1993 E36 316I München Express Automatisch

[Hawkeyethenoo]

There I was a enjoying an quiet, quite normal Sunday evening trawling Evilbay, Gummerbush and Achtiltrader with no real intention of buying anything, honest guv. When a humble but clean looking 1993 E36 316I München Express Automatisch pops up dead centre of my shite radar with the price that's right attached at a indy dealer located not more than 30 miles from my very own, arm chair. Worthy of a phone call at 6pm on a Sunday, fully expecting and getting the dreaded, vice mail. Note of interest left, phone me back about the BMW-BRUV - and I left it at that, my mind being boggled at the knowledge that yon Silverstone MotoGP was simply, cancelled, because of a bit of rain, in England! Of all fecking places, the bastards, I ventured to the wife.... Whom was also similarly, unimpressed. Anyway, moving on and that, ken...

 

The dealer, Stephen phoned me back. Yes, this is a bit of a timewarp car. 5 owners, 77,000 miles, all the original stuff down to the supplying dealer plates, toolkit, warning triangle and rechargeable torch in the glovebox. Does that light yer candle? Yes it jolly well does. Hit me with yer bank details and I'll see you tomorrow (today at around 3pm) for collexshion, mate.

 

Wife advised and that scornful look (which makes one feel like you're 3 and actually needing to potty but not telling anyone) dispatched in my general direction, I then ask if she might be around to give me a lift to central Fife tomorrow around 2pm? I suppose so..... 

 

She doesn't hate it that much then and I'm already hatching a plan for this car, more on that story later and it's off to bed to dream the dreams of an Ultimate Driving Machine owner, circa 1993, natch....

 

Because tomorrow is collection day, boyo. BMW-BRUV-INIT! E36!

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Three centuries dispatched via the mystery that is, online banking, this very AM with the balance of eighty and ten promised on arrival, as TBH, I had my doubts that this really could be the Ultimate Driving Machine of my hopes and shite dreams....? Colour me cynical if you must.

 

Wee trip over the Glen and far away & once through Passport control and into the Kingdom, we proceeded to the dealers locus and there parked slightly illegally on the pavement was the 1993 E36 316I München Express Automatisch, looking resplendent in the late summer sunshine in metallic blue. I was immediately drawn to the 15" (plastic) hub caps and hardy steel wheels underneath and the x4 matching Toyo tyres, always a good sign on a car.

 

Very quick look over done, yes it appears as descibed-ish and looks on the face of it as if they previous owners have given a shit and kept it pretty straight. In I go to meet with the dealer and get it bought. Stephen goes round the car with me and points out the faults, both front electric windows and sunroof, yes this is an SE, are not working, but it goes stops and drives well and is MOTED until 1st OCT. MOT history is good on the car with minimal advisories and none for structural corrosion. Worst being slight play noted on both inner steering rack joints and slight corrosion on OSR brake pipe. German rubbish, honestly....

 

Directions for nearest petrol station sought and secured we're off, left then next right and sanctuary of Tesco filling station was reached and petrol light danger extinuished. First thoughts are, it's slow, but it rides nice, drives okay and it's quite a nice place to be with all that 90's velour. I've missed that.

 

Out of town and making for Knockhill, I'm quietly surprised at just how quiet it is and how well it handles potholes. Up comes a set of wheel known bends and after a bit of becoming accustomed to the performance parameters of the vehicle, officer, I'm chucking it into bends and leaning my way round them with surprising self assurance for a 25 year old banger. Power output was 100bhp when new but it's that nice balance of a car that has more in the way of handling than power and the matching Toyo tyres are also up to the job in the dry at least. Quick emergency brake test ---- and it pulls up very promptly, the ABS clearly works just fine.

 

Half way through the Glen I stop for a look under the bonnet to check out the power house that is the 1596cc 8v and take a few snaps. The engine is mounted way back in the bulkhead as there must be a good 2 foot between the front panel and the motor. I spot a new looking Bosch battery, fresh looking alternator and new alternator belt. Everything else looks as it should be roginal in that nicely dirty and not been fecked with, kinda way.

 

 

 

Sorry no pez shot - what a fool I am....

 

 

So 30 mile trst-drive home goes well, no issues really so I park up at home and begin to wonder what the best approach is with the no functioning windows. Drivers window is not sitting right in the door frame, so suspect the regulator, but neither window is getting power so there's more going on than that which will need investigating. BMW should have just went with roll up windaes, the yins fitted to the rear roll up and down with the lever perfect. This modern electric stuff is shite!

 

All in all been pretty good day and since I've got back and gone through the history of the car, there's receipts for at least a couple of bags of sands worth of work being done to the car over the last 4 years, including a replacement rear diff', camshaft seal, timing belt, gearbox fluid change etc. etc. Well done that man is all I can say. Every car dies a debtor to some poor sod. But for me, today at least, I was WINNING at life!

 

 

Cheers. Hawkeyethenoo.

[jumpingjehovahs]

Looks like a good one! Can’t knock the asking price either! Look forward to the updates.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rantingYoof]

You aren't terribly far away from a certain white one of this parish

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/25167-the-bavarian-misery-wagon/

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Glacier blue - fitting, as the glacier will outperform the 316i Automatic. Have fun with the sport/economy gearbox mode switch. Engage S and be prepared for the extra revs and noise but no discernible increase in performance.

 

Looks nice. Please don't mod it. 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

There I was a enjoying an quiet, quite normal Sunday evening trawling Achtiltrader 

 

 

 

I though that was Auchterarder. 

[bigfella2]

I had one of these years ago, 316 auto. Mine was ex stolen recovered motor and was a bit of a dog. Had problems with the box and when started from cold it sounded herendously tappety, as these use a spray bar to lube the cams like a pinto. Providing it's the engine carried over from the E30.

 

As mentioned above the sports button for the box was just comical. Remember getting my ass kicked by a 90bnp Passat TDI on a dual carriageway, the owner was pissing himself with laughter. Well bought.

[Guest Hooli]

Liked for the description. I assume the leccy windows are disabled so the power drain doesn't blunt the performance*

[spartacus]

Nicely bought, I think am E36 is a fine looking car, even in base with grey bumpers. Easy to fix too.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

I'm glad these are emerging from their bottom rung drug dealer / m3 replica chav chariot period.

 

Most cars with a prestige badge go through this period. Its no bad thing as it ultimately devalues the car to the point where we can get it bought, and also helps get rid of all the shit examples, leaving only the nice ones like yours.

 

I'd say values for good examples of these will firm up a bit now if they haven't ready.

 

Sent from my F3211 using Tapatalk

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I had one of these years ago, 316 auto. Mine was ex stolen recovered motor and was a bit of a dog. Had problems with the box and when started from cold it sounded herendously tappety, as these use a spray bar to lube the cams like a pinto. Providing it's the engine carried over from the E30.

 

As mentioned above the sports button for the box was just comical. Remember getting my ass kicked by a 90bnp Passat TDI on a dual carriageway, the owner was pissing himself with laughter. Well bought.

 

 

 

First job - cam cover off, whip off the spray bar and run a small drill through the oil holes to clear/enlarge them slightly.

[Supernaut]

Good god, a 316 automatic?!

 

That must be grim.

 

However, you have both fog light blanks! Jealous.

[dougiefourspeed]

E36 FTW. 

 

Looks very tidy sir. Top work. 

[w00dy]

I do like an early, grey bumpered E36. 1.6 8v appeals to my love of the misery spec too.

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Good god, a 316 automatic?!

 

That must be grim.

 

However, you have both fog light blanks! Jealous.

 

It's better now the tyres have been fully inflated. It's my son's car which I bought without his knowledge to replace his busted & rusted, Jazz. I was pretty sure he'd like it and sure enough he does. A lot. Today he's been busy washing it, hoovered it out, windows cleaned and tyres inflated. Plan hatched was for us to enter this http://www.bangerrallychallenge.co.uk/

 

Just heard that we have secured a place as a team has pulled out, so looks like we're off to Gib come October ! Feck !

 

Thanks to you all for the kind comments and piss taking. I hoped you'd all like it as much as we do.

 

Cheers and more on the car to follow.

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Also. How does one go about securing Autoshite dealer window stickers? This car really needs one!

 

TIA. John & Jake.

[SRi05]

I really love the shape of these old beemers, definitely on my list to have one day. Would love a 3 door one

[MorrisItalSLX]

Also. How does one go about securing Autoshite dealer window stickers? This car really needs one!

 

TIA. John & Jake.

 

Get on the blower to ruffgeezer, he'll hook you up.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Liked for the description. I assume the leccy windows are disabled so the power drain doesn't blunt the performance*

 

 

Joking aside, on the one I had if you switched the AC on going up that hill on the M40 near Stokenchurch, you could feel it slowing down. 

[JohnK]

Joking aside, on the one I had if you switched the AC on going up that hill on the M40 near Stokenchurch, you could feel it slowing down.

My old Volvo S40 1.6 used to do the same. Quite worrying in French mountains during a bloody heatwave!

 

Really like the look of this, I've had 4 E36 now with my first being a K plate 316i in white with grey bumpers and the same wheel trims. Even in Base spec however they do feel solid and well built.

[Guest Hooli]

That's why the AC clutch disengages at full throttle on most cars is it not? Or the manual always said it would 'back in t'day'.

[Ghosty]

That's way too good for a banger rally :/

[Hawkeyethenoo]

That's way too good for a banger rally :/

 

Don't worry, it's coming back, we hope, to live out a happy retirement here among the hills and glens.

 

In other news. Pre-MOT booked for next Tuesday. MOT man says he'll give it the once over and we'll take it from there. Will report back on the windae issue, shirley.

[Vince70]

We did a banger rally in a £50 E36 320 and it was a fantastic car for the job and the only real downside apart from a broken spring was fuel consumption but It was a six and the aircon was on most of the time.

But my mate ended up keeping it for a couple of years afterwards before selling it on and to be honest it will most probably do it the world of good to blow the cobwebs out.

I actually think the flames stayed on afterwards and he sold it like that years later as the buyer liked them.

[Guest Hooli]

Don't worry, it's coming back, we hope, to live out a happy retirement here among the hills and glens.

 

In other news. Pre-MOT booked for next Tuesday. MOT man says he'll give it the once over and we'll take it from there. Will report back on the windae issue, shirley.

 

Ghosty's name isn't Shirley

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Windaes now been looked at. Drivers side first. No power at window switch. Power found at fuse and fuse is fine. With door panel off, power found at motor and the regulator looks fine/shiny as it should as it was replaced in 2015. Could it be the silly dash mounted isolator switch thing? As I can't find any power at either window switch or sunroof switch? Tried swapping the roof switch for the left side window switch as they're the same and still no joy. Fecking Italian German electrics....

 

I've left it for tonight as it's getting dark. It has passed my pre-MOT, so is ready for MOT man tomorrow. Spot the under bonnet bodge.

 

 

 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Has it got the big relay on the drivers motor?

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Has it got the big relay on the drivers motor?

 

Doesn't appear so?

 

[Hawkeyethenoo]

Car dropped off with David our local MOT man this morning. Obvious faults.

 

NSF suspension arm bushing.

 

 

OSF suspension arm bushing.

 

 

Generally a bit crunchy underneath, but not too bad really for its age...

 

 

Will await a full report from David at 12pm today.

 

 

 

[Guest Hooli]

 

I've left it for tonight as it's getting dark. It has passed my pre-MOT, so is ready for MOT man tomorrow. Spot the under bonnet bodge.

 

IMG_20180831_19532216736.jpg

 

OEM* battery clamp I see