Miserable Wedding Cars

[Guest]

I've been finding a few cars lately which are advertised as wedding cars, might as well round them up here. It seems increasingly daft stuff is advertised as wedding cars nowadays, as you will see.

 

1974 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow

 

Lovely! Just what you want for your wedding, a scabby old Roller which has been left in a field and seemingly can't hold its water. To be fair at least this one is advertised as a project and probably would make a good wedding car if it was all fixed up.

 

1991 Mercedes-Benz 260E Limousine

 

"perfect for any wedding car fleet"

 

1994 Chevrolet Lumina

 

"i bought it from a man who was using it for wedding business"

 

1989 Vauxhall Eagle Quest Limousine

 

Amazingly, all that it takes to turn this from a funeral car to a wedding car is to stick a load of ribbons on it. Love the dowdy cloth interior with no headrests.

 

1995 Mercedes-Benz C180 Elegance Automatic

 

These ones are dual-purpose too - weddings during the day, unlicensed minicabs during the night.

 

1993 Jaguar XJ6 3.2

 

This one gets more funny the more you read into it - scabby arches, short wheelbase, no aircon. For bonus points they should rip out the engine and replace it with a rattly old diesel.

 

Can anyone top that? I'm sure we can dredge up something - bonus points for those horrible pretend "1930s style" kitcars, especially if they have a numberplate along the lines of "BNZ" or "OIL".

[mnde]

I saw a down at heel wedding car the other day and it got me thinking I'd love to see a cutprice wedding car - like a Merc with a long piece of brown parcel tape instead of ribbon... wrapped a couple of times around the badge on the bonnet (also serving to hold it in place cos some scrote tried to nick it) and the ends stuck either side of the windscreen , like "ah, that'll do!"Mark.

[Station]

If I arranged an old hearse for a wedding, I'd hope my future wife and her family would have a stupidly good sense of humour.

[Richard]

Our wedding car was a B-plate Mk2 Granada 2.3GL (it was September 1993) that was a licensed Private Hire car (that's effectively a taxi that can't be hailed, prior bookings only). It was on about 240k miles. Did the job perfectly well.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Not for sale, but for hire as a wedding car:

 

 

Leopard skin seats! It also says that retro snacks are included (Texan bars? Spangles? Pacers?). It also says that you can have the music of your choice - what better way to kick off your nuptuals than having The Sweeney theme tume on a constant loop..........

[FredTransit]

Not for sale, but for hire as a wedding car:

 

 

Leopard skin seats! It also says that retro snacks are included (Texan bars? Spangles? Pacers?). It also says that you can have the music of your choice - what better way to kick off your nuptuals than having The Sweeney theme tume on a constant loop..........

On an 8-track, of course....

[AnthonyG]

I saw a retro vintage wedding thing at the weekend, I thought it was a Panther De Ville but it had a 'Beaufort' badge on it. Love the old Mercedes C class - if the rear leg room's anything like a 190 it would be quite a cramped ride from church to reception.Might as well get a new Mondeo from Hertz, it would be a lot more comfortable!

[Rod/b]

I was looking into hiring the A-Team van (for the missus, her bridesmaids and her Dad) and the General Lee (for me and my best man).SWMBO found out what I was plotting. Suffice to say she was delivered to the venue in a rather nice Riley DHC...

[Mike D]

My mate hired an old Daimler as his wedding car, it was a right shitter, i was astounded when I saw it, the wings were all full of plod and bubbling everywhere, and when it started up in a squeal of fanbelt and a plume of blue smoke i nearly laughed my ass off.I drove to my wedding in my Mrs' R reg Starlet, and she went in her mums Diahutsu Terios. Autoshite weddings R us!

[lancashireclamper]

About 8 years ago I worked for a taxi firm in kendal, one of our "regular" customers was getting married and wanted the firm to take care of all the wedding parties transportational needs, hence one saturday in October the pride of the fleet; an N reg mondeo td bedecked with 75 pence worth of ribbons from wilkinsons and my J reg escort diesel, (red with a maroon door) made the bride and groom's day to remember (still recall pissing myself laughing when the boss insisted I park with my 'odd' door facing away from the brides' parents front door lest we were considered a cowboy operation!!)

[HillmanImp]

I was looking into hiring the A-Team van

I tried convincing my mate to hire this for his wedding as we are A-team obsessives (except for the last series with that cunt Frankie Santana in).However his missus did not approve and wanted a free bar. My argument was that the guests would still pay for beer without a free bar, but no.The marriage only lasted 6 months so we may as well have done. Would have got the van for free too, as i would have dressed up as that smarmy arse Templeton 'Faceman' Peck, pretended i was from the 'ministry of car hiring out firms' and insisted we needed to test drive the van to ensure it met with all government legislative hire car regulations. Would have taken along my mate dressed up as BA disguised my engineer by wearing a workmans hat but still wearing £300k of gold. Aassistants in the ministry of car hiring out firms are well paid.

[Mr H Sceptre]

About 8 years ago I worked for a taxi firm in kendal, one of our "regular" customers was getting married and wanted the firm to take care of all the wedding parties transportational needs, hence one saturday in October the pride of the fleet; an N reg mondeo td bedecked with 75 pence worth of ribbons from wilkinsons and my J reg escort diesel, (red with a maroon door) made the bride and groom's day to remember (still recall pissing myself laughing when the boss insisted I park with my 'odd' door facing away from the brides' parents front door lest we were considered a cowboy operation!!)

Welcome to the site by the way Clamper.The so-called 'Management'

[Milford Cubicle]

[Mr Lobster]

^ She does look slightly less than delighted about the Tagora though doesn't she!

[warren t claim]

Only because she wanted to ride in the 180 next to it.

[ChinaTom]

Looking positively delighted when compared to this:

 

 

"I fawwt you meant a fookin' E-Type - I ain't goin' in viss - get summat else - my bruvver's Escort's got more room in the back. 'kin'ell!"

[Mr H Sceptre]

^ She does look slightly less than delighted about the Tagora though doesn't she!

Tough shit. If she doesnt buck her ideas up I'd consider a quickkie divorce.Whats that the tail end of to the right of the photo??

[Milford Cubicle]

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1995-SAAB-9000-CD ... 0483155833

 

I like this, would have to lose the pink streamers though.

[pogweasel]

Lest we forget...

[lancashireclamper]

Thank you Mr SOnly found the site recently but never fail to get a laugh daily now!!!!!

About 8 years ago I worked for a taxi firm in kendal, one of our "regular" customers was getting married and wanted the firm to take care of all the wedding parties transportational needs, hence one saturday in October the pride of the fleet; an N reg mondeo td bedecked with 75 pence worth of ribbons from wilkinsons and my J reg escort diesel, (red with a maroon door) made the bride and groom's day to remember (still recall pissing myself laughing when the boss insisted I park with my 'odd' door facing away from the brides' parents front door lest we were considered a cowboy operation!!)

Welcome to the site by the way Clamper.The so-called 'Management'

[strangehighways]

Please can we have more info on this!! Your car? If not, did you search a long time to find it??

[Pete-M]

That's a Prague reg plate on the Tagora.

[Milford Cubicle]

Nah I don't think I'm Czechoslovakian.I found it when looking up Talbot Tagora images, like you do.

[dollywobbler]

The horrible things you are after are called Beaufords. Quite a lot in the Gretna Green area, the absolute kingdom of chintz.

[Justin Case]

From the Saab 9000 ad

I did have a bump. I am hoping to get the light fixed, this is the last picture, the body work is not bad for age, few scuffs on the corners of the bumpers, small black strip missing of driver side, wiper on front headlight missing, seatbelt is missing on on of the folding seats

Sounds like the perfect Autoshite Wedding Services car

[Richard]

My somewhat tainted view of marriage is, that if you have to rely on the cars, trimmings, venue, menu, etc. to have a good wedding then you are probably marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Exactly, that's why we had a shabby old Granada and hired the village hall. Some of the guests still say it was one of the best they'd been to.

[HillmanImp]

Cav_Estate of this very forum managed to get his Hillman Imp working last week to use as a wedding car (for his own wedding).Bit different when its your own wedding like, i am sure that many peeps on here would be happy to roll up to their wedding in a F reg Carlton.

[Mr Lobster]

Bit different when its your own wedding like, i am sure that many peeps on here would be happy to roll up to their wedding in a F reg Carlton.

I had my R4 van as wedding car - left it parked right at the front of the venue for the day and had a few wedding pictures with it. Makes the whole thing a bit more personal rather than having some old Roller or whatever. And a massive amount cheaper!

[dollywobbler]

Yup, nowt like using your own, or special cars rather than hired in poshness. My wife and I arrived on 2 2CVs, me on my own one. We had platforms put into the boot floor and rode them in like chariots! We then departed the ceremony (held in a field, humanist ceremony, staw bales and a harmonium) on the back of my 2CV - which by this point was displaying some crazy reverse rake...When a friend got married, she dreamt of being taken to the ceremony in a DS. My friend bought one about that time but when he went to collect it from France, it caught fire! He spent several days trying to sort it out before borrowing a DS from the chap who'd tried selling him the first DS. He drove it back to blighty, we dropped some ribbons on it and job was a good'un. Should have seen her face when she set eyes upon it...

[seth]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/60-s-70s-Vintage-British-Wedding-Car-Hire-Unique_W0QQitemZ260505901898