Sold Going Live! Bike for sale.

[Jim Bell]

Phil: Hello caller, this is Philip Schofield. What would you like to say to the drummer from Bros?

"Er. Where can I buy a shit car?"


Drummer from Bros: "I think the answer is Birmingham".


Phil: correct! Who's on line two?

[Jim Bell]

And so it begins.

[Jim Bell]

It's cold. It's dark and it's early. I've been up since 03:46 with galloping food poisoning.

 

I am not starting this collection in a good mood.

 

Not far to go though.

[gadgetgricey]

Where abouts in Brum?

Just wondered if I might see a petrol collection shot being taken this morning?

[Jim Bell]

Ten mins in. Tyne bridge tailback. I need a poo. I've just had a poo. I need a poo again.

[Jim Bell]

Where abouts in Brum?

Just wondered if I might see a petrol collection shot being taken this morning?

 

I genuinely have no idea. I'm aiming for New Street, then throwing myself on the mercy on the cellar.

[Jim Bell]

Our steed for this morning is the ever reliable 406. I fall into it and point it at town. The heater is warm, the seats are comfortable and it seems to drive itself into the heart of the city. I don't recall having much to do with the journey.

 

The car arrives me safe into the centre of Nyacassel.

[Jim Bell]

Someone has been a naughty sausage.

[Jim Bell]

Some folk definitely have accumulated more money that sense. The price of those three tickets would buy my car and fill the tank.

[Pillock]

Have you had that poo yet?

[Jim Bell]

The lights of the station glow like a dim beacon against the dark winter morning. Double time shuffle, as the trains due.

[Jim Bell]

Have you had that poo yet?

Poo count for the day is currently 3. But I will keep you up to date.

[loserone]

I'll wave as you go past in a few minutes.  Hope your galloping food poisoning isn't as bad as my manflu, cause there's no way I could face hours of driving today.  Good luck!

[Jim Bell]

The station looks exactly like you would expect a station to.

 

Nothing to see here really.

 

Though I do spot a man in a hat.

[Jim Bell]

Train achieved. My pics are going the wrong way.

 

Worst day ever.

[Twiggy]

Good luck - hope you`re feeling better soon.

[Jim Bell]

We have a letter here from. B Shitpeas.

 

He writes :

 

dere fillips. I am go to black cuntry (not indya) for to buy car. I am buy car bcause have two car all ready. Why is dis?"

 

 

Phil: "Well Gordon, it looks like someone has made some poor decisions while intoxicated after and during alcohol consumption. Let's wish him luck and hope for the best. "

 

 

 

Gordon: "sqweep sqweep Sqeeeeep!"

[Jim Bell]

Yorkshire achieved. Flat cap pulled on tighter. Decide to "stretch my legs".

[Jim Bell]

.

[Jim Bell]

The sky above is grey and overhangs like a bleak tin roof.

The sun is struggling through. The day may yet improve.

[Jim Bell]

I know exactly how far from Doncaster I am.

[Jim Bell]

Before I got on the train, I was getting some money out of the cash point. There was an old woman there and she asked me to help check her balance.

 

She fell over when I pushed her.

[Jim Bell]

Phil: "he says he didn't really push an old woman over. He says it was just a joke. After the break, I speak to Boy George about crimping. "

[trigger]

Excellent.

 

[SiC]

Get some imodium!

[Dippy]

Im confused here should we be guessing the new car or how many poos you will have today.

 

Anyway im thinking it will be 7.

[Jim Bell]

Get some imodium!

I'm on three already. I don't know what the symptoms are of overdosing on Imodium, bound to be hillarious though.

[Jim Bell]

Im confused here should we be guessing the new car or how many poos you will have today.

 

Anyway im thinking it will be 7.

 

I will try very hard to live up to your lofty expectations.

[Jim Bell]

Sheffield achieved. Home of Seen Been. An actor most famous for dying near the end of the second act in MOST FILMS. Apart from Ronin and When t'Saturday Comes.

 

See him below, with loads of teeth. Looking like a great white shark that's careful with its money.

[sutty2006]

you wont poo for a week after that.....