Autoshite Quote of the Year

[eddyramrod]

OK, I'm busking this... I haven't given any thought at all as to how it might work, but I do believe we've had a damned strong contender today from our new friend Mr Harrell.

 

Metros are excellent long-distance tow vehicles

 

That's what he said, you can go and look it up.

 

Now I know sometimes one or other of us will type something that tickles someone else's fancy; we often see quotes used as signature lines. So how about between now and, say, Christmas Eve, we use this thread as a dump box for any such lines, and over the ensuing week someone judges them and awards a prize, if only virtual? I would suggest Management take the responsibility for this, even though we rarely see them. Or perhaps we could have a vote? Opinions please... (and any further contenders)

[RedSparrow]

I nominate:

 

dump box

[eddyramrod]

(I don't think we have an emoticon for "taking a bow" yet).

[quicksilver]

may I be the first to suggest 'hammer a smaller moccasin over it'

[eddyramrod]

Making up rules as we go... I think you should be able to attribute it. If you can find where the phrase was first used, then feel free to offer it.

 

I'm going to get landed with the judging, aren't I? I can feel it....

[Lankytim]

This is going to be a real challenge. The ebay tat thread is full of amazing quotes from feckless ebayers!

[eddyramrod]

I think it'll have to be something one of us actually said. I don't think we can import quotes; I wouldn't want to see the valuable* trophy going to some ebay mong who can't even spell BMW.

 

Edit: I've created a monster, already!

[gricer]

Ah, I can see an annual Autoshite Awards developing here.

 

The Shiteys.

 

Categories for Epic Recovery of the Year, EBay Mong of the year, Shitest spot of the year etc.

 

Held on Park Lane, In the underground car park.

 

Black tie and rally jacket.

 

RSVP

[Garbage]

As a recent convert to this forum, may I be so bold as to suggest that the 12 best quotes are added to the Autoshite calendar (there is one, isn't there??). You often get these on calendars dished out every year at the bottom of the page. Just a thought.

[lancashireclamper]

Cavette always makes me chuckle with his 'ebay tat descriptions' but for some reason this one (from page 1321) think had me rofling for ages;

You'd think from his smart arsed comments about the Princess and Marina he was some sort of posh car expert, but in actual fact he comes across as a two bob gobshite who probably has an elderly Transit recovery truck running on cherry and with no MOT

 

(Resorted to calling someone at work a two bob gobshite today, felt wonderful, keep up the good work plz)

[eddyramrod]

As a recent convert to this forum, may I be so bold as to suggest that the 12 best quotes are added to the Autoshite calendar (there is one, isn't there??). You often get these on calendars dished out every year at the bottom of the page. Just a thought.

I call that a good idea! (As Joe the Pharoah said...)

IMCDB is being a really good friend tonight!

[Cavcraft]

Have seriously considered doing an eBay tat calendar for next year.

[e287yba]

I'm going to get landed with the judging, aren't I? I can feel it....

 

Well volunteered, Sir!

 

[Life of Brian] We need people like you in this organisation! [/Life of Brian]

 

I'll get me cloak...

 

[shaun1706]

Have seriously considered doing an eBay tat calendar for next year.

 

Billy, some of the stuff you have said this year has had me in stitches No doubt you will be in the running

[eddyramrod]

He certainly will if someone posts the quotes in this thread!

 

OK, if I'm going to be doing the judging, and if we're going to have a quote per page on the calendar as seems likely, we need to bring forward the cut-off date. Billy, PM me please and we'll talk about that. Anything nominated after the cutoff can go forward to next year.

[Tayne]

it turned out they was doing this gps tagging game, you find the hidden items and win prizes.

 

I decided they must be total fruit loops for doing this and went back to scanning car magazines again instead.

[garethj]

Cavette's posts in the ebay thread are ROFL-making, and H-H-H does an epic job there too. But as an absolute favourite I nominate Barefoot with:

 

I'm struggling to get my head around 113 posts & 8 pages to get a nut off.

 

I can't wait til this bloke changes a fucking cambelt.

[shaun1706]

Is that 'Ashes-to-Ashes' geezer aka Raymanboy Chelsea-dolls-House-Antiques-Roadshow-Grand-Piano-Fruitcake? I miss his listings, he was a full on mental case and no mistaking.

[eddyramrod]

It looks shit and I need cheering up.

 

This is looking strong, I think!

[Tayne]

you could spend hours laughing your tits off at a Chinese car catalogue when they specified extras like wheels, dragon escape hatches and so forth.

[Louise2cv]

LOL, Vauxhalls with hyperactive suspension and XM wiring.

 

I'm gonna enjoy this.

 

I like this

[Formula Autos]

I nominate this gem from Hirst:

 

If we're going to take this whole pollution thing seriously, we need to tackle it head-on by dramatically reducing the birth rate, not by farting around taking away the advantages of the developed world. I'm not having kids and I don't drop litter, there's nothing else I need to do. Cheers!

[M'coli]

H-H-H does an epic job there too.

Aye, he consistently comes up with astounding observations on human behaviour, like this one, again in the eBay thread:

However, Zorro was so taken with this £595 MOT-less example that he took his mask off for a better look.

[Cavcraft]

HHH is the absolute champion of quotes on here, never fails to raise a good old British LOL.

[vulgalour]

If you were a real shitist... with a penchant for unusual clothing, you'd be looking for ways to make a pair of leather keks out of the seats of a Vanden Plas 1500.

 

Finished off with a little burr walnut picnic table on the arse of them.

[sporty-shite]

C U L8R, I'm just off to eat that Cornish Pasty I bought in 1986. I know it'll be ok because it's never been out of the packet.

[quicksilver]

I rather like Watanabe's description of the reaction to his mum's Audi

it was as if I'd rocked up in a gold plate Enzo whilst hanging out of Megan Fox

[eddyramrod]

Wat is a serious contender, it has to be said. His turn of phrase is sometimes almost Gilbertian, which is never a bad thing!

[sporty-shite]

Personally for me it's a life and death situation, as I'd rather an Ital was being kept alive over the majority of the general public.

 

I don't think Hirst raises his head over the parapet quite as often as he should, but when he does, it's usually class!

[jonny69]

Seats 5 and couldn't pull a stick out of a pigs arse

This made me chucking fuckle.