Is this progress?

[bigstraight6]

My company hack 57 plate Avensizzz went into the local dealer for its 50,000 mile service last saturday morning, and its still in there! I mentioned that it felt a little sluggish, and they said there was a 'recall' that needed doing that should sort it, that being a simple remap of the ECU.Half way through said operation, the computer crashed thus kippering the ECU, so another one was ordered and fitted on tuesday but this didn't work, yet another was ordered and fitted on wednesday to no avail. Apparently even the tecno bods at Toyota GB are baffled, and to cap it all the loan car they've given me is a truly hideous little thing called a Yaris that has a rather agricultural sounding gutless 3 pot engine, what a miserable experience driving this thing is on the distance I do daily

[55bloke]

Is this progress? NO!!! I bloody hate all this ECU stuff- a friend of mine has a Mk 3 Astra, and last month the Engine Management light came on for no obvious reason. How frustrating, to know there's a fault, but not to know what it is!! Got to plug it into an analyser to find out. If the system knows, why can't it just tell you!

[ayd]

If the system knows, why can't it just tell you!

because who would make any money out of that?

[STUNO]

BROTHER YOU ARE SAVING THE WORLD .Going almost as green as a hybrid. Saving fuel,saving everything else you can think of. You hate the Yaris so much you even drive as little as possible. Thank you. Assume the Avensis has had a total computer meltdown, and will be replaced by a YARIS

[dollywobbler]

Ooh, don't get me started on moderns. I quickly go down the Headlamp Bulb route and start ranting about how you never had to remove the front bumper to change a bulb in the good old days!!

[Guest greenvanman]

Is this progress? NO!!! I bloody hate all this ECU stuff- a friend of mine has a Mk 3 Astra, and last month the Engine Management light came on for no obvious reason.

Probably just means there's a fault with the fault reporting system My old 405 had an orange warning light (a picture of an engine with a letter 'K' in the middle) on for the duration of my ownership. If there was anything wrong with the way the car ran I didn't notice it.

[whitevanman]

PROGRESS.......................what does it mean?I'm F**KED if I know anymore as I seem to have to scrap almost all the newer cars I've had as some thing is wrong and it will cost a fortune to find out why as the diagnosis machine cant tell you exactly but gives you clues............ wasn't that once called experiance ?

[M'coli]

You hate the Yaris so much you even drive as little as possible.

Thank you for this. I've to dispose of my mother's Yaris(she passed away recently - please, no sympathy) and sooo many people have asked me "Why don't you have it?"

It's very capable, has all the toys - top of the range inc.air - but it leaves me cold, I couldn't own the fecker....not even the one being sold by the extremelyfit lass at work[sniff]seat[/sniff]...

[Barry Cade]

Keys. thats another one of my pet hates. Well, not keys, but the sudden idea that keys are so old hat and must be replaced by plastic cards,buttons,fobs and whatever else. Without fail, inside these cards and fobs is a failsafe backup in case they go wrong... guess what it is.One day I'll post up the sequence of events you have to go through to MOT test a new Discovery's handbrake... when I have an hour or so to spareDid you know you can only reset the engine management light 50 times on certain Peugeots and Citroens? I've no idea what happens on the 51st go, a bit scared to try it!

[M'coli]

Keys. thats another one of my pet hates. Well, not keys, but the sudden idea that keys are so old hat and must be replaced by plastic cards,buttons,fobs and whatever else. Without fail, inside these cards and fobs is a failsafe backup in case they go wrong... guess what it is.One day I'll post up the sequence of events you have to go through to MOT test a new Discovery's handbrake... when I have an hour or so to spareDid you know you can only reset the engine management light 50 times on certain Peugeots and Citroens? I've no idea what happens on the 51st go, a bit scared to try it!

#You sell it on eBay really cheaply to someone handy with a soldering iron, a circuit diagram and a Megasquirt'n'spark kit!!!

[MrDuke]

The Yaris is future shite, fo' sho'. The most utterly gutless car I have ever driven - I mean, look at the size of it, you would've expected some degree of 'fun' from driving it, no? No.And don't get me started on ECUs - the only italian car I owned cost £80 to plug into a computer. Which told me the cam was fubared beyond cost-effective repair. Thanks, think I'll stick with socket sets and multi-testers from now on.O HAI by the way. I've been lurking for at least a year now, but they've only just let me in I'm an ex-Datsun Stanza owner, if that earns me extra Shite points?

[AXrescuer]

Is this progress? NO!!! I bloody hate all this ECU stuff- a friend of mine has a Mk 3 Astra, and last month the Engine Management light came on for no obvious reason. How frustrating, to know there's a fault, but not to know what it is!! Got to plug it into an analyser to find out. If the system knows, why can't it just tell you!

Tell him to look up the 'paper clip' method of fault identification! Works for me.http://www.topbuzz.co.uk/info/fault_cod ... _codes.zip

[TheScrapman]

If the system knows, why can't it just tell you!

Some of them do. A chap at work has a 52 plate Alfa something or other. It regularly flashes error messages up on the dash such as "gearbox failure", "ABS Failure" and random door/bonnet/boot open messages. Although he can't always get reverse, it does seem to get him into work every day.I think I'll stick to my shite!Actually, the Benz does have an ecu, but you press a button under the bonnet and an LED flashes the faults codes out to you which are available on the tinterweb. Best diagnostic tool I've ever had!

[Ratdat]

I've no problem with ECU for engine or transmission control but body management computers seem like a pointless waste of time to me. They add unnecesary complication. I'd rather deal with electronic fuel injection than carbs any day but I do despair of system without some form of open self diagnosis.

[chaseracer]

Keys. thats another one of my pet hates. Well, not keys, but the sudden idea that keys are so old hat and must be replaced by plastic cards,buttons,fobs and whatever else. Without fail, inside these cards and fobs is a failsafe backup in case they go wrong... guess what it is.

Not if you have a keyless-entry M*cr* such as SWMBO's. No keys, no keyholes.

 

Guess how I know this can be a problem...

[Mr Lobster]

It does seem like the technology is getting excessive sometimes.Fuel injection is good, ABS is good from a safety point of view I will admit. But do we really need Electronic Brake Distribution, Traction control that can't be turned off, Electric Power Steering, ESP and all other manner of driver aids.As well as the vast potential to go wrong, they make the driver less aware of what they are doing and the consequences of their driving which cannot be a good thing.

[Guest]

I'm an ex-Datsun Stanza owner, if that earns me extra Shite points?

And I can confirm its shiteyness as it's mine now, it looks quite shitey at the moment with no grille and red primer all over the place! Getting there though.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The new Fiesta has a 'stall prevention' system. Just buy an automatic.

[pompei]

My Lexarse has a Snow button. Still couldn't get up a slight hill yesterday.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

you pressed it and got loads of snow though didnt you.

[Richard]

My work Transit claims to have traction control, in fact it goes as far as calling it ESP. In reality what happens is an orange light comes on when the wheels spin. Sometimes it will back the throttle off but that's all it will do. My favourite random fault was on the C5. Within a few hundred yards I'd get a warning beep, the suspension light would go out and that would be the end of any height correction. As soon as you turned the ignition off it would go to the correct level. At around the same time I noticed the middle brake light was never going out, even with the ignition off.I spent a whole Saturday taking the interior apart to try and find an ECU, I had a feeling there was an earthing problem. Eventually I discovered there was a bad earth in both brake lights. A couple of squirts of WD40 later and all the gremlins were gone.

[Pillock]

Keyless entry - rubbish. My ma's 53 Megane had it, not the fancy one like the Laguna where you just need the card in your pocket, but the one where you press a button on the card. You get two with the car, the first one broke after 4 months, the second one before the year was up and then it was a new one every 6 months. Luckily they were under warranty as they were a good few quid, plus dealer time to program the ECU for the new key.ECUs in general - shatpank. My old Vectra was great at illuminating the light, which didn't stop it driving well but did reduce the economy to about 0.005mpg. The fix? Turn the ignition on and off 20 times within 30 seconds. Sorted it for a few hundred miles.

[Richard]

The switches pop off the PCB on the Renault key cards. You need a pretty steady hand to resolder them.