E46 BMW locked me out at the Co-Op

[flat4alfa]

Blipper not been working since got it so never use it.  Just used the key as previous owner did and it's been fine since I got it almost two months ago

 

Just got into the office and parked as usual.

Got out and locked the door.  But key would not release.  Or go left or right to lock <> unlock

 

Managed to get it to wiggle to the right after leaving it in door and counting to three. Door internal nipple popped up.  Some little small shard of glass popped out bottom of door, not thick enough for window glass, more like bulb glass.

 

Opened door.  Closed it again.  Moved it back to locking position, WINDOWS ALL WENT DOWN TOGETHER. 

 

Went to ignition.  Car starts, so not immobilised.  But all centre console window switches are ignoring, as are internal door window switches.

 

So I shut door and walked away.  ALL WINDOWS ARE STILL DOWN.  Excellent.

 

YBM?

 

 

I've got 7 hours left until night closes in and the Zombies come

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

This is exactly why I detest E46's and sold this steaming turd for 300 odd quid. Nothing but trouble.

 

If you have an allen key, open the drivers door, prise out the black blanking plug on the door rear inner edge and undo the allen key to pull the lock barrel out. Examine it to see if it's broken. If not loads of WD40 and exercise to free it up. Refit and hold the key over to lock for a few secs and it should* power all the windows up. If it is buggered, shut the door and insert a screwdriver or whatever into the lock unit and this should* lock the car and power the windows up. The fault may well be the GM5 body control module, an all in one coded in piece of shit that replaced the previous separate modules that were not coded in and very rarely failed.

 

Then weigh the fucking thing in. Or never lock it again - I never bothered.

[stephen01]

Sorry to hear troubles, not helpful but it was always okay for me, hopefully just a  blip.. 

[flat4alfa]

Cheers 

 

Right, just popped out to it and opened door

 

Got in, sucked my teeth for a sec.  Ignition, start, and while running then found all the centre console switches are now listening so the windows are all up. Relief. 

 

Moved it to a different, more accessible* parking spot

 

Got out and turned key to lock.  Something is adrift or borked there as the firmness is not there any more, it's like the barrel is now disconnected from its levers.

 

Walked away and went for a wee.

 

I never get this trouble with Alfas.

[dome]

Yeah, I had to do this on mine. You can get a lock repair kit on ebay.

 

The windows all going up/down are total closure/opening thing. It is meant to do that if you hold the key when locking/unlocking.

 

I sent off my key and got the battery replaced for £30. Saved me having to use the actual lock and have it break again.

Key batteries are a solder in job if you're feeling brave. I wans't. 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yeah, I had to do this on mine. You can get a lock repair kit on ebay.

 

The windows all going up/down are total closure/opening thing. It is meant to do that if you hold the key when locking/unlocking.

 

I sent off my key and got the battery replaced for £30. Saved me having to use the actual lock and have it break again.

Key batteries are a solder in job if you're feeling brave. I wans't. 

 

 

The repair kit is an absolute cunt to fit with no guarantee of success. Go to a breaker like Quarry Motors and buy a post 9/2000 door lock with a key, loads of lube and fit it. You can swap over the painted outer shell in seconds. You'll have two keys but at least it works. If the one you buy has the dreaded diamond key like yours (it almost certainly will) and a good battery, you can sync it to the original car key in seconds - I forget how it's done but it's along the lines of holding both keys together and pressing buttons. That will sync the new key to your GM5 module.

 

*shudders*

[dome]

The repair kit is an absolute cunt to fit with no guarantee of success. Go to a breaker like Quarry Motors and buy a post 9/2000 door lock with a key, loads of lube and fit it. You can swap over the painted outer shell in seconds. You'll have two keys but at least it works. If the one you buy has the dreaded diamond key like yours (it almost certainly will) and a good battery, you can sync it to the original car key in seconds - I forget how it's done but it's along the lines of holding both keys together and pressing buttons. That will sync the new key to your GM5 module.

 

*shudders*

mine was an 03 and still failed! And yes, it is a collosal cunt to fit and gave me no confidence it wouldn't break again, hence I forked out to get both my fob batteries replaced... 

[flat4alfa]

Cheers.  I do quite like sitting in this thing and bumbling along the motorway in too, as being SE Touring it's got leather and wood and it's quite comfy with a good heater and tunes. Plus the respect on the road is remarkable after driving about in Rovers, it's like I don't need to worry about shits in society cutting me off and bothering me - my Wife has commented the very same.  Plus our property value may* have been positively affected and therefore children are playing in the streets with smiles on their faces.

 

Ok, I have 4 options then?

 

1) send off existing key (or solder it myself) to get battery changed and then use that to 'blip' it locked.  But will it actually lock if some lever to the barrel is disconnected in there?

 

2) change-out the entire lock and barrel, then link the new key.

 

3) Buy a Rover 75 to replace it.

 

4) Replace the clutch on my Alfa 156 Wagon and get back where I started

 

 

[purplebargeken]

Options 3 and 4 are the best way.

 

Swap for a nice 75 somewhere.

[flat4alfa]

I do happen to have a 75 lined-up already (see other thread), and I was going to give this wagon to the Missus. 

 

Perhaps we live too close to Gunsmoke Luton to leave a car unlocked as the child seat will get pinched or one of the nice young diddycoy lads living in the lower field will use it as a toilet.

[Pillock]

 

 

I never get this trouble with Alfas.

You know something is shit when this phrase is appropriate.

[dome]

This is the same as the lock repair kit I bought. Not the actual one though so I can't vouch for it.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-E46-DOOR-LOCK-REPAIR-KIT-FRONT-RIGHT-6-PARTS-NEW-/220678864558

 

Obviously at £7 don't expect miracles but it might sort the problem. For a while

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It's worth a go at 7 quid. The two very similar looking bits above the roll pin are the cylinder sleeve for pre/post 9/2000. You need strong fingers, a tiny flat blade screwdriver and infinite patience. 

[DSdriver]

Does the SE stand for Selective Entry?

[purplebargeken]

^^ Oh that was a good one. Bloody good 

[oldcars]

75's have door lock issues too. My two fronts don't open off the fob. I need to replace both actuators but i can face it, took me ages to get one out of a scrapper at scb.

[flat4alfa]

Selective Entry

One for the Autoshite Lexicon I reckon?

 

 

Ok I snucked out of the office and into the lab and got the fob apart. Someone's been in there before and glued it together with Superglue.  This is like a life with Renaults

 

Multimeter says the old Panasonic rechargeable in this is at 3.2V.  Did notice obvious dry joint so tapped the iron on that.

Meter also showed all three microswitches are working

 

Car still starts.  Windows still up.  All doors all open and close so aren't locked despite the nipples being up.  The doors, not mine.

 

Looked up the sequence to recode the fob.  Will look at that later

[flat4alfa]

75's have door lock issues too. My two fronts don't open off the fob. I need to replace both actuators but i can face it, took me ages to get one out of a scrapper at scb.

 

So it's a commonality across 'BMW products' then?  Never had to replace a barrel on any Fiat Alfa or Lancia all these years.  A Volvo V40, yes, but the whole car cost £600.

[oldcars]

So it's a commonality across 'BMW products' then?  Never had to replace a barrel on any Fiat Alfa or Lancia all these years.  A Volvo V40, yes, but that cost £600.

Not sure if they are a bmw part or not, but you can program them to put windows and stuff down on T4. I really need to get mine changed, drivers one has been broken for over a year.

[flat4alfa]

RESULTS JUST IN!

 

'Recoding' the fob did nowt.  Tried a few times - no clicking sounds, no locking cycle, no beeping sounds; nowt

 

At least we can use the centre console panic button to lock all the other doors, so it will be more effort for Smackhead Dave to pinch the child seat in the rear.

 

Just spoke to Missus. She said that she thought it was odd that both front windows were 'open a jar' this morning when she got in to move it.

So, something happened in the night?

 

[purplebargeken]

Glad we had the nipple clarification. Hell yeah.

[barefoot]

I didn't know the things that pop up from the doors were called nipples.

[Mally]

Confirm 75 also has lock problems, and spare keys cost around £100.

That's not the only problem they have either.

[omegod]

Lad in works Dad has an owned from new 51 reg 316 coupe that apparently just shit it's timing chain , scrap man offering £115, I'm considering getting it to break, any parts particularly valuable? Apart from door locks which are obviously worth a fortune 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Coupe is 318Ci, Compact is 316Ti. No E46 316i Coupe in the UK.

 

Okay for £120 tops if it has nice black leather. No more though.

 

Coupe wings are 30 quid each if really good, bonnet 50 quid perhaps but you'll have it forever. £100 for a quiet diff, Black leather trim is anything from 50 quid (std) to £150 (Sport) but anything beige or grey or cloth is bonfire fodder. Steering rack with a purple metal tag is £50, Vanos units 35 quid each, Valvetronic motor £30, VVT sensor £20, untracked/unwarped plastic cam cover 30 quid. Rest of engine, gearbox, prop, panels, glass, lights, all near enough valueless. Working door lock units 25 quid a pop.

 

You're doing this to break and make money - E46's don't break very well anymore and most yards are brimming with them. You need to turn 100 quid into 400 by picking off the small but useful/valuable bits that are easily stored rather than big chunks of worthless shit like doors, gearboxes, struts etc.

[omegod]

/\ I shall stay away from that one then

[loserone]

I didn't know the things that pop up from the doors were called nipples.

 

I always thought they were mushrooms.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

/\ I shall stay away from that one then

 

 

Well, if the car is really clean, you have space for it and the time (6 months) you will sell most of it eventually. For £120 you cannot go wrong and you will make a profit - it will just take a few months.

 

I don't bother with them anymore unless loaded with goodies and silly cheap.