FREE BMW Tradition - E46 316i FOR ACTUAL FREE - NOW GONE

[Guest Breadvan72]

There is a slightly non PC joke that has as its punch line "Fuck me! I've won a car".  The joke also features a genie, a lamp, and a Swedish Navy Frigate with an all female crew.

[23rdian]

Congrats LS. At least I was in with a chance there. I think.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

There is a slightly non PC joke that has as its punch line "Fuck me! I've won a car".  The joke also features a genie, a lamp, and a Swedish Navy Frigate with an all female crew.

 

Pray tell!

[trigger]

Oh balls. I was keeping quiet until the raffle started! Never mind, it's probably more use to him anyway.

[Guest Breadvan72]

The World's unluckiest man is mega unlucky.  Every shit thing in the world happens to him.     It seems that things have hit rock bottom when he is on an airliner that crashes over the southern ocean, but maybe his luck has changed, as he is washed up the sole survivor on a desert island.    He still bewails his luck, and kicks a can he sees on the beach.  Out pops a genie, but the genie has a hangover, and says he is too pissed to do wishes, and instead of that the dude will from now on be the luckiest man in the World.  The genie vanishes, and over the horizon comes a Swedish navy frigate, with an all female crew, that is sailing back to Europe but going the long way around.  Back at home several happy months later, the guy buys a lottery ticket, wins 100 million and settles down in his new glammo mansion. There's a knock at the door, and a beautiful young Indian woman is standing there.  She's come to do market research, but all that is forgotten as he sweeps her off her feet and soon they are married.  There's just one thing that's bothering him.  It's that little bhindi mark on her forehead.  One day he can't help himself  - he reaches over and scratches the mark off with his fingernail.  

 

"Fuck me!"  he says, "I've won a car!"

[Lord Sterling]

Cheers guys! Unexpected but nevertheless a excellent generous offer.

 

Now gotta find somewhere for the Rover to go and sort out fetching it.

 

Gerrard - You are a gentleman. Thank you!

[matty879]

They are non vented, so if they will fit, you are welcome to them. I'm located in WR6 5DB. Wife will be happy to get them out of the garage.

 

Sent from my Hudl 2 using Tapatalk

pm sent kind sir

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

Cheers guys! Unexpected but nevertheless a excellent generous offer.

 

Now gotta find somewhere for the Rover to go and sort out fetching it.

 

Gerrard - You are a gentleman. Thank you!

 

 

Not only is he a gentleman, his mother also has an exceedingly wise hat.

[beko1987]

Cheers guys! Unexpected but nevertheless a excellent generous offer.

 

Now gotta find somewhere for the Rover to go and sort out fetching it.

 

Gerrard - You are a gentleman. Thank you!

Train station pickup available. If you give me a day or 2's notice I may be able to blag time off work, but if not then the weekend is free!

 

Local stations R

 

Haddenham and Thame

Princes Risborough

Wycombe

Maidenhead (I wouldn't inflict making you train it from Mhead to Marlow!)

 

Or the Megabus must stop at Oxford or Wycombe somewhere...

[Sloth in a bowl]

LS, if picking up this Saturday then get the train into Brum and I'll run you down the rest of the way.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

LS, if picking up this Saturday then get the train into Brum and I'll run you down the rest of the way.

 

 

This is Autoshite.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Thanks to all who offered to take this heap away,and I am sorry for your dissapointz feels,  but there seems to be a consensus that Lord S is a worthy winner, and I hope that the car doesn't explode on him five minutes down the road.  If it does, that is tough shit, natch, but I hope that it doesn't.  I have only driven the shed once, when I brought it down from my brother's place in Darlington last autumn.  It seemed to go OK, and was surprisingly peppy for a povvo spec Beemer, but get those juddery brakes looked at.  

 

I say povvo spec, but this is probably rep spec,  The seats are utterly ghastly, and appear to have been pissed on by several incontinent Greggs eating twats, but the car has aircon (brokken) and cruise control (working).

[cort16]

Nice one. A good choice of new owner for this fine  free vehicle.

[mrbenn]

The seats are utterly ghastly, and appear to have been pissed on by several incontinent Greggs eating twats....

 

I don't recall ever being in this car....

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

 The seats are utterly ghastly, and appear to have been pissed on by several incontinent Greggs eating twats, but the car has aircon (brokken) and cruise control (working).

 

 

Have you even sat in a silver grey cloth trimmed 116i?  I cannot think of a more depressing interior.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Have you even sat in a silver grey cloth trimmed 116i?  I cannot think of a more depressing interior.

 

 

Anything in black by Vauxhall, soulless would be an improvement in comparison.

My arse is in pain just looking at those seats.

 

[Lord Sterling]

Train station pickup available. If you give me a day or 2's notice I may be able to blag time off work, but if not then the weekend is free!

 

Local stations R

 

Haddenham and Thame

Princes Risborough

Wycombe

Maidenhead (I wouldn't inflict making you train it from Mhead to Marlow!)

 

Or the Megabus must stop at Oxford or Wycombe somewhere...

LS, if picking up this Saturday then get the train into Brum and I'll run you down the rest of the way.

Cheers chaps!

 

I might be heading down with a certain slightly angry Northern journalist and Laguna V6/MGF/Seat Leon owner. Looking to head down around about the 7th Feb onwards if that's Ok with you Gerrard? Lord_Sterling has payment coming by then and hopefully will have dealt with the Sterling one or another by then.

 

...Should we call you Baron Reichsmark now?...

Lol, you could do, or I could be called "Gaz, sales manager and employee of the month"

 

I feel to turn up collecting this with the E46 stereotypical owner/driver starter pack consisting of: white shirt, shades, hands free kit, spikey hair, a chip on the shoulder, an acute superiority complex and wannabe management doublespeak.

 

It does mean I can finally out away the tartan travel rug/walking stick/boiled sweets of the Sterling.

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

No rush, the car has been hanging around awhile.  I kept meaning to bung it on eBay and try to get a grand for it, (ambitious, maybe), but the thought of dealing with Twatz R Us and their even more twatty mates filled me with despair.  

 

If you like, I could book the heap in at the local MoT place before 7 Feb, but it may be best that you just collect it and take it to a pre booked MoT near you, in case it fails on those brakes or whatever, as then you can get it fixed near you.  I wonder if the discs are warped, or just worn.

 

NB : My bro is METAL, so there is a FREE heavy metal demonic symbol sticker in the rear window - guaranteed to ward off (or is it summon up?) all class four Demons, except on Walpurgis Nacht, or summat. 

[Lord Sterling]

...If you like, I could book the heap in at the local MoT place before 7 Feb, but it may be best that you just collect it and take it to a pre booked MoT near you, in case it fails on those brakes or whatever, as then you can get it fixed near you. I wonder if the discs are warped, or just worn.

Sweet. I'm planning on booking in for MOT at Mahmouds who isn't far from me. If the BMW fails, he'll sort out what needs be to pass.

[BavarianRetro]

Honestly, I'd delete the post above. You don't want Mahmoud getting an incognito test because of it.

[beko1987]

But what if it's just an advisory? The zx passed it's 2015 mot with a rear brake imbalance, and the caliper was seized. Still braked enough though.

 

Plus if it does fail, it'll fail near mo, so he won't have to drive back down to bv every weekend to fix it enough to drive back home

[Lord Sterling]

Honestly, I'd delete the post above. You don't want Mahmoud getting an incognito test because of it.

I don't think you understand. He's not the kind of person to pass a car that isn't worth passing. If it doesn't pass he will sort out what needs to pass and test it again. Even the Rover had to have a few things sorting out before an MOT was issued.

 

I may be deprived of the BMW for a few days if the brakes need doing but it's only a train ride away.

 

He and his testers are fair and to the law.

[D Spares & Tyres]

A lot of MoT rules are down to different interpretations anyway

 

A car could fail badly where the tester is being an arse or it could swing the other way and a dangerous car can legitimally pass a test while still being dangerous

[skattrd]

Sorry Mo, but the way it's worded make it sound like he will pass the car whether it should do or not.

[BavarianRetro]

I don't think you understand. He's not the kind of person to pass a car that isn't worth passing. If it doesn't pass he will sort out what needs to pass and test it again. Even the Rover had to have a few things sorting out before an MOT was issued.

 

I may be deprived of the BMW for a few days if the brakes need doing but it's only a train ride away.

 

He and his testers are fair and to the law.

Well, he has nothing to worry about then.

 

I'm sure he'd still rather that customers didn't post messages that could be taken to imply that he'll pass it and worry about you fixing the brakes later. Because that is certainly how I read it.

 

But you'll know better.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I'm sure all his customers and the ministry are all on here as we speak..... ☺

[BavarianRetro]

You can be certain - absolutely certain - that the ministry have been on here.

[Guest Breadvan72]

That's a bit bonkers OMG paranoia tin foilista, IMO.  I do a lot of work for the Department of Transport, and checking up on obscure chit chat websites about rubbish cars is unlikely, I suggest, to be high on the Department's to do list.  

[BavarianRetro]

Fine. Nobody said it was high on their list. I said that you can be sure that someone has been on here and you can.

 

You can believe it or not. I don't care.

 

And while you may do work for the DoT, I've done work for companies trying to keep their MoT licences in the face of DoT investigation.

[Lord Sterling]

That's a bit bonkers OMG paranoia tin foilista, IMO. I do a lot of work for the Department of Transport, and checking up on obscure chit chat websites about rubbish cars is unlikely, I suggest, to be high on the Department's to do list.

I agree with this. But I also take your point Bavariano_lad.

 

Mahmoud has nothing to worry about anyway, his garage is not a backstreet garage but a main, very busy garage on a main drag. I think Mahmoud has far more to worry about people making spurious claims because they didn't get their car on time than what a bunch of people in some chat rooms might say. When I worked there, the amount ar$€hole customers we had to deal with was unbelievable, it'd test the patience of a saint.

 

Just to make things clear, I have reworded it to make clear what I meant rather than any worrying about whether any ministry bods are hanging about on this site.

 

I also think that at least 90% of his customers are probably members of hundreds of other sites/chatrooms where they may be saying things about him or his garage that may be misinterpreted. Plus, I've never exclusively advertised his garage details or it's whereabouts and I'm sure there are a fair few 'Mahmouds' around the West Midlands who are MOT testers.