Oh Noes! Not another thread about a shonky Lancia? NOW with fixulated steering N stuff.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Mahbe. The Lampredi was in various hotbox Fiats, but maybe not the X1/9.  I iz make wrong assumption mayhap.   Because is know Jack.

[Asimo]

Twin camminess of the Fiat / Lancia / Lampredi sort all started with the Fiat 125 did it not? around 1968?

It seemed like magic at the time, that engine, much talked about.

[Guest Breadvan72]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_Twin_Cam_engine

[Guest Breadvan72]

There's a pigeon lives locally to me that eats a bit heavily and fancies itself as a bit of a car critic.    It went out for a big lunch and then did one of its reviews of the Betakoop.  I mean, all over it.  Off down to the local jet wash for me.

 

Before careful jet washing:  car looked incredibly shit

 

After careful jet washing:  Car looks incredibly shit.

 

 

 

 

 

[Junkman]

C&SC did a feature a couple of years back on all the Beta variants (featuring Betaboy 2.0's burgundy s1 saloon ...

 

This one?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1973-Lancia-Beta-Series-1-1600-Saloon-/291144730076

 

Caution: asking price may be detrimental to your health.

 

After careful jet washing: Car looks incredibly shit.

 

It looks like it would respond extremely well to a buffing machine.

[HillmanImp]

Having seen this car in the flesh, I don't think it looks as shit as you are making out. However, I did own my Fulvia at the time so I was maybe comparing it on an unfair standard like celsius on a farenheit scale.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Buffing machine?  I doubt there'd be any paint left after that.    Buffy the Lancia slayer.   As it is the jet wash almost blew the blahddy doors off. 

[fiatdaft]

Your beta is coupe slightly less rusty than my last one,

 

 

 

 

Had dozens of fiat twin cam engined  fiats and lancias,this was my last 1300

 

 

 

The little 1300 was certainly the smoothest,but the performance of the bigger ones would be nice,no relation to the sohc engine .

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Looks great this Beta. I am hoping to inspect it on Saturday!

[Skizzer]

This one?

  

 

The very same. It's been for sale for quite a while. Anyone who was at Shitefest 1 probably still has dreams about the orange vinyl seats. I'd be quite tempted but it's about 2 grand over max budget and also is probably too precious a car for a muppet like me.

 

Buffy the Lancia slayer.

LOLZ.

 

I had a horrible feeling when I turned the page that FiatDaft's picture was your car after you pointed a jetwash at it.

[Guest Breadvan72]

New tyres not here till Monday so will risk the Wales mission on Firestones of dooooooom.   

 

Love that saloon.  It's gone up a lot since last on sale.

[Junkman]

The very same. It's been for sale for quite a while.

I have a vague suspicion that I might know the reason for that.

[Junkman]

New tyres not here till Monday so will risk the Wales mission on Firestones of dooooooom.  

 

Cymrushire is the ideal terrain for old brittle mushrooms between you and the road.

[Guest Breadvan72]

When I drove an old Lotus Excel to Italy it was on ancient tyres that had been OK due to garaging when I left Blightyland, but in the hot sun of the Mezzo Giorno they became so hard that they might as well have been solid wood, and I had to send to MyTyres for replacements.  I suppose that in west Wales I can just carve slabs from some sacred Druidic oak, the internet and commerce and stuff not being invented there, I assume.

[Guest Breadvan72]

That could be a dodgy window regulator. My 924 used to do the same thing when you tried to close the window. It would chatter and splutter at the top of it's travel and would just wouldn't stay closed. It turned out a couple of teeth were missing from the mechanism. A good second hand part sorted it out and wasn't that hard to fit. Finding one for a Beta Coupe could be a ballache though.

 

 

The same thing happened when I had a Beta Spyder, and finding a new plastic cog turned out to be a right old carry on.  So, to Wales with the windah down.  Oh well, the radio is utterly cack anyway.  The tape deck doesn't work.    I shall just listen to the bits falling off.

[Noel Tidybeard]

has it got a federal spec zorst to protect rear bumper damage when reversing near a wall?

[Pete-M]

I've now seen and sat in this very Beta.

 

For those who remember 1980s car auctions when the absolute last snotter of the day crawled through in a haze of burning 10-40, burbling away happily and appearing to vaguely work but with body filler that could be seen from the outer reaches of one of the less fashionable parts of the galaxy by the naked eye of Stevie Wonder - who'd knock back the paint finish. The drivers door skin is not dissimilar to a Braille relief map of the Turin underground network.

 

Did you ever try to spray a toy car with an aerosol? Remember how the paint looked like crazy paving? This Lancia possibly lies awake at night, quietly rusting, leaking Tesco Value multigrade at the thought of its paintwork reaching those dizzy heights of finish.

 

 

I'd have lobbed a bid at this if it had crawled through Tuebrook auctions in 1989.

 

Kudos to Signor BV for actually turning up in it. It won my AS award for the day.

 

The 504 estate runs it close though.

[Parky]

Just caught up on this thread and I think the car is just beautiful. Even the interior but I was always a 70's perv

 

It should have a Roxy Music tape on permanently. Otherwise a light de rusting, a polish and a service and you have something very smart and swish, of which I am very jealous!

 

I will just leave this here though...........

[dollywobbler]

I went for a drive in it and enjoyed a full circle as the steering locked. Utterly shite but loveable.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I've now seen and sat in this very Beta.

 

For those who remember 1980s car auctions when the absolute last snotter of the day crawled through in a haze of burning 10-40, burbling away happily and appearing to vaguely work but with body filler that could be seen from the outer reaches of one of the less fashionable parts of the galaxy by the naked eye of Stevie Wonder - who'd knock back the paint finish. The drivers door skin is not dissimilar to a Braille relief map of the Turin underground network.

 

Did you ever try to spray a toy car with an aerosol? Remember how the paint looked like crazy paving? This Lancia possibly lies awake at night, quietly rusting, leaking Tesco Value multigrade at the thought of its paintwork reaching those dizzy heights of finish.

 

 

I'd have lobbed a bid at this if it had crawled through Tuebrook auctions in 1989.

 

Kudos to Signor BV for actually turning up in it. It won my AS award for the day.

 

The 504 estate runs it close though.

 

 

  This, for me, is the finest piece of writing ever seen on Autoshite, and it is true in every particular.  I have now had this post tatooed on my chappy.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Pirellis, no calendar.   Cinturato P4s, you losers, read it and weep.  Shoulda kept the Firestones of baldness so that we could light them on fire at the next Shitefest, but they have gone off in the tyre dude's van.  

 

The death rattle is not coming from the hubcaps themselves, it's from the hubcap holders underneath, two of which were loose and one of which just won't tighten up.  Am resorting to Plan HITTAGE WITH HAMMA later on.  With tyres off, had a good look at the suspension and brakes - all pretty OK as far as I can tell.  Sprayed some molten badger jizz around just to be safe, like.

 

Rate of oil chuckage varies according to how busy the cams get.  Sometimes the car produces a better smoke screen than a WW1 Destroyer flotilla sneaking up on some Battlecruisers.   Sometimes it just drips a little. 

 

Off for a gentle test drive on new tyres, with not much flingage to respect the broken steering rack bearing, once I have done some work and paid some bills online.  Also phoataz featuring hot rubber action, laters. 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yo bready, any sign of this clutch bearing yet?

[dollywobbler]

It was quite a moment when you first arrived at Shifefest. The 'hoorays' and cheers died off when smoke alarmingly began to drift out of the grille...

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yo bready, any sign of this clutch bearing yet?

 

Now in the post from the land of Teutonic gloom, according to some dude from Berlin who sends me emails from time to time. I will email you some photos later taken from the big fat enormo official Beta Shop Manual that has recently arrived from the US.  

 

Hope you are OK, Sir Bolleaux, as I heard that you were taken poorly at the weekend.   Perhaps crawling around underneath some shitbag Lancia and shouting "putana!"  a lot will be the ideal cure.  Perhaps, er, not.  

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yeah no problem, I'm much better thanks, got some funny little yellow sweets which seem to be doing the biz!! I'm looking forward to seeing this expanding fleet of Betas/Beaters!

[Guest Breadvan72]

Coolio! Sorry you never got to see the Spyder 2000, but you can see photogs of it in a rather optimistic for sale advert on Carandclassic and eBay.  I gave it to the taxman. Some bloke bought it at auction, and three days later put it on at 5K claiming it to be perfect.  Unless he is a quick fixxy up stuff worker, it ain't perfect!  Now reduced to 4.5K.   Probably worth 4 ish.

[Guest Breadvan72]

PS - STRICKLY SPEAKAGING, the 1300 is a Lancia 1300 Coupe and not a Lancia Beta. The HPE is a Lancia HPE, and also not a Beta.  In other words, they are both Betas.  Italians, eh?    

[hauserplenty]

...You talkin' to ME??

 

"Why don't you just hop in your IROC Z-28 and..."

 

I'm all about Cadillacs, but that's for another thread. My hair's too long for a vicar too...

 

The most recent Alfa I've seen here was a '95. They're even rarer than Peugeots 'round this way.

[Guest Breadvan72]

WARNING:  these photographs contain Weapons Grade Wob imagery.

 

New tyres of WIN!  Even with steering still busted, the car's handling is transformated.  

 

Also done loadsa Ford Midnight Blue Rattlecan Joy, and even a bit of polishin' on the turrd.

 

Results:  ShiNAYYY

[Guest Breadvan72]

WOB