A Tale of Two Citroëns...

[rml2345]

We are about four hours from the start of another collection so time for a little bit of background. 
For a couple of months now I had been slowly accepting the fact that Les Tin Des Bisquites was probably a bit too small both in space and performance to be doing the things I kept asking of it. There's no doubt that it would have continued to do so for many years to come but replacement was the long term solution. Due to a one car limit it would have to be something else I really wanted. So when the BX of many Autoshiters was for sale a little while back, I was very tempted. VERY tempted. After agonising a bit, it was decided that another Citroën needing bodywork wasn't for me but it led to a semi regular eBay search for Xantias,
Always wanted a Xantia (you can blame Bburago and the local Citroën place for that) but was really looking for a phase one diesel estate in a darkish colour.
So that's why I bought a 1.8 petrol hatchback. 
In silver.
This one, in fact;

 

 

£200! Short MOT but the test history looked good and it's bonny when seen down a telephone.

Three problems however.
1. It's in Kent, which is nearly France.
2. I already had a Citroën.
3. It's in Kent.
 

Luckily the chap selling telephoned to say that we was going on holibags for two weeks, giving me enough time to prepare for collection.
In Kent. 

Time to find Biscuit Tin a new home which involved an ad here and all over Facebook, some fellow Autoshiters asking around and one man who was dead keen but never actually appeared. With time running out, up stepped Mr. PBK of here who said he was keen on it but distance and bad timing prevented purchase. However Essex is nearly Kent, so we came to an agreement and he offered the Tiny Citroën a new home and a means for me to get closer to the Xantia. In what could only be described as a case of temporary insanity, FATHA_RML has agreed to be co-pilot on the trip.
 

400 miles in here...

 

Mission AXcepted!

 

TL;DR

I'm going to Essex in an AX and returning from Kent in a Xantia. 

 

 

[dollywobbler]

Most unusual Head to Head ever? Should be great!

[hairnet]

nae prablem ken

 

some bangin choons (radio 4) and some earplugs (ax)

 

shouldnt be a prob

 

just stop lots for tay

[320touring]

Cannae be any more mental than a sprinter to Aberdangushaberdashery..

 

looking furrit to updates

 

Ken

[rml2345]

Cannae be any more mental than a sprinter to Aberdangushaberdashery..

 

looking furrit to updates

 

Ken

Sprinter was surprisingly comfortable as long as you kept to about 65mph. Anything more and it got a bit bouncy.

[cort16]

Time to put the glove box back in the boot for extra leg room?

[hairnet]

Cannae be any more mental than a sprinter to Aberdangushaberdashery..

 

looking furrit to updates

 

Ken

cant be even more mental than a sprinter full of house from manc to glasgae and back in less than 7 hours..........

[rml2345]

^ Now that really is mental.

Anyway! We are 25 minutes or so to launch...

[stuboy]

anywhere nice in kent?

[rml2345]

We have achieved Englandland!

Heading for Ashford in Kent, which involves going to Stratford first.

[rml2345]

 

Scotch Corner.

No Scotch. Not a corner.

I AM DISAPPOINT.

[rml2345]

Just left Stamford Morrisons, where the car wash lives in a wee house

 

 

 

 

Traffic is now getting heavier...

Next stop, Southern Moomins services!

[smellypoo]

Now this is DEDICATION! I was procrastinating about doing the weekly shop last night, there's a number of shops within walking distance. Instead I rested my arse on the sofa and fell asleep. You have put me to shame.

[Supernaut]

As if I didn't think this idea was mental enough when you told me last week... you're doing it through the night.

[johngarty]

Keep the updates coming 

[rml2345]

This update is brought to you by the 1980s

 

 

 

The tiny Citroën has been deposited in the care of Mr. PBK who seems delighted with his new toy.

 

 

 

We met at South Mimms at precisley about half past eight and convoyed to the secret Autoshite Essex HQ where some pleasantly green Z3s live. Pleasantries exchanged and paperwork done he very kindly dropped us at Chelmsford railport for phase two of today's adventure.

Smashing to meet you Ken and I hope you enjoy the AX as much as I did.

[cms206]

112%/10

 

I won't ask for a shot of the Xantia because I don't want to ruin the magic of the 406.

[rml2345]

MAOR UPDATEZ!

We are currently sitting on one of those swish looking Southeastern things. They look less swish inside

 

 

 

Anyway! From Stratford we took the DLR to

 

 

Which is all shiny bits and concrete. It feels like a fantastically appointed bus shelter with trains hidden underneath it all.

On our way to Ashfield and rendezvous with the seller. Beyond lies the car of dreams...

 

EXCITING!

[Felly Magic]

Is it a vegetarian?

[rml2345]

Apologies for the plethora of neck straining photos BTW, I'm not sure how you fix it short of doing a reconstruction.

[rml2345]

Is it a vegetarian?

Nope! Runs by igniting dinosaur smoothies.

[johngarty]

While your in Kent you couldn't run over my ex missus as a favour could you? 

[davidfowler2000]

If you're in Essexland you should go to EnsignBus and see what their stock is like. Imagine turning up to a Scotoshite dinner in a bus with an engine bigger than your whole AX. People would think you were an utter mental case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh.

[purplebargeken]

Superb AX delivery only marred slightly by the puzzling presence of 3 BMW Z Thingies, two of which were a slight minty green. Puzzling due to the fact that I own no BMW Z Thingies and all 3 were parked in the space that I jointly rent 

 

Can't rock the boat too much I guess as the space (ha) is useful (obviously). Sorted with no bloodshed.

 

Total pleasure meeting our Scottish cousins, very ace people. The inbuilt Autoshite translation matrix functioned perfectly. 

 

The AX is a sweet little car and has a sufficiently small level of fettling required that should not mess with my back or my bank balance.

 

My first evah Shitroen! Even if it isn't actually shit. At all. 

[purplebargeken]

All photos tend to make me look like a chinese person. I'm not.

 

Fat yes, chinese no.

[rml2345]

Update from still uncomfortably south

 

 

Due to appalling traffic and whatnot we haven't got far from NearlyFrance. Collection was ace though as Philip the seller picked us up in a blue DS.

Comfy.

Bit of a mare finding a garage for furlling though but the compulsory photo was achieved eventually

 

 

So far the only problems are a non operating sunroof and an exhaust blow. No doubt the impending MOT will pick something else up.

For now though, it's pretty ace!

Long way to home, where it's bloody snowing apparently.

 

[cort16]

Level 8 collection skills, makes it look effortless a+ top of th class

[davidfowler2000]

Exceptionally bad traffic. Well you would try to go in the London vicinity (100 miles) on a Friday afternoon wouldn't you?

Also I'm beginning to realise this is the furthest Scotoshite collection of ever. Brighton / Hove / etc is about 20 miles shy. All you have to do now to beat my previous mentalness is attend a car show in Cheshire tomorrow (after going home first of course).

 

I'll need to reclaim my straitejacket now by doing a collection from somewhere like Folkestone, Dungeness or Penzance.

[mouseflakes]

This looks super clean for such a bargain price! Love it.

[rml2345]

Exceptionally bad traffic. Well you would try to go in the London vicinity (100 miles) on a Friday afternoon wouldn't you?

 

Also I'm beginning to realise this is the furthest Scotoshite collection of ever. Brighton / Hove / etc is about 20 miles shy. All you have to do now to beat my previous mentalness is attend a car show in Cheshire tomorrow (after going home first of course).

 

I'll need to reclaim my straitejacket now by doing a collection from somewhere like Folkestone, Dungeness or Penzance.

Or Lesmahagow. Bring back a tin of snoek to prove you've been to 1947.