over 200bhp, That coupled with the fact its nearly as long as the M6 you'll probably find it's not far off a similar sort of power to weight ratio as your 2CV.

[ashmicro]

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarattes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

 

 

 

[Lankytim]

Iv'e got to admit, I hate 99% of yank shite but Im quite enjoying all the cars in this thread. I think it must be the 1980's yanks I dont like much. Id love a 70's yank land yacht but imagine living with one every day.. the cost of fuelling it, where do you park it? arrgh!!

[ashmicro]

Some 70's Yank tin music:

 

 

Glorious!

[Cavcraft]

Recent convert to Yank shite and have to say the seventies chod should be right in our radar.

A woody estate or some of tacky, draylon trimmed two door horror should be a great laugh. I don't reckon the big engine/shit power ratio should be such a worry either, as you wouldn't buy one for the speed.

[Lukas]

The car out of my nightmares...

 

 

 

That´s almost as bad as the 70s UK-cars like the Allegro...

[ashmicro]

Er kritisiert das Allegro. Ketzer! Das Allegro ist wunderbar. Ich glaube das du spinnst!

[Lankytim]

The car out of my nightmares...

 

 

That´s almost as bad as the 70s UK-cars like the Allegro...

SHUT IT!!!

 

"Almost as bad", pah!

[Captain Mainwaring]

Plymouth Valiant. Slant six shitbox.

 

 

Underpowered in this guise, and comparitively slow to, say, a rusty Peterbilt truck towing an equally rusty tanker trailer.

[sprig]

Also worth a mention from the American Motors Corporation is the Pacer with its futuristic design & different length doors.....

 

 

 

& the gremlin.....

 

 

[Captain Mainwaring]

I think the Pacer looks quite flattering from that rear quarter view.

 

Supposedly bigger than a Granada. Doesn't look it...

[ashmicro]

Pacer at the start. Cassette FTW!