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V70 tdi. Clocking.

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I had a similar timing belt session a couple of weeks ago.


You'll notice there's quite a lot of rubber not there, it was all inside the timing belt area making everything sticky and causing the belt to jump a tooth. Lots of farting around later and I think I've got it working. They're great engines but a fugging nightmare to work on.



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As I’ve spent all day cleaning it I am going to declare it done. The only fly in that ointment is the oil cooler coolant hose sprung a leak, mainly because it’s 20ish years old. I’ve trimmed the end of the hose and got it onto the stub, so it’s been on jaunts round the estate but I don’t trust it not to give way halfway up kingshill. Just waiting on a hose joiner stub. Small potatoes. Passenger drive shaft sounds dubious, but did before. Needs tracking. Srs light on. But fuck those, really very minor and easily solved details, because there will always be something, a line needs to be drawn.

Check. Out. My .Throbber.



Spent all day cleaning it. Which is not a common occurrence. But it’s been languishing under a tree all summer, and hadn’t been cleaned for a while* previously.

Washed, t cut by hand all over, roof and bonnet twice. Washed, snowfoamed, washed, chamoised, polished. Windows cleaned and rainexed. I can honestly say that I have never done anything like it. Fuck 2 buckets, at one point I had 3 buckets and a hose going. In the rain. Beko would have creamed himself.

but, on reflection 


wurf it.


It’s been stanced yo. New bilstein suspension all round and new brakes with upgrades from a t5. Grey wheels with brand spankers tyres now getting the thumbs up from everyone. Mudguard and sill cover more formally attached with my new, really weren’t lying when they advertised it as heavy duty, pop riveter. Load bay windows tinted, stopped there as it was beginning to look like a hearse.

Check out the beading. Under there is my new* engine, but you know about that. I learned more than a few things putting it there. It fires first turn of the key and sounds keen. I’ve genuinely missed tooling about in this.


The interior has been similarly tittivated, as mine was hanging but donor donkey had a minter. Everything in the boot below the headliner is new. Doesn’t it look lovely. And clean.


In the front, new carpet, mats, seats, seatbelts, door seals, centre console, heater control unit, alpine head unit, gearstick, dab radio, new drivers door guts, aftermarket remote central locking gubbins mounted nicely inside it rather than dangling on wires in a take away plastic tub.


Everything furtled beko style I.e. I’ve even cleaned the backside and bulbs of the interior lights. Oh, lights,


All door lights present and working, as are footwell lights. Front fog lights now have additional sidelights and flash with main beams. Yellow bulbs. Proper sidelights also yellow and dipped beam is osram all season, with are both not yellow enough for my liking and expensive enough to stay. Full beams are still nightbreakers. All the front lights came from donkey.

So there it is, my Purple Throbber. I had to show it to you now really, as it’s never been shinier and likely will never be this shiny again, but I’m proud of it, so thanks for looking.


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Was working down the unit so took an hour after that to do a bit of forensic mechanics on the old/spare/project block. When it originally shit itself there was a “do we just lob on another head and chance it? conversation.





Glad we didn’t do that then, right decision.

All of that in an hour. Engine stands and air tools are F.A.B.

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Time for a wifewagon update. Having had it a month or so there are a few happenings to report. Firstly, and most importantly the wife loves it. This is no mean feat and makes it officially superior to... Saab 9-5, accord tourer, mondeo 3.0, Volvo D5. To name but a few. Plebs. Does mean we’re probably keeping it though. It’s also just been put to work and it’s survived, I’ve barely seen it and driven it less. This is a good thing, happy wife happy life. It drives like a lowered Range Rover imo. I.e. it’s a tank.

So how rusty is our newly acquired, 20 yr old Mercedes ? 



its pretty good. Mostly. There are (a couple?) of bad bits though. 


thats the fuel filler pipe . The other side looks better


but is structural paint with the strength of wet cardboard. I’m going to have to learn to weld. I’m 41, have fucked about with cars and bikes all my adult life, and have managed to avoid learning to use the sparkly stick... which is a bit of a poor show to be honest. this looks to be the perfect opportunity. It is time to Man Level Up, or fry trying.

Tracking was a bit off 


and the front studs had corroded to the wheel so 2 sheered, having to be die ground out. But it then got new front tyres (hideously cheap rapid p609) , new bottom ball joint and something else *. Full service inc gearbox, diff oils and every single filter. Lack of reversing lights turned out to be a faulty power feed to the gearbox neutral switch, so power added from the back of the fag lighter. Additional USB ports were also wired into the rear of the Center console as, shockingly, there was no rear seat fag lighter. Ashtrays yes, lighters no. Mercedes, wot were u finkin. New stereo that will blue tooth the wife’s phone. New aircon gas. New rear window regulator Headlights polished. New mirror lenses.

 The Story, as far as I can make out is that it was a company car then bought by the driver for family duties and kept. Rewarded for service with rust work in 2012. But not worth doing it again. It’s definitely got the air of having not been loved for a while, but with no evidence of active mistreatment. It’s been a tip dog car somewhere posh for my money. There’s nothing other than unrepaired wear and tear there. (Say that quick).

So yes, so far so good with mankymerc ownership.



*as much of the dirty work as possible was fobbed off onto SuperTom as part of a complicated scrap car / labour / painting / storage exchange so I don’t actually know.


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Yes, much frustration. And only one of 3 Bad Things today, so hopefully that’s that, they’re meant to come in 3’s.

Happily SuperTom had some healing words. “Well Dan, if you keep buying old shit you’ll have to keep fixing old shit.” He has a point. 

Anyway, deal with what is. New gaskets please. Game on.

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6 hours ago, Lacquer Peel said:

Good work with this.
The head unit looks good. I did a bad thing with my S70, I took out the factory double DIN radio cassette and fitted a single DIN mechless unit in its place. It looks a bit crap.


I considered a single din with added fag packet slot, but am glad I didn’t go that route. It doesn’t look factory, but looks as if it belongs.

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Yes it is destined for the Throbber. It was too cheap to ignore so i didn’t. A bit of a Fisher Price / Step Of Manhood moment, My First Tuning Turbo. It’s that lovely if I don’t use it on the car it can come into the house and be an ornament.

 I don’t know about remapping, yet. Apparently, so a man in the pub told me, you can get good results (circa 250bhp) with bigger nozzles and a tuning box (which I already have) so we’ll probably start there. The ecu from the engine donor car is allegedly chipped, but no one could answer who by or when, so who knows, but it’s another (untried) option. That’s all for winter though, getting it back on it’s feet has to come first really.

which, all being well might happen next week. (Famous last words!)

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Just now, sutty2006 said:

What’s broke now? Head gasket? 

Yep. The new* engine is pressurising the coolant under boost. To the extent that the car behind had to put on their wipers. 

Sometimes it just be that way. Remember, it’s not really yours until you have touched the pistons.

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Right then, glory awaits. Assume the position.


1 hour in and my brand new, second hand US Pro stubby 17mm spanner is my new favourite thing.



2 hours in and rain has stopped play. Tea and chat.


3 hours in and the brief shower has settled in for a while. Race car paddock aesthetic for the win.


4 hours of lacsidasical spannering finds me finding a rusty head bolt. Hmm. 


and a few moments later I delicately stood on the car and birthed the head. Much better for my back. Don’t think I fucked anything.


And how does it look? Blowy out the end. That’ll do it.




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Cleany cleany with white spirit and a teethbrush 


Cleany cleany with flat block mounted 400 grit wet and dry with wd40 


Can you guess where it was blowing? No wonder the coolant was falling out. 


Checked with a engineers straight edge and all looks good. 😁 

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On 10/8/2019 at 8:21 PM, sutty2006 said:

Get a gasket on it lad and crack on. Top choddage right here. 

I'm on it sir. 

On 10/8/2019 at 8:57 PM, Shirley Knott said:

I'm impressed by your perseverance, lesser mortals (Including me) would have well and truly sacked this off and be sulking in a corner by now.

I. Will. Overcome. It. Is. Inevitable. 

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Shiny block with clean dry stud holes. 


Shiny new not shite gasket. 3 layer steel rather than the brown composite one found in it. 


And 'just popped' the head (and fannymoulds and turbot - it has a bit of weight to it) on. 


Hurrah. Then the difficult bit, attaching the turbo drain pipe. Down the back of the block sandwiched between the starter motor and turbo. Can't see it. It's a sod. 

And 2.5 hours later it started to rain and I took the hint to give up before I lost my patience. I think the drain pipe is bent as its not lining up. There is space for maybe 3 fingers and I need to hold the pipe head very hard in place, the paper gasket, the bolt, find the bolt hole and get it to bite, all uphill. 

You all know the score. Plan a is fresh eyes and fingers another day will sort it out. 😁 

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