I'll get round to it at some point - Bratislava and Back: Things not to do in a mk2 Clio

[fatharris]

Really glad I sat down and caught up with this thread, it's remarkable how many parallels I've been drawing with my own vehicles....

 

......shall we go in a corner together and have a little weep?

 

SAFE TRAVELS!

[Rust Collector]

Nuremberg achieved!

Look at the poor little bastard scraping its arse along the floor like it has worms. I’ve definitely gotten familiar with the feel of the bump stops on this journey.

It made it on a single tank’s worth, but due to sludge issues I pussied out and chucked 15 litres in when it was at a quarter tank just in case. For anyone who likes fuel figures, the onboard tripe-computer says it’s done 61.8mpg - that does include all my local driving though, I reckon it’d be higher if I was organised enough to reset it before I left. Not bad considering it’s spent most of the day going 80mph, filled with family, tools and assorted crap.

Phun Phact: I was desperate for a piss whilst on the autobahn, and randomly chose an exit hoping for an unsuspecting town to urinate on. As chance would have it, I stumbled on the German twin town to Wokingham. Here’s my son enjoying their kinder-egg-surprise-platz, or whatever a play park is called in German.

The only mechanical issues today have been my son kicking my seat to the point that the airbag and service light now flash on randomly which makes my heart palpitate each time, there’s a knocking noise between 58 and 64mph (easily sorted - speed up, or slow down if you have no sense of adventure), all the trim whistles like a bastard at motorway speed, Bluetooth fm adapters are somehow even worse than they were 10 years ago, and then finally to round it all off, I suffered catastrophic underpants failure when getting out the car and so I had a brief moment of panic when checking in at the hotel where I realised that my cock and balls were on the loose and I couldn’t recall if I’d done my fly up after watering German Wokingham. So all in all, a fairly normal journey.

No free parking left, so I had to stump up ten Europe pounds for a space in the proper carpar. Serendipity struck, and I parked my 22 year old car in space 22, without realising.

This is the leg left for tomorrow.

Less miles, but somehow still hours and hours of getting my chair kicked whilst the air conditioning doesn’t work.

Pray for my soul.

[rob88h]

Smol car, big trip. 
Enchanting levels of misery. 
Just goes to show you that luxobarges are completely unnecessary.

[Rust Collector]

3 minutes ago, rob88h said:

Smol car, big trip. 
Enchanting levels of misery. 
Just goes to show you that luxobarges are completely unnecessary.

All this time we’ve been asking ourselves ‘can a family of four travel 1000 miles in a mk2 Clio’, instead of ‘should a family of four travel 1000 miles in a mk2 Clio’.

Or something like that.

Don't get me wrong, I love the car and I think it’s a determined little thing. it’s not the most comfortable way to cover the miles though.

If the aircon was working, or it was freezing cold out, it’d probably be fine to be fair. I don’t even notice the kicking now, after 15 hours 🤣

[Rust Collector]

We made it!

7 hours of 80mph on autobahns, 63+ mpg delivered. No functional a/c so I’m fucking cooked.

Proud of the car for getting us here though, and now I filling myself with beer and plum spirits.

[IronStar]

Surely there’s a aircon shop in Bratislava that will fix your aircon for less than it would cost in the UK so you don’t get cooked on the way back?

[Rust Collector]

6 minutes ago, IronStar said:

Surely there’s a aircon shop in Bratislava that will fix your aircon for less than it would cost in the UK so you don’t get cooked on the way back?

The thought has definitely gone through my mind, although I guarantee that if I fix the a/c then it snows all the way home.

[wesacosa]

great news. Enjoy the holiday . Will be in Bratislava myself in November but not via Renault Clio and suspect Aircon won't be needed 

[somewhatfoolish]

On 18/09/2024 at 19:02, Rust Collector said:

The thought has definitely gone through my mind, although I guarantee that if I fix the a/c then it snows all the way home.

That would be a win on points shirley? Guaranteed arse sweat avoidance.

[artdjones]

On 18/09/2024 at 20:02, Rust Collector said:

The thought has definitely gone through my mind, although I guarantee that if I fix the a/c then it snows all the way home.

Working a/c would make sure the car isn't steamed up all the way home in that case.

[Rust Collector]

I need to do a proper write up (rapidly becoming my catchphrase), but we are now en route to England again.

Well done Clio, only a couple more hours of limp mode until home!

[High Jetter]

Hope it's still watertight, rain has been heavy.

[Rust Collector]

14 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Hope it's still watertight, rain has been heavy.

It’s a French car with a pop up sunroof, so it’s watertight qualities are questionable at best!

[rob88h]

On 26/09/2024 at 21:37, Rust Collector said:

I need to do a proper write up (rapidly becoming my catchphrase),

Highly anticipated.