Travelling To France MKII - Another GGG Localised Climate Improvement Active

[Frogchod]

How can you not find grub in France ?   Any "les Routiers" type restaurants will do honest grub. The good ones will have loads of trucks and artisans vans parked up nearby.

You're fucked on a Sunday though.

Or any other time not 12 to 2.

Or August.

Or bank holidays.

Or when Austrians are visiting France

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

France was closed as usual, but that didn't keep us away from enjoying ourselves.

 

 

 

Aah, Chateau L'Merde 2014.

[Felly Magic]

Zut alors Pascale, le man of Junk est arrive, FERME, FERME!!!

[Junkman]

How can you not find grub in France ?

 

Because none is available, except burgers from some dubious fast food outlets.

[Junkman]

Aah, Chateau L'Merde 2014.

 

Chateau Migraine July 2017 more likely.

[Felly Magic]

You been drinking anti freeze again? 

[Junkman]

No, French wine.

[Felly Magic]

Same thing LOL

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Not at all. A good Bordeaux is a thing of magnificence.

[Junkman]

The Granada was perfect for the trip. Comfortable, relaxing and still keeping pace.

Well, it's not that big of an achievement to keep pace with how the English drive. I could do that with a Lanz Bulldog.

In France I'd need a Renault 4 though.

What I'm trying to say is that there are precious few goutrags left out there who actually keep pace with the Beastestate,

what with that zombie on valium speed they are all driving at, not the other way around.

[wuvvum]

It does seem that traffic has got even slower than usual over the last month or so.  When I can pull off multiple overtakes on a 15-mile commute in a 64bhp Renault Trafic you know something is a bit wrong.

[Junkman]

It's unbefuckinglievable.

Just watch, yes, watch, how they pull away from a traffic light in the UK!

My Grandma was quicker on her bicycle when she was in her Nineties.

And what's this slowing down toward a GREEN traffic light about?

Is this Brexit, or Island Syndrome, or some fucking thing?

 

I would really like to see an Englishman capable of keeping up with a bloody tanker lorry, for God's sake.

[Eddie Honda]

Is this Brexit, or Island Syndrome, or some fucking thing?

 

It's called Nine-points syndrome. Probably.

 

If all the cameras were turned off then everything could return to normal.

[Junkman]

All this nonsense is leading to you having to allow nine hours for the drive from South Manchester to Dover

if you want to catch your ship. Nine motherfucking hours! From Manchester to Dover!

[BorniteIdentity]

Wow. You stayed in actual Minecraft.  Top effort.  Autistic kids of the world will unite there (once their parents have stopped them dabbing and fidget spinning long enough to get their Skechers on them.)

 

Good work.

[Junkman]

Yeah, but we remained in Survival Mode.

[eddyramrod]

I would really like to see an Englishman capable of keeping up with a bloody tanker lorry, for God's sake.

I don't think I qualify then.  I'm half Irish.

[Junkman]

That's probably why, since the Irish don't dawdle around like old gout rags.

[oldcars]

During our 7 hour trip to Dover because the English are unable to just drive the fuck ON,

we saw this:

 

 

 

 

 

And this:

 

Sure i saw that bus on the way back from Gaydon on Sunday about 6 ish.

[richardthestag]

dawdlers on motorways!

 

The sheer number of truck botherers on the M5/M4 yesterday afternoon was astonishing. And I am not talking about twats who like to drag their shit home in a chemibog in its own fucking white trailer, but normal speedy motors, single occupant arghh

 

In am not really into competing with outside lane tailgating schenanigans but 3 times between Taunton and Brissol I was forced out by a euro trucker pulling out on me with 10metre warning and barely a flash of signal. Hats off to the old white tranny driver (don't google that) who accelerated to close the gap then tailgated aggressively, flashing light the whole shebang - enough to put make a Parisian on the paege blush), I was doing 80 ffs and overtaking a pair of trucks who were overtaking a mongtard in his fucking year old Vauxhall. 

 

the best I had was some dappy old dear in her new Honda joining the M5 north at Gordano ( where the big bridge is that goes over the Avon) 30 fucking mile per hour! I muscled past her as she tried to get into lane #2 still at 30mpg (lane #1 is an exit filter the other side of the bridge) . in my rear view I could see her causing chaos with trucks overtaking on both sides

[wuvvum]

That stretch of the M5 is fucking dreadful most of the time.  I know it quite well as I have family in Portishead, and the lane discipline on that stretch is even worse than the already dismal norm.

[chodweaver]

It was an insatiable desire to see off exactly that section and all its dimwit drivers, after already having been delayed by two hours of diversions off the M5 (closures for works) that resulted in a final pre-mot-expiry fling of XM 'vitesse'... and some weeks later, a four hour stint in a football club's meeting room finding out how little the art of speed awareness training has advanced since I last sat through one. Still, now I know those effing smart motorway gantry cameras are set lower than 81, even when they're not lit up.

 

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[Guest Lord Sward]

I blame Speed Cameras and Hybrids for slowing UK PLC down on the highways.

[SiC]

It was an insatiable desire to see off exactly that section and all its dimwit drivers, after already having been delayed by two hours of diversions off the M5 (closures for works) that resulted in a final pre-mot-expiry fling of XM 'vitesse'... and some weeks later, a four hour stint in a football club's meeting room finding out how little the art of speed awareness training has advanced since I last sat through one. Still, now I know those effing smart motorway gantry cameras are set lower than 81, even when they're not lit up.

 

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I do chuckle when I'm doing 70mph through that bit of motorway going past cars doing 60mph with a range rover or similar up my arse. Pulling over when clear, then sees that car flooring it and thus subsequent flash of the cameras.

 

There is absolutely enormous speed camera warning sides up on those gantries. But people seem to believe them, despite warning it's a smart motorway.

[Ghosty]

I did wonder what the smart motorway gantries were set to, had a suspicion they'd be always on. Fucking hate the things, they're probably set to about 75.