My Ashram of Shiteness in Poopna - Now back home - thanks God, no more Chicken Napalm!

[Junkman]

Yes, my friends, for the next two (edit: three) weeks I call Pune in Dia home.
It is a bit like someone had shoved the hell into an oven, so my outside stints are currently not exceeding an hour at a time,
with much reconvalescence enjoyed between each excursion in the perfectly sealed, air conditioned confines of my hotel.
 
However, my correspondence from this high-tech country is ensured, thanks to a perfect infrastructure:
 

 
Taxi rank:
 

 
These are everywhere:
 

 
Phit looking Jeep obviously living a sheltered life, albeit on slicks:
 



 
Lorry with many a tyre, and a dog:
 

 

 
What every young man aspires to:
 

 
 
So far not a single Ambassador, Padmini, or Gazel has been sighted, in fact, there is predominantly nondescript newfangled tosh on the roads.
However, there are vintage looking Royal Oilfields in abundance.
 
I will keep an eye out for more interesting stuff and report back.

[Jim Bell]

Mind you don't bang your head over there. You might end up in a korma.

 

Tenuousjk.

 

How many poos so far?

[Junkman]

Interestingly, the country has the opposite effect on me. My shit is way too solid for comfort.

[Jim Bell]

That's crazy. I know you're Junkman, but are you an actual Superhero?

[Junkman]

Far from it. I'm seriously struggling when exposed to the elements here.

[Jim Bell]

It's pronounced "elephants".

[forddeliveryboy]

Perhaps you could negotiate on this, comfy ride home and it'll run on cocunut oil in those temps, pre-registered for the UK even

https://www.olx.in/item/citroen-car-to-sell-ID13kFhX.html#ac764c2bf8

 

[Junkman]

Neither elephant, nor cow sightage has ensued yet. Even W124s are hitherto completely absent. Instead, new white SUVs with fat tyres and much chrome up front abund. It's a bit like SoCal, just with better roads and more substantial buildings. The country falls so far way short of my prejudices, apart from obviously being inside a volcano.

 

Also, I miss my car. I should have driven here, instead of taking one of those awful flying Routemasters.

[Jim Bell]

Buy Hundustani Ambassador for 60p. Win at driving around.

[forddeliveryboy]

Is this a collection thread?

 

Lots of 309 dizzlers there as well as rot-free SD1s.

[meshking]

Did you fly into pune? I usually do the road trip from Mumbai. Over some scary mountains where trucks drive with no lights at 10mph in the middle lane (mainly Ashok-Leyland).

[forddeliveryboy]

 

Avoid. Not safe, it wouldn't pass the latest EU rules.

[Junkman]

The utterly uninteresting, boring road trip from Bombay to Poona on a newly built and continuously illuminated motorway in a new, air conditioned white SUV on fat tyres with lots of chrome up front was thankfully avoided.

 

So far, there was no SD1 or 309 sightage either, hence I relegate their existence to legendland.

 

On a different note, the beer is good and Indian cooking thankfully has a lot more to offer than this horrible curry with stinking Basmati rice I wouldn't consider to fill a knackered gearbox with.

To the contrary, my fears of being relegated to that terrible toxic waste the Brits are exposed to, when it comes to "Indian" food, have been delightfully dissolved.

Why is it, that the English always get the shaft end of a deal, when it comes to international cuisine?

[Junkman]

And besides all that, the only thing that really goes amiss here, is my haunted Rover.

[vulgalour]

I'm just imagining how nice a coconut oil powered BX would be.  All the benefits of a BX and the lovely aroma of coconut all the time.  I could live with that.

[meshking]

 

 

The utterly uninteresting, boring road trip from Bombay to Poona on a newly built and continuously illuminated motorway in a new, air conditioned white SUV on fat tyres with lots of chrome up front was thankfully avoided.

 

 

Ah, they've clearly improved it since I was there last. The fear of watching a loaded articulated concrete truck careering around a corner downhill will stay with me for sometime.

 

Ive eaten far worse in Europe than in India, I'm a big fan of the place.

[r.welfare]

I'm off to Bangalore in July. When I last went 4 years ago the most shiteworthy sighting was a Mk5 Escort saloon, sadly. Most cars were small Suzukis, small Hyundais or something that I thought was a rebadged Dacia Logan but turns out not to be (Toyota Etios).

[forddeliveryboy]

I'm just imagining how nice a coconut oil powered BX would be.  All the benefits of a BX and the lovely aroma of coconut all the time.  I could live with that.

 

Traditionally, most villages would have various 'veg' oils for sale at the roadside, the most plentiful and cheapest often in huger quantities. I should think this sort of thing is slowly disappearing with the slow but inexorable progress of Western 'culture'. I've love something like a DS Safari dizzle for a mega trip, even a Lucas would survive in those temps. 

[meshking]

Bangalore has some great small scale breweries. It's the birthplace of micro brewing in India. Had some great nights out, still got the number of a friendly auto driver in the area of the intercontinental if you need it

[chaseracer]

How many poos so far?

 

The answer will soon be "just the one..."

 

[Junkman]

Bangalore has some great small scale breweries. It's the birthplace of micro brewing in India. Had some great nights out, still got the number of a friendly auto driver in the area of the intercontinental if you need it

 

Yeah, that micro brewery thing appears to be thriving. I shall be able to provide a detailed insider guide for Pune in a fortnight.

Those "Auto" (that's what they call those black and yellow Piaggio Ape taxis) operators are very knowledgeable when it comes to agreeable dives.

[forddeliveryboy]

Flippineck, it's 4.17 in the morning. Is you jetlacked?

[Junkman]

I practically slept all day, so it's alright.

 

I just checked and that cocoXUDed Shitteren costs GBP 5,600 so I guess it's a no go for me.

The used car prices here should make Sotheby's take notice.

[forddeliveryboy]

Used car prices in UK are mega-low. I kneel at teh altar of throwaway Britain. 

 

Glad it's not the shits, yet. Don't have any ice, obv. At least not beyond your 7.8*star hotel.

[Junkman]

This beauty with fashionably colour keyed windscreen seal can be had for 950 quidderiches:
 
https://www.olx.in/item/fiat-1100-elegant-vintage-ID148G71.html

[chaseracer]

This would be where all the Ambys, Padminis and Contessas have gone...

 

 

 

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/old-vehicle-ban-triggers-scrap-mountain-fear-in-delhi/1/404868.html

[Junkman]

Yeah, talk about illegal fonts on numberplates.

But each two wheeler has one at the front, so this must be enforced somehow.

[Junkman]

Right. Sadly today I had to work until after dark, so no outside shite pappage was forthcoming.

However, to not disappoint you lot completely, I found two Tatas for you:

 

[martc]

 

Why is it, that the English always get the shaft end of a deal, when it comes to international cuisine?

 

Probably because we shafted them for several hundred years (Gandhi's Revenge).

[Junkman]

It was a merely 89 years.

And what did you do to the Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese and Italians?