Shitting in the shallow end. *Arse friends Electric*

[Jim Bell]

We are now passing....... Durham. 

 

Tourist trivia. 

Durham was founded in 1935 by Geoffrey Durham, first husband of the late Victoria Wood. 

Formerly a pit village with a posh celebrity church, the arrival of Mr. Durham kick-started a resurgence of good fortune for the town and his trade mark catchphrase "Peef Paff Poof" can be seen carved into the pale sandstone frontages of many on the municipal buildings in the old quarter. 

 

Durham FC play in the Zanussi Northern Premiership. They won their last game against Spennymoor Racing 1-0. 

[Jim Bell]

With Gregg's being closed, I'm having to resort to a breakfast that I've managed to steal from a child further up the carriage while his mam had nipped to the toilet. 

He's not crying or anything, so it's pretty much a victimless crime. 

[Jim Bell]

We are currently arriving in: Darlington. 

Tourist trivia

Darlington is most famous for its Celebrity Cannibal Killer David Harker whom devoured the thigh meat of his victim along with pasta and a can of Carlsberg Special Brew. 

 

 

He was subsequently banned from all present and future series of both MasterChef, Jnr MasterChef and The Great British Bake Off. He was also sent to the jail. 

 

Darlington FC went bust in 1997 but reformed as Darlington Railway 42069 in 2001. They play in the Radox Eastern Conference. Their current top scorer Clint Lozenge once had a trial in Manchester. 

But it was for breaking and entering. 

[Jim Bell]

We will soon be arriving at:

Northallerton. 

Tourist info:

This year Northallerton got its first mobile phone mast. Unfortunately, due to the topography of the town and the height of the the buildings around the mast, the only place that you can get a decent reception is near the flowerbeds outside the Town Hall. 

 

Northallerton Railwaymen AFC play in the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Regional Division Four Premier League. 

Their current Goalkeeper, Terry Halifax, once ate 6 hot dogs for a bet. 

[Shirley Knott]

Is it time for guesses yet?

Im going to stick my neck out and say you're on the way to collect a diesel 205 in duck egg blue...?

Irrespective of any of that, I'm working today so a JB collection saga is just what I need to keep the entertainment fires burning and avoid death by boredom. Bravo!

As you were

[Jim Bell]

Guesses always welcomed man. 

 

[garbaldy]

Good luck on your travels  😉   take it easy as up here it's been freezing all night until it started raining about 5am and the roads are lethal, I've  been struggling to get any real speed since I left at 6am,   unfortunatly I'm heading norther too.

[Jim Bell]

Next stop is York. 

Tourist titbits:

York was actually meant to be called Fork, as it lies at the convergence of two major rivers. But when they were filling the forms out, they let the lad with the worst handwriting do it and his F looked like a Y. 

Undaunted by the error, the people of Fork (York) went on to invent the Yorkshire pudding and saving money rather than spending it. 

There's also a little road that looks like Hobbits and Harry Potter would buy their bits there. Not the big shop, but bit and bobs.  Magic cheese or haunted bin bags or whatever. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Just now, garbaldy said:

Good luck on your travels  😉   take it easy as up here it's been freezing all night until it started raining about 5am and the roads are lethal, I've  been struggling to get any real speed since I left at 6 unfortunatly I'm heading norther too.

Take it easy Gary. Safe journey man. 

[garbaldy]

Thanks you too I'm picking up two wheels so gonna be a cold run back .

[Bitzer]

One look at that Harry-frigging-fucker-Potter-esque street inspires me to guess original Panda in 750-ccm FIRE flavor or one of those special edition Seicentos.

[loserone]

Given you're in a big thirsty barge, it can only be something smoll and economical.

 

Perodua Kenari?

Invacar?

C15?

[Jim Bell]

 

 

Doncast achieved. 

[Jim Bell]

We are now leaving Doncast.

Tourist info. 

Doncast recently disbanded it's Association Football team after their star player and former Newcastle United trainee James Coppinger announced his intended retirement. 

The team was replaced by local singer/songwriter Clare Le Font, who now performs on the pitch at Meadow Lane each Saturday, accompanied by her uncle Derek on grand piano. 

 

 

 

Last week she was beaten 34-0 by Plymouth Argyle. 

[garethj]

1 hour ago, Jim Bell said:

Durham was founded in 1935 by Geoffrey Durham, first husband of the late Victoria Wood. 

Formerly a pit village with a posh celebrity church, the arrival of Mr. Durham kick-started a resurgence of good fortune for the town and his trade mark catchphrase "Peef Paff Poof" can be seen carved into the pale sandstone frontages of many on the municipal buildings in the old quarter. 

 

Durham FC play in the Zanussi Northern Premiership. They won their last game against Spennymoor Racing 1-0. 

Lord Wreath would be proud; this is to inform and entertain.  He didn’t mention counting poo, which must have been some kind of oversight or administrative error on his part👍

[Jim Bell]

Speaking of defecation, PC has now DOUBLED.  Up one to two. I hope this is not indicative of a mathematical trend.  

[Wgl2019]

An exponential rise in toileting could be an issue. 🙀

[Jim Bell]

We are now passing Newark. 

Tourist info. 

Newark has one of the oldest vertically elevating transporter bridges in the local area. Google says it stands at almost two hundred feet high and has a span of almost five thousand yards. 

 

 

 

Newark Timberwolves play in the AFC East and hold the division record for rushing and sacks. 

[Jim Bell]

We are now arriving at Grantham. 

Trivia fact. 

I once met Leslie Grantham (ITVs Dirty Den from EastEnders) in Jesmond. He was with an older fella and he stopped me in the street and asked me where the nearest bus stop was to get a bus into town. I told him there was a Metro station just behind him and that trains ran every six minutes to the city centre. 

He said "No mate we need a bus coz we wanna use our passes"

And he waggled his OAP buss pass in the air performatively. 

I pictured in my mind where the closest bus stop was, and then relayed complicated instructions that would lead him in the opposite direction to a flat I used to live at years earlier. 

He was starring in the stage version of Dad Army at the Theatre Royal that evening, so I hope he never made it. 

 

 

 

Grantham Ladies are currently top of the women's football league and regularly play in front of crowds of tens of fans. 

[Jim Bell]

I think I may be recycling some of these trivia facts from earlier collections actually. Apologies if this is the case.  

[Jim Bell]

Suns up now. 

We are just pausing outside of Peterboghorror to gather our thoughts, take a deep breath and press on into the Fens. 

[sdkrc]

25 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

I think I may be recycling some of these trivia facts from earlier collections actually. Apologies if this is the case.  

Crack on man, I can't wait to read them next time as well

[loserone]

1182/6, would read trivia again.  In fact I might print this out for reading in the smallest room

[Jim Bell]

News from the smallest room in Peterborough train station. 

 

 

 

Thanks Sam. 

But refill your soap dispenser. 

Seriously.  

[Jim Bell]

Think I may have reached THE CORRIDOR OF UNCERTAINTY. 

[Jim Bell]

We are now departing Peterbrough. 

Tourist facts.  

If you come to Peterbrough cathedral on the first Sunday after Micklemass with a clipboard and a scarf, the archdiocese is legally compelled to provide you with two wives of childbearing age. 

You must also bring with you a scarf and clipboard for EACH WIFE for the proceedings to be legally binding. 

 

 

 

Kenny Lilette seen here with his new wives (Karen and Karen B.) after last year's ceremony. 

 

Peterbrough have a football team of sorts, which usually plays in one of the English football divisions. Never the same one twice.  

[BeEP]

Wave as you go past.  Well, March is 11 miles away from me so I may not see you, but it's the thought that counts...

[SRi05]

[Timewaster]

Ooh, I could  get on my bike and pedal down to the level crossing to wave at the passing hero.

 

*looks out of window* 

 

Yeah ,its raining, Good luck with the collection.

[Fabergé Greggs]

Coronavirus cases since March '20:

Jim Bell PC since 5am: 

COINCIDENCE??

OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!