Bentley Turbo R total shite! Now, Brooklands 'R' turbo shite....

[xtriple]

I shall try and get one for you... expect delivery of said photo about 2021 as I am fucking useless!

 

I have had a reply from Paul at SC and it is looking more and more likely that something is amiss with my starter/solenoid/relay/ecu/wiring loom/key/immobiliser/or the colour of the car is so offensive to itself that it is protesting its own existence.

 

Oh hum...

 

He asked me if I can hear  anything clicking when we have our non-start adventures... usually the first thing you listen for and of course, I have not! No fucking idea, so now I have to wait until it does it again which could be today or three weeks time.

 

I shall go and look at said stereo now, hold on......... TDM 7580E is the model number. It is all complete along with little loom, cage etc and was from Alpine recon themselves. It should be good....

[Bobthebeard]

"He asked me if I can hear anything clicking when we have our non-start adventures... usually the first thing you listen for and of course, I have not! No fucking idea, so now I have to wait until it does it again which could be today or three weeks time."

 

You can't apparently hear the engine running from inside a Bentley...

Clicking? No chance?

[anonymous user]

Did you tell him no, you couldn't hear any clicks as the clock was ticking too loud

 

 

At 140mph the loudest noise in a Bentley Turbo is the screaming of the passengers

[xtriple]

Thought I'd update this a bit.

 

Hello Peeps, just saying 'Hello' so you don't forget me....

Oh, and another 'boring' update of the fun and games that is daily life with a Bentley. Having got into a bit of a strop with her for getting dented (not her fault, but hey, got to blame someone!) and using the Mazda in preference, it was lovely to use her again. Just driving this glorious old dollop is enough to ease the pain and misery that my poor wallet has to stand.
So, I was also in a mood because the stereo had broken again and had returned to the specialist repairer for warranty work.
It came back, it worked.... for about 18 seconds then died completely. I was well chuffed I can assure you.
So having spent a fruitless afternoon ringing everyone to try and get another TDA7537R and being offered some right 'chod' in its place for exorbitant amounts of cash (one that had no fascia, no idea of model or if it worked could be mine for the derisory sum of £70 plus VAT plus Postage) I decided to have a look myself.
Now, I know slightly less about electronics than the dog but between us, we sniffed the problem out straight away. A really small connector with eight soldered joints top and bottom, was loose. Stripping out all the cassette mechanism and all the other bits was a chore as I couldn't see properly with or without my glasses. But, with the aid of a friend who repairs computers for a living, the item was re-attached. I put it all back together and guess what?

It worked perfectly and so far, has continued to do so!

Today, the old girl has had her new seat ECU fitted (£411) and it was fun watching the seat dance around finding its 'zero stops' in fact, it took so long about it, I went and paid and it was still going when I got back! The poor dogs who had sat peacefully in the back for most of the time, were not amused at all by the front seat encroaching on their space.

Great so all working again.

But, while I was there, I was looking around the cars in for repair and a couple for sale. Now, I urge all you gentlemen and ladies of discernment to get yourselves to Specialist Cars of Exeter in short order!

They have for sale one of the last SZ cars ever made, a Brooklands R Mulliner with every option box ticked! It is truly bloody gorgeous and made mine feel very ordinary by comparison. I thought my car was a late one but this is a couple of hundred chassis numbers newer and on an 'S' registration. 22500 miles from new, and like I said, utterly mint, prestine and beautiful. I am sick with envy....

 

 

 

They were also changing the starter motor on a newish Audi/Bentley, that looked like a fun and cheap job....

 

 

 

 

And a gratuitous picture of my engine cover... just because!

 

[bub2006]

Engine out for starter motor??

[xtriple]

Yep! And even with the engine out, they (or me) could not see the starter itself, they were just removing the right bank turbo when I left. Craig is a lovely bloke and never gets flustered (so it appears) and swapped from doing that to taking my drivers seat apart without a second thought. Fixed my car without leaving a mark and went straight back to struggling with that thing... apparently, every nut and bolt on the bastard is rusted in and has been a right pig all the way along.

 

It cheers me that they are not impressed with the new Audi/Bentleys! I know that's churlish, but I hate VAG and wish them no good things ever!

 

Craig also drives (and loves) a Vectra so would fit right in here!

[djimbob]

I can sympathise with you over bodyshops.

 

Times have now changed - more money in lots of smart repairs with a quick turnaround than having a single car taking up the shop for a week.

 

I have learned my lesson - I will walk away from anything in future that needs lots of paintwork.

 

I'm coming to that conclusion too, so many cheap, mint bodywork cars out there, although I'm a sucker for a beat up a old shitter just to save the bugger from the mincer, but it's really hard to shift them on for anything like a profit

[Guest Hooli]

Now this is a proper old shed to ruin your wallet with, glad I found the thread to enjoy.

[Sealtainn]

I am down in Exeter in a couple of weeks visiting the folks so may have to take a trip along to Specialist Cars

[Christine]

I am down in Exeter in a couple of weeks visiting the folks so may have to take a trip along to Specialist Cars

you wont get one for 60 quid hoover money !

[3VOM]

Engine out for starter motor??

There is supposed to be a Bentley variant (Continental?) where officially it is engine out for headlight bulb.

[richardmorris]

Whatever happened to thoughtful and intelligent design? ( not intelligent design claptrap, intelligent design , but proper user-friendly design, if you see what I mean).

[rrsix]

Whatever happened to thoughtful and intelligent design? ( not intelligent design claptrap, intelligent design , but proper user-friendly design, if you see what I mean).

 

Greed.

[hauserplenty]

No money in it.

Users fix it themselves...

 

http://www.6speedonline.com/forums/bentley/306579-anyone-ever-change-bulb-seems-impossible-reach-headlamp-2.html

 

*sigh* I see what you mean... "The New Normal" can GRTF.

[barmatt]

 

 

 

 

 

How big is that engine 

 

There may be a little forced perspective going on there but it looks like he'd be able to fit his head down the cylinders.

[Guest Lord Sward]

I really, really want a SZ.

[xtriple]

Whatever happened to thoughtful and intelligent design? ( not intelligent design claptrap, intelligent design , but proper user-friendly design, if you see what I mean).

Audi/VAG.

[Guest Lord Sward]

This is the result of virtually outlawing hands-on engineers with those who've got a doctorate in Engineering, but no real greasy hands-on enthusiasm or metal bashing skills.

[xtriple]

To be honest that engine looks an abortion! It truly is as massive as it looks in the picture no perspective shenanigans at all. I guess the bottom has the front diff etc in it as the drive shafts bolt on there.  I've never driven one so I suppose I should shut the fuck up as they may be bloody awesome but I just don't like 'our' heritage going abroad.... my thoughts on JLR are unprintable even though my son works there!

[gordonbennet]

Any car designed so the engine has to come out and then, FFS, be dismantled further to replace something like a starter motor should never have seen the light of day...didn't the first A class Merc pile of dung have a similar ticking time bomb.

 

Fuckin Stupid Syndrome, and i don't care how many fancy letters the design team have after their names they lack any semblance of common bloody sense, whoever was responsible and signed it off should be sacked...imagine the discussion in Toyota Japan headquarters if their flagship models, any of their models, were to have this problem, ceremonial knives/swords would be on the desk.

[SiC]

Its often not the engineering departments fault, more the flower arrangers designers

 

Same thing happens at a popular vacuum cleaner manufacturer - they give the impression of engineering taking control, when in reality the design takes precedence.

[xtriple]

So as I have not spent enough money on this car today I have just ordered 8 BKR5EVX sparklers from eBay for a bargain £43 as opposed to the £17 each that Flying spares etc want. That's a tiny saving... which I promptly spent on a pair of pollen filters and two new air filters. The pollen filters were only £4 each/// that must be the cheapest thing available anywhere for a Bentley! The bill was still £90 odd.

 

No idea when these were last changed and I reckon given a few days I can do this myself.

 

Expect to see this on eBay as 'spares or repairs' shortly....

[xtriple]

It was sunny this morning but I felt like death. However, the car needed washing. It became a fight between my body health (if I go outside and wash that big bastard I'll be in fucking agony all night) and my mental health (the car needs washing, I should have done it earlier when I had the chance. The car is filthy. The car needs washing I wish I wasn't so lazy....) mental health won. I had barely finished before it had started raining....

 

I am now in agony and the car is wet and probably needs washing again....

 

Also, having spent a shiters car budget on the bastard yesterday, it had an alarm malfunction session today where, once again it would not fucking start! This time it was definitely Chesters fault 'cos as I unlocked the car to get in, Chester locked the back door with his fat paw and eagerness to give me a sloppy kiss. The alarm really does not like being confused in the slightest and goes into 'system check' mode and it will not allow the starter to turn. I would rip the sod out but of course, it's all hidden behind the dash, is integrated into 74 other systems and needs an auto electrician with an IQ in the high 200s to remove.

[320touring]

Do you run a chinese restaurant in Leeds, perchance?

[oldcars]

Good parking space, not far to wok........................

[cort16]

^YES!

[cort16]

Funnily enough my boss just sent me an email title "what to do you think of this bad boy?"

It's obviously a terrible idea so I'm fully encouraging him so I can get a shot in it.

 

 

[Urko]

I'm coming to that conclusion too, so many cheap, mint bodywork cars out there, although I'm a sucker for a beat up a old shitter just to save the bugger from the mincer, but it's really hard to shift them on for anything like a profit

Given the amount of dents dings and scrapes added to my cars by various scrotes, I am pleased to have the Puma which already has a fair collection, and which I don't mind (within reason) it getting a few more.  If I ever get the ZT-T going again I know I am going to worry every time I leave it anywhere.

[Urko]

This is the result of virtually outlawing hands-on engineers with those who've got a doctorate in Engineering, but no real greasy hands-on enthusiasm or metal bashing skills.

You should hear my mate - who has a 1st Class honours in Mech Eng - about "management".

[xtriple]

Seeing as someone has dragged this thread from the depths where it languished, time for an update....

 

I changed the plugs. All on my own. It only took about an hour to do 6.... the second to last one was a right little piggy as it is hidden behind wires and pipes and all sorts, but the last one, oh my dear GOD! I spent about ten minutes working out how to get to it. In the end I used two u/j s a short extension and a long extension and a couple of wobble drives. There is just no room to see it let alone do it! Getting it out was one thing but getting the new one in was... problematic! At one point I had visions of it being trailered to Exeter to have one plug fitted!

 

I did get it in the end but it was a right bastard and took all the skin off my right hand/wrist/forearm. Changing the filters was the work of a moment and quite impressive the way it was designed to all fit together. The old filters looked 'nasty'.

 

So off it went to have paintwork and the Mazda was pressed into full time service. I popped down a couple of times to see how he was getting on and left, each time feeling 'uneasy'. I don't know why, the guy just seems a right moody bugger and as he has muscles on his spit, best not to fall out with him! Turns out he works out every morning from 5:00 A.M.to 7:00 with his wife then goes to work. And the word is 'he uses steroids' so possible explanation for moodiness? Picked her up a fortnight later and he had/has done a cracking job. Done the bonnet, wing, tops of the doors (alloy corrosion)  dent, front bumper and then thought 'sod it' and did most of the rest of the car! Only panel still untouched is the bootlid!

 

 

 

 

It looks great. However, when he parked it up on the kerb, he got masses of wheelspin on the drivers side rear wheel, seems the speedos don't like that (wheelspin in reverse) and the damn thing didn't work! After much musing on how much this was going to cost me, I saw that the needle had jumped over the stop and was now sitting the wrong side, nothing else for it....

 

 

yep, dash out job. Really straight forward and logical once you get into it but so many bits you have to take off first, and you try to remove one bit and then discover something else needs to come out... getting it back in (after stripping the speedo head and lifting the needle over the stop) was just as easy but you got to remember the sequence. So annoying when you have to take off three things you have just replaced to get that one bit of trim back in!

 

So, all good.

 

Not  quite.... found some runs. John was not a happy camper when I told him and I thought, he was not going to do them. He got a bit 'stroppy' but, he rang me a few days later and apologised, took the car in and sorted them out perfectly. He is such a strange chap; really good at what he does, but so 'up and down' and customer service is not a strong point. Oh well....

 

So, going well and looking a million dollars. Strange how much the bubbles on the tops of the doors had been annoying me and I had been in denial about them, now they are done, I feel MUCH happier about it all. The bonnet being done cost a fortune, but again, it had a couple of bubbles (aluminium again!) and some surface imperfections from previous paintwork, and as it's such a huge thing and all you can see when driving, it irritated me, so, glad it's done.

 

Then, while the stereo was still working well after my home repair (with help from Nick) the new old stock one from America arrived. I am so good at fitting stereos in Bentleys now I can do it in five minutes... this one took about ten as there were a couple of tiny differences at the back (little brackets to hold screws in were missing - never fitted - on the new one) but in and it all works perfectly! This one even lights up, the colour of which you can change, and even the radio picks up UK stations so I am impressed. Wasn't even expensive when you include shipping and customs fees. Only difference is: this one is branded 'Alpine' whereas RR had that deleted. The old one is now safely stored away in the box with all the little bits and pieces.... just in case!

 

So, again, buoyed by success I did what I do best: threw some more money at the old bastard! ordered a new (secondhand - new is £380!) electric aerial  and a load of relays from Westminster salvage. Bentleys breakers to the cognoscenti! They are usually red hot at getting stuff out but this time, it's taken them over a week, finally arrived today. Oh, and I bought a private plate!

 

I know 'vanity plates' are a bit contentious on here (rightly so!) but, for some reason, I don't like the registration on my car! I know that sounds stupid (and is) but, there's something about it that I just don't like. It looks 'wrong' to me, can't put my finger on it, but it's going and in its place will be: R1 DTX (my initials and X for my one line persona!   ) as soon as Jack Barclays get their fingers out and send me the plates (special size of course that no one does exet them... but, the car came from JB so it's nice to have the name on the bottom of the plates!   ).

 

Only thing currently wrong with her is: I just noticed that the drivers side rear window is graunching when moved from fully open. I suspect that some shit got in there hen the door was being worked on (I noticed a funny noise a few times when closing the window but thought it was Chester complaining at having 'his' window closed) but today I closed it while the car was stationary and it is definitely the window. Oh well, time to strip down the rear door I guess.....