Shitely-does-it summer hols - pre wife, kids and internet

[forddeliveryboy]

Came across a few old pics earlier, some of which reminded me of life when single, carefree and in the days before mini-FDBs entered this world.

One Easter I was leafing through Autotrader, as you did in the pre-internet dark ages when if you wanted to buy something you had to go to a newsagents, buy lots of paper and read right through it. 'Unfinished project based on Citreon CV2, needs mechanical work and dashboard, £695ono' it read. Ominously there was no pic. I'd never liked the look of Lomaxes, but I thought if it was complete and could be had for £500, it could be a giggle.

The sparetimetrader wasn't sure what to make of this odd glass fibre thing, but apart from a steering wheel, clutch friction material and a dashboard, it was complete. I'd recently rechassied a family deuche which probably buoyed my confidence, so having fought off a copper who tried to buy it from under my nose (I'd left a deposit ffs and organised to be back two days later), I dragged the three-wheeled machine back to my parents.

A perfect-looking GS in a local scrapyard provided the clocks, I think B&Q the dash material. A new clutch made it accelerate much better and replacing the horrid little pancake filter with an airbox and trunking from a couple of 305s, the GS's carb elbow and a biscuit tin, its top speed rose from 75 to 95. A Triumph Dolomite supplied the steering wheel, the GS the wheel-hiders. An MoT was won and much merriment was had, at the time I was starting work at 6 in the morning and driving to work through Spring into Summer was bloody marvellous. Apart from the day I managed to trap the rear wheel on the wrong side of a flush kerb stone where the verge was worn down.

The revcounter wasn't very energetic, but a little guide which came with membership of 'Flat Out', the Citroen Specials Club rag explained what resistor to solder in where. Seeing the needle whip round to 8000 at long last was great. Once you'd overcome the fear of using such a low-to-the-ground, uncrashworthy machine at speed, it was enormous fun, smooth-riding and amazingly rapid across country. Acceleration tailed off over 80, but it would easily fly past slower vehicles and was especially quick on country lanes and B-roads. I remember horses peering over hedges with a 'wot the fuck...' look in their eyes, human beens were equally intrigued.

I started using it more and more (managed over 12,000 miles in the year it was mine) since it would average 55mpg driven like a loon and took it on regular weekend trips up the A1 and over the Pennines to the Lakes, where I kept an old wooden boat I'd rebuilt. The decision was made to take a fortnight's summer holiday up there, and to go in the mad three wheeler. I even gave it a wash and surprised myself just how blue it was under the grime.

Would the tent and sleeping gear, sails, outboard motor, cooking gubbins and a few spare clothes fit into its tub? - yes, with a nasty rack attached to the tail and the Seagull's flywheel leaning out over the silencer for less lean through left-handers. I breezed up the A65 on a busy Saturday morning, breaking all mpg records as I sat in a long line of traffic at 55mph. You could just squeeze 3.5 gallons in when filled from empty, the journey was over 100 miles and its tank was still well over half full when I rattled over the cattle grid on the way down to the lake shore, even though I'd ragged it over Kirkstone.



Best bit of all after a day's sailing was to hop into the car once everyone had gone home, fold the aeroscreens (and your neck) to allow it to scrape under the 3x3 barrier out onto the public road (that was very satisfying!) and echo the exhaust off the rock faces round the lake or the stone walls on the empty road over to WIndermere. You always arrived somewhere sooner than you'd expect to, because of the fun of driving and the surprising speed of the wee thing. Fast corners were easy - it was stable and surefooted, slower ones needed a bit of planning to get through them quickly. You'd plant your foot in second before the car leaned - the torque through the sliding driveshaft joints tended to lock them up and do their best to stop it looking daft.

The running gear alone would probably cost more than I paid today, back in the mid 90s it was perfect autoshite - there were some owners who had BRG ones, fitted wire wheels, tan leather bonnet catches and other posh stuff in an attempt to make theirs look half-expensive and English. They probably drive at 62mph. I rarely washed mine, took it out in the snow (I'd fitted a heater to make cold weather bearable) and didn't bother about the bonnet edges doing that horrible thing thin glassfibre tends to do. Blatting along at 85-90mph was massive fun, the brakes would stop it like you'd launched a massive parachute behind you, the engine whined in that addictive boxer-motor way and the exhaust told you just how quickly you were accelerating. Speed is relative, I learned. But cars were a little slower back then.

Today people are spending serious cash on three wheelers, from Blackjacks to Pembletons, even Morgan has entered the marketplace again. I doubt any of them has as much fun and pleasure as I did back in that long hot summer of 1995, for less than £750 otr, including an MoT and tax. An American bought it and paid almost instantly, eventually and after much delay, he had it shipped over in a crate - it was one of those rare cars which was used regularly and used hard, never went wrong and turned a very handy profit, too. Life was sweet.



Near top of Kirkstone Pass, August late evening '95

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

I enjoyed reading that.

[forddeliveryboy]

Thanks MR, it's always good to hear that!

 

A few years later, I saw another 3 wheeled mad machine based on Citroën A series running gear advertised for sale and went to have a look, with little intention of buying - it sounded intriguing. "What does it look like?" I asked, having found out it was a one-off. "Rather strange, best you come and see - I built it in the back garden, I'm no engineer", came this youthful voice, with more than a hint of mischief in it.

 

The chap was well into his 90s and wracked with arthritis, he'd built the car for him and his wife to tour Europe in on his retirement a few decades before, he'd been flying aircraft over the same towns and cities on bombing raids and to have his wife with him and to be able to stop wherever he wished had been a 'luxury beyond all others'. I've never met a finer person, he had a youth and huge sense of fun, countered with a humanity and depth of character which remains fresh in my mind, years later.

 

The frame to support the body was shaped out of driftwood, the skin was cut from an old caravan. Seating was straight out of WW2 planes, the practicalities of the whole design a model in how to do it right (lifting the bonnet gives access to the back of the dash, for eg). Being based around an Ami8, the springs and dampers were heavier duty and there was an anti-roll bar, it went much better than the blue beast ever had. It looked great and had been lovingly and expertly created, so I bought it.

 

Although it went superbly, girlfriends didn't get it and one of my dogs was frightened at first - the other one loved it immediately, both rode with me. But - a different time in my life, it just failed to be used and loved in quite the same way as the blue thing had been, even though it was made from proper materials, better designed and sitting on better running gear. But I've hung on to it, thinking one day there'd be chance to make more use of it. And loving its provenance. We'll see, mini-fdb no.1 is definitely old enough at almost five, to warrant dragging it from its cobwebs at the back of the shed.

 

Here it is in the old fellow's garage, before the superstructure took shape.

 

[andrew e]

I'm bumping this for FDB it's worth a sniff if you missed it.

[mercrocker]

What a great story and pics....Better than a brochure - I want one of these now.

[plasticvandan]

Best story I've read for ages

[Skizzer]

+1: Absolutely love this.

[HillmanImp]

Thats an ace read that.

 

I saw my first Lomax (that I recall) a few years ago in Roundhay.

 

 

Bloke was obviously a 2CV apologist as there were two on his drive plus the Lomax so he definitely had a thang for them.

 

[dollywobbler]

Great stuff. A chap local to me has just bought a Lomax, though a four-wheeler one. They're ugly as sin, but do seem good fun. 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Quality content!!!! Cheers FDB

[Split_Pin]

I enjoyed that a lot, cheers FDB!

[forddeliveryboy]

Ta for the positive comments, I rarely read motoring rags nowadays - usually too much unnecessary power, £££s and bullshit, there's more enjoyable and quality stuff on these beige pages.

I've thought of building a four-wheeled tandem seater Special on an Acadiane chassis, which is unique to the A-series range as it has a longer wheelbase. That way you could have the luxury of a little room to each side and more luggage space, better aerodynamics, better handling, it'd be easier to make it look good, have an even better ride and be quite happy across Europe.

I'd aim for 45mpg @ 90mph and a max speed of 110 with the 40hp of a mildly worked-on 602. Replacing it with a BMW boxer twin would be a cheapish way of seeing 65 or more hp but brute force is rarely as satisfying as good engineering. Same for Megasquirt, add-on turbos and other expensive complications - nowt wrong with a good carburettor. Or two.

[mouseflakes]

Great stuff!

 

I remember horses peeing over hedges with a 'wot the fuck...' look in their eyes

 

That must be something to behold! Not very pleasant when you're in an open-top sports car on the other side of the hedge though.

[Twiggy]

I did enjoy that ! Thank you...

[anonymous user]

I enjoyed the read, do you have any pics of the one off complete?

[forddeliveryboy]

Yep, i'm on hols atm, trying to find where the field ends and a lake starts so the warm beer can cool a bit, but pics are seemingly lost.

 

So will have a dive into the rented shed and try and find it, clear some space enough to recognise it and take a pic. I really must get it on the road sooner rather than later, I think wee lad would go into orbit once on the road.

[Mally]

I've built a couple of these in the distant past. Aluminium body over steel box section.

They are great to drive, can go across fields just like the 2CV.

Took loads of photos of the first build, but lent them to the bloke who bought it," Paul the face painter," worked as a clown at Pontins.

As you can guess the clown never returned them.

[STUNO]

Thankyou for a wonderful story that will continue.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I hate kit cars, I'm not that keen on anything made of plastic, not really a lover of 2CVs either.

But, I bloody love that blue 3 wheeled contraption, maybe it's your evocative description of driving it , or just the feeling of freedom your story imparts.

As others have mentioned , this is better than any article in a magazine that I can think of in recent history and I'm uncharacteristicly excited about seeing pictures of the Old Boy's creation.

 

Please note kit car hatred and plastic dislike is based on past ownership of Spartan,Scimitar and Eclat- not one of them capable of keeping water out or electricity in.

[mrcitroen]

Again, brilliant story. I have always fancied a Citroën 3 wheeler as they would be such a hoot. Don't need to drive fast to have fun either. Sticking a GS engine in will make them even more of a blast.

[carlo]

Always worth reading FDB's posts for their interest, intelligence and beautiful grammar.