Clarkson at it again

[Guest]

Dear Mr Wobbler,

 

Re: Strictly Come Dancing

 

With regards to your previous post regarding this matter, your excuse has been duly noted and forwarded to the appropriate parties for consideration.

 

However, whilst there is a possibility of "gorgeous girls in skimpy frocks", we do not consider it to be a suitable excuse in order to watch the show.

 

In view of this, we have no option but to proceed with a bit of fun at your expense. This will commence immediately.

 

Ha ha ha - Dollywobbler watches Strictly Come Dancing! Tee hee! Ho ho!

 

We wish you all the best in the future and if you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us.

 

Yours Sincerely,

Autoshite Committee

[seth]

LOLHIRST But more LOL at Dolly (not with, at.)Bring back Salvage Squad I say. But without the annoying twunt.

[ashmicro]

Dolly, is the exhaust on your Deux leaking? I think you must have carbon monoxide poisoning!

[Mr Lobster]

watching gorgeous girls in skimpy frocks prancing about.

In the interests of 'research' I have just looked up these alleged 'Gorgeous Girls'Natalie Cassidy?Linda Bellingham?Jo Wood?http://www.bbc.co.uk/strictlycomedancing/couples/O RLY!?!?!

[The Liberator]

that gurning ol' chap who doesn't seem to know what humour is.

Huw Edwards?

[retrogeezer]

Millions of people enjoy Top Gear, but millions of people enjoy Strictly Come Dancing and that's a right load of balls.

Cheers for that Hirst, my new signature methinks!

[GJR 11L]

Linda Bellingham?

And why not indeed? Time machine, early '70s, that scene from one of the "Confessions" films.......

 

 

Hmm, I suspect that he knows a lot more about various bits of a car than you think. He's been one of the UK's best known motoring journalists for over 20 years.

 

His comments like the one above are there to wind people up. He's trying to make cars 'cool', and by saying things like that he makes it easier for 'non-car' people watching Top Gear to feel comfortable. Of course he knows what double wishbone suspension is, you're not really that gullible are you? If Top Gear were to waffle on about double wishbone suspension it'd lose about 100 million viewers worldwide, and a large percentage of the people who watch it for entertainment. It would go back to being the flop it was in the late 90's when they killed it off completely. The flop with Kate Humble doing 'consumer' items and the like. Remember it? It was shite. That's why they don't go on about suspension geometry, and that's why they always stop James May before he starts getting technical.

 

People watched the old Top Gear for Jeremy, for Tiff going sideways, for Quentin taking the piss and for VBH's dirty laugh, When Jeremy left it went shite, so they killed the old format and it skulked off to become Fifth Gear.

 

The consumer bollocks they replaced it with just didn't work. Panic Mechanics with Trevor Nelson? WTF? Get it off. Jason Barlow showing you how to buy a car? I think not. Dominic Littledick showing you how to avoid being ripped off? No mate. All failed dismally.

 

They gave Top Gear to Clarkson and he made it work. Dawes was removed rapidly (I suspect he was only there to keep a programme planner happy by doing consumer stuff to get the show back on the air) to be replaced by James May doing interesting stuff. Hammond basically gets what a younger version of the old Tony Mason or Steve Berry would along with a few road tests, and Clarkson is an amalgam of Jeremy, Quentin and Tiff - driving sideways, taking the piss and telling you not to buy boring cars.

 

It works perfectly. Leave James May to do all the stuff the anoraks enjoy and take the piss out of him while you're at it. Get Hammond to do the schoolboy fantasy stuff and generally piss about in mud and the like, and Clarkson gets to drive the big fast V12 type stuff sideways while making comments to annoy 'Disgusted of Uttoxeter' and the Marina Owners Club. The challenges are there for everyone - and lets face it, if you had a Bugatti Veyron and someone paying the fuel bill to screw it across Europe you would. Well, I hope you would, I definately would. You'd have trouble stopping me. There's even a bit of Autoshite for the celebrity laps. Who wouldn't kill for a go at a lap in the Lacetti or the Liana?

 

If Clarkson was as thick as you're making out, he wouldn't be a multi-millionaire, he'd be a bloke on usenet going apeshit about someone dropping a piano on a Marina - or indeed dropping a Scorpio from a crane (but that's a different matter...)

 

Top Gear is the only TV programme about cars that works. It's the only one in the world that is shown in about 100 countries, and it's the only one in the world that gets huge viewing figures every week. When Clarkson left, it died. When they gave it to Clarkson it turned into the biggest motoring show on the planet. Clueless? I think not.

 

Without Clarkson there would be bugger all chance of three UK channels showing different episodes of any car programme simultaneously and one channel that pretty much shows them all day, and that's what happens now. Can you imagine that with Classic Gear? Nah. Driven? Nah. Anything with Mike Brewer? Nah. The old 'Chris Goffey / William Woollard' Top Gear, No fuckin' way.

If only one post on the subject of Top Gear were allowed to be seen on the entire web, then that should be it! Why?

Simple, I think that because

There seems to be a large number of people who think they can do better.

OK, and also because it's part of a thread that takes the waz out of Raymanboy and his delightfully eccentric ways, actually a similar autism to the one I'm blessed with, but Ray is so bloody funny.

 

[Guest]

Cheers for that Hirst, my new signature methinks!

Crikey I should start getting royalties for them, there's at least a couple of me blabbing on about rubbish on RR too. They just seem to turn up.

[Mr H Sceptre]

just watched the TG where Clarkson 'tests' the Peel P50. I genuinely think that was a really good feature: entertaining, funny, and very complimentary of the car. Shame he mentions how he likes Fiona Bruce's arse. I hate Fiona Bruce. Singularly responsible for the dumbing down of BBC news. At least Sophie Rayworth reads the news with a concerned frown.Im starting to ramble, Ive had an afternoon drink, its my birthday....

[Rusty Pelican]

Difference of opinions all round then , I like Top gear but take it for what it is , its not a car show as such anymore more an entertainment show loosely based around either Clarkson or cars , cant work out which , I like Fiona Bruce but cant work out why , As for strictly come dancing i cant even bring myself to watch the shite , same for x factor ,

[M'coli]

Happy Birthday, Mr. Sceptre!

[Mr Lobster]

Happy Birthday Mr HS! I'll have a drink now to celebrate.....

[Rusty Pelican]

Have a great birthday Mr Septre , cheers for letting me stay on here

[MrDuke]

Many happy belated returnzorzzz!!11!1The only time I really disliked vintage TG was when Tony Mason started burbling on about some random tractor or steam lorry (but I suppose someone loved him) - I think it had a perfect combination going, make it an hour long and that format, with really good production values, would easily hold its own today.I was kinda getting at the image of Clarkson rather than the man, as well - it's sad that the show has to pander to a national stereotype rather than being informative. A bit like Newsnight being re-formatted as Have I Got News For You, so that more people will watch it. Although media success and knowledge don't always go hand in hand, especially when someone has a limitless supply of one-liners to use.And no, I probably couldn't pluck anything more successful from my own imagination. Mainly, I suspect, because I'd have trouble persuading Anna Friel or Keeley Hawes to wax lyrical about Volvo 480 Turbos, or discuss the finer design points of a Daimler SP250...

[Talbot]

Best entry gets an 'Autobooks' Talbot Horizon workshop manual.

Pah! You'll need a better prize than that. Already have one of them...!

[CIH]

Many happy belated returnzorzzz!!11!1And no, I probably couldn't pluck anything more successful from my own imagination. Mainly, I suspect, because I'd have trouble persuading Anna Friel or Keeley Hawes to wax lyrical about Volvo 480 Turbos, or discuss the finer design points of a Daimler SP250...

Hey it's their loss....

[fotorabia]

I still like Clarkson on Top Gear, but he is a boorish middle aged twat, albeit a wealthy boorish middle aged twat. The DVD's are aimed squarely at the tattoed underclasses who find wanton destruction entertaining - you only need to go to a banger race to find a rich seam of these untermensch.

 

You just beautifully generalised my whole locality..im tattooed and i go to banger racing..and Top Gear is on a channel the rabbit ears on my minute telly doesn't receive...but its certainly mindless entertainment i occasionally see at mates after the V8 Supercars on a Sunday night..